A DAY IN THE LIFE OF ELLE

I have moved...

2010-02-09T16:26:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone. I know I've been extinct for a year. Everything is going okay. The baby is fine. I just have been insanely busy.

I have recently moved onto another blog, and hopefully you'll continue to follow along with me.

http://senseandunsensibility.blogspot.com

Hope to see you there!

THE GOINGS ON IN MY UTERUS

2008-11-07T12:15:00.002-07:00

Been a few weeks since my last point. In that time we did have our ultrasound and to our sneaking suspicions we were totally right... we are having another GIRL!!!! Best of all she looks wonderful and healthy!! I actually had to have a repeat u/s done a week later, because Little Miss was a crazed fetus and wouldn't stop moving! They couldn't get all the scans they needed to make the session complete! She is measuring right on target, and has my nose (sounds crazy but that's how good the picture of her face was!)

Can I say this (without sounding like a horrible person), that I'm really relieved it wasn't a boy? Before all you people out there with sons get all offended, catch my take. I'm used to girls. They are all I know, they are what I'm used to. All the baby stuff I saved is... you guessed it - PINK! When you have three girls already, that poor little guy never stands a chance! Older sisters trying to dress him like a girl, making him play with girl toys. Just ask my brother about that. And I will also admit, boys tend to drive me batty. Not because I dislike boys; but because I'm not around them as often. My nephews... I love them.. but I'm glad when they go home to their mom LOL. They are noisy, loud, rough and tumble. They are either pretending to shoot someone, being shot, exploding something, or being exploded. They bring interesting items into the house that have no reason being in the house LOL. That's just not something I'm used to. True the trade-off is four girls having PMS in the teen years. I'll be on valium and my husband will have reloated himself to a poker shack in the swamp. So it's not like I'm getting off un-scathed here. I'm sure had she BEEN a boy, things would have been fine and I would have been estatic! I would have bought some Tonka trucks or something, and all would've been A-OK.

This being said... I have to admit that some of the responses I have received are a little insulting. People telling me that they were crossing their fingers for me that she was a boy. Or that maybe I could have another baby, and try for a boy. Can I just make one thing clear? I wasn't TRYING for a boy. I was trying for a baby for the better part of 1 1/2 years. I personally think people try to get pregnant with one gender on their agenda are doing it for the wrong reasons. You get what you get; and if you are disappointed that you didn't get what you were hoping for... well you're a damn fool. Take it from me: there are so many couples out there that would give their eye teeth just to have the chance to have a baby. All I've ever wanted out of this pregnancy is a healthy, happy baby. Whether it came home wrapped up in a pink or blue blanket was of no consequence to me. One family member (who shall remain nameless as to avoid embarrassing them completely), actually said once we said we were having a girl, "Oh that's nice.... so what's your weather like?" Curb your enthusiuasm seriously.

I think it's hillarious that people quip the family with one boy/one girl as the "Millionaires Family". I think anyone blessed to have children have won the jackpot. My girls are definately worth their weight in gold. So until February, I'm going to bask in the pink light of this little wonder. I can't wait to meet her!! It is definately going to be an adventure to see how she changes the dynamic of our family!

A LETTER TO A MR. DENNIS LEARY

2008-10-15T11:58:00.002-06:00

Imagine my disgust when I had this quote from Dennis Leary pop up in front of me on my computer this afternoon. Apparently he thinks he is well-educated and informed about Autism, as he had this moronic thing to say about the Autism crisis...

"There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both."

Of course I do have something to say in regards to his statement:

Dear Mr. Leary,

Your complete lack of scruples and intelligence would imply that YOU are the one that is just plain stupid, lazy or both. Stupid for saying that inattentive mothers are the reason why children are being diagnosed with Autism. Lazy for not educating yourself on the realities of Autism. And both for the obvious reasons previously stated.

To make such a broad, ridiculous statement only shows that you are nothing more than another uneducated, loud-mouthed, ignorant jack-ass this world doesn't need. Your over-generalization of the trials a parent with an autistic child goes through is nothing short of insulting. You think this crisis is just something we are making up in our heads? You try living a day in my shoes, and then have the balls to tell me to my face that this isn't real and isn't something thousands upon thousands of people are living with every day.

Don't YOU ever tell me the reason my child is diagnosed with Autism is because I'm lazy, or just looking for a label to blame all my child's problems on. YOU weren't there when she lost her speech at the age of 16 months. YOU weren't there when she withdrew into herself. YOU weren't there to experience my child incapable of interacting with her sisters and parents because of a disorder that is REAL and ripped our hearts in two. YOU weren't there through years and years of intensive therapies trying to help my child. Where the hell do you get off minimizing the pain and the hurt that parents go through every day when they hear that their child has a disability they will have to fight against every single day? Children who have to fight against ignorance likes yours, because you are minimizing something that is real, and they have to live with every single day?

YOU are the reason there is so much ignorance is society about Autism. PEOPLE LIKE YOU are the reason that parents have to fight for their children every day to be treated like equals. Children with Autism are NOT dummies, morons, or anything else you so eloquently described. The fact that you aren't even educated in Autism or anything relatively close to it is laughable. You are so full of yourself that you can honestly think you can un-diagnose children living with Autism? The fact that you think you are an authority on the subject tells me the only one here with mental problems is YOU!

Do humanity a favor and stick to acting. Pretending to be someone you aren't is a lot better than you opening your mouth and showing us who you really are.

DISECTING THE SECTION

2008-10-02T10:23:00.002-06:00

I am now officially at my mid-point in this pregnancy, which is 19 weeks. For me, this is mid-point as I'm going to have a repeat scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. I've had two previous. The first one was with the twins (which wasn't something we planned). They were both head down and Kierra was engaged. Apparently my cervix doesn't like to dilate past 8 cm's at any given time. Even when you are 38 weeks pregnant... with twins... and being induced. I won't complain I guess since I was so afraid of pre-term labor with them. I guess my cervix doesn't like to let them out. There are worse things in the world. Like going through 38+ hours of induced labor only to have a c-section I could have scheduled as elective in the first place and saved myself the hassle of the whole ordeal. That being said, I had beautiful twin girls that tipped the scales at 13 lbs together!! Healthy babies!

Karis was elective as well to a point. I was planning on trying to Vbac until I felt that there was something not sitting right with me. Call it mother's intuition, that nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen. I finally opted for the elective repeat c-section, and gave birth to a 7lb'er at 38 weeks. Not only was it a good decision, it may have saved me and the baby as my c-section scar on my uterus was alarmingly thin. My doctor told me the c-section was definitely the way to go, because I was a prime candidate for a uterine rupture (something you love to hear as they dig around in your uterus). Apparently having twins and then another 19 months apart isn't a good idea. Therefore I was instructed that any further babies I should have, should wait for at least 2 years, and that there was only one more pregnancy allowed. This was fine by me... three babies under the age of 19 months was more than I needed at the time!

So here we are again. I have never really sat and worried about c-sections. The first time I had like 20 minutes to wrap my head around it. It was "you need a c-section" to pulling out two babies. Karis I felt okay about, and didn't fret until the night before. Funny story: I crawled into bed with my mom, who had come down for the occasion, at around 4am. She asked me what was wrong, and I said I was nervous. We had to be up by 5am and at the hospital by 6am. She sleepily went to rub my belly, and instead started to rub my right boob. I said "Um mom, I love you but not that much"... and we both started to laugh our asses off. So yes I was nervous but never really dwelled on it. Maybe I was too busy with the twins as well. Well my sister recently had a baby via c-section and has nicely gone on and on about how crappy it was (it was her 4th baby/3rd section). Proceeded to tell me this was the worst one for pain. So now I'm thinking about it. And I still have 19 weeks left!! How crappy is that?

I'm mostly worried about my chronic puking condition I seem to get during c-sections. The twins I had severe vertigo and vomiting for about 2 days. With Karis I was fine until they wheeled me into recovery, and then I proceeded to vomit for about 16 hours. Not too fun especially when you haven't eaten anything for over 12 hours before the surgery, and you are just dry-heaving bile. So I worry about that. And let's face it: no one likes to be sliced open, even if it's for a cute little baby!

So I basically would LOVE to hear any antidotes about how repeat c-sections any of you may have had went better than the ones before. Seriously now, let's share!! Don't plague me with sagas though of how shitty yours was. While I'd love to hear about it at a later time... not so much right now!

2008-09-27T08:17:00.002-06:00

I am not one of those people that can patiently wait until they day they give birth to find out whether they are having a boy or a girl. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not me!! I am way too nosey and need to plan ahead for everything. Surprises and me do not jive in the least. Maybe it makes me a bit of a control freak.

I've been told I'm ruining one of the best surprises of my life. My theory on that is why do I need to have a human being ripped out of my gut the same day I find out, in order for it to be the total surprise? I mean it's a surprise no matter WHEN you find out what you are having. And considering my history of profuse vomiting for hours on end after I have a kid, I'd like to actually bask in the happy news of what I'm having... rather than trying to apply pressure to the staples in my stomach with a pillow as I dry heave for the 200th time. Which, by the way, I'm going to try to avoid this time. However, I'm not going to hold out too much hope considering my track record. I think I just puke any time something is stuck into my spine (ie: epidural/spinal). Let's hope this anethiseologist knows something about upset stomachs.

Anyways, I find it very hard to go shopping lately without wanting to peruse the baby section. I'm drawn to tiny jammies, bibs, sockies... you name it. And I'm not one that wants to buy gender neutral things. I want pink or blue! I want boyish or girlish!!! My infatuation is growing so bad I actually bought two sleepers for newborns. One was blue with puppies in planes, and the other was pink with bunnies. I made sure that I could bring back one, which I can. I just feel satisfied to have something. I keep looking at crib bedding and wishing I could buy something and get moving. Again, I don't want a gender neutral nursery. So I lie in wait. What makes it worse is that I'm now eligible to have my ultrasound done, so technically I could find out what I'm having. However I opted to schedule the ultrasound for 22 weeks, which is the day of our 10 year wedding anniversary. At the time it sounded so neat to do it this way. Now I'm just chomping at the bit. I try to remind myself that Karis' ultrasound was done around 18 weeks and the technician couldn't verify what it was. I was SO pissed!! It wasn't until around 32 weeks that we found out in a trip to the ER.

Another problem is that me and the hubby have identified with this baby already... as being a girl. I don't know why I can't shake the girl vibe. Neither can he. We refer to my tummy as "her". We are only thinking about girl names. I will feel really bad for this kid if it is a boy and we've been calling it a she all this time. Nevermind that, but I think that it will be a shock and take some time getting used to, if indeed it is a boy. But even my mom is referring to it as a girl. She spent 15 minutes on the phone suggesting girl names. This baby is just radiating femininity I guess!!!

The only one really hoping for a boy (other than my mother-in-law), is Kierra. She would like a brother. The other two are adamant that they have a sister. They think boys are yucky. I tell them that they will love him if he's a boy. And honesty, we would be happy either way. I think we are influenced mostly by our track record. 3/3 kids so far are girls. I am so inclined to say Jarrett's sperm are predominately the X chromosome carriers. Of course I could be totally off on this one too.... which makes me want to know even more!

So I will continue to be obsessed with the mystery baby in my womb until such time I find out. Let's hope that this technician knows what an innie from an outie is, and that this baby is a show boater in there!! Because I think if they are unable to tell me, I'll drive everyone, including myself completely crazy!

ABNORMAL PARANORMAL?

2008-09-16T15:58:00.002-06:00

Just a quick note about my pregnancy before I get into my topic: I'm feeling the baby really thumping in there (although no formal "kick"). It's hilarious how it just amazes me like it was the first time ever I felt a baby inside me move about. I'm waiting for my boot though - and I know hubby can't wait to feel this kiddo shimmy and shake! Oh - and I already got a referral to a REAL OBGYN! That was quick! They are supposed to call me this week to set up a date to come see him. So I guess the other doctor decided it was better for me to see this other guy instead. Whatever... as long as there is someone with a scalpel in February!

So lately I've been really into watching these paranormal shows. Like "Paranormal State" and "Haunting". I don't know why - but as much as these shows totally creep me out, I still love them!!! Not to mention all the creepy dreams I've been having lately. Like the other night I dreamt that vampires were trying to convert all the children at school!! I'm sure it has something to do with me watching these shows. That and Jarrett thinks it's hilarious when I start yelling "Why would he summon that????" and "Oh man I wouldn't live in THAT house!" But it gets me thinking about whether we all have some sort of ability to channel spirits? Not that I want to put theory to the test but I think on some level, we are all probably able to do this. I mean we use only a fraction of our brain's potential, so who would be so bold as to say what the under-utilized part is capable of? I'm not saying every person out there claiming to be a medium is real (a lot of people are out to make a buck in any shape or form), but you have to truly wonder about those that can nail things about people they've never met? How can it all just be a sheer coincidence?

Of course there are the nay sayers that don't believe in the paranormal, because they don't believe in the afterlife. Or they believe you go to Heaven or Hell... no one floats in between somewhere. But I still wonder... what if a spirit had unresolved issues and refused to pass on, or was unable to pass on? I mean what can we REALLY know about what happens after we die? I'm not talking about those people with the near-death experiences who say they saw a white light and their life flashed before their eyes. I'm just saying, how can we truly know what happens, or to what degree?

Personally I think there is more to life after death. I wouldn't be so bold as to say what I think happens to us. I mean I guess that would largely depend on our religious/spiritual beliefs, and what kind of person we were on Earth. And while I'm intrigued about the possibility that some individuals may communicate with people beyond the grave, I'm not going to start having seances or anything. I think toying with something that we can't begin to understand is just asking for trouble. And honestly, if I were ever in a situation where I thought I was in an exchange with something supernatural - I'd be high-tailing it out of there! But I can't help but wonder about the "what ifs" of the life/death paradigm.

What are your thoughts?

THE CRAZIES OF PREGNANCY

2008-09-12T18:25:00.003-06:00

I'm now in the midst of my 16th week - and I think I've lost about 16% of my brain capacity. I can hardly formulate a sentence without looking like a complete idiot. Yup you guessed it... I have preggy brain!! Those who have experienced this know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The lack of concentration, the inability to recall information (like when I was asked for my postal code and for the life of me, couldn't remember it). Or names... God forbid anyone who introduces themself to me. I just sit there thinking "Oh I won't remember who you are until some time next year you poor sap!" It's an actual REAL phenomenon for those of you unaware. Your brain actually SHRINKS during pregnancy. Must be the hormone thing I guess. Your brain shrinks and your ass widens. Seems like a fair trade off. I know my husband doesn't mind other assets of my pregnancy. Namely my illustrious bosom. Can't blame him - they are pretty spectacular. Too bad they hurt so much all the time.

As in any pregnancy, I had my first OB visit (I should clarify and say it wasn't the first time I saw a doctor; it was just until now I was seeing my family practitioner who kept making me pee on pregnancy tests and asking why I thought I was pregnant). See... there is a reason why he doesn't care for maternity patients. Nevertheless... where I live (Canada), or should I clarify WHERE I live (Alberta), there is a very uneven ratio of pregnant women to OB's. Like for every 100 pregnant women, there is 1 OB. Therefore you see doctors that practice maternal medicine, who aren't TECHNICALLY OBGYN's, but do delivery babies vaginally. As such, I'm considered low-risk and don't warrant the high-risk OBGYNS. Unless my baby has two heads, I'm going to the maternity clinic like all the other knocked up ladies.

So I FINALLY get my referral from crazy pregnancy-test GP to this nice clinic they just opened about five months ago. I meet the doctor's nurse, who is super sweet! Just the kind of person you feel instantly at ease with. We talk a few minutes and I casually mention I'll require a c-section because of my prior births. She looks at me and says, "Well you shouldn't have been referred here, you should have been directly referred to the high-risk clinic at the hospital with the actual OBGYN". *Sigh* - and then she tells me that they don't even take care of mandatory c-section patients. She excuses herself to talk to the doctor quickly, to see if he'll even see me. GREAT! I'm 16 weeks pregnant and no one wants to take care of me and my baby! She comes back in, and says Dr. B feels badly I've been run around the city and between people, and that he'd like to personally take me on as his patient until I'm 36 weeks, and he'll book me directly for the c-section and take care of the consultation with the surgeon for me!! WELL THAT'S BETTER! We pre-booked all my appointments with him until the end of January.

So feeling pretty special the nurse asks me to lift up my top so we can listen to the baby's heartbeat. I haven't heard it yet, so I happily whip out my belly for a listen. She tries for 10 minutes to find it, and can't. By that time I'm feeling a little worried. She's pretty quiet and I know what she's thinking "Where the heck are you?" She says she'll let Dr. B take a looksie (I hate when people say that; it's just their way of downplaying a potentially serious situation), and hopefully he'll find it. She leaves for about 5 minutes and he comes in all smiles. Says he heard the nurse couldn't find baby, and that sometimes that happens, but in some cases, the baby has died. GREAT!! Of course I was worrying the same thing, and he asks me if I felt it moving. I said I thought I had actually, but now I'm second-guessing fetal movement being gas. He said if he can't find it, I'll have to have a stat ultrasound to see if the baby is still viable. By this time I'm almost ready to burst into tears, fully anticipating he won't find the baby. He plops his Doppler down and IMMEDIATELY I hear the comforting "woosh woosh" of this little baby who was so shy 15 minutes earlier! I think I yelled "THERE YOU ARE!"... almost adding "you little shit!" It was in the 150's, and sounding great!! Once that was over with, he said I was looking good weight and blood pressure wise, and he'd see me in October!!

Now I know a lot of people have had the same experience where they had a baby that was shy and hiding about, not making it easy to hear the heartbeat. I don't think there is anyone that is rational though when this happens. I think we ALL fear the worst possible scenario. Thank God mine didn't come to fruition. But I will admit to anyone reading that when the nurse first left to get the doctor, I prayed to God that this baby was fine, and the doctor would be able to find the heartbeat right away. Isn't that what we do for any of our children though? Ask God for those little miracles all along the way? And I know that not all prayers are answered. But I'm thankful that He saw fit to answer that one.

I know I'm going to have a lot more of these little experiences before I meet this little one. I'll be praying that the AFP/triple screen comes out negative. I'll be praying that the ultrasound in October shows a healthy, wonderful baby. I'll be praying that the GD test comes back negative. I'll be praying like crazy before the c-section. It's a wonder that I'll get to enjoy any of this pregnancy the way I fret like a complete neurotic. And the funniest part is when you hold that baby in your arms, all the worries and the prayers are worth it. And you are just thankful to finally be in that moment. Months of morning sickness, forgetfulness, constipation, braxton hicks, worrying.... it all boils down to one single moment. And isn't it worth it?

OH... I GUESS I FAILED TO MENTION

2008-09-03T10:48:00.002-06:00

It's probably time I've come out with it. I DO have a little tidbit I've been withholding for a while now. Call it superstitious or what have you, but I now feel ready to say we are expecting baby number four!!

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant, which puts me at around February 25th for a due date. We are super excited, but mostly because we thought that we weren't going to have this opportunity again. Background:

With our twins, we had tried for about 2 1/2 years to get pregnant to no avail. It finally took three IVF attempts (number three was the lucky one), and had our lovely twin girls. After that, we were just so happy to have two healthy babies, we thought anything else after that was just a bonus. 10 1/2 months after the twins were born, I peed on a stick and got my third baby. Yes a total shocker, since we were told we only had a 7% chance of conceiving naturally. But that's okay - we were thrilled to have another (even though that meant three babies under the age of 19 months!).

When Jarrett and I got married, we always tossed around the number of kids we wanted. We both definitely wanted two, and I was leaning towards a third. When I was preggers with number three, Jarrett told me, "We're outnumbered anyways, why not go for number four?" I told him one thing at a time. My uterus was still occupied and that was the last thing on my mind. Once I had Karis, I wasn't really thinking babies, mostly because I was EXTREMELY busy with the three I now had, and Kierra was diagnosed with Autism shortly thereafter. I knew I didn't want Jarrett to get the big-V though. I just didn't know what I wanted. I think timing was a huge issue for us: we didn't have the time or energy to entertain the thought of another baby. We needed things to calm down a lot, and to mainly get Kierra's therapy and progress to a certain point. But about 3 years after Karis was born I started to think that I really did want another baby. After much discussion, we decided to wait until we felt things with Kierra were going much better; basically that I would have the time to properly give ALL these kids my attention. When we finally got to that point, we decided to go full-force ahead. AND... felt that we were re-living the whole "not getting knocked up" past, because after one year - still no baby. Won't lie and say it wasn't hugely disappointing. I mean I knew that old song and dance routine pretty well. I tried to not let it get to me. I mean we knew our odds were low, and maybe Karis was just that miracle baby - that lone 7% chance. Plus I already had three lovely little girls.

I'd pretty much all but given up. 16 months later, I'm thinking "Hmmmmmm, my chart is pretty uncharacteristic, and I'm pretty tired". Decide to wait it out a few days, because honestly I was sick of peeing on sticks for no reason at all. Finally caved and low and behold, a big old + came up! I think I started to yell and cry at the same time, because I was totally shocked and thrilled!! I mean I think we both had come to the conclusion that this wasn't going to happen for us. But if I've ever learned anything, it's that God works in mysterious ways.

So here I am: still in disbelief at times that I'm actually having another baby! It's funny how I've forgotten all those little nuances of pregnancy. Of course I don't know what I'm having yet (I'm thinking girl though), and I hope to find out in October sometime. In any case, we are just hoping for healthy because really it doesn't matter if it's an innie or an outtie. I can't wait to see her little face, to hear her little cries. To smell that sweet smell that all newborns have. And to finally complete my family. All I know is that all my of my pregnancies are a miracle to me. It doesn't matter if it was a medical miracle or just the kind that God surprises you with. I just feel blessed.

LOTS OF ANNOUNCEMENTS

2008-06-29T07:36:00.002-06:00

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a ton of announcements so let me just start by saying, I know I've been away a while, but after you read this you'll fully forgive me.

First off, I had my in-laws here for a week about two weeks ago. During that time, my twins turned 6 years old!! I hosted a party for them with 13 children (yes you read that right!). It went really well though. The girls had a blast and felt extremely nostalgic. During the inlaw week-long visit, it rained. I don't mean it rained a little. I mean it rained the ENTIRE time they were here. Therefore we didn't do too much of anything!

After that we had company coming for another 10 days. These were our good friends from North Dakota. We went to university with them, they were in our wedding party when Jarrett and I got married. Long history!!! We had a BLAST!! Honestly I haven't had that much fun in ages!! We went to Banff, we went to the Zoo, we went shopping and to lunch.... She was even awesome enough to come with me to my next job and help me paint a bedroom!!!!! Honestly, was very sad to see her have to go home, but it was such a good visit that I just look forward to doing it again!!!

Kierra's cast is off!!! Thank God!!!! Jarrett took her to a clinic where they do cast removal, he started to saw it, she started to scream, and the doctor states, "I can't do this, you have to take her to the ER at Children's!" Jarrett just looked at him with a you gotta be kidding me look. I mean who clogs up the ER with a cast removal? He insists he can't do it because she's screaming. Jarrett pretty much calls him a pussy, and then proceeds to the ER, where he spent five hours waiting. Once he gets in, they decide that they could sedate her (which isn't happening), so then they get four other adults to help Jarrett hold her down while they take off the cast. It took all five of them to hold her down, and they were amazed how strong she was!!! So one tramatized kid later, Kierra is now cast-free and running about like a mad child!!!

The twins are done school, so I officially have Kindergarten graduates!!! Jenna was really sad because she loves her teacher and doesn't want a new one in the fall. I'm trying to tell her that it's just the way it is, and she'll love her next teacher too. She wasn't convinced and had grand hysterics in the schoolyard on her last day. Poor kid!!! They both passed (does anyone "fail" kindy anymore?), and now the countdown of 60 days begins.

Karis and Jenna also had their dance receital, which was extremely cute and done at the worst possible time of day 11:00 to 1:30. By the time it was over, I had children crying and screaming at me because they were hungry. I had to shower them to get the make-up and hairspray off of them. Try to shower children who are screaming at you with all they got!!! It's insane!!! After daddy got McDonald's and you never heard so much content chewing in your life!!!!

Anyways, that's about it for me. I am really busy with my business (oh I registered it btw!), and I'm working on three rooms simultaniously right now. No I don't mind the stress really LOL. Hope everyone is doing well, and I'll be updating soon!!!

I NEED A BREAK

2008-06-06T08:00:00.002-06:00

Well lots has happened since my last post.

To start off with: Kierra is now sporting a cast on her lower leg. Last Saturday she had an accident on the swing where she must've gotten her foot caught as she swung up. I wasn't there (I was on a date with my hubby), however she was with her babysitter who didn't actually see what happened. She just knows Kierra started to cry, which is something that doesn't happen often when she gets hurt. I find out about this incident around 10:30 pm when we get home. She says her ankle is really swollen. THAT was an understatement! It was huge!!

The next day, hubby takes her to a walk-in and they decide it's probably sprained but they want to send her for x-rays. So he takes her for the x-rays, comes back to the clinic, and they say they suspect a bad sprain. However they will call us if there is anything that comes up from the radiologist. The next day, she goes to school.

Tuesday morning I get a call from the doctor clinic asking me to bring Kierra in. I ask why but they won't say. FINE! So I pull her out of school for the afternoon and head to the clinic, where they actually misplaced her file, asked me three times why I was there (um derr cause you called me in!). Get into the room and the doctor wants to know what I want...... again derrr. Finally he figures it all out and says, "Oh well the radiologist thinks there is buckling on her tibia and fibula from a greenstick fracture". Oh nice..... Wait there's more! "looks like there could be a hairline fracture on the top of her foot too. She should have been casted on Saturday".

So basically the idiots that sent her home on Sunday, and then didn't call on Monday, but waited three days while she hopped and walked around on it decided she should have a cast. Then he tells me to take her to Children's Hospital ER with this note from him.

So I get Jenna out of school, take her and Karis to the neighbors and head up to Children's Hospital. Where the parking meters (both of them) are broken. I figure fuck it, I don't have time to go looking for a functional meter somewhere else. I get in and wait for triage and one of the guards tells me I could go to the parkade to pay. Why the hell should I? You guys have an ER where parents bring in children who are sick, but you want us to run around like chicken's with cut off heads because you're parking meters in the ER parking lot are broken? Screw that! I told him let them write me a ticket, I'd love to see it (btw: I didn't get a ticket after parking there for over 5 hours).

After a long while, the doctor comes in and decides he wants to see the radiology CD I had from the week-end. He goes off, and I think he must've left on sabitical or something. He finally comes back and decides he's not sure (huh?), so let's call someone down from Radiology to look at it. In that time, he kicks us out of our room and makes us sit in chairs in the hallway. 20 minutes later he comes back and says two greenstick fractures in the leg, one in the foot and badly sprained ankle - we have to cast it. So we gather up our stuff and go back into the room. And wait.... and wait.... and wait..... They bring in the casting cart and I'm hopeful but I wait... and wait... and wait. I see the doctor put on a gown to keep his pants clean and guess what? I wait some more as I listen to some poor child screaming because they are trying to put an IV in. Then a code blue (that was accidental apparently). FINALLY he comes and puts this cast on. He finishes and tells me to suspend her foot by hanging onto her toes for 15 minutes while it dries because he's done. Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Kierra giggles the entire time thankfully - but I mean you can only laugh so long when someone is holding up a heavy casted leg that hurts, by your toes no less. Finally the thing sets (she picked green), and we get ready to leave. I'm waiting for discharge papers or directions or something. Nurse comes in, shoves a pamphlet at me and tells me to come back in 3 weeks and they'll remove it. Then Kierra get's pissed because her shoe obviously doesn't fit over her cast. I inquire what does she walk with. She won't use the crutches. So the nurse brings this little walking sandal. How summery! Now it's 7:30pm and we haven't had dinner. Me being nice mom, takes her to Wendy's.

All this time my husband is out of town by the way. He's in a conference that he company has every year.... in Banff. I call him to tell him I'm in the ER, then later to say Kierra is being casted. So he took my cue and came home a day earlier. What a sport! Of course he's pissed (as am I) at the original doctor from Sunday.

Ask me if this has slowed Kierra down..... no. She's runnning and doing this little gimpy hop cast and all. The child is insane!!! She'd ride her bike if you let her. In fact she wants to play at the playground. I have a feeling it's going to be a long three weeks .... for both of us.

A MONTH GONE BY?

2008-05-20T00:16:00.004-06:00

.... since my last post? Wow I'm officially the crappiest blogger in blogland LOL. In my defense - I have had more than my fair share of stuff going on in the last month. So I'm just going to use that as my excuse and get down to business...

1) SCHOOL SITUATION: Has been resolved in a manner that is favorable to us. Basically had a sit-down meeting with the Principal.... the first half of the meeting was negative and seemed to be going no where fast. The second half did a drastic 180 in which we were told that all the kids could attend the school. It eluded me to the point I didn't quite understand what had even happened. Jarrett had to actually interrupt my continual bantering to say "we are very happy" - to which I immediately shut my mouth. So that is over and done with! I must admit - a little shocked it worked out. Jarrett concedes that he always knew it would. I'm just going to say I'm happy it's over. I can sleep again (which is good - I need to sleep otherwise I'm a total crab-ass).

2) BUSINESS I'm in the midst of completing my first project... which I am very happy with and am having tons of fun! It's a little girl room, and I basically have full discretion to do whatever I please. One would think this is a good thing... it's double-edged because I have to now meet my own insane standards which is quite possibly worse than anyone else's when it comes to sheer pickiness. I hope to be done by the end of May. I will post before/after pictures.

3) RING: Did I mention in the midst of the school explosion that my husband gave me our 10 year anniversary gift a little early? He gave me a 3.75 total weight diamond ring!! The middle stone is about 1.5 carats, accented with two side stones and pave about 3/4 of the way around the band. I'm in love with it!!! He decided either give it to me now, or let it sit in the safety deposit box. He opted for the first... and I'm most happy he did! Our actual anniversary is October. Can I say this man just is the most amazing husband?

(These pictures were added for Schmitty who wants to give her husband a hint. Dear Schmitty's Husband.... hint hint hint!!!)

4) SOCIAL EVENT: I also went to my brother's engagement party for a "just me" week-end. Me: no kids, no husband. Actually it was Jarrett who decided I needed to go to "represent" us. It was nice (except I got a nasty cold just before) - and I had the best time! I went with my friend from high school and, according to my mother, it was like high school all over again. I'm not much for drinking but I did my best to pretend I was seasoned at it during this party. By the end, my friend crashed with me at my parents house and we did shots with my mom in the bar until 3am. Needless to say I had a hang-over. However, I am told that we were a ton of fun! I also got to rub my sister's pregnant belly multiple times. Aunty loves her baby bellies!

5) VISITING: I'm so happy that our great friends from Grand Forks (C & S) are coming to visit us in a month!!!!!! It was such a surprise that "S" had a conference here in Calgary! I'm totally stoked since we don't get to see them very often (unless one of us is popping out a baby and are hosting a Christening). I can't wait to see them and I know we are going to have an awesome time!!!!!!!!!!

6) LOUIS VUITTON: Anyone that has read this blog since the beginning knows of my unnatural infatuation with Louis Vuitton. It's a sickness really. However, a friend of mine just came back from Paris and bestowed upon me a LV wallet! I just about dropped over when she gave me the little brown box. For those of you that don't "get" this that's okay. My own husband doesn't get it, but says the sheer bliss on my face is priceless. That and he accidentally almost spilled syrup on my LV purse at the Mother's Day brunch and almost had a panic attack. He must have feared for his life. Rightfully so! LOL.

7) FAMILY GET-AWAY: Jarrett's company decided he works too hard (they are right), and that he needed to have a family get-away (right again). Therefore they decided to send us on a week-end together, all expenses paid! We decided on West Edmonton Mall. Those of you not familiar, it is the biggest mall in North America (bigger than Mall of America). It has an amazing indoor waterpark that has this massive wave pool, and amusement park! We had a BLAST! The girls had a blast!! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!! Here I am with water up my nose, trying to keep my kid's head from being bombarded by a wave, and I'm giggling like a dope!!! I practially lost my bathing suit top from the sheer force of simulated rip tides - I'm laughing like a hyena. Honestly it was wonderful!!!

So that's my month in a nutshell. I realize it's much to absorb. Sorry that I'm been basically a shit about keeping up with this blog (and keeping up with all of you). I guess life has a way of keeping you so preoccupied, you don't know whether you are coming or going. I guess as long as you are smiling in spite of the confusion - it isn't too bad!

JUST CRAP

2008-04-18T11:31:00.002-06:00

There is so much crap going on in my life this last week, it's just draining to even really get into the whole nitty gritty of it all. First though, I'll answer the previous question about the business everyone wants to know about.

I am looking to start a business in home design, specifically children rooms and nurseries. I have my first "client" coming next Wednesday to discuss ideas... she has two rooms for me to do. I'm excited about it, unfortunately crap this week is really put a damper on that excitement.

On Tuesday I got a call from the girl's school saying there was an issue for funding for Kierra's educational needs for the next school year. They said that the Board of Education (BE) would only give funding if the girls were at their designated school (which is in a crap part of town, no thank-you!). This is why we had them released from this school, so they could register at this one. In fact, Karis is also registered to attend Kindergarten this Fall. The principal wants me to drive to the school every day to monitor Kierra during the lunch hour, and volunteer every day. So essentially sit at school all day and babysit my child. I told her I have Karis still at home (half days, she's registered for Kindergarten this Fall there), and that I can't be at the school. She suggested I hire a nanny to watch Karis... and then said I could hire a nanny to volunteer at the school instead. SAY WHAT? I asked if this could be solved by us hiring our own aide, to which she said no, we can't do that. The school can only hire aides, but it's not in their budget to do so.

The next day I get another call saying I have to withdraw all three of my children from this school because they will not use their budget for Kierra's needs. I needed to register them at their designated school. First off, why are you kicking out all three? Second, why on earth did this just become an issue now? They KNEW this obviously beforehand. The BE did their own eval last spring for Kierra, determined she could be intergrated into a normal school, and that she could attend this school. Now they don't want to fund her education? She had provincial PUF funding, but that ends at six years old (this June). They never told us that there would't be funding after Kindergarten. In fact I didn't even know of this little tidbit until AFTER she kicked my kids out. I know that she had her mind made up the day before, she was just called me as a guise so it didn't totally come out of left field. She prattled on and on, and I told her I had to go, because I was upset and couldn't finish this conversation right then. Hung up and basically bawled my face off.

Needless to say I've been a wreck. I can't sleep, I'm stressed to the point I'm physically ill, and losing weight (this isn't actually a bad thing). As of this morning, we sent a letter to the school, asking for all these facts to be responded to by writing, sent a copy to the Trustee of the Board of Education, two MLA's, the Superintendant of the school, and the Director. If this doesn't work, we'll be going to the press and contacting the Canadian Society for Autism.

We want to know why they would accept a child out of their designated area, with full disclosure of her autism diagnosis if they weren't prepared to take care of her educational needs? It's not like they didn't know. We want to know why they won't transfer this funding (or if she even asked if it could be done)? We want to know why the other two are being asked to leave, and if other children that are not part of this district are being asked to leave as well? I know they aren't because our neighbor's son goes to the same school. In fact, they opened their doors to other undesignated districts because of low enrollment rates, and that they were at risky for being shut down. I want to know how they can use a loophole to basically turn my child away from a school she loves and excels at? If any of you can answer this, I'd love to hear it. But honestly, anyone that could rationalize this to me is basically as ignorant as the people I'm dealing with right now.

CUE THE TUMBLEWEED TO FLOAT BY THE DESSERTED BLOG

2008-04-14T08:16:00.002-06:00

Hi. I wonder if anyone even comes by here anymore? LOL. I'm not sure why they would considering I've been missing for almost a month now. I've been so preoccupied lately, I just don't even have the time to sit down and write.

So much has been going on I couldn't even possibly sit here and type about it. It's all a jumbled mess. I'll do a quick re-cap:

* Kierra got her contract for services extended another year
* I started running and exercising more
* Jarrett bought a new barbeque
* my mom and sister had a huge fight (with me in the middle of it) but now it's resolved
* I've been decorating my kids' rooms
* I'm in the process of starting up my own business
* My kids are driving me nuts!

So that's it in an eggshell!! Hope everyone is doing okay!!

YOU KNEW I'D BE BACK

2008-03-17T14:36:00.002-06:00

Don't worry - I didn't succumb to the evil green onion e coli rampage. I've just been extremely busy the last week, I haven't had time to even think about putting together any tangible thoughts. But I'm back now - so all is good.

Since I left off, me and the hubby got the Guitar Hero package. We spent Friday and Saturday night jamming. I had to laugh at how addictive this game actually is. That and me and Jarrett have a "friendly" competitive nature between us. Actually he kicked my ass in most face offs. The only time I could kick his when it was a complicated song like Santana or Metallica's "One". I told him this means I have more raw talent. Plus he played before when I hadn't - it's no wonder he dominated. His friend's found out that we have it, and actually invited themselves over this week-end. Not sure how that happened: seems one guy said "Hey I'll come jam with you" and then texted another one to join in. I said, "Wow nice of them to let us know they are coming". Sheesh! You will laugh when I tell you that I decorated my guitar not with the standard rock n roll stickers that come with the set, but rather with Karis' Hello Kitty stickers. Yes you read right - I put Hello Kitty all over my guitar! So I'd like to see the look on the guy's faces when one of them is forced to play on the Hello Kitty guitar. It may be a little immasculating. I think it's funny as hell. I might even offer to paint their toenails when they are between sets.

Sunday afternoon I was invited to a friend's house and she had a spa party. It consisted of new age tranquil music, a glass of white wine, and a facial, and hand and foot treatments! AHHHHH!!!!! My pores are refined, my face is dermabraised and supple, my hands look like I don't wash dishes, and my feet don't look like cloven hooves. All in all, it was a good time. PLUS I didn't have to contend with any children whatsoever! Of course the ackward part was at the end, when the hostess was trying to pimp out all the products. I loved the line, "All these products are valued at $650.00 - but if you buy into the plan, you can get it all for $150.00". I mean c'mon! I'm more than happy to go to London Drug and buy my Vichy stuff. And I'm not so old yet that I need special cream for crow's feet. Give me some time before that phase of my life. I jokingly said, "Whatever a cream can't fix, botox can". Watch, the next invite I'll get will be to a Botox party.

The girls will be out on Spring Break starting in T minus two days. Ahhhhh, 13 glorious days in a row with my children. I sound like a cold-hearted bitch. Actually I'm at a loss how I'll occupy Kierra that whole time. Whenever she's bored, she gets busy. Busy to her means being destructive and making me want to hit the liquor cabinet. Jarrett was kind enough to take a day off to help break it up a bit. I was initially hoping to go to my parents for Easter/Spring Break, but when that plan fell through, I knew I was going to have to go solo.

Anyways, that's about it for me. I'm trying to think of reasons why I shouldn't make the trip to the dry cleaners to drop off Jarrett's shirts, but since I can't - I best be on my way. Cheers!

DEATH BY ONIONS

2008-03-05T09:01:00.002-07:00

I am currently under the weather. After another famed Kierra "taco night", Jarrett and I both succumbed to the wretchedness of food poisoning. Before you think "hell I'm never going to her house for dinner", let me get one thing straight. It wasn't my fault! It was the blasted green onions! It is the only logical explanation because the kids ate everything we did EXCEPT for the green onions. They are fine -no explosive diarrhea, no projectile vomiting, no pounding headaches. WE didn't get off so lucky. I started to feel ill half-way through my massage last night. At first I passed it off as nothing, got home around 8:00pm and thought I was going to vomit on the couch. I ate about a truckload of Tums trying to soothe my boiling stomach. My darling husband complained he has "gas", and asked how I felt. I just layed on the couch with my eyes closed. I soon went to bed and found out soon enough Jarrett had it worse than me (he ate more of the onions), as he spent most of the night throwing up in the basement bathroom as to not wake the rest of the family. Unfortunately for him, he didn't quite make it there in time, and spent a good forty minutes cleaning up his mess. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to clean it up for him because I'm not good with puke messes. Case in point: if one of my children is throwing up in the toilet, I'm throwing up in the bathroom sink alongside. This morning so far consists of running to and fro from the bathroom, and feeling like my stomach is eating itself. FUN!!!

I will say yesterday did start off having the potential of being a lovely evening. First off, I managed to get my crafty little hands on a Nintendo Wii system quite by accident. I've been looking for one for the hubster for months, but to no avail. They are hard suckers to get a hold of (unless you want to be completely ripped off on Ebay). I was in Wal-Mart Monday afternoon and all of a sudden, like a voice from the Heavens, an announcement was made that a shipment of Wii's just came in, and it was first come, first serve! I grabbed Karis' hand and dragged her to the electronics - dodging between other frantic mother's with small children, who were bounding down the aisle like gazelles. I managed to be third in line. The patrons were mostly women - all looking to buy this system for their A) son, B) husband or C) significant other. We all laughed how crazy it was that we were so insane about buying one - yet none of us would give up her spot. If the fire alarm had gone off, most of us probably would have sat there with our hair on fire, waiting with our Visas. It didn't matter if babies were crying or a child lost his shoe back in the Hallmark card section. All that mattered was receiving the coveted game system. They just took them straight out of the crate, and put them in bags for purchase. $285.00 later - I was the proud owner of a Wii (this is such a sad statement .... really it is).

The funniest part was going through the store afterwards since I had shopping to do still (and had to find my discarded cart from before) - was the men in the store that weren't fortunate to get in the line before they all sold out in about ten minutes flat!!! They could see the black letters "w i i " through the bag, and were longingly looking at the bag. It was almost dirty in a way. I felt like Indiana Jones or something - ready for this tribe of crazed husbands to take me out for my bag. People asked if there were anymore - I shock my head and considered trying to make a buck off this Wii. I mean surely I could make at least $100.00 in 10 minutes time? However, I re-thought it, because I really wanted to surprise Jarrett. This would be the one thing he'd never expect.

When I gave it to him last night, he laughed... he almost picked up an XBox 360 on the way home for work!!! He wanted Guitar Hero III but you can only get it around here for the PC or XBox. He resigned to the fact it's either the XBox or nothing. Since his huge Guitar Hero blister (I mean boys night) - he has been absolutely insistent that we get this. Don't think I didn't try to get Guitar Hero. I went canvassing the local stores but I was laughed at by numerous salespeople. I was told unless I was standing at the door when they opened, on the day the shipment came in - good luck! REALLY? Are people this crazed? (says the woman who just ran through Wal-Mart like a psychiatric patient). Jarrett had a huge smile and probably looked the way I looked when he gave me that Louis Vuitton purse. His smile quickly became loud cussing, as he spent the better part of two hours trying to figure out why it wasn't hooking up properly. I suggested having a receiver, a switch box, stereo system, ipod docking station, and DVD player hooked up already could make it a trickier issue than he originally thought. I actually went to bed at 10:00 (already feeling nauseous), and he woke me up around 11:00 to brightly declare "I got it hooked up!" He actually made me get out of bed, so I could watch him play the Simpson's Game. This didn't do wonders for my stomach though, since I already feel like blowing chunks. However, we did go online to Ebay and bought a new Wii Guitar Hero III bundle with the second guitar for $235.00. So in less than 24 hours, I spent $520.00 on my husband.

I try not to think of the starving children in Africa.

I also try not to think about tacos.

PARADE OF CHILDREN

2008-03-01T08:06:00.003-07:00

WOW! The last few days have been complete and utter chaos. Yes, I did get a good snooze in after my last posting. Thank you Melatonin!!! However, I needed the Z's .... you'll see why in a minute.

Thursday I started off my day very leisurely. Kierra had just left with her therapist for Kids Day Out, and I was hand-painting some crafts for the twins new bedroom. When I get a call from the twins school. I answer and the receptionist tells me my friend "A" needs me to go pick up her daughter at her pre-school because she is having a medical issue. I guess after dropping off her daughter, she was taking her son to school, and she started to get vertigo and feel faint. She got to the school and had them call me, her emergency contact. A few months ago, I got a call from the same friend who had passed out and hit her head at home. I had to call the ambulance then. So I get Jenna and Karis into the minivan, get over to the pre-school, and pick up the daughter. Then I go to the other school, to go pick up the son from Kindergarten. I figured I better do it while Kierra was still out with her therapist since I only have three carseats in my car. Have you done the math yet? I had two kids, picked up one, and was getting one more.

I get to the school and "A" has called a cab to take her to the doctor's office. She tells me to take the booster carseat out of her van and shove it in mine. I say great! Until I realize the space between the two carseats on the third row is way too narrow. And of course, the middle seats are buckets, and one is out of it since we never use the thing. WHOOPS!! So I say, "Now what do I do?" She tells me to just strap him into the seat between the carseats without the booster, it's only 10 minutes away from home. I'm freaking... he's not restrained in a carseat? But what other option do I have now? I can't even carry the second bucket seat out of the basement if I wanted. Her husband is in the air to Toronto.... So I tell her O.K., but if I get a ticket she's paying for it! (I find out after that as long as your child is over 45 lbs, they can sit in the car like that, even though not recommended - which is good from that standpoint). So I buckle this poor kid in so tight, he can barely breathe, and drive half the speed limit home.

About an hour later, she calls to say her doctor told her she had a panic attack, and he's putting her on some med's. I told her come to my house and she can hang with us. She gets there, has a bit of a meltdown, and we try to get a hold of her husband. He just flew for four hours... and he gets off his plane and his wife tells him "turn around"... and he humps it over to the ticket counter to get onto the next flight home... another four hours in the air. She also has no vehicle because it's still at the school (although she can't drive anyways). I decide to take the twins to school, go get her prescription, and give her a phone and tell her "sit on my couch, don't move and call me if you have any problems. I can't take all five kids with me in the van. After all this, she feels okay enough to go home. Since she lives next door I say ok, and she's to call if anything goes wrong. Her husband's plane was delayed two hours, he didn't get home until 9:00pm!

The next day, I'm getting the house organized because I have another friend's son coming over for lunch and I'm taking the three of them to school (the girls are in the same class as him). The night before Jarrett has to haul up the second bucket seat for the van, so I can put his booster seat into the van (I didn't like driving around a child like that). Around 9:30am, I get a knock on my door. It's "A"'s husband who says they are going to pick up the van, could I take their daughter for a bit since her carseat is in the van. I say sure, send her downstairs with the girls. The husband comes back, without the van, telling me that "A" had another panic attack while driving to go pick up the van... so the van is STILL at the school! So me being nice tell him why don't they leave their daughter with me for a bit, so "A" can take her med's and settle down for a bit. This turns out until 15 minutes before the other boy comes over, I get a fifteen minute reprieve, and then get my new tenant for lunch. For the next hour I get a taste of what having triplets would have been like, stuff all these kids into the van, and take them to this church, because they are having rehearsals for a play they are doing later that night. I get to the church, basically toss three children out of a still-moving van (I'm just kidding) and now I only have one. One little girl who harrasses me continously where we are going. I can't give her back to her mommy ... because I AM her mommy!!

Two hours of "ME" time at home, and I run back to the school to collect my children. Then that evening they had their concert, so we had to doll up the twins, shove everyone back into the minivan, trying to manuveur around the stupid second bucket seat in everyone's way. I tell Jarrett "would you take this freakin' thing out?" and he does, and knocks my side mirror out all to hell. SIGH - we get to the concert and the line is insane! Our neighbor-husband is there with his son and "A" stayed home since she was tranquillized. We decided to adopt him for the evening (well Karis did), and he sat with us for the next hour and half for this performance. I will add now it started at 7:00 pm, and my kids go to bed around 7:30pm. So we watched, it was cute. Karis did a insane jig everytime music came on - most parents were watching her instead of their own kids. At 8:30 - I collect my girls and Jenna is standing next to a classmate that is wearing the exact same frilly peach dress as her! Oh lord! Who would guess? I mean I bought it two years ago? So Jenna is lamenting about having this major fashion faux pas happen to her. We tell our friend we'll swing by the school, and Jarrett can drive his minivan back to the house for him. Get home, brush our children's teeth by putting all their faces smooshed together and making one broad brushing motion - and tuck them in. I swear - less than five minutes and they were ALL sleeping!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So this concludes my last two days of panamonium. I hoped you enjoyed reading this - moreso than I enjoyed living it! Lesson in all this? There is none LOL.

SLEEP... I NEED SLEEP!!!

2008-02-26T23:24:00.002-07:00

I'm having one of those evenings where I'm tired, and I can't fall asleep. It's insomnia for dummies. I took a melatonin about an hour ago, and I think it's finally kicking in. I'm not quite "there" yet (this would mean to the point I'm so tired, I don't care that my husband is snoring in my face). I hope to be there soon.

I get like this every once in a while. It's not for any real reason, mostly because my stupid brain won't shut off. It's stuck in auto-pilot and demanding my conscious attention. Like what I did today, conversations I had... mindless stuff that would make any normal person fall asleep within three seconds from the sheer boredom. I knew from about 8:00 onwards this was going to happen because I was getting the jittery legs. That's usually my tell-tale sign that I'm on a high anxiety level. Perhaps if I did a few jumping jacks, I could mellow out. But since I already took off my bra for the night, I won't be doing that. They aren't mighty, but hey - they still hurt when you jump around unsupported.

So I guess I'll recap today's events: IPP Meeting. It was, more or less, a complete waste of gasoline. By the way... how you liking those gas prices? Pretty grotestque wouldn't you say? It's already 109.9 here in Canada. I remember thinking 103 was high. They say it's going much higher soon. My husband loves it. He works for an oil pipeline company. In the end, it lines his pockets. Sorry it's the truth. Please don't throw flaming bags of poo at my house. I digress: the trip was a waste of over-priced fuel. I reminded myself why I hate the drivers around here - they are idiots. They are practically driving so far up your ass, you feel the need to stop and ask them if they plan on buying me dinner after. But I did arrive at said destination, did the meeting (which was pointless). All we talked about is whether Kierra is saying consonant/vowel words properly, and why she won't go into a public restroom with a self-flushing toilet. Sigh! Educated minds hard at work. On a good note, it was the consensus that she's doing really well, and has been consistent in her progress since she first started up with the Foundation a little over two years ago. Everyone agrees she's always changing in a positive way (tell that to the mom who scrubbed red permanent marker off the same kid three days before). After, I took the kids to McDonalds - that was the highlight of the day since I'm dieting now.

I'm still awake... why am I still awake?????????

Kierra got her first invitation to a birthday party this Saturday. Seems odd to be excited about it, but this is the first time Kierra has gotten invited to a birthday. Usually Jenna is the only one invited. So I'm kinda excited for her! I also took the kids to get their ears pierced last Friday. Jenna has been hounding me forever, and finally we decided "fine let's do it". Karis chimmed in that she wanted some too, so I took all three girls to get their ears pierced. Jenna got hers, and hardly winced. She was very proud. Kierra watched Jenna, and then decided no thanks I'll pass. Karis decided she wanted those earrings, and she got them, along with screaming in my ear for about two mintues after they were finished putting them in. I got the nastiest look from an older woman. You'd think I just branded the child with a cattle prod or something! Sheesh! So Jenna spent the entire day afterwards telling her teacher she was royalty now. Wow - is that all it takes in this day and age? Some purple stone earrings?

I'm slowly becoming delusional with fatigue....

My neighbor keeps asking me how my purse is... like it's a sick child. I get that it's a Louis Vuitton purse, and it's lovely... but why ask me about it every time you see me? She's asked me three times now, "How is the purse?", another day "oh so you are out with your purse huh?" OKAY, it's not like I'm convorting around the City with some hot Italian guy that's not my husband. It's a freakin' purse! I'm starting to avoid meeting her out in the driveways - it's become a source of... well weirdness. I'm begining to think that I'd get less attention if I was carrying around one of those useless teacup dogs around under my arm (which by the way, I totally don't get the appeal of that). Besides, my purse doesn't shit in my house. Case closed - purse wins hands down as preferred accessory. Even so I'm still quite mystified about why so many questions.

Almost ready to go to bed now.....

My husband was kind enough to spring for a plane ticket to go to my brother's engagement social. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept: it's like a social event that charges money for entrance, and for drinks... you booze it up and you exchange nice with other people, and the proceeds go towards the bride and groom's wedding. So this is at the end of April. I'm going alone, since flying with three kids is a waste of money for one week-end. It should be a fun time. Plus, I can poke at my sister's expanding middle.

OK I'm officially done. I don't even think I'm talking clearly at this point. I've forgotten the previous sentence before I even started to write the next. You know you are ready to snooze when it gets to that point. Plus now I have to haul my ass up the stairs.... I wonder if the landing is a comfortable place to crash????

IPP TIME

2008-02-26T08:22:00.002-07:00

It's that bi-annual time of year again.... IPP week for Kierra. Bah - can I just say how much of a love/hate relationship I have with this?

For those of you clueless of what an IPP is, it's basically a fifteen inch thick document that spells out all the goals you have for your child, the areas you want worked on, and how those goals are broken down. It's reviewed once a year, and you rate how far your child has come on that specific goal. If she/he has reached it, you add a new goal, or you modify it. Kierra has this ability to fulfill them before the IPP actually is written out and given to the parent to sign. For her, we have a speech therapist, occupational therapist, a child psychologist, me, a child-developmental specialist and our team leader.

So after about a month of the new team leader trying to convince me to have it at the main office, across the City, at 8:00 am (no dice lady - it would take me over an hour to drive there in rush-hour traffic), we settled for this morning. I don't actually want to go there. In the past they held the meetings at my house. Apparently they don't have the burning desire to impress me anymore, because they are making me haul my three kids and the CDS there instead. That and I can't find my actual IPP copy at home.

It is getting harder and harder every year to think of reasons why Kierra should still qualify for her therapy funding. For PUF (provincial funding), she just has to have documentation that supports that she has a disability. For FSCD, we have to prove she is severe in two or more areas. We are loosing the occupational therapy battle at this point. All we have left to counter-attack with is speech (which is an obvious deficiency) and her behavioral issues (ie: psychology). I had to think of all the ways that Kierra basically.... sucks (for lack of a better word). Nothing more unsettling than picking apart your child's weak areas.

So anyways, we'll be reviewing everything, seeing how she's progressed since August, and where she hasn't progressed much, write another IPP, and go from there. I'll be sure to post how it turns out. But for now, I need to get ready for the dragrace I call the Deerfoot to get to this appointment. Pray for our souls as we drive down this vortex of evil where the concept of braking is obsolete, as is the speed limit.

THE GREAT MARK-UP

2008-02-24T16:26:00.003-07:00

I was on the phone with my good friend Christy when all of a sudden my husband yells in a horrified way that makes mother's think their child is missing a limb from a freak blender accident or decided to drink Draino. Instead I get a horrified, "Help here please!" I go around the corner expecting the worse and what I find is Kierra with red, permanent Sharpie marker drawings all over her face! I must admit, she did a stellar job because she even attempted to make whiskers for herself.

My first reaction is to laugh, (well maybe not my first reaction: my first is to deliver an "upside of the head" smack to my husband who totally freaked me out). So after that initial response, I would choose to laugh - but only until my husband points out she also had taken the liberty of decorating one of my kitchen chairs and the table top. Ok so maybe not so funny now. My third reaction is to grab a baby wipe and try to get this marker off. All this time my friend is still on the phone getting a good laugh at my expense. She has a 18 month old. I nicely remind her that there will be a day HER daughter marks up her face. She referenced that "Friends" episode when Ross writes on Rachel's face with a permanent black marker and she gets back at him the same way.

Anyways, I think for a moment because this baby wipe ain't doing diddly squat. I tried lotion, I tried oil - NADA. I then remember that hairspray will get rid of ink stains from a ballpoint pen, so why not marker? It's a logical assumption. I go and fetch Jarrett's hairspray (I don't really wear any), and we pin her on the floor. Jarrett is fighting off this blonde, red-faced banshee as I scrub her face with hairspray. VOILA! It's successful and after about 15 mintues of defacing her... er um face, she's squeaky clean again. Work of art disappeared! She's not too impressed with us at this point, but honestly who cares? It's either the hairspray or going out in public with red whiskers and everyone pointing and laughing. The table and chair were easily fixed: I did have a Mr. Clean magic eraser handy. MAN THOSE THINGS KICK ASS!! Don't worry - I didn't attempt to use it on my kids face. Not only would I just never do that, but I have a friend who went for a spray tan and it was poorly done.... she used a magic eraser to try to get it off her legs. All she got for her efforts were very badly rashed legs. I mean it DID get it off quite a bit, but I have it on good authority to say the fake tan looked better than her Mr. Clean mangled legs.

You also know I'M the one that got in shit for the marker. My husband says, "Well why was that marker in the drawer?" Say excuse me? WHO was supposed to be watching? And why can't I have a marker in my kitchen drawer (well except for now the obvious answer). After this I can say I did look through all the drawers and pull out anything permanent. No I didn't think to take a picture (I actually thought she'd be sporting her new look for a week). But let this be a lesson to any of you with children: Just because they haven't done it, and you don't think they'd do it - it doesn't mean they won't!

LURKING AND LURCHING

2008-02-21T10:22:00.003-07:00

OK I've noticed that I have a few lurkers that frequent this blog quite often. Now is your chance to introduce yourself and make yourself known! C'mon don't be shy. I promise I won't bite you.

In other news, I decided three days ago that I was sick and tired of being lazy, so I decided to hit my home-gym. Down there I have an elliptical machine, a fancy treadmill I convinced my husband I desperately needed, and a Bo-Flex. Not to mention DVD's on pilates, Tae-Bo, aerobics and anything else remotely "trendy at the time". So the first day I decided to jog a bit, and do some pilates. I did so with as much grace as a hippo getting an enema. BUT I did do it! The next day my inner thighs hurt, and not for the right reasons. So the next day, I run again, and I do much better this time... and then I did about 40 minutes of weight training on the Bo-Flex. I eyed up the elliptical machine and figured, eh I'll get to that another day. This morning I can feel the burn in my legs still from those evil pilates, but I hoist myself on the treadmill, turn up the ipod and give it a go for an hour. I ran about 6 km's in that 60 minutes (which is in hindsight a little over 3 miles). Everything hurts, I refused to do pilates, Bo-Flex and gave the elliptical machine the finger. Ah the quest for better glutes I tell ya.

Don't get me wrong - it's for my own good. I need to stop being the winter hermit I am and repeating "once the snow is gone I'll go running". Well let's be realistic, that's not until May really. So what am I really giving myself? Four months of runable outside weather? Not to mention, I can't control the hills on the real terraine but I sure can on the treadmill. My subdivision is in the foothills so is extremely steep in some areas. Last year it took me a good two weeks of straight running to make it up the hill without stopping, clutching my side and crying on some poor sap's lawn. Not to mention, I don't appreciate having doberman's running after my ass because the guy 6 houses down doesn't believe in tying up dogs.

Anyways, I could use all the moral support you can muster. My husband is supportive in the sense he just likes to see me in those little Nike shorts of mine. That perv. Gives me a creative idea on how to get his lazy butt up off the couch though ;)

HEARING HER VOICE

2008-02-19T14:51:00.004-07:00

It's so funny - I realized that I haven't written a "Kierra" posting in a while. Mostly my entries have been mind-fluff. I mean don't get me wrong - I enjoy writing them, and I like having a humorous side when I write. Life can't always be serious. But lately I haven't been really "down-to-earth" about things rattling around in my mind. Maybe I've been so busy lately, I haven't really let the quiet sink in and let my mind wander round. Yesterday, however, I was able to hear my mind talking to me as I watching my child playing in the playground.

Me and Jarrett took the girls to the park to play. It was a beautiful day with +10 weather! It was like springtime in February!! Snow melting, freshess in the air that you can't help but open up a window and let that sunshine in. So I sat on a bench. Jarrett was pushing Karis on the swing, and she was screaming shrilly on the top of her lungs, "higher daddy higher!" Jenna found a little girl about her age to play with - the two of them running around with pigtails flying out behind them. In all this I scanned the playscapes for Kierra, who I found trying to slide herself up and down this pole, happiest smile on her face. This is a child whose smile could light up anyone's heart. I smile to myself and watch as the sun dances on her hair, giving her this golden halo. I can hear her humming to herself as she often does. I sometimes wonder if this is her way of singing... or is just like a happy reflex; kind of like when a kitten purs? I know it's a happy sound, because I can see the sheer contentment on her face. So lucky to have this feeling. It's a sensation adults seem to lose as responsibilities grow.

Then she picks something off of the ground and puts it in her mouth. I quickly ran over to her, and told her to spit it out - finding that it was only a rock. But then it hits me: my daughter is almost six years old. She doesn't really talk a whole lot outside of the babyish words she's developed in the last year (each one of which I'm terribly thankful for). She does things that are obviously not age-appropriate. And with each passing year, she commands more stares than she used to. People "knowing" now that there is definately something not quite right about my child. And while she is not an embarrassment to me, it still makes me sad. Because the ability for her to live in a life that is veiled is dwindling quickly. It's not about living in denial about the situation though. It's about protecting someone I love. It worries me that I can't always be there to shield her from ignorance. People stare at her, whisper behind our backs. Sometimes I want to lash out and yell at them - to stop making my little girl a source of their conversation. It hurts me because I already see how children avoid her because she's "strange". Birthday party invitations have come home for Jenna, but not for Kierra. Emails asking Jenna over for playdates but never for Kierra to join in the fun. And in spite of it all, Kierra always has her beautiful smile radiating strong. I think she might be stronger than me - my autistic child. These things that weigh heavy on my heart and mind don't seem to hold her down in the least bit. I envy this in her.

It's funny but someone labeled Kierra as a disabled child not too long ago. I understand this term, and I know Kierra is, in fact, disabled. However I still look at that word and think it doesn't belong to Kierra. I have never looked at her autism as a disablity. It's strange because at first I thought it was because I refused to accept it. But now I understand it for being something entirely different. Although other people may see her with the label "disabled" - I refuse to look at her any different than her sisters. Not because I'm pretending there is no difference (there is definately a difference), but because all three of my children are unique. Kierra's autism doesn't make Jenna or Karis more "normal" to me. They are each special in their own little way. Karis is a cuddly little girl, who commands the stage and loves to joke. Jenna is more serious and thoughtful and loves to learn the answers to everything. Kierra is my soulful girl that has more to say about life than she can physically put out there. All I really want in this life is for the world to hear her voice. And while it may mean dealing with people who are to careless to listen; I will always be there to shout to the world for her as long as she needs me to.

No I don't look at my daughter as someone in this world living with a diability. I look at my daughter as someone in this world living. I can only hope other people will take a moment and see this too.

WELL....... DID SHE OR DIDNT' SHE?

2008-02-15T08:30:00.004-07:00

The question burning on your minds (well the less important burning question) is...

DID I GET THE PURSE????

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Now ask yourself, would your husband go through the trouble of getting the box, but put something else in it as a joke? Sounds pretty mean doesn't it? I mean whose husband would do something so cold-hearted and mean?

Not mine, although he actually entertained the idea. He decided against it just in case his valentine went postal and beat him to death with the box. So I was kinda surprised but not totally obviously. But I was because with Jarrett, you never can tell what he's up to! He made the statement "I'll never understand why you love these so much, but I understand why I love you so much"........ and then some comment about not bringing it into the bed with us. He had to admit, he was totally stoked about giving it to me. He knows how long I've been eyeing these, and how much I wanted one. My last attempt was thwarted (I got screwed over by a seller on Ebay), so now I have the legit.

Can I just say I know some of you probably are with my husband... you just don't GET it. That's okay - no one ever claimed fetishes were about common sense. You have to look at it from my perspective. I am a purse junkie. I am not interested in rehab either... I LOVE PURSES!!! As my husband laments, I have a LOT of purses. It's not on the verge of being unhealthy yet, but yeah, it's a lot of purses. Think about fetishes if you will (not the kinky ones... please keep those to yourself). Some people love shoes, others love jewelry (well so do I)... hell some people collect Fabrigee eggs. Me? Purses! This is like the ultimate purse for me!!

While I drift in my euphoria of Louis Vuitton, tell me... what is your passion for? What are you addicted to? I'm sure there are a few of you out there who share my insane addiction. But I'm interested in those other items that you just can't live without (or can't stay away from oogling).

I hope you all have a fab Valentine's Day!!!!!! Much love and hugs wished to you all!

IT'S HERE!

2008-02-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... how sad am I that I'm greatly anticipating Pottery Barn bedding this much? Probably makes you wonder what I'm lacking in other departments in my life. This morning I went to the mailbox to find the little "delivery" flyer telling me my package was here!!! I was a little worried to look to see how much duty I had to pay on it, but it was only $24.00 (I can handle that). I got to the post office, and they gave me this box that resembled something that a suicide bomber would have strapped to him. I mean there was huge gaps in the side of the box, crushed down... tape missing. I instantly though, "Oh great, another purchase from Ebay gone down the shitter". I even went so far as to take pictures of the package exterior before I opened it, in case things had fallen out and I could prove it was because of the shotty packaging.

And you know what? It was actually ALL there and in one piece! I was pretty amazed. Angels sang from the heavens in perfect harmony. I couldn't even wait to get home to see everything. I opened it in the school parking lot while waiting for the twins get be released. My other two friends were just as eager to see it as I was... and we all ooowed and awwwed over the linens like they were made of 18 carat gold or something. This just goes to show you that once you're a mom, things like cute bedding are exciting. I have to admit, it is exceptionally sweet and Karis' room is going to be so pretty!!! Now lies the task of getting everything stripped, painted, put together and tucked in. This will take a month essentially. But hey, at least I have the fitted sheets LOL.

So yesterday I went to a mommy's lunch with three other schoolyard friends. Not friends from my schoolyard days, but rather my twins. We all decided that we should have a lunch together. Three out of four of us had to bring one kid, but actually it was really nice. Considering the other two children were babies ages one month and 6 months respectively. Even Karis was unusually quiet, and just ate and sang the occassional song to a baby. We sat around gossiping and noshing for a good 2 hours, until we realized how long we had actually been sitting there! I have to say it was really nice to just sit and relax and enjoy someone else's company that isn't wearing Hello Kitty all the time. Hopefully we make this a bi-weekly, or at least a monthly thing!

My last story involves my husband who suggested we go look at the Louis Vuitton store at purses. We spent maybe 20 mintues looking through the catalog, asking to see specific handbags and me modeling them for Jarrett. Even the matching wallets were coming out. I half-expected my husband to say "Happy Valentine's Day early - pick which one you like" as did the lady helping us until he said to me, "You know... Valentine's Day is just around the corner". I could've smacked him!!! So am I actually getting the purse? Who the hell knows. Honestly you never know with Jarrett. Why a husband would dangle a coveted purse like that in front of his wife (who considers the LV to be the holy grail of purses) and then not buy it? He has been teasing me since saying the same catch phrase, "... you know Valentine's Day is just around the corner" ever since. Does someone want to hit this man with a rubber hose please?

STALKING THE POSTAL SERVICE

2008-02-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

I have issues (well that was pretty apparent wasn't it? I mean really). But even moreso during the last week. Why? Because I'm constantly stalking the tracking number for a parcel through Canada Post. Actually, I first started stalking it through USPS... THEN once it left the States, I started to follow it like a bountyhunter. I know it left Chicago and went to Mississauga, Ontario. C'mon already!!!!!!

What am I waiting for? Well you'll laugh I'm sure (for many reasons), but I'm waiting for a Pottery Barn Kids bedding set for Karis. Want to hear the story behind it? You know you do, otherwise why on earth would you keep coming back here to hear the deranged ramblings I spew out so sporadically?

I have been hounding the hubby to re-do Karis' bedroom for probably a year now. She's four now, and I thought it was time for her to have a "non-baby" room. Right now it's pink, has ballerina teddy-bears... and very baby-ish. Her bed is technically her crib that converted into a daybed. Which really... not too bad because she's short (she can fit a 2T pant for pete's sakes!), but lately she keeps getting her elbow stucks in the railing side at night, which requires me to haul my sleepy ass out of bed to detangle her at 3:00 am. So I harrassed and harrassed (this technique works wonderfully I might add), and we went out to buy her a bed, and mattresses. NOW, this is where I truly get neurotic... my search for the cutest bedding. I have been scoping out this particular set at www.potterybarnkids.com (it's Alyssa's flower garden), and so once I got the bed on order, I set to getting this bedding for her. I get down to everything and then I'm told they won't send it to CANADA!!!! WTF? Why not? My money is just as good. But no. And we only have three Pottery Barn stores in Canada (all three are in Toronto... why does Toronto need three?). And no, they wouldn't order it for me from the States and send it to me.

I was left with little options. I could have it ordered and sent to my sister-in-laws (who I can't stand). No thanks... I'd rather decorate my kid's room with burlap sacks. I look into having a friend purchase and send it, but it would cost WAY too much after double shipping. Then I go on Ebay (I usually try to steer clear), but I find this woman that actually owns a children's linens business and she happens to have this exact bedding, for about $100.00 cheaper than the website pricing. PERFECT!!! So I buy it, she sends it, and now I'm waiting for it.

The reason why I'm being a total spaz is because I've been burnt SO MANY FREAKIN' TIMES on Ebay. I'd refer you to the illustrious case of the Louis Vuitton purse (but I'm not even going there - it still pisses me off) and the counterfit "Beauty and the Beast" DVD's I ordered (I hope I never get a knock on the door by the Fed's). So hopefully this is legit and my faith in Ebay can be restored. Not only that, I have the whole theme of Karis' room mapped out and all the little things I want to do with it to make it "perfect" (a.k.a my sensationalized version of children's rooms that look like the rooms in the magazines). I have a bit of a problem as you can tell - I'm a decorating freak. I love to make things unique and take a lot of time and put a lot of energy into making it EXACTLY how I want it. For instance, I have already bought a wooden stepstool for Karis (she's short remember) and have hand-painted it to match the bedding and the room theme. See - I told you I have problems!!

Anyways, I have to run.... Hopefully it doesn't come down to my mail carrier filing a restraining order from me. I promise once I get the bedding, I'll get normal as I get again.

TOSS ME A LIFE PRESERVER

2008-02-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

These children are driving me crazy!!!! February is the month of "make your kids stay home from school and drive you batty" month. Don't ask why, apparently there is a need for professional days (I think they are boozing it up at the local bar). Don't get me wrong... I love my kids. But I'm use to having an afternoon reprieve from their constant yelling, fighting, and continuous harrassment of me. Next week, I have a five day stint with them.... alone. If I'm woried now, just think what happens when school lets out in June!!!!!!!!

The other night I had a massage. It wasn't one of those massages you go to because you just like to have some strange person rubbing oil all over you. I'm actually going for massage therapy. Well I don't know how therapeutic it is to be kneeded like a lump of dough to the point you are gritting your teeth in anguish and you can't even keep you feet from flying up off the massage table. My point of excruitating pain in around my shoulder blade (specifically on the right side). This is what happens when you decide against your better judgement to haul 90 lbs worth of kids up a hill in a sled. Not one of my brighter moments let me tell you. As a result, I've seen my chiropractor twice, and now the massage therapist. At one point I could feel her pushing the knot in my shoulder, which was very creepy. I told her it hurt and she said, "Oh I'm trying to pin it against your shoulder blade." LOVELY!!!!!!!!! One hour later, and $75.00 less richer... I can barely move or lift my right arm. She wanted me to go again next week (she's evil!), but she didn't have an evening appointments (damn), so I go again in two weeks. Same time, same channel... and probably the same unbearable pain. I might have to take some codeine first.

In other news, Kierra got this voice assisting box (essentially she pushes buttons and it makes sentences). It was a trial application, and we were very excited to see it. This morning the speech therapist comes, and the woman who is my case worker brings it..... and we were a little disapointed to say the least. It only does 8 pictures per sheet, and only takes up to three sheets. That is only 24 commands... for a child with well over 500 words in her vocabulary. So basically it's useless. We have to talk to the case worker about finding something more Kierra's speed. There is one that is 40 commands per screen, and holds up to 10 scrrens worth. This might be more in her league. Funny thing is the cruddy one was $800.00!!! Eight hundred for 24 phrases? I can't even imagine what 400 is going to cost me. Normally we would wait to get the evaluation, and then assigned one. I found out we can buy one out-right if choosen. I kinda like the free idea better, but the catch is it's 1 - 1 1/2 years of a wait. Sigh.

We have a date night on Saturday, which I'm really looking forward to. I have no clue what we are doing, but am happy at the prospect of going out for a meal that doesn't involve a kiddie menu and my saying "would you please behave yourself" 10001010 times. I'm also trying to convince my husband to take his Feb EDO off one of the days the girls are staying home from school. We tried to strong-hold my mother into coming to visit by waiving a pre-paid airline ticket in her face... and my husband's pressure tactics of saying "c'mon..... I'm booking it right now" but alas, it didn't work out. Crap!

Well, that's about it from me. You might be happy to know I'm not in a perpetual frozen state anymore... we got a chinook and are happily thawed out for the time. Let's hope it stays that way (although highly unlikely). Cheers!

GOOD PLANS UNREALIZED

2008-01-31T12:31:00.001-07:00

For those of you that do not know, this year me and the hubster will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. I know - shocking!!! What's even more shocking is the fact that we are still married. I don't mean this in a mean way like "he's such an asshat", but statisitically speaking, Jarrett and I should have been divorced twice over by now. I'll explain:

Over half of people who undergo infertility end up splitting. It's just one of those sad things where probably one of the people in the couple is having the infertility issue, and the other person can't get over it (ie: a friend of ours couldn't accept never having her own biological children). Instead of drawing each other closer, it can cause a lot of animosity. Lucky for us, we were the ones that supported each other.

Second, over 70% of parents with an autistic child end up divorced. HOLY SMOKES!!! That's pretty bad! I can see it thoug: parents have no time for themselves anymore, the stress of having an autistic child: it's not easy. So far so good with us though.

So here we are - 10 years in and going strong. Got over the "seven year itch" period (LOL), and I think we just may make it. Which brings me to the point of the post. For our 10 year we discussed what gifts we will be bestowing on each other. Jarrett is buying me a three-stone diamond ring and I'm buying him a Rolex watch. Now I've known I'm getting this ring since 9 years ago... lol and the watch he's known about for the past 5 years. So it's not like "surprise guess what I'm getting you". Now for those of you who don't know this.... we have an anniversary sequence of the number 24. We started dating on August 24, got engaged January 24, and got married October 24. And this past January 24 marked the 10 year anniversary of our proposal.

So my husband has been planning the 10 year anniversary for a few years, which involves a kick-ass trip this year plus other surprises I"m not privy to. All I know is, in his words, this year will be "ten months of surprises". OK sounds romantic!!! UNTIL he tells me a few weeks ago, "I had a really good idea of a surprise for you". I say oh what? I'm curious (ok nosey) and so he tells me:

"You know how you know that you are getting the ring for the 10 year? I was going to give it to you on January 24th and re-propose to you."

My jaw drops open, because honestly, this is EXTREMELY romantic and I would have been totally shocked because I wouldn't have expected it. HOWEVER NEVER TELL YOUR WIFE OF THE ROMANTIC IDEA YOU HAD THAT YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH! I mean c'mon guys! Not to mention before he told me this, he took me out to look at actual rings. Not to buy but to check out to get a feel for what I liked. So I got to try on all these sparkly rings (beautiful rings), and then he dangles the prospect in front of me and says "sorry!"

OK before you think I'm completely horrid yes I know I'm still getting it but still... it would've been an awesome story to tell. I mean c'mon admit it!!! He gets partial credit I suppose for the thought. And as he told me "honey it's really the thought that counts".

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA

2008-01-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

Drama... need I really say more? It's part of this all-inclusive package we call life. Honestly, some of it is entertaining, while the rest is stress. And usually I do my best to avoid stress; especially as of late because I've been having physical stress reactions (eg: muscle twitching/spasms).

This past week has me twitching like I'm totally impulse-control free.

So story goes: my brother is getting married in August to this girl. She's fairly nice, and I get along with her relatively well. So she asked if one of my daughters would be a flower girl in the wedding. Sure I say. Emails are exchanged about flower girl dresses, nothing too outlandish. Well my sister's daughter is ALSO a flower girl and I get a call from my sister telling me that the flower girl dresses (which are actually mini-maid dresses) are around $300.00!!!! OKAYYYYYYYYYY back that thing up! There is no way in hell I'm buying a dress that is that much. Not to mention the thing is Harvest Gold (barf) and honestly... it's not like my child will ever wear this thing again.

So I send a very nice, poetic letter to the sis-in-law-to-be pointing out that I don't think the dress A) is appropriate for a six year old and B) it's a little pricey. I wait about four days to hear back and nothing. I'm a little surprised as she's usually prompt with her responses. So I call my mom and ask if she's talked to the two of them to which she replies, "Um Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Apparently after I sent the email, my brother calls my mother blasting her about what is my problem and why is she trying to stress us out? Ummmm excuse me? First off why are you calling up mom and crying to her like a bunch of 5 year olds? If you have issues, call me directly you imbeciles. Second, I read the email to my mom, and she agreed that I wasn't confrontagious or anything. And also, that I had a good point.. to which the reply was it's not like we're going to dress our nieces like hookers OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYY, talk about getting a little carried away with one's self. No one mentioned the words "provocative", "sleazy" or "trampy" - I DID say that I thought the dresses were a little too mature for a six year old. I didn't say she would resemble one of those hooker-esque BRATZ dolls (don't get me started about those things...)

So as of now, they still haven't responded to me, and I talked to my sister who is all riled up and hormonal now about the whole thing, and the fact that she's not included in the wedding (same sister who didn't have me or my brother in HER wedding a mere 5 months ago). Again, my family - drama. Then she starts going off on how she doesn't support this wedding, and that the sis-in-law is just a bitch. I know better to feed into this until she says, "you know she criticizes your parenting".

STOP

What?

I can't help it, I bite and she says that sis-in-law-to-be is always ragging on me and the hubby behind our backs. I ask for specifics and I get some... but to be perfectly honest she does the EXACT SAME THING in reverse with me. So it's not exactly far-fetched. So now I'm a little pissed off on top of it all. Pretty rich coming from a 22 year old that doesn't have kids. That's like Kelly Pickler trying to describe quantum physics. I don't like this little revelation, so now I'm feeling particularly bitchy about the whole flower girl dress/tattle-tale fiasco.

However, not to worry. I'm just ignoring it and going on my merry little way. To me it's not worth starting a whole family feud on, and honestly, it's my brother's decision in the end. However I don't think he'll be getting my sister's vote of support.

FROZEN THOUGHTS

2008-01-29T08:08:00.001-07:00

I'm freezing off my poor, sad Canadian ass off right now. The reason I haven't posted is for fear my fingers would freeze to the keyboard and I would be forever plagued with a keyboards dangling from my fingertips. That's worst case scenario. Low-middle cased scenario, I would only have the keys "D" and "L" stuck to them... and quite possibly the space bar.

IT IS COLD!!!

It was -29 yesterday (without windchill). You factor in the windchill and you get yourself something in the range of -40ish...... that's cold people! I won't do the conversion for the Yanks because A) I suck at conversions and B) my brain is frozen and I couldn't do a satisfactory job at converting it. It's so cold, when I open my kitchen cabinets that are on the exterior wall, cold air comes shooting out of them. I swear I saw a frozen steak behind the dessert plates. It's so cold, I can't even sit in the back end of the house, only the front because that's where the sun beams are located. I'm like some deranged cat trying to find the sunspot on the living room floor. I'm so cold that I'm wearing my housecoat over my clothing, and yes my furnace is working in case you are wondering. I'm a perpetually cold person, and this doesn't help matters at all. The worst part is my husband is out of town on business, and I don't have any food because I was too lazy to get my ass in gear over the week-end.

They also cancelled school... well kinda. Kierra's aide called in sick (she was probably frozen to the tile on her bathroom floor), and the furnace in the classroom couldn't handle the pressure of doing a half-assed job of not freezing 17 five year olds. Their classrooms is one of those satellite classes - you know what I'm talking about. Those sad little buildings in the back of the actual school? So the principal called to see if I still wanted to bring the girls. In a couple of eloquent words? FUCK NO!! So instead I had marathon long-distance phone calls with my mom, made foam valentine bear bookmarks, and looked up my family lineage on ancestry.com.

However, I couldn't avoid the inevitable. I mean I made this nasty can of chicken and wild rice soup for lunch (barf), and had nothing more than that to offer for dinner. So rationalizing this, I decided to whip over to Wal-mart to pick up some stuff, and they also have a handy little McDonald's there I can throw at my kids. Win/Win situation. I bundle them up, strap them in the van, I open the garage door and I swear if garage doors had feelings, this was the saddest door in the City. It creaked like ice was in between the cracks of it. This whoosh of cold frosty air attacked me like a Stephen King murder fog. I raced around the front of the van, jumped in, and thought to myself "what that hell am I doing?" Too late - we are in the van and I'm not getting out. So I drive off and spy my newspaper sitting on the porch (I wouldn't even open the door to get it). Drive around the corner and see drifts of snow on the sides of the road, each with a car stuck in it. Now I don't understand this you see.

A) Calgary is a well-endowed City yet they never have snowplows go down the side roads of sub-divisions at all. They just plow the main roads (aka anything a bus would go down), and screw the rest of us stuck in the back. So there are cars littering the sides of the road now; owners who gave up after they realized that no a smart car can't plow itself through a 5 foot drift of snow. Enough SUV's and pickups forged a little path which I managed to get my van through as well. I get to Wal-Mart and brief the children of the plan. I sounded like a drill Sargent "ok troops, when I open the door, you must evacuate the van immediately! Do not, I repeat do not open your mouth, breathe through your mouth. You will freeze your lungs and I will have to leave you. Do not run into the pile of snow Wal-mart left in the middle of the parking lot for some unknown reason, so you loose a boot. Any boot lost in the snow pile will remain in the snow pile. We will amputate your frozen foot with a fork in the McDonald's. GO GO GO!"

So I ran my poor children for the coldest two minutes in Canada to the store, yelling at them to stop yelling about how cold it is because they start complaining it's too cold (well der). Immediately blast of warm, happy re-cycled contaminated air in the door openings - thaws my insane body. We take our time shopping (no rush to go back out there!). I get what I need (minus the blowtorch that I'll need to get into the frozen van afterwards), and then we go eat. I can see through the windows that there are other people just like me who don't know any better. People slipping in their running shoes they thought could withstand the icy roads. Fools really. I cue up the command start and decide to put all three kids in the shopping cart. I was shocked the greeters at Wal-mart didn't yell at me to tell me this is not a good plan I have. I don't care - three kids pushed by their mom in a shopping cart go a lot faster than said mom dragging three kids through a parking lot. I ran, my kids squealed in delight. I get to the van and apparently my command start didn't activate (piece of crap), and I throw all the children into the van, telling them to curl up in a ball and let their 20 inch thick parkas cushion their fall. Get everyone strapped in, go to back out... and SOME COMPLETE ASSHOLE decides to park behind me in the row across but not pull in entirely! NO he's half-way in the aisle! I'm thinking "I know it's cold but come on!" So I fiddle back and forth to get the van out of the parking lot. If I was one of those road rage people, I would've just backed my way and smashed his Lincoln Continental ass (must've been an old person's car). Got home - my garage door screamed at me again, and got back in the house.

So there you have it. For those of you who live in this country, you feel and share my pain. For those of you who say "Oh Canada's so pretty, I've always wanted to visit" ... yah don't come until the two months of summer okay?

BLACKBERRIES, WHITE HILLS OF SNOW, AND BLUE PANTYHOSE

2008-01-22T18:01:00.001-07:00

I have fully recovered from my internal injuries sustained from the Gymboree expedition last week! Not to mention, I had my daughter's photos done wearing one of the outfits that caused so much bloodshed. The photo shoot was AWESOME. I had a friend who is a photographer take them, and I have to say, she did a wonderful job!!! Not to mention I got a CD of 80 photos that have all been touched up, and she's only charging me $2.00 per sheet I order - WHAT A DEAL!!! Last year I took the kids to Kidsphoto. The sitting fee was cheap, but each sheet was $28.00 (ya you read right - $28.00). HOWEVER, the pictures were phenomenal. Besides, I was sick of the slack-jawed yokels at Wal-Mart who barely even knew how to center a picture, or the teenagers at Sears who seemed more interested in text messaging than taking a picture. Anyways, I will post a few of those new pictures.

Friday, Jarrett surprised me with a new Blackberry to replace my own cell phone. The battery was dying on it, and you know, it's always nice to have something that is so complicated you can't possibly figure it out on your own. I have managed thus far to put in addresses, phone numbers and fill up my calendar. I was pretty happy to get it though. Although my hub's jokingly tells me I'm turning into one of those text-nerds that gets carpel tunnel's from trying to spell with those tiny keys. So what? I guess he doesn't like my claw-like hands?

This past week-end, me and the hubs went out on our first date since August. We finally got a respite worker to replace Sara, our last one who left the Province in hopes of full-filling her dream of owning her own clothing store. Alas, this left us in the lurch, since we aren't exactly going to have a thirteen year old come and babysit for us. Cue Deanna, who actually was Kierra's old case worker. She's decided to pick up some respite hours on the side, so we were more than happy to snap her up!!! So we went out, ran some errands, went perusing at a jewelry store for my 10 year anniversary band (just to give hubby an idea), and then out for a spectacular dinner. I had a Bellini, calamari, and this chicken with Bearnaise sauce, asparagus and scallops. Not to mention this dessert which was best described as an orgasm on a plate, covered with almonds. Seriously - it was THAT good!

Sunday, we decided to brave the cold mountain weather, and bundled up the kids to go sledding. Things we learnt? 1) Bundling up kids is time consuming, but even harder when you are trying to belt them into a car seat. 2) Just because your kids have snow pants on, the warmth of them doesn't miraculously offer you any protection as you wear a pair of work-out pants and a pair of sweats over top. 3) It's funny as hell to watch your one kid ditch the other to pull the sled up the hill. 4) It's not so funny when you have to pull your kid up the hill ON the sled. And last but not least 5) When two parents go down on the same sled you are going to go REALLY fast, hit bumps exceptionally hard, and your husband is going to pull the same number as your youngest and ditch you to pull the sled up the hill. The kids were tired out, which was part of the plan.

Monday, I did my first in-class volunteer at the twins kindy class. Usually I'm the annoying person that calls the other parents to tell them to get their asses in there and put in the time they PROMISED on the blue sheet I have on my desk. Well I got an offer to watch Karis, so I went in. It was interesting to say the least. I was surprised to see how well Kierra really does sit and listen... if only she did that at home LOL. But it was kind of neat to see how she acts in a classroom. Apparently she put on a show for me, because she was doing things she normally doesn't do. Nothing bad mind you, but the teachers were amused at her change in demeanor. In the evening, my husband made me get out of my bed because of his constant bitching about not having any navy dress socks. I told him yes he does. He goes on and on, incessantly about it (I think he inherited this trick from the mother-in-law). So I get out of the bed, look in the drawer as he goes downstairs to the laundry room still complaining in an obvious loud voice. Sure as shit what do I find? THREE pairs of navy socks. I go to the landing and yell down "Way to look dear! What's this? Why it's NAVY socks" (and muttered dumb shit under my breath). Too bad the house has really good acoustics. Oh well. Don't get me out of bed for socks that are in plain sight. So he looks at them and declares that they are black. No they aren't. I put them up against black pants. He then says "these aren't socks, they are pantyhose". Um huh? He says they are too thin, these are pantyhose. OK, first off, they aren't pantyhose. They are men's dress socks. They are thin but they aren't made by Secret. My mother bought them for him for Christmas for his stocking, and I KNOW my mother would not buy him panty hose. So I tell him, look either wear the socks, or don't wear his navy suit tomorrow and wear the tan one. He says fine, he'll wear the blue ones but he still thinks they are panty hose (sure ok dear).

After lying in bed in the dark I can't help myself and say, "You know, you might get that promotion if you let your boss get a gander at your lady hose". ROFL - I'll be surprised if he actually wore them today (he leaves at 6:30am, I'm not even up so I'm not going to look at the man's feet). And tonight, I'm going to treat myself to an one-hour massage! AH I can't wait! I'm just waiting for my hubby to get home (with his pantyhose) so I can go! Wish me relaxation vibes!

REFEREE AT GYMBOREE

2008-01-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

HOLY CRAP!!! I just got back from what could be nothing less described as complete pandemonium. I'm lucky I made it out of there alive, and I believe I will be later dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder!

I'm speaking of the first day of "Gymbucks" at Gymboree. Those of you that have never experienced this... HA you call yourself a warrior? I'm talking thrashing through hoards of crazed women, waving their blue and green Gymbucks in the air, and grabbing virtually anything that has a sale tag on it! I mean the funniest was the lady with the 3 week old baby - she's buying size 7T jeans and 3T shirts. I'm sorry, is it so much a deal that you're willing to buy them 3-7 years in advance? I mean, I'm sure they'll have Gymbucks in the future.

I took Karis with me, and I'm shocked I didn't loose my third-born in the wave of shoppers. I kept her close to me, trying to make it to sections of the store, unsure if I'd ever see the light of day again. I couldn't help myself - they had the cutest little blue tulip dress and matching sweater in Karis' size. It wasn't even on sale for God's sakes, and I was still fighting with some top-heavy broad with 12 coats-to-many of mascara and a cheap-ass hair extension. Tip: if you are going to weave fake hair onto your hair, make sure the quality is a little better looking than horse hair... I mean c'mon! One woman just stood there as I was pinned into the corner by the little floral print dresses, refusing to move. I was ready to tell her Karis had explosive diarrhea... until she finally made eye-contact with me and rolled her eyes and moved over.

After I finally got my selections (which were hard to find seriously - the store was picked over already and it was only 4 hours into the first day), I made my way to the end of the line, which was approximately 10 people long already!! At first I felt like saying screw it and just leave, but then I thought if I came back A) these items would more than likely be gone, B) I didn't just get elbowed in the head to leave without my bounty and C) I already drove out there and I sure the hell wasn't going to go back! I had $250.00 worth of Gymbucks for pete's sakes! So I waited, and waited... and waited some more, finally making it to the counter. I slapped it all down, as I heard one of the cashiers mutter, "I hate Gymbucks". Amen sister!! She rung in my purchase (which totalled about $500.00 - but remember the Gymbucks) and I go to whip them out and low and behold - I forgot them at home!!!!!!!

Just kidding! Wouldn't that have been hilarious? Seriously - I mean in a mean, twisted sort-of-way I think you started to smile didn't you? No I had them with me and got my $250.00 discount on all the cutest clothes you could imagine. The chick next to me only had $50.00 - I think she was waiting to see if I would have an extra I wasn't using. Sure - and you can pay me $10.00 for every $25.00 coupon I have!! HA - I'm not giving those away!!! So purchase completed, and I swear to God, and this is no lie, the cashier gets a box of white Glad garbage bags out, and puts my purchases into the garbage bag! I look at her with a "are you facking kidding me?" amazed expression, and she says "Oh well we don't' have any more large bags... it's either this or 8 of the tiny bags". So basically my choices are numbered to carrying insanely stuffed, multiple bags or one white garbage bag. I say fine, give me the garbage bag (without handles either you know!), and leave the store embarrassed beyond belief because I look like some strange beggar woman trying to pay for clothes with pop cans at Gymboree.

Anyways... any of you that are planning on braving this event I have some tips for you. Bring water (it's hot in the stores), bring earplugs (lots of babies screaming with mother's just trying to find 2-3T socks), and a tazer (because some of those bitches shopping just need a good jolt!). Happy shopping!

P.S. This Hannah Montana song is dedicated to Karis - because she claims it's "her song" and she does a pretty good dance to it. I'll have to post the video when I have the time - it's a hoot!

NOT A HAPPY DAY

2008-01-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

Mostly because I took Kierra for her first wart freezing session, and it was horribly difficult to be there for!!! I used this cream that supposedly is supposed to freeze the area. I don't know if it just didn't work, or if it did but it wasn't enough, because Kierra screamed like someone was torturing her!! It took two full-grown adults to hold her down, plus the fact that she was kicking me in the neck the entire time! She kept yelling "mommmm!" and "it hurts" - I just wanted to kick the doctor, pick up my kid and run out of there!!

At the end, she was pretty pissed at Dr. D so I had to apply the band-aid myself, and then when we got to reception, she yelled "LOLLIPOP" at the receptionist LOL. They told her she could have two. I told her I'd take her to Burger King. Fun part is I get to do this again in 10 days. *Sigh* this sucks.

We decided to enroll Karis for Kindergarten this fall. We think that if she can't handle it within the first month, we'll pull her out and enroll her the following year. Makes sense. Even Kierra's psychologist told me that she thought Karis could handle it. I do appreciate all the feed-back I got though - thanks!

We have a date night scheduled for Saturday. We haven't had once since August, because our respite gal moved away. I finally found someone - actually she knows the family, the kids and used to be Kierra's team coordinator. So it works out perfectly. We're going to look at three houses, then do some shopping, and go out for dinner.

Other than that, not much else going on. I'm waiting for tomorrow because that is when I can spend the $250.00 Gymboree Gymbucks I have. Sad I know but I'm not letting those babies go to waste!!!!!!

TTYL!

LIKE DANGLING A CARROT IN FRONT OF YA

2008-01-13T23:08:00.001-07:00

How was your week-end?

Mine... was a great lesson in "why you should never look at things you can't possibly afford". You know I'm going to start where I left off on my last post dontcha? Houses... or more correctly said... a new house.

Ah yes, so last time we spoke I told you a tale of how much my husband was interested in looking at a new house. He shows me one in particular, and we decide to take a drive out to check it out. Now most people would think to make an appointment with the realtor of this property. My husband? No... he thinks we should just check out the area. This line of thinking never works. Why? Because once you get there, you actually want to SEE the house. Not do what we did... which was skulk around the perimeter and peer into windows like a bunch of yuppie burglars. I mean seriously - I'm sure the locals were looking at us and wondering who the dude in the Docker's and the chick swearing about her new leather boots getting dirty were. That'd be us - complete nerds. Not to mention the van full of kids watching "Toy story" on DVD in the driveway. We locked them in there - no worries. Don't report our asses to CFS. You just don't drag out three children into a yard that hasn't even been landscaped just so you can spy into what seemingly was a pretty nice house.

Since we were there, we did decide to hit a few open houses. To get a feel of the builder's out there. There is really only five major ones, and they each have their own flavor. So we go to one, which was really nice but entirely too small (one bedroom on main floor, and two in the basement? no thanks). After we go to this house that I SWEAR TO GOD, has ruined me forever. Why? Because it was perfect, and awesome, and beautiful, and wonderful and delightful... and it was also $1.5 million dollars. The worst part was absorbing every feature in that house, and saying "OMG a hundred and fifty times". Seriously... walk in the entry and I'm OMG! Go into the master suite OMG..... master bathroom a MAJOR OMG!!! I mean seriously, this house was so nice, it makes mine now look like a freakin' hovel. We talk casually to the realtor there and when she says the price, me and Jarrett start to laugh. She looks confused (she should think so; we are not in the right house obviously). I gaze adoringly at the sub-zero, brushed stainless steel double fridge, and OH the beautiful stove and gorgeous granite countertops... and the Bosch dishwasher (wait I have one of those) - and sigh. Jarrett explains we are looking $900,000.00 to 1.1 and nothing more than that. Realtor says, "What's an extra $400,000.00?" Um the difference between my family eating, and being featured in the local paper as family of five resorts to cannibalism after going house poor.

OK and before people go all crazy and think "holy shit seriously - did they rob a bank" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't forget where I live and the property values. This same house in say.... Houston, TX would probably only be $500,000.00 and my house now would be around $250,000.00. It's all relative. Here, you don't get the Playboy Mansion for a couple million. You get yourself a five bedroom house, that is around 4,600 sq feet. With lovely, lovely, lovely kitchens. And no fake hooter chicks.

In any case, the experience marred me. Why? Because anything else I look at now will be compared to the can't have house. I know it's horrible but how can you not? Unless we win the lottery (which we didn't - we checked our numbers), it's just not happening any time soon. But we haven't given up on the idea of moving out to this area. Because in spite of it all, it was extremely peaceful, the yards were large, and it was just relaxing!! Plus the view of the mountains were just wonderful. It renewed my interest in why I was trying to build a house out in that surrounding area last year... that is until Peter the Prick Contractor skewed my interest (jerk). In fact, I happened to notice that they poured the foundation on the lot we were going to build on, and I'm pretty sure it's the same foundation for the same house I actually designed myself (jerk).... that jerk. Still bitter? Just a tad.

And of course, once we got home we decided to make a list of all the things we had to do to this house before we could even put it on the market. My list contains 36 items. This sounds like a lot. Some of the chores are more cumbersome than others... but most of them are those little nit-picky things you just don't get around to because you just don't feel like being bothered. Like in the gym "fill in the nail holes on baseboards". Seriously not a big task but eh... I don't feel like it. "Fix the small hole in the entryway in the hardwood that your kid's therapist made"... yeah haven't done that either. I will say since she did that, she went on Jenny Craig and lost about 90 lbs.... plus the 5 wooden vent covers she stepped on and broke. Gotta replace those too (I just tried to re-glue them best I could). But our game plan is simple... go back to the house we didn't have access to today (the one we stalked), and if we like it, we get our house ready to list and go from there. Plus I told Jarrett he'd better make sure his company isn't planning on transferring him to freakin' Oklahoma this year or something. The fact that he had to re-order business cards for the same position is a dead giveaway this is possible (he's never been in the same position long enough to ever have to do this). That and the fact that we finished out our house. Every time we do that - BAM we get re-located.

Hopefully next week-end I'll shed some light onto this on-going pursuit of housing.

IMPULSIVE PRE-BUYING

2008-01-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday had great potential to be expensive. My husband thanks the cosmic forces that his wife had great impulse control. I don't think the cosmos had anything to do with it... all I had to do was envision the look on my husband's face when he walked in the door.

What could I be talking about?

One word: puppy.

Ok Ok, one wonders what the hell kind of dog would cause the good people at Mastercard to smile in delight. Well - a purebred yellow lab puppy worth $980.00. Don't look so shocked. I mean really - it was a very cute puppy and besides that - it's not like I bought her. But it has been a year since my sweet chocolate lab Roper passed away, and today actually would have been his 8th birthday. I miss him a lot, and I miss him even more whenever I see someone walking down the sidewalk with a happy brown, furry fellow. Labs have this incredible humanity about them. They actually think they are people, at least Roper did. And they have this way of "smiling" when they are happy. Yes they have the biggest ole lips around, they sag, and they slobber. But you always can see a lab smile. I miss Roper's smiles.

So of course I pried myself from the automatic doors of Petland and ran myself to the van and drove away; telling myself "Jarrett will kill you!"

That evening I couldn't help it. Well yes I could, because Karis bluntly announced, "Daddy we went and saw yellow puppies today!" SIGH - so much for my suave introduction to the topic of dogs. Jarrett gives me this look, and I smile and look down at the granite counter tops, tracing swirls of stone with my fingertip. He says,

"So ... what's up with that?"

I tell him innocently enough that we were just near the pet store because I had to buy new boots (by the way, he never asked me how much I spent on the new, beautiful brown leather boots - because he was too distracted by the dog-issue! HA!). So we popped in to see "all the animals" and they just "happened" to have yellow labs there. He asked me a few questions and then asked how much. He just about choked on his salad. He studies me for a moment and says, "So are you thinking about buying a dog?" I told him well I would, but I know he doesn't think we should. Our yard is way too small after all. I blurt out "Well I wasn't going to go behind your back and buy it!"

"I never said you would, I was just asking if you were thinking that you wanted to buy a dog".

I start to load dishes into the dishwasher and say well yes, now that a year has gone by since Roper died, I have opened myself to it again. Before I didn't think about it too much, it hurt still alot. Of course I start to cry - SHEESH!! Nothing more attractive than said housewife blubbering over the utensil tray. By the way, this is not a tactile maneouver to get what I want. I get emotional a lot, and start to bawl. It's horrible really; I get all blotchy and stuff. He tells me that he wouldn't buy one from Petland, they are over-inflated in their prices, and that he'd buy one from a local breeder. Which prompts us looking on-line at local breeders. No we didn't put in an order LOL. But it brings me to the next topic of the evening... our house.

Jarrett tells me that we don't' have the room for a dog right now. I know he's right. He says that he wishes when we were going to build, that we had just built in Montero Lakes, same area different location of the "house from hell that never did get built". I say well it's too late for that now, because of the housing market (give you an idea, I bought our house for $400,000.00 and it's now worth $725,000.00 two years later). He says, "Wellllllllllllllllll........"

HA he's sneaky too people because he goes into his brief case and pulls out this housing listing IN Montero Lakes. He shows me this house listed, that has a huge yard, is bigger than ours... and about 200 G more than ours. I smile at him and say "yeah?" We go online, and look at it. Of course it is gorgeous. It's brand new, never lived in. And he suggests we take a drive out there this week-end to "check out the area". Then says, "oh then we could have a dog". Now I don't know about you, but I think my fantom dog set the ground work for him to bring up a new house!! He was just bidding his time this guy! Next thing I know he whips out his calculator (that's not a metaphor, it really was his calculator) and starts figuring out how much the mortgage would be - which only turns out to be an extra $500.00.

So, am I getting a dog and a house? Oh who knows! I mean with us you can never tell. Things we do are outlandish, and not exactly pre-planned too often. We aren't impulsive, but we go with the flow. When opportunities present themselves, we are always willing to explore the possibilities. Anyways, I'll keep you all up-dated on the whole dog/house conundrum.

KIDS DO AND SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS

2008-01-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

I have to tell you all this one, because I just about bust my gutt laughing over it.

I was at the chiropractor's this afternoon with Karis. She's been with me a few times, so I didn't really think anything of it. Dr. M was massaging out my neck and Karis asked him who he was and what he was doing. He explained to her that he was trying to fix the muscles in mommy's neck to which she said VERY loudly,

"Why are you feeling up my mommy?"

Stunned silence followed by a brief look at each other of "ummmmmmm" and then I did what anyone else would do, I started to crack up laughing to break the tension. Of course Dr. M laughed too and I quipped, "Well at least she said it here and not to my husband later". Kids - honestly they really do say the worst thing at the worst time.

In other news... I noticed the other day that Kierra was picking at her foot and went to see what the hubabub was about, and she had this really gross open sore on the underside of her middle toe. In fact it look like the skin was dug out and was very fleshy (sorry graphic, gross and possible vomit-a-la-mouth). I was disturbed because A) it was very deep and B) I wasn't sure what caused it. So being the wonderful mom I am, I took her to my doctor who looked at it. He frowned and told me he thought it might be a wart that split open. Didn't know that could happen, and really I was shocked he thought it was a wart. He said it wasn't infected (which is good), and that he wanted to do three sessions of freezing it. Well see here's my problem. I'm not sure it's a wart because he didn't even sound convinced. And I really don't want to do this to her skin if I don't have to. I obviously don't have a medical degree though, so I have to rely on him. My mom said possibly Kierra was picking and digging at it, and that she picked out most of it. The only part I could see is that it looked very calloused around the edges. Well I have to take her starting next week. I'm sure it will be traumatic.... for her too.

In other traumatizing news... I called around to find a pre-school for Karis for the fall where I was informed that she could actually be enrolled for Kindergarten! KINDERGARTEN??????? Apparently as long as she is four years old before March 1, 2008 - she can start Kindy this fall. Now I thought I had another whole year before I had to think about this. I mean I thought she'd start in 2009. And of course I'm conflicted as to whether or not I should send her? Do I think she can do it? Yes. Do I think she's ready to be separated from me? I hate to admit it but yeah - she's not clingy or "my mommy". She is independent and wants to do what the twins are doing. I'll admit I'm a little depressed about it. This is my baby!!!!!!!!! Enrollment starts next Monday. I'm sure to be brewding about it all week.

So anyways, that is my last few days worth of happenings. One would hope that next week will be a bit better, however considering we are freezing off warts... I wouldn't exactly count on it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARIS!

2008-01-07T00:22:00.000-07:00

OMG - I have to pinch myself to the point I have to slap myself to stop the pinching... my BABY IS FOUR YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!! How can this be? Didn't I just spend last week complaining, "Is this kid ever going to get out of me?", "Jarrett seriously, I can't get my panties on - you need to help me..." and "why the hell did I agree to an elective c-section tomorrow morning?"

Yeah this is me one week before my bundle arrived (and when I was the hugest pain in the ass to walk the face of this earth barefoot and pregnant.

Fast forward (very fast forward) four years and now I'm looking at a chipper little girl with big brown eyes, funky pigtails and an insane adoration for Hello Kitty. My baby isn't a baby anymore. What makes it even more clear is the fact that I went through her closet and found actual baby blankets on the top shelf that she hasn't been swaddled in for over three years. SIGH - they still smell like Dreft baby detergent.

Funny thing is Karis should have never existed. I don't mean that in a mean "man you were an accident" way. Seriously, we were told we had about a 7% chance of ever naturally conceiving. So basically - don't expect too much. We did the IVF and all that fun stuff, got the twins - and figured perfect! Who knew when we celebrated their first birthday I'd have a 2 months worth of gestating bundle in my tummy? I was so shocked that when the pregnancy test turned positive, I turned white, yelled "holy fuck!" and ran out of the bathroom with my stunned husband staring at the little pee stick. And don't get me wrong, after the shock we were ecstatic! I mean never in our wildest dreams did we ever think I'd ever have another baby. I mean we choose to drop the birth control when the twins were 9 months and said "we'll leave it in God's hands". We just didn't think God would throw us a bone two months later! But I always refer to Karis as one of my miracle babies. Sure she wasn't the result of years of fruitless attempts at conceiving, or incessant needles in my backside, and surgeries and anything else sterile you can think of. But she was still my 7% miracle baby that decided to prove to me that sometimes life is full of surprises. It was no wonder my 7% was born on the 7th.

Am I sad? Yeah - nostalgic too. I was looking at her first year photo album and remembering all the funny little things she used to do. Like: she was such a sweaty baby that every time I breastfed her, the side of the head resting on my arm was completely soaking (as was my sleeve), that she used to try to suck Jarrett's face all the time, that she held her hair when she had enough to hold onto... I MISS those things. But you know, for all that I miss, I look forward to even more. First days at school, first sleep-overs, first ...... well we'll skip the traumatized mommy teen years. Let's just hope she'll be a little better-behaved than I was.

So this week-end we had the big party. Hello Kitty (shocked aren't you?), and it was a huge success. Child got so much Hello Kitty, I feel I should own 50% stock in that company. She is constantly telling me that she's growing (even though she still has 3T pants that are too long for her - she inherited MIL's stubby legs). Today is the actual day though, and it's bittersweet for sure. The only thing stopping me from crying my eyes out is how apparent it is that she still needs me. She still needs mommy when she's hurt, she still needs mommy to help her wipe her bum (lol well that's not my hi-light), and she still just needs mommy. What else can you ask for on your daughter's fourth birthday?

WHEN 2008 STARTS OFF A LITTLE "OFF"

2008-01-04T16:37:00.000-07:00

First... Happy New Year to all!! Hope you had fun ringing in the New Year, and sending out the old in style!!!

Me? I spent it with an incurring migraine headache. Yeah I know - my cranium sucks. Thank the Lord above for the bounty of which is Axert. Without it, I might be functional the next day, but in a lot of pain. Instead, I get to walk around in the cloud defined best as medhead, but hey - at least I can stand the light of day. Just so you don't feel completely sad for me, I treated myself to a massage for one hour today. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also, there is the potential of a family feud to start up in any given moment. Not MY family - we are talking about those in laws of mine. Let's just say they did something rather stupid, thoughtless and ignorant last summer and it's finally caught up to them. The key player being one of his sister's who innocently sent hubby an email asking if he was mad at her, because if so, she was sorry. HOWEVER, she had no clue what he could be mad about. Here's a clue dumb shit: you purposely didn't bother to invite your own brother to your baby's baptism because of something that happened 3 years ago (which you never had any business getting mad about in the first place). WE figured it out ourselves the week-end before the event, but no one told us anything, has mentioned anything about it... just went on their business. His parents don't even mention her name during the weekly phone call (probably because it gives us a window to bring it up). Instead, we decided to let the issue of how big of assholes they all are to twist in the wind a little; why bring it up? Instead it's been rather amusing watching his family dance around it so as to not cause a controversy. I guess this is what happens when the best laid out plans aren't so best laid out. We have made a point of not calling her (she's not called us either) since August. Jarrett figured she can call him if she has something to say. I guess she had nothing to say (or was scared of a potential confrontation). So when his mom on Christmas Day asked if Jarrett wanted to talk to his sister, and he said "no that's okay" - this started the ball rolling so to speak. It started with "did you two have a falling out" to Jarrett's non-commital answer, and then to his sister sending him an email to his work (he's been off since the 21st) to ask him what's up. So far he hasn't even replied to her email asking if he's mad.
I'm sure this is driving her insane - as she knows he opened the email because she gets a notice when her emails are opened. Asking my husband why he hasn't said anything yet, he replies with a smile "I just don't feel like it". Lordy - you know this is going to get very ugly, very quickly.

The thing that intrigues me is HOW IN THE WORLD she can't think this would cause a problem? I honestly don't know if they haven't figured out that we KNEW ALL ALONG about this baptism we weren't invited to. Maybe she didn't want to bring it up as a possible "pissy factor" because she's not sure if she'll be putting something out there that we weren't aware of. Or maybe she's just ignorant. Or maybe she just doesn't feel sorry at all about it. I'm going with either option 1 or 3. In any case, she won't be getting off scott free by the time Jarrett is done with her. The worst part is his whole family obviously knew about it, because NONE OF THEM said anything to us about this baptism either. Bad mistake in our books. It's essentially admitting to choosing sides to something that is utterly ridiculous.

ANYWAYS.... as you can see, my family issues are already prevalent so little into a new year. At least I'm not in Britney Spears' shoes (ugh she's got issues), but here's to hoping for better, and happier, things to come.

RECOVERING FROM THE HOLIDAYS

2007-12-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

WHEW!!!!

What else can you say after you are hostess with the mostest during the Holidays? I must admit I had a wonderful time!! My family all got in on the 22nd. My brother and his fiancee got in a little earlier than anticipated. They were at a party until 2:00 am and decided why bother going home to bed, so they left their house at 3:00 am and got to our house around 4:30 in the afternoon!!! Good thing they called to let us know... I would've still been in my jammies and my funky ass ponytail washing bathrooms!!!

The girls were very happy to see the relatives. Karis got to bunk with the twins in their bedroom - which was interesting. Jenna kept crying because Karis wouldn't shut up for her to fall asleep. At one point I went up there and Karis was standing beside Jenna's pillow yelling her name in her face. The threat of no Christmas presents gets kids to go to bed pretty well though.

Christmas Eve we had our family's traditional fondue night!! We tucked the kids in bed, and then gorged ourselves. We did the meat fondue (chicken, steak, pork and shrimp) and then we did a chocolate fondue for dessert! YUMMMY!!!!!!!! Christmas morning, we spent the first part watching the girls go totally berserk opening their gifts. My kids are in one word... spoiled!!!!! They got so much stuff, it's obscene. However, Kierra did get her beloved pink laptop computer from Santa. She was so happy, she just sat there all day playing ABC games. Everyone was excited to get their gifts! Then the adults go to open theirs. We all know that I knew what I was getting (the diamonds) so I tried to feign surprise but of course it wasn't exactly believable. LOL. Hey - a girl has gotta try. Instead I listened to my SIL complain to my brother that SHE wanted what I got. Sheesh!! I got a lot of nice things though.

Christmas dinner consisted of my husband trying to smoke a turkey in his stainless steel,kick-ass smoker from hell. Me.... I just baked a spiral ham and did everything else including getting hassled from my SIL about my cranberries. I make my own (non of that gelatinous goop from a can). I wouldn't give up my recipe because I do a few things to it no one else does. Everything turned out good though. We then had a discussion about the origins of my maiden name. My brother insisted it was French, and we all said no, it's Scottish. It became quite the debate I must say. Then we had a friendly game of family poker. LOL my mom was drinking punch and Grey Goose vodka, my bro and SIL drinking some white chocolate liqueur from Godiva.... so it was interesting. At one point I got out the video camera to videotape my mom (who barely ever drinks) because she was doing the Ghost of Christmas Past voice to my husband... who apparently is evil for taking all her poker chips! CLASSIC CHRISTMAS I TELL YA!!!!!!

They all left yesterday, to which I'm sad. I hate it when everyone leaves at once. The house feels so lonely and empty. Plus both Jarrett and Karis got bronchial infections (joy). Between listening to my beloved complain profusely about his sore chest (not too sore he didn't abandon me to go play in a poker tournament with his buds and then go to Ruth Chris's for steak), and my 3 year old hacking up a lung like a coal miner - it's been good. My hubby has up to January 7th off - so this will be a nice time for family bonding. Hopefully we'll hit the resort and go sledding or something.

Anyways, hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!! The best to you all!

GOOD TIDINGS... OR IS THAT JUST GOOD TIDE?

2007-12-19T16:00:00.001-07:00

I am back, I am well... after almost two weeks of being miserably sick. My husband tells me I'm one of the poorest excuses for an immune system. Perhaps he is right. Or perhaps it's impossible to get better when you are running around, barely resting... and having a man nagging you constantly about seeing a doctor. BUT I can finally breathe easy... literally.

Which leads me to my next topic: washing clothes. I have decided that A) I have wayyyyyyy too many articles of clothing (is 20 pairs of jeans too many?), B) I'm horrible about putting things back when I try them on, even when they are clean and C) I really need to stay ahead of the game when it comes to laundry. I'm thinking all columns apply to me. I've spent most of my day organizing my insane closet, sorting loads of laundry, washing and hanging them back up again. And yes, I'm ashamed to admit MOST of them are my clothes. SIGH!!!! Not to mention the stupid sweaters I have that have to be laid flat to dry. I need a runway from our local airport just for this purpose.

In cute news... I attended the girls very first school Christmas concert this morning. It was sweet! Kierra actually participated in the songs, trying to sing as best as she can, and ringing her jingle bells with all her might. Jenna kept looking at us reassuringly that we thought she was doing a good job. She spent all of this week lamenting about being nervous about her performance. You'd think she was the star at Carnegie Hall or something. But she did do well - and we were very proud. Me being the total doofus I am, forgot to charge the video camera until one hour before having to leave, so I had to clear off my digital camera to do video clips. I literally ran out of battery juice when the last song ended (good timing!). I promised Jarrett I would charge the video cam for Christmas.

I've also determined that children will always pick a birthday party theme that is difficult. Case in point: Karis is a total Hello Kitty fanatic. I mean it's borderline obsession with her. I can't find ANYTHING remotely party-ish so I'm going to have to make all the decorations. I did manage to pick her up Hello Kitty p.j's, a purse, necklace, books, chapstick and hair things for her birthday. She'll be four years old in the begining of January. MY BABY!!!!!!

I do have family coming down on Saturday until the 27th. My mom, dad, bro and his fiancee. My sister and her family decided they couldn't come (which actually is probably better in the long run). I should also note that I will be an Aunt once again (I can't remember how many nieces or nephews I now have). My sister (same one) is expecting in August. She's a little hormonal, irrational and annoying right now. I'm trying to be sensitive as you can see.

So that's about it. I'm doing lame things like organizing a pantry so my mom doesn't raise her eyebrows when she comes. LOL you gotta love the moms!!!

WHEN NASAL SPRAY ATTACKS AND YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM DOESN'T

2007-12-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

BLAH!!! That is the only way to adequately describe how I feel right now. My taking the Cold FX pills only warded off the inevitable it seems. Friday my immune system went on strike and let all the little bad germs take over. Alas - to think I wouldn't get sick was too good to be true. Case in point, I spent most of my week-end sniffling and complaining as a man would. How embarrassing to admit!!!

Saturday, I literally stayed in my pajamas ALL DAY! That's right - I'll admit it and I'll you something else - I'd do it again! This isn't to say that the bed and the jammies united all day. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO my friends. Instead I cleaned the kitchen, dusted, cleaned the floors and did four loads of kid laundry. I may wear jammies, but that doesn't make me lazy. Or does it....

Sunday I stayed in bed until 11:00am. I woke up, ate some soup, crabbed a bit, and then went for a nap from 1:00-3:30. After that, I FINALLY took off the jammies (remember I'd been wearing them since Friday night), got dressed, and Jarrett took us all out for dinner. After, came home, put kids to bed, got back in NEW jammies, and sat around waiting to take Nyquil and go to sleep.

I have made a few observations during my week-end. 1. Nasal spray sometimes hurts more than it helps. I took my Dayquils and in spite of them, still couldn't breathe through my right nostril. So Jarrett tells me to use the nasal spray. I do and I swear to God I thought my head was going to spontaneously combust!!! BURNT LIKE HELL!! I'm swearing, I'm rocking on my heals, my eyes are watering and he asks me, "What is your problem?" What is my problem?? My cheek to my eye socket is burning in the ravaging pits of hell!! He asks me if I can breathe. Seriously? Well actually yes, but every breath feels like my nasal cavity is burning into my brain! 2. Nyquil is wonderful but the medicine head the next day is like a proverbial hangover. Why can't they make a wake-the-hell-up pill that accompanies this? They now have those hangover pills (no I don't take them!). I'm thinking can't they make something like that for us poor people who are walking around like drug-induced zombies the next day? 3. When husbands say to you, "But you slept all day, how can you be tired" do they just forget how THEY feel when they are sick? Seriously guys. I mean everyone knows when you are sick, the quality of your sleep is pretty sub-par at best. I mean between getting up to blow your nose, getting up to realize you can only breathe through your mouth (lest the dreaded burning nasal spray), getting poked at by your significant other because you can't breathe and you are snoring (ah poetic justice if you ask me!)- you aren't exactly sleeping beauty. How can I be tired? I'll remember that line the next time you are sick dear.

Today it's a bit better. I feel kinda-not-quite human. I'm not happy to look outside and see it snowed outside and the only thing that could possibly get around out there is a Yettie or a Yettie with a snowmobile. I don't want to take the kids to school. Not because I can't drive - but because of all the other idiots out there that think it's June or something. And the worst part? I have to take off my jammies - the staple of my mere ill existence. So if you have any good antibodies you'd like to contribute to "Make a blogger feel better" please do so.

OUR HOUSE IS A MEDICAL MYSTERY

2007-12-06T08:36:00.001-07:00

Well maybe not so much a mystery. Not even a marvel. More of a pain in the proverbial ass (and the not so proverbial one).

I promised I'd give you all an update on Kierra. So we went to see the doc on Saturday about her last test results. It surprisingly came back normal! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy!! But I can't say I'm not a little surprised. And so was the doctor since a majority of autistic kids show strange levels of bacterias and yeasts in their digestive system. This only means A) we don't have to contend with this and B) now when I give her digestive enzymes, they will actually work for her. To re-cap, the digestive enzymes allow her at times to eat "normal" foods without the effects it usually produces. And to answer the question no, you can't just give her those every meal and let her eat what she wants. It's more or less a fail safe in those cases where there is no other option. So if we want to go out to a restaurant one Sunday, she pops one 1/2 hour before she eats, and presto - she doesn't have any problems with it!!!

So at this point, we are just supplementing her diet with some omega 3 pills (which taste like strawberry - not fishy!). In January, we'll have her fatty and amino acids tested to see if she's absorbing them properly. I'm willing to bet she does since it's unlikely now that she suffers from Celiac Disease and/or Leaky Gut Syndrome. There is three more tests to do. Two require urine tests: testing for neurotransmitter levels and the other for something I can't remember. Yeah that's right - I can't remember and I suck! The other is a blood test that checks the amino acids. We did discuss her "shinners" she's getting, and he theorizes that she's having an allergic reaction to something airborne (most likely in the classroom). That's all the insight he could offer.

Onto the family doctor: he also believes it's an airborne allergy and is referring us to an allergist. This will take God knows how long since where we live, we are overpopulated in people, underpopulated in physicians. I'll get back to why this is bothersome in a minute. After discussing the results from the Naturopathic doctor, my family doctor suggested Kierra go for additional allergy tests. Yes Kierra just had some but those only tested for the specific digestive allergies. She never had the standard environmental allergy test done. He then asked me if I believe in modern medicine. SHEESH! I'm not a crunchy, tree-hugger - I do believe in medicine! I guess he was wondering if I was going to protest and simply grind up bark or something to treat her. In any case, he is also ordering blood tests to check her liver, iron and other levels because he wants to see what those are doing. So I have to take her for a blood draw sometime ... I don't wanna! This will be insane and not good. But in the meantime, no one can do anything about the bouts with the eyes, so we just tough it out until the allergist becomes available.

Onto my husband. He had an appointment with the ENT (ear/nose/throat) guy last week. Actually this was a follow-up from the one he had six months before. Jarrett SNORES! Chain-saw snores. It's horrible! Before we left the states he was supposed to have surgery, but alas he didn't and we moved to Canada. We get here, and the new guy says "there's nothing wrong with you". Sigh - ok so why was he going for surgery in Michigan but here in Alberta, he's cured? Did the sound of music from the Rocky Mountains cure him? Hell no - because I listen to him grunting in his sleep! So this time I told Jarrett to insist on figuring this out. He actually told the doctor if he didn't fix the problem his wife was going to start cutting stuff out of his head in his sleep (not exactly inaccurate; those of you living with snorers know what I'm talking about!). He also snorts this spray up his nose every night so he doesn't develop sinus infections (which he has ALL the time). So he goes, and the same doctor tells him he has a deviated septum (which we knew), his adenoids are enlarged (which we knew), that his uvula is large (which we didn't know), and that he may need tubes in his ears (huh?). So he is on the wait-list for surgery to have two taken out, one fixed and something put in. The kicker: wait is about 8 months!!! This is what you get with universal health care. Sure it's non-discriminating but you pay for it in the wait times. Plus our doctors have to wait for OR scheduling, which means they can do a surgery but they can't pull a Dr. Nick Rivera and use a pizza cutter and do it in a back room in a bar. So until then, Jarrett has to get up about 2 times at night to drain his ears.

And to top it all off, Jenna's cold officially became my cold this morning. Even after I started to take those Cold FX pills (which are bullshit by the way). I got up this morning feeling like someone run over my head. Not a good feeling. Plus Kierra's therapist called in sick for a fever... just not a good day. The thought of going out today to drive them to school erks me. I just want to sit in my jammies all day long! WAH!!!! At least Jarrett is back from his business trip; although he'll just be snoring alongside me at night with his flappy uvula and crooked septum.

Wish us well in the house of germs and medical woes!

WINTER'S WONDERS-MAN!

2007-12-03T16:09:00.000-07:00

Before anyone who actually still makes visits to my blog reams me a new one, I'd just like to say... yeah I suck. Honest to God, I think, "Oh I have five minutes, I'm going to post something" and then I get side-tracked and two days later I remember where I left my train of thought. Not too many trains coming into the station lately huh?

So hope you all had a good week-end. I had an interesting one. Let's start off with Friday. Friday: my darling hubby took the day off so we could take the girls to see Santa. Usually Jarrett misses this event, because he is working. I guess I could wait until the week-end, but who in their right mind would try to visit Santa on a Saturday? It was bad enough that he accepted children at 10:00am... we were there exactly at 10:00 am and we still waited 45 minutes to see him!! Thank goodness they have a workshop play-area to occupy them. They were satisfied to wait. When they finally got to see the man in red, they were all smiles. Kierra made a point of sitting on Santa's lap - which was surprising! This is the first year she's had any interest in him (which is a good thing to see!). Of course I'll include a picture. I do have to make note that yes, I do realize Santa had quite possibly the worst dentures known to man. But hey - at least he took the time to grow his own beard this year.

Friday night we had my hubby's Christmas party. So I got all gussied up in a dress I already had. I tried to find something else, but alas, it was a feat too big. But that's okay - Jarrett added something new to it by giving me some Christmas ice a little early. This would be a one carat diamond solitaire pendant, and just so my ears didn't feel lonely - 2/3 carat a piece diamond earrings!!!

Yes swoon!!! Who doesn't swoon when their husbands give them over 2 carats of diamonds? He let me wear them as he said it was a "special occasion". However, he did take them back at the end of the night so he could wrap them and put them under the tree. Don't ask me how his mind works. I had to scratch my head at that one. He said so I had something to open Christmas morning. I told him usually that is a moot point when you already wore the gift. Oh well!! But the party was very nice!! I made a new friend (I sound like I'm in elementary school), and I won the centerpiece from our table. Jarrett won $250.00 in a gift card for an electronics store. I can't tell you how great that is, considering the ipod I was going to buy him cost around that much. Christmas present for Jarrett... CHECK!

Saturday we had Kierra's doctor appointment. I'll do another posting this week on the results from that (otherwise you'll be sitting here in a marathon posting). We then met a little girl and her mom from the twins class for the movie "Enchanted". The girls LOVED it! Kierra was cracking up almost the entire time. She has a crazy laugh - which made us laugh. After that, Jarrett went out and bought some stuff to make me a dinner, which he eloquently called it "a special dinner for my lady friend". Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok nerd. He was actually singing this lame song as he prepared it. He made hor d'oerves, a great chicken pasta dish, champagne and chocolate mousse cake. YUM!!!! Needless to say - romantic evening a la deux!

Sunday, I slept in until 10:30 (whoops!) and then spent the afternoon in a baking frenzy. I baked about 14 dozen cookies, made 30 mincemeat tarts, hand dipped a bag of pretzels because Jarrett likes chocolate-covered pretzels.... and then made three trays of homemade chocolates. Puff puff puff.

So anyways, that's about it from me!!! I'll try to be more diligent in posting this week (however we all know how good I've been about that lately!) Thanks for coming back!

BLACK-EYED BLUES

2007-11-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't get punched in the face as the title of this posting would suggest. It's Kierra (again). And no, she didn't get punched in the face either. However, she is sporting two huge allergy shinners again. Sigh....

Friday, I had just gotten home from dropping the twins off at school, and I get a call from the main office that Kierra threw up and I needed to come pick her up. I thought "great!" and told them they might as well pull Jenna out too, since I'm not going to drive back and forth all afternoon for children. I get to the school, and Kierra and Jenna are sitting there, and the teacher explains that Kierra just got up, walked over to the waste basket and threw up. Now, I think they should be very grateful. Most kids would just start to bawl, and throw up on that crummy rug they have on the kindy floor. Not my kid - she knows you need some sort of receptacle if you are going to blow chunks. So I look her over (brought extra clothes just in case), and we booted it on home.

We get home and she's chirpy as ever... no signs of being sick. However, I DO notice that her eyes are a little puffy and red looking. Almost swollen. I figure she's tired. She eats, keeps it down... and I lament because I basically pulled her out of school for nothing. But oh well - it was the responsible thing to do. WELL the next morning I get her up and her eyes are extremely swollen and puffy, the underlids especially, and just purple-red! I kinda freaked out and woke up poor hubby (Saturday is his sleep-in day), and told him to look at Kierra's eyes! She honestly looked like someone put on make-up on her to make her look like a zombie!! So of course I call our doctor's office, who is actually open on Saturdays. They are only taking walk-in's but we convince them to put us first on the list.

I get her over there and the doctor looks at her and is shocked with how badly her eyes look. He says it's an allergy of some sort, and prescribes these allergy relief drops. This is all he can really prescribe he tells me, and if it gets worse, Kierra will have to get a referral to see a pediatric optomologist to get these steroid drops. GREAT! After I leave, I go to three different pharmacies trying to find these drops... no one has them in stock. I go home and phone around and finally find someone who carries them (no small feat there).

The worst part is Kierra looks horrible! I hate to admit it but it's almost embarrassing taking her out anywhere! She looks like a child who is either abused or has a very bad illness. Her eyes are so puffy underneath that there are three folds in her lowerlids. Plus she keeps rubbing them and making them worse.

The thing is I have no clue what started this. She had this three weeks ago after her flu shot, but I thought it was a reaction from the shot since she also got hives on her face. Now I'm wondering if it's not something more going on with her. I know for a fact she didn't eat anything she shouldn't. So it's a mystery. Our family doctor is back at the end of the month, so I'm taking her back on the 5th of December. Until I get to put drops in her eyes four times a day (yeah you do this with an autistic kid), and hope they clear up soon.

PERTAINING TO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT....

2007-11-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

Well now I've done it - I've gotten all Christmassy. Is that even a word? Christmassy? Well if not, it should be. It is the epitome of explaining the getting into the spirit of the season. Funny part was, I was trying VERY hard to put that off, for the sake of not looking like one of those lunatics that get their house decorated too early.

But alas, I failed once again.

It started off innocently as I decided to start making my Christmas cookies. My reasoning was I am having a dinner on December 8, a party on December 15, and my family is coming to our house for Christmas! I need A LOT of cookies, and also I need to off-set the ones I'm secretly stuffing into my mouth when no one is looking. My bad!!! So I made some sugar cookies, some shortbread, pecan balls and some almond balls.... and realized A) I have a long way to go and B) the smell of making these cookies is making me feel ill. I had to take a break from them.

So then I thought, why not get out my winter wonderland village and set it up? I mean it's innocent enough. I got all my houses, shoppes and what not out, set them up on the top of the piano. Got the little figures and realized there must've been a crime spree in winterwonderland's box this summer, because most of them were missing heads and limbs. It was a regular storage container massacre. The only one really left intact was the Priest.... kinda scared of him now!!! I went out and bought some new people. Good to have an integrated town ya know. So I got it all set up, plugged in the 100 lights it requires... and now Kierra rearranges the people. For some reason the Priest keeps ending up in the Blacksmith's shop. LOL it's a little funny but even so.

After that, I nagged my poor husband about outside decorations. I nag I tell you - I nag!!! I went and bought some outdoor snowflakes that light up, and one of those inflatable penguins. I initially got the light nets on the trees, set up the snowflakes. Then Jarrett put up the rest. This included 12 candy canes that light up in the flower bed, lights around the garage... and the projector I haven't seen since we moved from Michigan 3 years ago!! So he gets it all set up! I'm delighted!!! Usually have to pull off the man's arm to do it. We go out for dinner, come home... and the projector slide is not only upside down, but badly out of focus. We laugh, fix it and now we are officially the gaudiest family in our cul de sac. Not to mention our neighbors are Jewish... LOL. Good thing they like us.

And............ ashamed to admit it but been buying a lot of blue and silver ornaments to decorate the "mommy tree". This refers to the purely aesthetic mommy tree that is strictly for my amusement! It is only things mommy likes. The other tree is all the ornaments you are forced to put on the tree. And I even got a blue tree skirt.

So let's here it you closet decorators... who else has been getting into the swing of Christmassy?

A GRINDING HALT

2007-11-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a dental appointment, for the usual: cleaning, check-up, polishing and verbal flogging for not flossing my teeth 18 times a day. I know I may catch some flak here from a lovely friend of mine, who just happens to be a dental hygienist (ya ya, you heard me... 18 times a day!). ANYWAYS, everything was wonderful. Teeth looked good, I got a pink toothbrush (LOL).... and then the dentist came in to do a look-over.

And he delightfully told me that I'm grinding my teeth down too much (which I knew, I'm a habitual grinder). I told him last time I came in, I got fitted for a mouth guard (which I hate by the way). He told me that doesn't stop the grinding problem, which I agreed since my guard is almost ground through. Apparently I have lost 5 mm of teeth! Now, in retrospect, that may not sound like a lot. Apparently it is a lot. Not to mention I have a SEVERE overbite. In fact, if it was any worse, my top teeth would be jaunting out of my chin. Again, they mention that I should really get a splint for my mouth, to help correct my overbite and my jaw. Last time I was in, it was $1,500.00. This time, it's $2,500.00! Shit!!!

The reason it went up a cool grand was because they got a new computer program that does your dental and facial mapping. It assesses where things are now, where they should be, and how to get from Jaw A to Jaw B. This is where the splint would come it. It would force my jaw open. He then tells me it will make me look younger. HUH? Dude I just turned 32!!!! Sensing I was not impressed, he then goes on to tell me if I don't fix this, I'm going to grind to the point of cracking my teeth, loosening them, and eventually needing dentures. He said not a problem now, but think in 10-20 years. Do I really want to be gumming creamed corn out of a can?????
On top of it all, eventually I will have to have composite added to my rear teeth to build them back up again, and even.... SHUDDER... braces!

This brings me to my next point... why the hell didn't my parents get this figured out and fixed when I was a kid??? Would've been a lot easier and actually covered by their dental plan. Now that I'm some old bat with an overlapped jawline (LOL sorry but I'm bitching about that), my insurance considers it "elective". OK, so let me get this... they can pay for this now OR they can pay for me having all my teeth fall out and getting replacements? Makes sense to me!

Until then, I suppose I'll just keep up with my daily grind. Irony is Karis is a night grinder too (she sounds like she's grinding concrete). I'll be sure to bring this up at her check-up next month so she's not 32 one day and wondering why the hell she's dealing with such a mess.

TIS THE SEASON.... FOR RECALLS

2007-11-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

Hear that? It's a collective sigh of confused parents in the toy section of department stores. Why? Because they are all probably wondering what I am wondering - what the hell is safe to buy for your kid these days? Parents in stores are holding toys at arm's length as if they are about to spontaneously combust. I don't blame them - there is a strong possibility it might happen.

In light of the massive recalls over the past year, you really have to wonder these days just what we are buying for our kids. What may seem safe at the moment could be apart of another nation-wide recall in a few months time. It's not only confusing but aggravating as hell. And actually, disturbing. Why does the problem only seem to worsen?

It's because of two reasons in my opinion:

A) Big toy conglomerates are too damn cheap to ensure the quality and safety control of their products BEFORE they hit the shelves. They are looking for cheap labor, and bigger overhead. If they think putting out a re-call after the fact is saving face, they are really missing the point here. Why are they still having their products made in Chinese factories that are having repeated problems with recalls? I mean hell, even the main dude at the factory in China hung himself. Easy out if you ask me. Rather than owning up and trying to look for a solution, he checks out. I think a better solution would have been to throw lead-based Dora the Explorer figures at him until he begged for mercy.I would rather see these toy companies putting new policy in place and making sure their factories and manufacturing products that are safe from the start. I'm not sure who, in their right mind thinks it's ok to put lead in a child's toy. Probably the same people who want to save a few measly bucks.

B) The Government hasn't stepped in yet. I mean seriously... it's pretty obvious the manufacturer's aren't doing shit about the problem. In case you haven't heard about last week's AquaDots controversy where a 20 month old boy was in a six hour coma from ingesting some of them. Why on earth would you have a chemical on them that could stop respiratory functioning? Do they not get kids put a lot of junk into their mouths? The Government needs to step in and take care of this problem. They need to ensure that products imported into our country are safe for the consumer. I mean we have all these agencies that are supposed to protect us. When are they going to do something to protect the kids?

Funny things to consider: do you think any of the people in management at Mattel or likewise are giving any of their own products to their kids this Christmas? Makes you wonder hmmmm? I had to laugh when they wanted to give out coupons for tainted toys, to buy what? MORE of their products. Yeah that's exactly what I want... to trade down for more of their poisoned crap. And how long before the consumer just says "enough already" and just stops buying their products altogether? I mean I'm sure the head honchos in these big companies aren't too worried... because they aren't really doing too much at this point. A few million dollar lawsuits isn't going to cause them financial ruin. They are heading a multi-billion dollar industry. And what do retailers do to help the problem? Toys R Us is having these huge blow-out sales all over the country to try to get the consumer in the stores. I find it hard to trust myself to buy something just because it's half-off. I mean what good does it do if I'm yanking it from my kids two weeks later? And why do I have to be bothered to log onto their website, wait for them to send me a pre-paid postage label and return the product under their own time limit? I'd rather just take it back to the store. But the retailers wash their hands of it. They don't care that THEY sold it to me. They were more than happy to take my money, but now that I demand it back, they tell me it's not their problem. I beg to differ. These are products that you are peddling to the consumer. If they don't get that they are in this problem, they are even dumber than I thought.

I know parents that already had to take some presents back to the stores because they were on the latest recall hit-list. How do you explain to your son that sorry, you can't have that toy because it's dangerous and could kill you? All I have to say is I really wish there was a Santa Claus at this point. I hardly doubt he'd have his elves painting rosy faces on baby dolls with lead paint or stuffing them with asbestos. Good old St. Nick wouldn't be shimmying down the chimney with Polly Pockets that exploded or G.I. Joes that caused cancer.

So short of learning how to whittle - I guess I'm stuck buying what I can deem "safe" for my children's Christmas and pray that the girls actually get to KEEP what Santa brings them this year. And if not, not to worry - the companies will surely do their part in "protecting the consumer" by issuing yet another mundane recall.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUTLANDISH?

2007-11-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went shopping with my friend A. Her husband has backlogged in gifts owing to his wife, so he made the generous decision to give her $5,000.00 to go spend in a way she sees fit. I got to come along for the ride. Let me tell you something, it is truly amazing the creatures you find in those really expensive stores!!

We went to Holt Renfrew (to you Canadian's, you know this to be a high class store). She had her eye on this lovely Tiffany bangle, which she ultimately bought. But the funny part was watching the OTHER shoppers. While at the Tiffany counter, this woman in her mid-30's comes in with her husband, and her probably six carats total of diamonds adorning her. She asks to see the platinum baby rattle "for a friend," which by the way, total waste of money even if it's considered status. Sure it might be a keepsake, but I over-heard her say it was a boy, and what boy wants a platinum rattle? Not to mention A) he'll never be able to touch it, and B) could knock himself out with the thing. I actually started to laugh out loud at how ridiculous she was. I mean she truly was flaunting herself and her apparent money. I felt like telling her not to try so hard. And as we went through the rest of the store, I kept seeing more and more of this.

Women trying on Prada boots that were over a thousand dollars, some of which were hideous but because they were Prada, they'd buy them anyways. A Dolce & Gabanna dress that was made of feathers (I shit you not, it was probably Big Bird's wet dream come true). Not to mention this sweater vest that looked like it was made of an Airedale terrier's fur! When A looked at it, I said, "You aren't buying that, unless you are planning on getting groomed once a week!" and then looked over to see the lady working behind the counter wearing the SAME VEST!! LOL - ok sorry but seriously. It had to be said.

The piece de resistance was this black, ugly-ass Chanel sweater we saw. It had these HUGE ugly knitted flowers all over it. Some bigger than my fist. It was truly retched and I couldn't help but looked at the price tag... ready? $3,000.00!!! OK who in their right mind buys a sweater for $3,000.00? Not to mention quite possibly the world's tackiest sweater on earth? I'm sure there is some wealthy woman out there who would think it's a steal. I'd think anyone who would buy it had their sanity stolen instead!!!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a total witch. I don't think all people who can afford nice things are full of themselves. I mean I'd be a total liar if I didn't say I didn't admire the Louis Vuitton purses (cause I have a slight fetish with them), or eye up a really nice coat. But the point being, I don't NEED these things to validate myself. I mean the same sweater by some fancy pants designer costs $400.00, or I can go to Old Navy and buy the EXACT SAME SWEATER for $40.00. The only difference is the label (and who announces what they are wearing unless you are on the red carpet?).

But all in all, I will say it was an interesting experience. Especially when the store's server went down and no one could use their platinum cards LOL!! Christmas shopping season and no one can use their plastic!!

THIS REALLY BURNS ME

2007-11-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The opinions you are about to read are of the author's, and shouldn't be misinterpreted as a slander against all contracting jobs. It's just the author's expressed opinion that they are a bunch of rip-off artists.

That being said!

We have had an on-going problem with one of our furnaces. We have two - the main one heats the basement and main floor levels. The other one is in charge of heating the upstairs where all the bedrooms are at. The upstairs one hasn't really been pulling it's weight. In fact - it doesn't work period. It would start up, the fan would run and then it would shut down. So no hot air at night. If you didn't live in the Rocky Mountains of Canada, this may not pose a problem for you. If you do, however, it is. Jarrett first decided it was the flame sensor and that it needed to be cleaned (logical). He cleans it up, puts it back in and still - the same problem.

He goes out and buys a new flame sensor (which the part's guy told him is compatible with our furnace). Jarrett installs it, and alas this doesn't work either. After much of my constant bitching, he calls a furnace repair place. They send someone out who declares it's the wrong type of sensor, but unfortunately repair guy doesn't have one. He'll be back in two days with the part he needs.

Two days later, repair guy comes back. He fiddles with things, installs a new sensor and tells me that the ignitor is also shot (our furnace is five years old). Now if I knew anything about furnaces, I might of been suspicious. But let's be honest, all I know about furnaces is that they keep us from freezing. I'm not supporting "stupid house wife" persona here, but I'm not pretending to know more than I do. So I get the bill, which includes the two new parts, maintenance on both furnaces, labor and also this wireless thermostat Jarrett wanted. Bill comes to just under 1000 clams. I sign it and off the guy goes (you know it doesn't end here).

So Jarrett calls, I tell him how much and he pratcially gives birth. First off, the guy was only here for 1 hour and 15 minutes, which Jarrett says is impossible. He couldn't have fixed the problem and cleaned and serviced both furnaces in that time. Plus the wireless thermostat was $50.00 more than he was quoted. And he's asking why we needed a new ignitor. Dude I don't know!!!!! So he comes home after work, and goes to the furnace room with his trusty flashlight and declares "He didn't even clean the furnace!" All he did was wipe the inside off with a rag. The fan is still covered in crud. He didn't install the ignitor properly, because he only used one of two screws, and the one side was lifted up from the surface. And to top it off, the furnace still wasn't working!!!!!!!

OK you know, I figured that guy had it working. Yes I realize that I should've made sure but who comes into your house for over an hour and does absolutely nothing? Jarrett calls the company and pitches the hugest fit. The ignitor was only really $50.00, but they charged us $250.00 (the guy said it was standard mark-up - holy shit we are in the wrong business then!). Jarrett told him there was no way he did maintenance on the furnace (which apparently the technician ADMITTED!). So they offer to send out yet another person to come look at the problem. We were hesitant to let them even in our house again... but we figured let's just get it figured out.

So the new guy comes and tells us (after doing a simple test) that the original flame sensor works fine, and the original ignitor works fine as well. Those are the problems, it's the gas valve. SIGH!!! The gas valve is $600.00 (I'm sure it's only really $20.00 but anyways). He installs the gas valve and PRESTO furnace is working. They tell us to keep the spare parts (no charge), and refunds us the money for the non-maintenance. In the end it balances out.

End of story.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Jarrett decided he'll install the wireless thermostat himself. He spend nearly 2 hours getting it all done, and it doesn't work. Seriously. He's majorly flipping, takes it off, puts the old one back on, which works fine. So they sold us a part (again) for $300.00 that is useless. Call them back AGAIN and tell them they are fracking idiots!!! Come get your piece of shit parts, we are going to VISA to dispute all charges now, and reporting them to the BBB. This is just insane. The funniest part? They asked if we still wanted them to do maintenance on the furnaces!!!!

ARE THEY ON CRACK? First off, they are total rip-off artists! Over charged us, didn't do the work, and apparently don't even know what they are doing. I probably could've done just a good a job "repairing" it as them!!! I mean granted, I have heat now and I'm not curled up in the freezing fetal position in my bed. LOL actually I was wearing my bathrobe to bed (yeah that's sexually inviting to the hubby). Actually when you are that cold, the last thing you want to do is let any part of you get naked even if your husband says you can keep your three layers of shirts on. Yah pass buddy. But I have decided where I live in particular, tradespeople have really lost their way. They have come to a City where the cost of living has skyrocketed, and so they A) charge an arm and a leg, and B) don't give a shit about the quality of their work. All they care about is getting the most money for the least effort. Jackasses.

Anyways, hopefully the furnace is truly fixed for good. If not, you'll be treated to another sob story about it I'm sure. Think warm, fuzzy thoughts!

STRESS RELIEF - AH THE RELIEF!

2007-11-02T08:42:00.001-06:00

I think of myself as a tense person. OK, OK.... a VERY tense person. I think you could use my muscles as violin strings. I like to put my problems or negative thoughts on the back burner to simmer in the cauldron of my own woes. It just seems easier. However, when the pot boils over, and then you are trying to clean up the mess - I think you get yourself to a worse point then you would've been if you just dealt with all the crap to begin with. It's like trying to scrub the crud off of a glass top stove. The longer you leave it there, the more work it takes to clean it all up.

In the last while, I've noticed that I've been getting a lot of muscle twinges/spasms. I know it's because I have all this pent up stress that I never let out. I'm guessing since I've left it so long, my body is trying to find ways to release it. Short of slapping one's self in the head subconsciously (that might hurt), your body often takes it's own measures to keep the pot from boiling over.

So to combat my habitual "I'll deal with it later problem" I decided to try one of those self-hypnosis relaxation exercises. I've actually done one before when I was just out of college. My roommate had one and suggested after exams were over, that we lay on the floor and try it out. I didn't think I was the suggestible type, and found out 40 minutes later I indeed was. The best part was, I totally felt mellowed out. So I scoured the Internet in search of one, and found it!! I could actually just buy it and download it to my MP3 player. I thought, "Great!" - and as I said, so I thought. When I tried to download it, my computer froze, I had to re-boot it and I lost the entire file. Oooops! I tried to email the company who seemed to be ignoring me. For people priding themselves of helping you deal with stress, they were really adding to it! So after I dropped the twins off at school, I went to a local Chapters and found the "relaxation" section. They actually have one! I browsed the section, which included many books on the subject. I suddenly felt like this huge stress ball that everyone was looking at - the unbalanced lady crouching among the PPD and Anxiety Disorder books. And to my right, I spy some CD's - exactly what I'm looking for!

I don't know about you, but when you talk about hypnosis, I want to KNOW what the person who is going to zonk me out looks like. Call me crazy (well don't) but if the guy looks like an axe-murderer, I don't want to let him into my brain. Just seems like a safe-guard you know? Otherwise the next thing you know, I'm serving Heaven's Kool-aid at the next party I host. So after finding some pictures of happy looking, sane people - I select two. One is actually guided meditation, which I think works wonderfully as I soak in our jacuzzi tub. The other is about creating inner calm. I buy them (plus Stuart Little and Charlotte's Web because they were on sale for Christmas), and scurry on home. Get home, and see that the Internet company I thought was avoiding me, re-sent the file (ha ha ha!). Oh well.

I try out one, lay on the couch, and let loose. Believe it or not, twenty minutes later I feel refreshed, alert and really happy!!!! Not to mention I slept like a baby that whole night (I've had insomnia lately). And funny thing - not so many muscle ticks anymore either. It's amazing the power of the brain.

So if any of you is really wired or just plain wacky with tension lately, I really suggest trying this. I mean it's not for everyone, and not everyone is the suggestible type - but you can't really argue with feeling laid back and mellow can you?

2007-11-01T09:58:00.001-06:00

Can you believe it's already November 1st? Where did the last 10 months go? It's all a sea of oblivion.

So yesterday was Halloween (which I'm sure you already knew) - and I got my little goblins all dressed up ready to go trick-or-treating. This was probably the first year that Kierra willingly went. Usually there is a huge fuss and muss about the whole thing. I think the fact that Daylight Savings has changed helped - we usually are going out and it's already dark. Now, going at 6pm you still have an hour left of daylight.

Our theme this year was the jungle. Highly appropriate if you ask me, because there are days that I feel like I live in a zoo of wild animals. Karis went as a monkey, Jenna as a lion and Kierra as a zebra. Jenna kept asking me what lions ate. When I told her she looked at Kierra and said, "Don't worry, I promise not to eat you". Ahhhh sisterly love!!! Me and the Mister took them out and they had a blast!!! We did probably the equivalent to one block of trick-or-treating (minus the deadbeats that turned off their lights and pretended they weren't home so they didn't have to buy candy). It was cute to watch them eagerly wait for doors to open, comments of "oh you are so cute!" and then greedy little eyes scanning the candy bowls. The worst was when people told them to pick what they wanted. You'd think they were deciding what wire to cut on a time bomb. Of course, me having a Halloween brain fart - I didn't think to bring along a spare grocery bag to empty their treat buckets. In all honesty who would expect three little kids to get THAT much candy? I had pocketsful of candy to empty when we got home - mostly because Kierra was running and flailing her bucket around so candy was shooting out all over the place. Jarrett said she looked like a slot machine that was paying out. Much to the dismay of the trick-or-treaters behind us - I made sure to pick up every single piece.

We only stayed out 45 minutes. Really that was more than enough. I let them choose the two token pieces to eat (am I cheap? My kids thought so!), and sorted and checked it all out. Sad to say - I had to make a gluten/casein free bowl of candy for Kierra. We had so many candy bars I actually added them back into the giveaway bowl. We did pretty good, we only had a few candy bars left at the end of the night. I think I bought 4 boxes of candy, plus the 7 or 8 handfuls from what my kids collected to give away. At the end of the night, I was giving out fist fulls - because if I had it in my house I knew I would just end up eating it.

Now here's a subject of discussion - do you have the "aren't you too old to trick-or-treat" candy bowl? I like seeing inventive costumes as much as the next person, but there is something disturbing about kids that have facial hair coming to your door for treats. On the one hand, you'd like to tell them they are officially cut off - if you are wearing a bra or your voice is cracking, you shouldn't be going door to door looking for candy anymore. Then again, if you are looking for them to come back later and egg the hell out of your house... you may just want to have the "aren't you too old to trick-or-treat" candy bowl. The saddest treats imagineable, and more than likely leftovers from the year before. And most of those kids - I mean they aren't even trying anymore are they? I had two come to the door, and one kid had two bags. I looked at him with a sneer, and he told me "it's my friends, he's just tying his shoe". I told him to tell his friend if he wants a Milky Way he can finish tying his shoe and come to the door... which he did... wearing nothing more than a navy blue hoodie sweatshirt and a pair of designer jeans. Nice costume kid. What's worse is those girls... you know the ones I'm talking about. Their costumes must be hookers or rapper's girlfriends or something. All I know is it involves a lot of make-up and two inches of fabric. Instead of candy, I should be giving them out some full length skirts and a facecloth to wash the crap off their faces.

Well I hope you all enjoyed your Halloween and none of you were targets of pranks such as egging, toilet papering, and the lovely flaming dog crap bag. And if not just remember....

... there's always next year!

A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME

2007-10-29T14:57:00.000-06:00

Such an adequately entitled post - you'll see why in a moment.

First of all, Week One of project "rid child of all dairy/casein" has been completed. I actually did pretty well - there was no incidence of sneaky cheese, covert-op milk or surprise attack whey. And for the most part, I didn't get much of a fuss from Kierra. Then again, she hasn't drank milk since I took her bottles away, and she doesn't like cheese unless it's melted. It really never was the casein part that worried me (although it's surprisingly in a lot of stuff), it's more the gluten/wheat. Which brings me to the next topic...

I decided to search the web for a GFCF (gluten free/casein free) cookie recipe. I found one in bloggerland actually, from a mom that is also doing the same diet for her child. I went to the whole foods store, stocked up on all the stuff I needed.... came home and disaster struck!! Now I don't know what to tell you. Yes I do - that person is on crack if she thinks THAT is a good recipe!! I mean it was bad enough the dough had the texture of chewing gum... and it was worse when the girls started to giggle gleefully when the cookies started to "boil" on the baking pan. I'm not exaggerating people - those "cookies" were bubbling. I took them out of the oven and it looked like a gremlin exploaded on my Farberware. The smell probably wasn't all that better. Of course I took pictures because:

ok a picture because honestly

A) who would believe me and B) It's almost Halloween and I thought it was scary as hell those cookies. To add insult to injury, Jarrett backed into a wall with the car, trying to avoid another guy who was backing into him. In short, car messed up and we pay 100% for the damages. Jenna summed it up well at the end of the day:

"Mommy.... your cookies were just horrible and daddy crashed our car. This isn't a good day for our family."

Amen kid.

And before you start to wonder why I entitled the post "a pirate's life for me".... as my husband was crashing my car, I took Kierra out for a mommy-daughter outing to Michael's Crafts, so I could get little orange boxes for the hand-made treats for the Kindergarten class. No I don't give out candy like normal people. I buy orange "Chinese take-out" boxes, make foam Halloween finger puppets that have each kids' name on it, plus stuff in candy and stickers, and then seal them shut with candy corn stickers and top off with a "pumpkin patch" ribbon. Yes I am strange, and yes I realize the bag of Wal-mart candy was the cheaper way to go. But in the clearance isle (because you know, Halloween isn't over but make way for Christmas!), Kierra found a delightful pirate foam hat. Huge and tacky - and of course she loved it. She smiled her big smile at me, and of course I caved (it was $2.00 too). She was so excited at the register, she was jumping and squealing in her special way... which drew the attention of all the nearby customers. I could tell people were staring at her, and not in an endearing way. More of a "what's wrong with that kid" way. I actually was going to hold her hand to stop her skipping around and tell her to hush and then thought WHY??????????? What do we have to be embarrassed about? So instead I smiled into her happy face and announced loud enough for all to hear, "You know what Kierra? Mommy is happy it's the pirate's life for her!" That turned all heads back around and eyes facing shoes.

I may make horrible cookies, I may have in-home therapy for my child every week day, and I may even have to chase her around the playground in sub-zero weather because she won't wear her jacket... but me hearty's it is a good life.

KIERRA'S TEST RESULTS

2007-10-25T08:16:00.000-06:00

Hey all,

So I finally have the results back from Kierra's blood tests on the digestive allergies. I actually got them on Saturday, but things have been crazy-busy, plus I had to do the other up-dates in sequential order (trip and then anniversary). And I'll be honest, I've been so over-whelmed with the findings of it all - I've been trying to get things figured out. So without much adieu - here they are.

To recap: I did some looking into finding a doctor in Calgary that specializes in DAN. They do tests to determine A) whether the child has any high levels of metals toxicity in their system, B) whether the child has digestive allergies and C) whether the child has deficiencies in minerals/vitamins, has yeast overgrowth in their digestive tract, and whether their liver's are functioning properly. It has been shown in a lot of cases of Autism, that all three are factors in these kids. It is theorized that once you eliminate the allergies; the child can function much better. Essentially the allergy is causing an adrenaline high all the time and is compared to your child tripping out on LSD all the time. This is why she might tantrum a lot, hard to concentrate, spacing out etc.... We did the food diaries and were amazed at what we were seeing. Days with certain foods were definitely showing bouts of bad behaviors.

We visited Dr. Klassen, who was very informative. He explained the DAN testing and told us where we should begin. To start off, he did the blood allergy test for Kierra to test her for digestive allergies. He also did a dip to test for the metals toxicity. The results from Kierra's allergy tests were somewhat staggering. Kierra is highly allergic to all dairy or casein (a protein found in dairy). She is allergic to everything that would possibly come from a milk or milk product. Even goat's milk (which is highly unusual). She also is highly allergic in areas of nuts, grains and legumes. Essentially gluten and gliadin; which are primarily found in wheats. So she is allergic to wheat, gluten, rye, sesame, splet, and whole wheat, plus peanuts. She is also highly allergic to eggs (yolks and whites) and blueberries. The only good news is she's not allergic to any vegetables, oats, soy, fruits, or seafood. We basically are starting a 10 week plan to eliminate ALL of the allergens out of her system. It's going to essentially compare to de-tox - she's not going to be very fun. The dairy should be ok, since she's not really a big dairy person. But the gluten is a big one, since it's in any refined product like pizzas, pastas, waffles, cookies, crackers..... oh pretty much everything. In replacement, we can use amaranth flour, egg beaters, soy milk and cheeses, rice, anything sunflower based and some oats. We will have to start shopping at Whole Foods stores now, and most meals will now require me to plan ahead extensively and be pretty much a label reader extraordinaire! I have already ordered some cookbooks for kids on GFCF (gluten free/casein free) diets. I also have to go through all the cleaning products, her bathing and daily care products and check them all for things. Big major production.

The metals test came back pretty good. No major levels of lead and mercury were found (this is good). She had one elevated level but it's nothing that is concerning. We'll just keep an eye out on that one.

The fecal test is still needed to be done - which will determine the yeast and the liver, plus all the minerals/vitamins. She's now on a special supplement that is totally dye free. She may or may not have to have series of vitamin B12 shots depending on the results. This may also be the reason as to why her hair and nails don't grow or are very brittle, as well as the paleness of her skin tone. We'll see what the tests say on that one. Hopefully we'll have that back sometime in November.

So this week I started "Stage One" of the new GFCF diet. This means eliminating ALL the dairy in her diet. Harder than it sounds. I almost boned the first day at breakfast. After that, I decided I needed to go to a whole foods store and start looking around. I did this, and was completely overwhelmed by it all. Just because something doesn't have gluten in it, it doesn't mean it's casein or egg free. In fact, most of it still had one or the other. Looking for cookies and bread was especially hard - however I did manage to find some cookies that we could buy. The bread... that's a different story. I actually was on the bread recipe quest this week (and I found one) for gluten free bread without the eggs in it. So far so good: Kierra is eating what I'm preparing. Unfortunately the other two girls are getting it as well (because you can't give two kids a cupcake and say, "here you have an apple". I rationalize it's healthier for them. So I rounded up all the stuff in the pantry Kierra can't eat and either gave it to the neighbors or donating it to charity (what wasn't opened that is). I don't know if I've noticed in change in Kierra at all. I'm waiting for this horrible backlash from no dairy - but haven't really seen it. I have a feeling the gluten will be the worst one to eliminate (did I mention that starts NEXT Monday?).

So that's it!!! Hopefully this transition goes well, and I survive it with at least 40% of my sanity. Wish us luck!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY - TO US!

2007-10-24T10:32:00.000-06:00

Today marks our nine year wedding anniversary!!! Can't believe it's been this long. But as funny as it sounds, I honestly can't remember life without Jarrett being a part of it (we've been together of 14 years now). And I can't imagine being without him.

So happy anniversary babe!! Love you always.

MY TRIP!!!!!

2007-10-22T10:25:00.000-06:00

I'm back!! Did you miss me? Our vacation was great!

I have to start off by saying our plane trip there kinda sucked. We flew with this airline and the plane was older than the hills, and EXTREMELY uncomfortable to sit in for 3 hours. We were wondering exactly why there were no cushions on the seat (it felt like a plank), and why the overhead bins were called that... they should've been called mid-torso bins because you had to be bloody contortionist to get into your seat. I was scared to go to the bathroom; might just be a hole cut in the bottom of the plane. But once we got to San Diego, it was fine. It was fine because I swore to ride a camel all the way back to Canada before I ever sat in another one of their air crafts!

The next day was embarkation!!! We got in front of everyone else (elite status is glorious!) When we boarded the ship, we realized that was pretty much all your elite status involved. They screwed up our dinner reservations. In fact they screwed up a lot since there was a huge line already! At first we weren't even sitting with our friends, and they had us sitting down at 8:00pm. We were like WTF?? We were supposed to eat at 5:45. So in order to sit with our friends, we had to sit at 8:30pm every night (which kinda sucked). We asked about the elite service to which the maitre D told us "old people and children get preferential treatment". OKAY so why did they even ask when we wanted to eat? Did I pay the extra grand fo a mint and a towel made into an animal on my bed every night? However, the room was really nice - Jarrett splurged and got us the Penthouse Suite. However, the first night I was awakened to hear the people above us having very loud, angry sex. The guy kept yelling "C'mon you fucking bitch!" Ummm yeah - I was hiding under the covers. Scary sex.

We got to Ensenada the next day and it was pretty. Me and J went on a 1 1/2 hour horse ride in the hills overlooking the ocean. I had a horse named Jose Cuervo and Jarret - Bud Light. He had the slowest horse in all of Mexico. The ride was very peaceful. Sore asses later but you know, it was worth it. We were completely covered head to toe in red dust - since they had a drought. I was kinda scary and dirty. We went shopping in town afterwards - which was an experience. LOL apparently Mexican Viagra is a big seller. Some Mexican offered to get me some "illegal" drugs. I high-tailed it out of there! So I bought some nice things for my mom and the girls.

That same day was my birthday, so they had a cake for me and everything. It was also the formal night. Introducing skank mom and daughter team. OMG - that's all I have to say. They were such super-sluts it was almost ridiculous. To see a mom and daughter on a cruise, dressed so horridly. The daughter had a long gown on, and the front of it had a panel of see-threw lace, so you could see her panties. It was horribly tacky! Of course they got stuck with these other two parties at this table, who were not happy to sit with them. We sat beside them in the next table. Skank DD was so drunk. I went to the bathroom, opened a door and she was sitting NAKED on the can. Saw her sprayed fake tanned tits and all! I have no clue where her dress was!!! Funny story, the last night on, my friend Alana had the EXACT SAME thing happen to her with the same person!! She opened the bathroom door and AGAIN she was naked!! WTF?

The day at sea was really nice AND HOT!! Sat around the pool and baked. Watched skank dd and mom dance like strippers, by themselves, to their ipods. Very strange. They were totally blasted. We had our massage for 75 minutes (bliss!). Later, me and Alana got the worst manicures of our lives!! I mean torture of the cuticles!! HORRIBLE. The Spa accidentally booked us the wrong day, we were originally supposed to have it the night before on formal night. They were supposed to comp us some off, then they lied and said we were comped - turned out they didn't. Alana got all lawyer on them.

The third day, we were in Cabo San Lucas. GORGEOUS!! Me and J went to the Dolphin Swim - and it was AWESOME. We swam with them, layed on them and they pulled us around, it was sooooooooo cool!!! Got the girls some stuffed dolphins of course! After we met up with our friends, had lunch. The guys went to do that sea helmet adventure thing, so me and Alana went shopping down the boardwalk. Again, I was asked if I wanted to buy drugs (do I look like a stoner or something?). I bartered like a pro for a bracelette LOL. I couldn't believe how awesome it was there. They had this super huge nice mall, and Jarrett bought me a Coach handbag - because I'm a huge purse whore. After, we got back on the boat, totally broke and heat stroked.

The last day, we sat in the sun and just relaxed. Had to do the token water slide - which by the way - wasn't the greatest idea Alana ever came up with. She went first, and I learned quick to "brake" - I literally used my hands to slow down so I didn't have to plunge into the cold water. People applauded my efforts. I think my nipples are at the bottom of that pool as ice cubes. Skank dd and mom were trying to pick up all these guys but didn't do too well. After getting a closer look I can see why - she ain't pretty and she even look that way. They were super pissed drunk. The last night at dinner, they said good-bye, and after they left, all the people at their table toasted LOL. I had to add in there a brief "YIPPEE!" and about five surrounding tables applauded. So all in all, the fun was good. I mean we saw some comedians and some shows. But the boat itself I give a 2 out of 5 only cause I'm comparing it to the Celebrity Cruise I took three years ago. Honestly, never would book with Carnival again. The Maitre D actually had the balls to ask us for a tip, that was conveniently put in a nice little envelope on our bed. We gave him a tip alright - but not monetary. "Tip: The next time you book times for sit down dinners, try to honor them. And when someone buys a ticket that is supposed to get them preferential treatment - try to honor that as well". I know - we are jerks! But in spite of it, we did have a great time on our on-shore excursions.

Of course I had a million pictures but I'm not posting them all. I'll leave you with a few of them!

LEAVIN' ON A CRUISE BOAT....

2007-10-12T13:39:00.002-06:00

I'm off for my 5 day cruise to Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada! OLAY! I spelled that wrong but hey, I'm Canadian. We are billingual in French/English okay?

See you in a week!

GIVE THANKS

2007-10-10T08:23:00.000-06:00

Hey all. It's taken me a long time to recuperate from the Thanksgiving fiasco that I hosted on Sunday. First things first, I didn't even realize that I missed my one-year blogging anniversary. Happy Anniversary to me!!

Sunday I got down and dirty, cooking like a mad woman. Cleaning the house. All those neurotic things you do when you are expecting a houseful of people. At 2:00, my husband puts the turkey in the rotisserie. We held our breathes in anticipation hoping this bird would fit. It does (narrowly), and it starts spinning away in it's succulence. About an hour later, I hear this forlorn wailing from downstairs, practically stabbing myself in the eye with my mascara wand "CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

I run downstairs and see Jarrett pulling the turkey out of the rotisserie. Parts of the skin were starting to burn because it was so fat, it was too close to the elements. Only 3:00 - no where near done turkey. I panic and call Cook 911 (my mother) who advises us to cover it with foil, throw it in the oven, and baste the hell out of it. We think crisis averted (or is it?)

Guests all file in an hour later, the turkey is cooking away in the oven now. Dinner is still on for 5:30. So at 5:15, I start to pull potatoes off to mash them, I honey-glaze carrots, fluff stuffing, and do all that to get the meal out. And at 5:30 my husband takes the turkey out and the little popper thing is still firmly down. We take the internal temperature and it's 170 (shit we need 180). Back in the oven it goes; and I turn on the elements to keep the dinner (which was already on the counter for buffet) warm. Over the course of the next hour, I'm continually swearing at the dead poultry in my oven. My idle threats do not make the physics of cooking a turkey go any faster. It takes it's sweet time. Everyone is noticeably hungry, and being polite not to say anything. Major tip-off is people stuffing olives, pickles and buns into their mouths when they think I'm not looking.

Finally we just feed the kids (minus turkey), and I thank God I made meatballs. Kids are eating, we are still violently stabbing the turkey with a meat thermometer, hoping ticking it with the fingernails will make the dial go up to 180 (this doesn't work by the way). Finally at 6:30 the turkey is done. We all sit down and stuff our faces full. Everyone was happy with delirium to be eating, mumbling "good dinner" between mouthfuls of stuffing and cranberries. I was just happy to be sitting down. All in all I'd say success!!!

The only sad part came after everyone left and I spied the counter full of pots and pans that I needed to wash. You can accurately guess I just filled them with cold, soapy water - and left them for my husband to wash the next morning while I slept in until 10:30. After all, too many cooks in the kitchen; kiss the chef; and thou who spent two days cooking deserves a reprieve.

DO OR DIE

2007-10-04T18:14:00.000-06:00

In light of the up-coming vacation, it got us to thinking...

We haven't up-dated a Will since we left the States. Now for those of you unfamiliar with Wills, jurisdictions and such - our Will is invalid. It wouldn't be upheld by any court in Canada. And funny fact: the LAST time we made a Will (which was actually our first) was when we went on our last vacation 3 years ago.

So as I was saying, in light of our up-coming vacation, we figured it was high time to get that Will re-done, signed, sealed and put in a firebox or something. For those of you that think lawyers are a waste of money - we conquer. In fact, there is nothing a lawyer can do for you that you can't do for yourself if you buy the proper Will kit. It also helps that back in the day, I used to work for a lawyer and made out I dunno how many Last Will and Testaments. A lot. I also helped go after people who were in arrears from their student loans. You'd be shocked of all the lame-ass excuses I got from people who didn't think they should re-pay them (people... just pay them back will ya?).

Today I went on the quest to find the proper documents I needed to get my Will on. I tried two registry offices to no avail. Seems everyone in the Northwest side of Calgary is looking to take care of their affairs. Can't blame em. I could have registered my own trademark though (if I only had one). I need one of those stupid catch phrases like Paris Hilton's "that's hot" or Donald's "you're fired". Yes ingenious of them both. Finally, I find a place that has them, and I notice that they also offer the Power of Attorney document, with the bonus of $10.00 off if I buy the Will kit at the same time! LOL - seems like a funny offer but hey, ten bucks is ten bucks.

It gets me thinking of how many people won't do a Will. And usually the answer is because if they make a Will, that means they might die. How illogical is that? People paper doesn't determine whether you live or die. Jumping off a building, swimming with your toaster - those do. I think maybe it's just the fear of untimely demise. If you have your shit together, the cosmic forces might say, "Eh you've had a good run". I don't buy into that. I mean I have three kids, and if I go without the proper documentation, Lord only knows what happens to them custody-wise. Plus, I don't want them fighting over all my jewelry. And you know, you have to delegate trust funds. Jarrett's grandpa wasn't so thought-out. He put fifteen grand in a coffee can on the top of his fridge. Apparently he was saving up to buy a new pick-up truck. Honestly, $15G in a can of Folgers. My great grandmother hid her money in magazines. Like between the pages. For years she insisted that the staff in the nursing home was stealing from her. After she died, and they started to burn all the useless stuff she accumulated (she was 101 years old), they dropped a magazine and two fifties and a ten fell out on the ground. They looked at each other and went through all the books and magazines.... .and found something like $7,000.00 - plus whatever they just burned in a barrel. WHOOPS!!!

Really, it's amazing all the work you have to put in just to pass on. All the little details, in which Jarrett and I look at each other and think "I dunno". He has one request. He wants his infamous catch phrase on his headstone. I told him it was highly inappropriate to have the words "This is bullshit" on his grave marker. He thought it would be funny to the passersby and really, summed up his life in three words. You'd think "beloved husband and father" would be more reasonable. Mine should read "come back later - I'm busy".

So here it is... how many of you still haven't gotten your Will done? And if not, why haven't you? I'm interested. Let's call it a sociological study.

LET'S GIVE THANKS

2007-10-02T08:29:00.000-06:00

Ever bite off more than you can chew? Yeah? Well how about when someone hands you another helping even though you didn’t ask?

It has been past tradition (can you call two years in a row tradition?) I have hosted Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Usually I have over our next door neighbors. Let’s call them J&A. This year was no exception. We extended the invitation, they happily accepted. Honestly, who wouldn’t? Who in their right mind wants to spend all day stuffing bread up the arse of a dead bird? Oh, just so some of you don’t think I sure like to plan festivities really early - Canadian Thanksgiving is October 8th (or Columbus Day to you Yank’s).

There is a catch my friends Why else would I make a point of writing a post about it? I was standing in the cul de sac with neighbor and friend (let’s call her S) while our kids rode bikes. J of J&A came strolling out of his house with his kiddos. We stand there for a moment or two exchanging pleasantries and he asked if they should bring anything to dinner. D’oh S doesn’t say anything, just looks at the ground. First off, don’t give your computer screen that look. They have a lot of family here and they are usually busy. I stopped asking because they are always doing the family thing. But you know, I figured I’d better ask anyways. So I say , “S, do you guys have any plans this Thanksgiving?” Actually no they don’t. She’s nine months pregnant, and refused to host this year (don’t blame her), so there really isn’t a big shindig this year. So my dinner of 9just became dinner of 13. No biggie - I can just buy a bigger bird. I like A&S.

I tell Jarrett our dinner just got livelier, to which he replies, “Did I tell you H of C&H invited me, and the other two guys over this week-end for a guy’s night?” Do you see where this is heading. C&H are actually good family friend’s of Jarrett’s family. Coincidentally, they don’t’ have any family that lives here. I hypothesize them all sitting around H’s talking about dinner the next night, to which C&H haven’t been extended an invitation. So I sigh, and say we should invite them too (it is the nice thing to do), and then start to calculate just how many pounds of fowl I’ll be needing. So party of 13 becomes possible party of 15. D’oh again

Now I realize that since I’m used to cooking for a smaller crowd, I actually don’t have the stuff I need to prepare the actual dinner. Not the munchies, but rather the cookware to prepare them. I could use three tiny casserole dishes or just go buy one huge one. So the mission yesterday, that I dared to accept, involved my going to Wal-Mart and getting a “few” items. My few items cost me a total of $200.00 - which included (amongst other things) a huge casserole dish, a gravy boat with tray, a big-ass punch bowl, and some other junk I probably didn’t actually need. But the first few yes I did. Today involves me going out and buying groceries. I don’t do anything from a can. I make my own cranberry sauce, I make my own stuffing, I make my own gravy and pies. The only thing commercialized is the green bean casserole because I don’t feel like making my own breaded fried onions. My house would stink for weeks. So in the end, I’ll probably have a bigger debt due to Thanksgiving than Canada’s National Debt.

In spite of it all, I do give thanks for this. I have good friends who want to spend a day with my family. How can you argue with that? At the end of it all, when we are all in a coma-like state from the triptofan in the turkey, I will be thinking not of the pile of dishes ready to be washed, or why I didn’t find a pair of old maternity jeans to wear to dinner simply for the expanding panel - I’ll be thinking that I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

THE LONG AWAITED THIRD OPINION

2007-10-01T08:11:00.000-06:00

Sorry to those of you who have been waiting to hear about Kierra's appointment with the new doctor. I fully intended on writing about it on Saturday, but as it was, we spent most of Saturday pulling flowers and plants out of the flowerbeds, then watched as two cop cars and an ambulance sat two doors down because the teenage son was hopped up on drugs and beating up his mom (he no longer lives there). Then to top off the evening, Karis starts to bark like a seal (YUP YOU GUESSED IT!) and it was an ER run for the steroid to treat croup. Believe it or not, it wasn't Jenna for once - the Croup Queen of Canada. So we fully anticipated taking Jenna last night, which wasn't the case miraciously. KNOCK ON WOOD, KNOCK ON WOOD!!!! Karis is doing much better, but she was pretty cranky yesterday. They got there around midnight, didn't get seen until 2:30 and got home around 3am - so tired. Then Kierra started to scream because Sunday is daddy-daughter breakfast day (daddy makes waffles, bacon, egg wraps... mommy sleeps in), but daddy was sleeping. After 20 minutes of tantruming, poor Jarrett woke up and came downstairs tired. It wasn't a fun Sunday. We spent it sleeping on and off on the couches while the kids watched Miss Spider's Sunny Patch. Finally we went to the park and let the kids ride bikes outside for 2 hours. Holy crap, shouldn't I get back to my initial point?

OK so Saturday, my neighbor was nice enough to watch the other two girls so Jarrett and I could take Kierra to see Dr. K. It's across the City, so we trucked down there, and I ogled the massive houses as my husband told me "No way! Do you know what traffic is like on the South side?" Fine! We get to the office, and right away he comes out and smiles and talks to Kierra. You can tell instantly that Kierra likes him. She's smiling away, shows him her puzzle she brought. Fellow moms, you know how golden it is when your kid LIKES the doctor.

So we sat in the room, and we talked a bit about Kierra's health in the past and presently. He asked us a lot of questions about her diagnosis process, her eating habits, her pooping habits and her behaviors. He marvelled how she put her puzzle together in no time flat (typical Kierra - she has amazing memory and spatial abilities). He kept commenting on how wonderful she was. Then we talked about her current therapies she's undergoing. He was very impressed by the work we've put into her (sorry to make her sound like a car restoration).

After that, he started to talk about his theory about Autism. Basically that it wasn't just a neurological disorder. This is when I infamously whip out the article I clipped out of the newspaper the night before from a Harvard University study done on Autism. It stated they've figured out it's not only a neurological disorder - rather it's a whole body disorder. Their findings have been that people with autism are showing a wide range of problems in their organ systems, primarily the immune system. They aren't sure what is causing it, but it's a recurrent theme. This is where Dr. K came in. He was delighted to see the article and said, "This is why I take this specific approach to Autism". He did confirm that it was DNA based, but that it was exaggerated by environmental factors. He also stated that vaccines didn't CAUSE autism, but suspects that it acts like a catalyst for it. Mainly, if you are predisposed to autism, and you have an unheatlhy immune system, that vaccines aren't being handled properly by the body systems. So rather than boosting the immune system, it is causing the body to attack it's own immunities - which causes adverse reactions that can also cause neurological problems. It is his belief that if you look at the immune system, and what other problems are coming from that, you can start taking care of them and decreasing the symptoms of the autism. Dr. K firmly told us you can never "CURE" autism (which we knew), but compared it to diabetes. You always have it, but sometimes with proper lifestyle changes, you can make a positive impact on your symptoms.

I did tell Dr. K that I had hear about the DAN approach about three years ago, but that my pediatrician didn't recognize it and told me it was a bunch of garbage. He said it's typical and not everyone believes it can work. He stated that unfortunately it doesn't work as well in some children as others. Mostly children who were high functioning had the best results; especially when it was a younger child. He also stated that it is always good to see the whole picture because you just never know. Just alleviating some of Kierra's body problems could help with her concentration and overcoming some of her hurdles. Of course we don't expect miracles - but we are willing to see just what, if any, changes can be made for positive advancement for her.

He immediately asked us about food allergies, and then replied he thought it was very probable she had some because she had "allergy shiners". This is the dark circles under her eyes that we have noticed for years now. He said it's a typical reaction to food allergies. He thought we should have a food allergy panel done. Then he noted her skin coloring, which tends to be on the yellowish-side. He said that could be a good indication that her liver functioning isn't quite what it should be and that she's not producing enough bile, so her billirubin is higher than normal. She's not jaundiced - but this means she's not digesting all her nutrients properly. This would possibly be why her hair doesn't really grown and is brittle. Also why her nails never really grow. Also her poop tells him this is probable because it is so light in color. Her body isn't absorbing like it should. He said this could be because of high levels of yeast in her digestive tract, and the lack of the proper bacteria that add in digestion and absorption. So they will be conducting a stool test to look for the yeast, and other issues related to this.

He also talked to us about how children with autism have higher levels of metal toxicity in their systems. Mainly, lead, mercury and tin. They aren't quite sure why, but a urine dip is accurate enough to tell us if she does have high levels. If she does, there is a more advanced test to have it move through her system more to tell us just how much there is. If so, there are some procedures that can be down with involve taking an oral or IV medication to flush her system of these toxins. But he'd rather do the less invasive tests first. He thought she probably had some mineral and vitamin deficiencies, which we'll check for. And he gave her a more organic children's vitamin to take which doesn't contain dyes.

Of course we discussed foods she eats, and the possible allergies. Gluten and casein - which is wheat and dairy allergies. He thought it was odd how she decided to no longer drink milk. We are going to wait to see what the allergy tests say first. Until then, we are keeping a diet journal and noting her skin colors, poops and behaviors that day. He wants to see how her body reacts to certain foods. He said a lot of the time, people with allergies to foods really crave to eat them, because their body's get this high from the shock it produces to the system. Essentially, this is why we develop cravings to certain foods. He said her cravings for carbs like pastas and breads could be allergy related.

We get some results back in about three weeks. He sends it off to a special lab in Seattle that deals specifically in testing for these types of things. We are feeling optimistic that there is something to be said for all of this. Of course we won't know more until those tests come back. Dr. K did seem very open-minded and willing to look at all the possible angles with us, which was great. And he definitely wasn't pushy or presumptuous with us. He just thought that looking at the whole picture was the best approach - which we are finding is probably true.

So that about wraps it up. If you are still reading - wow, you must really like me LOL. Hopefully you've learnt a lot with me. As I've said, I'm not 100% sold on anything at this point but I don't think it hurts to know all options, and to explore them - especially if they don't hurt anyone. In light of recent scientific findings - I'm hopefully optimistic that there are more answers out there waiting to be discovered!

THE HOUSEWIFE'S GUIDE TO HIDING RISQUE ITEMS

2007-09-28T08:26:00.000-06:00

In about two weeks, I'll be sunning myself on the deck of a ship in Bajas. Ah lovely!! Can't wait. I have been going out and getting things I need for the trip. Well not "need" but like. A few new bathing suits, cover ups... can't find a wide brimmed hat because I waited too long and now everything is made of wool. I refuse to wear a fedora. I'm not Britney Spears, and will not be getting out of my car with my hat and without underwear in the elementary school parking lot. Call it tact if you like. So I'm feeling pretty good that I have everything I need for my trip.

But then I realized I have a LOT to do before I go. My mom was gracious to come to take care of the kids for me. But this also means getting a lot of stuff organized before she gets here. That requires making a zillion lists of things she needs to know about. Doctors, school info, routines... My mom will have to drive the twins to and from school; and she has no clue where that is. She'll have to deal with the therapists that will be here in the mornings. Any play dates will have to be re-scheduled and I have to call to cancel the ballet class. I'm not going to subject my mom to watching little girls running around like cannibals in pink tutus.

Did I mention I'm glad to get away from all of it?

My trip also involves cleaning my house like I have OCD. Because my mom won't tell me something isn't clean, she'll just clean it and tell me about it later. "I cleaned the drain in your shower... did you realize how much hair was in there?" Thanks mom. I was actually saving that to make Jarrett's uncle a hair piece. Honestly my shower hair would look much better than what he has now. "I cleaned your freezer, did you realize you have three racks of freezer-burnt ribs in there?" Thanks mom. I was saving those for the next time my inlaws were out. I actually am more anal about a clean house around my mother than his. Maybe because she tells me my sister's house is a disaster zone. She was at my sister's taking care of her kids while they went on their honeymoon. I can only imagine how her house looked when she got back. Immaculate, shiny and notably commented on. I could only imagine the comments in reverse.

So last night Jarrett asked me if I started on the prep work for mom's visit. I told him not yet, I'm too lazy. He smiles and asked me what I was planning on doing about my bedside drawer. I looked at him confused and said, "What do you mean?" He laughed and said, "Maybe you should open it". Low and behold I realize what he's getting at. I have a sort of *ahem" collection of items we have for getting down and funky in the bedroom. Not the sort of thing you want you mother to happen to come across in her cleaning snoopiness. Could you imagine? "I cleaned out your bedside table and organized all your sex toys. Oh and your lube is getting close to it's expiration date." Thanks mom. I think I could possibly die. I mean there are things that shouldn't be known between mom and daughter. I'm thinking this is one of them. I looked at my husband lovingly and said, "Why darling, I'll just put it in YOUR bedside table". He laughed, stopped and asked me if I was serious. We then discussed where to harbor all the evidence that I do indeed have sex. (I don't know why this should matter. I'm 31, married and pay my own mortgage). We figured the big box in the basement should do it. OH that sounded bad. We don't actually require a big box, it wouldn't be full believe me. I just don't have very small boxes laying around. LOL yah that's it.

Then again... if I leave things as they are this may be the answer I'm looking for. It may just stop the incessant digging around my drawers wouldn't it? My mother ribbed me for the underwear I have. I guess she expected full bottomed Fruit of the Loom or something. Instead she found the spectrum rainbow of thongs. By the way, it's a little creepy when you come home from picking up some groceries and your mom is folding your thongs on the kitchen table. "Just saw that you had some laundry in the dryer to be folded. How can these be comfortable". Thanks mom. Seriously though, I have to re-locate the stuff. I can't have mom going into cardiac arrest with my children in the house.

So do any of you have a funny story of the time you didn't think of what you had lingering in your bedside table and it was accidentally happened upon? C'mon admit it for those that have. After all, we are all adults here ;)

THE PATH LONG FORGOTTEN

2007-09-27T09:09:00.000-06:00

How do I start this post today? Some of you may think I'm about to eat some serious crow. That's cool - I'll try to not get feathers on you. Some of you may laugh at my hypocritical nature. That's cool too. The world loves to prove a hypocrite wrong. My mom is about to get the phone call of her life, and feel extremely victorious. You gotta give your mom the upper hand sometimes. That perhaps is worse than writing this post. However, I will fill you in on why today's posting is the exact polar opposite of yesterday (in a sense).

As you all know, I bought the Jenny McCarthy book "Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism". Mostly because my mom was harassing me about it after she watched Jenny on The View yesterday. I think that my latter post was more about my feeling attacked by my mom (in a non-confrontational way). In essence, I felt like she was telling me I wasn't doing enough for Kierra. It's hard to have people telling you, "You could do so much more". It makes a parent feel negligent - basically not a very good parent. I don't believe this is true about me. I think I've fought hard to get her to the point she's at today. But I think deep down inside I have lost a little of my drive. I am not the same woman I used to be by any means. Anyone that knows me will tell you that since Kierra was diagnosed, the spirit that was all about me has faded out a lot. People don't really recognize the humbled out me. The me that is not quite as quirky or silly. The me that sits there more often serious and not smiling. Maybe that's why my mom saw something I haven't, or have refused to see for myself. That I gave up even though I didn't realize I had. More accurately, I've given up in finding the a miracle. This doesn't mean I have found it. But I think I have found my hope again. Isn't that just as important?

After reading the book in it's entirely yesterday (yeah that's right), I put it down on my coffee table and stared at the wall for probably a good 10 minutes. I realized my eyes were burning, because I spent the entire day off and on crying my eyes out reading the words on the pages. It was like ripping open old wounds I thought had long healed. Maybe that's what I needed again. Not to re-hash coping and accepting Kierra's autism, but to find the enthusiasm I had to do whatever I had to do to help my child. Jenny McCarthy didn't sell me on any idea in particular. She didn't make me think there is a cure for autism. But she did show me that there are two kinds of parents of autism: those that wallowed in their "woo is me, my life will never be the same" and the parents who would move Heaven and earth to do whatever it took to help their kid. Even if it meant going down more than one avenue that turned up absolutely nothing. Better to venture into the dead end and learn something, than to never take the journey in the first place. I know I've become the parent that lost her way.

Two years ago, before I moved here, my family pediatrician wasn't much help. I had to fight for Kierra's evaluation. I had to fight to get a referral for a second opinion. I was spending countless hours on the internet looking for ANYTHING that might help Kierra. I bought book after book, searching for something. Something I have long ago stopped doing. It was then I had found this diagnostic lab that would test your child for toxicities, allergies and do a metabolic series on them. It was specific to the autistic child. Unfortunately my doctor had never heard of it, and it required going to an independent lab and sending blood work to this place over the internet. I wasn't sure about it because I thought it could just be a hoax to extort money from parents desperate for answers. I asked Kierra's neurologist about it, and he also didn't recommend it. He had never heard of this being part of treating autism.

While reading the book, I re-discovered this process. It's called DAN or Defeat Autism Now. I realized last year that I spoke to another mom in the park about this technique. She had claimed she took her son to this doctor and that he had done these tests, made some life-style changes, and how he was functioning better. At first, I didn't buy her whole story. If there was a cure-all out there, why wouldn't all parents of autism know about it? She had told me the doctor's name, and ran to her car to write his name on a piece of paper. I put it in the pocket of my jacket and left it there. Then last month, I had talked to Kierra's psychologist and she was saying I should really find a doctor here that specializes in autism. I agreed and she told me about this doctor that a lot of her clients have been going to. Low and behold, same doctor as the one written on the piece of paper in my jacket pocket. I decided to google him, and read the information on his website.

I read about the naturalistic approach he took to treating autism. He wasn't about putting children on anti-psychotics or anti-depressants. He did a series of blood tests to look for toxicities in the body, allergies that could be causing issues, and looking at the body for mineral and vitamin deficiencies. The same approach I had found on the internet two years ago. For some reason I didn't want to dismiss this. I wanted to look more into it because I had Jenny's words ringing in my head "your child is worth trying for". So I sat down and sent an email to him, explaining my situation. I already knew he had a long waiting list, but I figured at least I could get more information about it, not fully expecting anything.

Last night Dr. K called us himself. He spent ten minutes on the phone with Jarrett asking questions about Kierra. He asked if we could come in this Saturday morning, as he had a last minute cancellation. We were stunned. I couldn't believe in the course of a day, I could go from being the hugest pessimist to all of a sudden talking to a doctor about looking into testing for Kierra. I saw a grin on Jarrett's face I haven't seen in such a long time. It was hope. Hope he long abandoned also. Last night in bed, we started to talk about it, and he told me, "You know, it may not be the answer we are looking for. It may never turn up anything that will help Kierra. But how can you blame us for wanting to at least try?" And he was absolutely right. My baby is worth all the disappointments I may face barking up the wrong tree. But more, my baby is worth trying and possibly finding something that helps her make strides in this world.

Nothing has ever been gained from giving up. I realized that doing this is like giving up on Kierra. I would never want to do this; intentional or not. True I have been an advocate in having her therapies in place, making sure she got what she needed. I thought this was the most I could ever really do. As long as she had her services, then I was doing a good job. And who do I have to thank for reminding me? Jenny McCarthy. She made me realize that sometimes it hard to stay strong, and even if we loose our way sometimes, it is never too late to fight for what's important to us. Our children.

ALL OF LIFE'S QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

2007-09-26T08:17:00.000-06:00

So apparently all of life’s answers are obtainable in the course of watching one program on television. Am I being sarcastic? Well duh But in some minds, it’s entirely conceivable to think that listening to one person’s experiences with their autistic child is easily transferred into my life.

My mom called me frantically yesterday morning to tell me that Jenny McCarthy was going to be on The View, and talking about how she overcame her son’s autism. I am familiar with Jenny’s story, and had caught the last ten minutes of her and Holly Robinson-Peete talking about their autistic children on Oprah last week. Actually, that segment interested me a lot, but unfortunately I was on the tarmac and they turned the satellite system off so we could get our plane in the air. By the time they turned it back on, it was Dr. Phil talking about plane etiquette (how ironic).

Later in the afternoon, my mom called me to see if I watched The View. I told her no, actually I had been busy all afternoon, and it slipped my mind (Actually, I can’t stand The View. They never shut up long enough to let anyone actually talk. I mean why bother having a guest on the show if you’re going to cut them off every 1/8 of a second?) So of course mom gave me the verbal play-by-play of the show. How Jenny first realized her son had something wrong with him (... just like Kierra you know... the way she arched her back and tip-toe walked), and how no one would believe her (... just like when you pushed your pediatrician to evaluate her even though he didn’t want to). Typical mom-daughter-television show transference. I mean my mom means well - don’t get me wrong. She’s only trying to help. I just listened to what she had to say. Then mom tells me Kierra should go for blood tests, and that I need to get her on a special diet because Jenny McCarthy’s kid was cured once she put him on these special anti-fungal medications and took all the gluten out of his diet.

Enter exasperated daughter’s sigh. Do people really think I’ve never read about any of these theories pertaining to autism? That if I thought there was a cure-all out there for autism, I wouldn’t have done it by now? How do you explain to someone who just wants to help that it’s all fine and dandy but my kid isn’t Jenny McCarthy’s kid? I told her gently that there is no “cure” for autism. You can manage the symptoms of it, but it never “goes away”. Mom insisted I go out and buy her book though, because if I read it, then I could decide for myself. Granted - I am always interested in people’s takes on autism, and what they have learned from their own journeys. But I’m far past the idea that reading a book is going to fix my kid. Come to my house and see my collection of books on the subject. I once too thought I could find the answers if I just looked hard enough. They I came to the conclusion that if highly-educated scientists can’t figure it out, what chance in hell do I have? I’ve come to terms with it a long time ago. This doesn’t imply I’m above not learning more. I don’t have all the answers, but then again, neither does Jenny McCarthy. She knows her son. She doesn’t know my daughter. She IS a strong advocate for her child. All things aside, this is the most important role she’ll ever play in her child’s life.

Still... I went out last night and bought the damn book. It’s not so much I’m hoping to find the magic answer in there. I think it’s more looking for a connection to another mom out there sharing her story with the world. Maybe to know that it doesn’t matter how famous you are, how much money you make - this is something that can affect anyone out there. I’m a firm believer that it’s only fact if it’s proven. I think I lost the optimistic me three years ago - once I immersed myself in the reality of what I needed to do to help my daughter now. Or maybe there really is still a part of me left in there that is holding out that impossible hope? How else do you explain this book sitting on my bedside table?

I honestly commend Jenny McCarthy, or anyone else for that matter, that openly speaks about how autism affects their life. I think awareness can only accomplish positive things. And for those out there that find that spark of hope out there in another person’s words - hang onto it. For really, in the impossibilities of every dream - at some point it was recognized as a reality.

SNIPS AND SNAILS, PUPPY DOG TAILS... OH AND TOES

2007-09-25T09:55:00.001-06:00

You know what I don't get? Childless people that get offended when you talk about children. Procreation is a fact of life people, whether you like it or not. You know what I also don't get? People that think of their dogs AS children. Before I get some pet advocates jumping down my throat let me elaborate my point. I TOTALLY get that pets are loved and cherished. They are always loyal and always there for you. But I've had pets and children - and I'm sorry to say it: my dog never held a candle to the love I felt for my babies. Not saying this means I didn't love my dog. Of course I did!!! He was most probably the best companion we could have ever asked for. But before I had kids (and just had the dog), I certainly never tried to compare my bond with the dog, as the same bond someone had with their newborn baby. And I certainly didn't get bent out of shape when people discussed their children in front of me.

Wonder where I am going with this. Wellllllll, you know it's coming!

I went to a birthday party for a friend of ours. She is currently pregnant with her third child, due next month. There were other acquaintances at this party, some we are also friends with, and some not so much. One person in particular, is a non-mutual friend, and would be the childless person in question. So of course, the hostess being pregnant and all, we were discussing birth and things she was starting to think about in terms of having the baby. Very logical topic I would say. Well every time we'd talk, all of a sudden this childless woman would interject with something about her dog. At first I just thought, ok, maybe she's feeling left out of the conversation. So we turned the topic to dog shows, breeds of dogs... and I might add she's also a vet. Anyways, we discussed dogs for a LONG time - long enough that I think that it's safe to return to the original baby discussion. You can tell she's getting annoyed by it. Rolling eyes, closing of eyes like she's being tortured with a potato peeler - seriously I was about to ask her if she was having a seizure.

So onto the dessert - I'm sitting there eating and the hostess's husband asks me about my epidurals I've had, since his wife has never had one. We're discussing it, and all of a sudden, I swear to God, childless woman shouts out, "I had to cut a cancerous toe off of a dog today. It was so gross!" I think every person in the room stopped their forks mid-mouth and just gaped at her. She's smiling away, because she has our attention (albeit by the grossest means necessary). I instantly get it - she's a major attention whore. Delighted in the fact she has everyone's undivided attention, she then goes on to tell us how she just snapped it off, lickity split. OK, well I don't really want to eat my dessert now. I'm totally disturbed by this mental image of some poor dogs diseased digits. I'm also wondering how she could think this was a good topic to discuss? I mean seriously, people are eating and you start to talk about rotten old dog toes. And for the rest of the night, this was how conversations went. Topic of interest - interjection about her dog - we talk about her dog. Any time I even brought up the kids, her eyes started to roll around her head like Cookie Monster. I'm assuming she'd prefer a dog biscuit though over an Oreo.

At the end of the night, we all gathered at the door, and politely said happy birthday, gave hugs, and looked outside at the pouring rain wondering if it would momentarily stop long enough to dash out. Jarrett said it was time to get home, because we had a babysitter. Childless woman states, "I'm so glad I never have to deal with that! I have my dogs!" OMG seriously!! You have your dogs! Does she realize that she sounds as ludicrous as some deranged cat-lady? Is she going to start wearing her housecoat every day? We get it - you don't want kids... you like to only have dogs! At this point, I'd rather be hit by lightening than sit in the foyer with this crazy person a moment longer!

Now my psychological theory will be presented shortly. Because let's face it, there is a reason for everything a person does. Things are never as simple as saying "I just like dogs". I'm pretty sure she's a little jealous over the fact that A) she's not in a relationship, B) she's not that young anymore, and C) all her friends are married with children now. It wouldn't be a stretch to assume that she wishes she was involved in A, B and C. However, she could just really hate kids and love being a dog owner.

My conclusion is this: not everyone wants the same things in life. Not everyone achieves the same goals in life. It has never been in my nature to sit there and condemn other people who have different interests than myself. I get that not everyone is maternal. Hell, not everyone is an animal lover. In these cases, it's probably best to not bring children into this world or own a chinchilla. But I will tell you this - you will never find me inappropriately talking about gross things about my children to sway the conversation in my favor. As for cancer dog toe lady, one thing can be said. She really likes her dog.

WEDDINGS MAKE ME CRY...

2007-09-24T08:06:00.000-06:00

Whew!!

It's amazing how life can be time-consuming huh? By the time I have time to sit down and write something, my mind is drawing a complete blank as to what I should write about. So I'll backtrack a bit - because I tend to do this when I haven't written in a bit.

To back up, my sister's wedding was interesting. As I mentioned before, it was a dry wedding so NO booze. It was Christian music only, so it's not like I was dancing my sober ass off to Sexyback. But, to be fair, it closed down really early. How could you expect it not to? I still wasn't a part of anything, other than the wife of the MC and the sister of the bride. But to be fair, the day wasn't about me.

The ceremony itself was nice. My sister looked awesome, and I'm very happy for them. Actually cried when she walked down the isle. His family is a bunch of cracker jacks - simply put. They acted like our side of the family was a bunch of heathens. Not sure why. His sisters are control freaks from hell, operating under the "holier than thou" premise. They were like gangsters controlling the ceremony programs. A lovely pair those two. His parents weren't much better. Funny story, I went through the receiving line and when I got to his dad, he asks me, "so who are you here for?" I kind of looked at him confused by his tone of voice, and said, "R is my sister." He LITERALLY looked at my chest, and dragged my hand away to get me out of the line!! I couldn't believe it!! I was only wearing a spaghetti strap style dress that came at my knee level. Nothing slutty about it. However, I guess if you compare it to everyone else's dresses... Just because I didn't have my collar buttoned to my eyebrows? I immediately felt embarrassed and pissed off - and wanted to go home. My brother, his fiancee, my best friend, my husband - all assured me I didn't look like a hooker. But for fun, for the rest of the night, everyone referred to me as the family tart. We still all managed to be the crude people we are. We figured if we are all going to hell, might as well go there being happy!

After dinner, a bunch of us went to the hotel bar and bought our "own" drinks. We couldn't handle it anymore - the sanctimonious attitude. I mean Jesus turned water into wine. At church, we drink the blood of Christ (a.k.a. wine). I'm thinking it's probably ok by Jesus to enjoy a sip or two. As such, we sat down and the guys watched the football game. We ended up missing the first dance actually (that's fine), and the bouquet toss (I can't catch it anyways, I'm married remember?) and the garter toss (I don't have a penis so I'm not eligible for this event either). At some point in the night, the wedding in the next banquet hall had turmoil. One of their bridesmaids collapsed and was being intubated in the hotel lobby. Pretty serious situation. While paramedics were there and all, I left them be in spite of my wound. I danced with my brother who seriously hurt my shoulder spinning me around, and he cut my foot up stepping on it. Cut to the point of blood. I'm serious - cut it up. Does he have razor blades in the soles of his shoes? I have a huge gouge in the top of my foot. I wasn't the only one. Both my nieces had bleeding blisters from the shoes their mom made them wear. All kids left the hotel without shoes and crying.

Once the wedding let out, around 11:30pm - we all went back to mom and dads. The true high-light of the night was when my grandma came downstairs and someone said, "Here's grandma" and she went to do this fancy bow - and let us this huge, greasy fart! At first no one said anything, until my lovely nephew started to crack up. We all couldn't help it - we started to laugh too. I shared my traumatizing "tit stare" story again with the family because let's face it - it was rude. And while this is the important point, I still have a few interesting facts that I have learned:

A) Just because you are religious, doesn't mean you can treat people like crap because (be honest old man), you are a man, and you were checking out my rack and got caught. Don't act like an asshole because you felt guilty looking at the Jezebel relative of your daughter-in-law.

B) My family still has their issues, especially uncles who can't let things go from when I was 17 years old (please get over it sir). I told you that you were stupid over 15 years ago. I was a teenager - we say this stuff!! Could you stop bringing it up at every family function? It's getting old.

C) Never buy Kierra a dress with hand-stitched beading, unless you don't care that she spends the evening plucking them off. She doesn't acknowledge you spent a ton on it, or that her mother can't fix it because she's totally incapable of even sewing a button on.

D) Don't dance with my brother - unless you have good insurance. Cut it up - I'm serious!

E) Don't stand behind Grandma unless you have a sinus infection, or are doing a Jackass-like skit. Old people fart a lot and usually don't care too much. They figure they've been alive this long; it's their God-given right to fart whenever they feel like it (although I think sometimes they don't even know they are going to, or have done it).

Have a great day!

WEDDING BELLES

2007-09-12T08:20:00.000-06:00

I'm off to my sister's wedding. Well not right now actually. Later tonight. We are flying out at 8:00 pm tonight. Which reminds me... smack husband who doesn't know better than to book flights 1/2 hour after their kids bedtime, and that arrives in destination around 11:00 pm. HMMMMMMM doesn't this sound like a recipe for disaster people?

Yesterday, in preparation for the event, I went and bought the girls purple fru-fru dresses. They are totally cute. My husband, who is MC'ing the event STILL hasn't written the speech. However, in his defense, the man makes presentations almost every day to executives. I think he can handle a wedding. Call me crazy.

I am still SICK!!! The past two days were miserable. I thought you know, in three days time I'd feel MUCH better. I'm even taking that enchanacia stuff that is supposed to cut your cold down substantially. Either it doesn't work, or if I hadn't taken it, I'd be dead by now. This morning I woke up totally unable to breathe through my nose, my ears are all plugged up and now it seems to be settled into my chest. NICE!! Flying with headcold? GREAT! My eardrums should implode somewhere on landing. If you hear a shrill scream from a country away, that'd be me. We are going to the doctor this morning. Only because this was the earliest we could get in. Sigh - I highly doubt any medication he gives me will be helpful for this evening.

Anyways, I still have packing to do so I should get a move on. For those of you noticing I haven't been a really good blogger lately - yeah I know. I suck. You can say it. Things have just been nuts lately so it's hard to sit down and just type out a few words. I will try to be better.

See you next week!

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

2007-09-09T18:52:00.000-06:00

OK so maybe not worlds... but situations that don't mix well. When those collide, you darn well know you are in for a day of hurting. I hurt... I hurt!

Yesterday, our friend Alana had a birthday and to celebrate, we had a Tiki party. Which meant dressing up all crazy, and drinking a lot of tropical drinks. This was fine. I showed up in the most "island" shirt I could find - which wasn't the greatest but eh - good enough. I did my hair up with a bunch of red flowers in the back - I figured this counteracted the awful shirt I was wearing. Throughout the course the evening, I had 5 margaritas (whoops lost count there) and something else that was pink and fruity. I wasn't drunk by any means, just feeling happy - and went home around 12:30. I should say I had a fabulous time, even though several of my friends were quite inebriated. One friend's husband asked to sniff the fake flowers in my hair - he was so pissed he wasn't sure if they were real or not. Another guy basically ousted his sex life as being dull with his wife. Ooopsy there fella - you sure aren't getting any for sure now! There are a lot more interesting quips I won't bother to share. Mostly because you never know who might be reading this, and what they may or may not remember from the night before.

This morning, I wake up feeling slightly hanging, but nothing major but also with a headcold. Now you put a minor hanger and a cold together, you know you are going to feel like complete and utter crap. Being on Dayquil - it doesn't make the hangover feel better. All I could think today is I can't wait for night so I can sleep. I think life would be a whole lot better if I could breathe out of my left nostril right about now. Plus Kierra is being a major PITA today - you'd think she'd been the one drinking last night. I'd hate to see her the day she turns legal.

So here's a lesson to all: Unless you are taking multi-vitamins religiously, are in wonderful health, and can hold your liquor better than me - I wouldn't attempt what I did in the last 48 hours!

SCHOOL DAZED, CONFUZED AND SCHMOOZED

2007-09-08T09:28:00.000-06:00

I absent-mindedly remembered (or forgot to remember) that I started to tell you about my run-in with the twins school earlier this week. BAD ME!!! I suppose for those of you left wondering, I should fill you in.

Tuesday, the twins had their staggered entry day. This seemed to go fine. Kierra had a few minor meltdowns but the teacher assured me it was fine and to be expected. Later that day, I get a call from the principal telling me that they might have to move the twins to the morning kindy class. Apparently there are 3 high needs kids in this class, and they didn't fully realize that one of the children were more high needs than they actually were. I tell her no we can't move to the morning, because Kierra has specialized services (in-home therapy) in the mornings. This can't be moved, and we had discussed this in April when I registered them for Kindy. She says ok that's right, and that's the end of it.

Or so I thought....

The next day (the day before school officially starts) I get a phone call in the morning from the principal again. She tells me she's sorry, but the twins will HAVE to move to the morning class. I tell her no, they can't. She says she realizes the problem it poses but there is nothing they can do about it! I'm furious!! How do they expect me to respond to this? I ask them why another child can't be moved, and she replies "there are reasons". Oh how stupid of me! REASONS!! Do any of them surmount to their children being forced out of therapy? Most likely not!!! I tell her it's not in the best interests for Kierra to loose therapy services. Her therapist can't simply switch from the morning to the afternoon! Again sorry.

I hang up and start to flip out! I mean fully flip out! I call Jarrett and the moment he answers I start to bawl incoherently to him about the situation. I'm not sure if it took the third time of my explanation before he understood what I was exactly saying. Of course this pisses him off! Then the principal calls back on the other line saying, "Just wait, we're trying to sort this out. Go relax and have a coffee until we get back to you." EXCUSE ME! Don't tell me to relax!!!

Now I call the foundation Kierra gets her in-home services from. They tell me that my therapist would have to be pulled (as of the next day), and they would have to re-assign someone else, WHICH COULD TAKE UP TO TWO MONTHS!! So my kid would have NO therapy for TWO months! I didn't think the situation could possibly get worse until I was told she would probably have to be re-assigned a new speech therapist, occupational therapist and psychologist!

Fully expecting to go to the school that day, and reeming the principal a new one, I make arrangements to have someone watch the girls for a few hours. A fresh headache is coming on and I'm popping motrin like M&M's. Finally the principal calls me and tells me that they moved another student (bully for you!), and that the twins can remain in the afternoon class........ for now! I say what does FOR NOW mean? Apparently if it's still a problem, they reserve the right to pull them out of that class and put them in another. OMG are you serious? Part of me is happy that this isn't going to mess everything up, the other part of me feels sick thinking I'm going to have to re-live this moment again!

Fast forward two days. Everything seems fine. The twins are enjoying their new class. Last night around 8pm, I get a call from who? The principal. She just wants to comment me on this short story I wrote and distributed to the teacher about being friends with someone with Autism. I had a copy for every child/parent with my information if they wanted to discuss it more. First off, I don't think kuddos are necessary. She's my kid, and as such, I do this because I'm trying to develop a good relationship from the get-go with Kierra and her classmates. Second, she's clearly kissing my ass telling me how wonderful I am. Then she goes on about how the girls are doing wonderfully and how happy they are to have them in that class. I politely tell her the girls enjoy it too. Me and hubby had to laugh: how desperate can you be to call someone up on a Friday night because you know you regally pissed them off earlier in the week? I should be happy I suppose. This week could have ended very differently: me highly medicated.

So there you have it! Who would've thunk that my children's first week of Kindergarten would be so emotionally fueled???? Then again, if you knew the history of me, you'd know this would be the more likely scenario. Things can NEVER be simple around here!

SUMMER WOES... NEW F0UND FOES

2007-09-05T14:49:00.001-06:00

First off... I'm BACK!!!! I know, long time no type. I missed you all though if it's any consolation. I wonder how many of you will be back to read my witty remarks LOL.

So short story: My visit home wasn't really all that and a big mac. In fact, wish I didn't go. No need to get into all the gory details, but let's just say I would've been happier to stay home. The only shining moment was my best bud Christy asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (which I was totally excited about).

Things I learned on my trip: A) my mother likes to pick on my about my weight, B) my sister is a stress-case and should be avoided at all costs, C) mom's isn't as fun when the plasma t.v. kaputs the second day of the trip, D) mom's isn't as fun when you don't have a computer, E) you can't swim in your parent's out door pool when the weather really sucks, F) the bed at mom's house sucks and should never be attempted to sleep upon, G) life is harder when you don't have your husband to help you with the kids for two weeks, and H) sitting in the van for 15.5 hours doesn't feel any better when you know you have to do it again in 13 days time.

As I said, better off staying home.

Then I get home, run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, because the girls start school the next day and I have to buy all the ballet stuff for Jenna and Karis. Seems easy no? Well not really. I paid about $145.00 for their ballet clothing SHEESH!!! I'm going out on a limb and saying total rip-off. That and they better like ballet!! Then today the principal of the school tries to screw up my entire life by switching the girls from an afternoon program to the morning (I'll tell you tomorrow about THAT story). So today was stress-from-hell. Maybe I should have stayed at mom and dad's after all?

Anyways, I'm looking forward to catching up with all of you!!!!

NATIONAL LAMPOONS SUMMER VACATION IS ABOUT TO BEGIN

2007-08-17T12:26:00.000-06:00

Hopefully we aren't hog-tying Aunt Edna to the roof of the car... or dragging a poor dog down the highway... but we are about to embark on our own Griswold family adventure!!

My bags are semi-packed and ready to go. Today has been a little helter/skelter because (I can't believe I'm admitting this) - I'm totally disorganized. Usually I have my lists of stuff. Nope. I have clean clothes piled up ever where and suitcases waiting to be filled. I have no doubt I'll get it done before I go to bed (I may be going to bed at 3am though). But the plan is to get up at 6am and be out the door at 7am. HA!!! I say HA because my husband NEVER gets out the door in time; even though he sets the "leave by" time. Hypocrite no?

This week, we enrolled Karis and Jenna into ballet classes. I would have enrolled Kierra but I have to be honest, I don't think she'll participate or follow direction and it's too much to pay for a child who just does their own thing. Jarrett decided he'll take her for ice skating lessons. So she'll enjoy that. I am smart - I must say. I knew better than to go to registration and my kindly and oblivious husband offered to go. I told him, it starts at 5:30 - be there early. He got there around 5:15 and there was a line-up out to the sidewalk! LOL - this is where my smartness comes into play. I KNEW this would happen. He was my sacrificial lamb. He stood there for an hour, amongst women and their crying kids. He was the only brave dad there. But by golly, he stuck with it, and enrolled our kids in dance. Cost us $780.00 for the year for the two of them (yes you can yell holy crap) - but what's done is done.

Back to our trip. So I'll be gone until September. I don't know how much access to the computer I'll have. I don't imagine too much. We do have to do the token stay at the in-laws, but I'm only going to have to stay there two nights. THANK GOD!!! Then the rest of the time I can be at my parents. I'm already having plans... involving my bud Christ and her little one to come swimming in mom and dad's pool every afternoon. We are also going to go wedding dress shopping for her, since she just got engaged last month! I'm so psyched!! Can't wait. The only thing that sucks is Jarrett flies back home on Monday and we won't see him for ten days. He has this thing called work - so he's more than generous to drive us to mom and dad's, fly home... and then fly back to pick us up again. Even after that dance class registration stunt I pulled... Isn't he a doll?

My sister is also trying to recruit me to help her with last minute wedding things. She's getting married in less than a month, and is totally un-prepared! It's insane. They don't even have a DJ yet??!!!! WTF? I'm not her matron of honor or anything for that matter, so I may idly sit by and smile at her chicken-with-its-head-cut-off routine. She would be organized if I had a part in it you know. Ah vindictiveness. It's all good though.

When we finally get back, I have exactly TWO days to get the twins all ready for school. We get home the Sunday, they have staggered entry on Tuesday, and start full-time by Wednesday. Plus I'm the class organizer person thing-a-ma-jig. I basically call parents and harass them to volunteer. I'm sure by November, everyone will have blocked my number and will have chat rooms designated to how much they hate me.

Anyways, I should get back to the art of packing. Lord knows no one else is going to do it (especially someone whose wife filled up the van, cleaned out the van, picked up his dry cleaning and bought batteries because she apparently isn't busy enough). That's fine - he's bringing home dinner tonight! So take care all and I'll be seeing you!

And for good measure while I'm gone...

T MINUS TWO

2007-08-16T09:00:00.000-06:00

I am in the midst of trying to clean my house, wash all the clothes and pack for a two week trip to my mom and dad's in exactly two days. So far, I managed to only get the girls' clothes washed (hey that's 3 loads), plus I did all the towels and socks. I haven't cleaned bupkiss yet - which is driving me nuts. I don't have much time left to get it done.

So I'll be missing until I get it done!!! I'll post tomorrow with something more witty!

PAIN IN THE ..... BACK

2007-08-13T09:33:00.000-06:00

Oh my aching back!!! Don't ask how it happened - because I honestly don't know. One minute I was fine, the next it felt like my sciatic nerve was going haywire, followed by back spasms. This was Friday night. Saturday was much of the same, as was Sunday. Finally here is Monday!! My chiropractor's office is open (THANK GOD!), so hopefully he can fix me up. The whole right side of my body is screwed up. From ribcage to hip.

The reason I'm really worried about it is because I'm going on a 16 hour car ride this Saturday to mom and dad's. I honestly don't think I can sit there like that if my back is all jacked up. I'm hoping whatever the problem is, it's easily fixed. I'm positive my husband doesn't want to listen to me bitch and bitch across three Provinces.

I haven't been to my chiro in almost 6 months or more. When I first started to see him, I was there twice a week. Turns out my spine has major curvature that they figure was from when I was born (I was born face up). This would explain why I could never touch my toes - EVER. If your spine isn't straight, you aren't bending over too much. It might also explain why I had a hell of a time trying to birth my kids. My pelvis was also twisted, which is why one leg was a tad shorter than the other. You'd think this would be a huge problem. Not so. My doctor stripped my muscles so they would learn to hold my bones where they SHOULD be. I still have a bit of curvature, but it's a lot better. The spur on my vertebrae can't be fixed without surgery, and was from spinal compression. I can live with that. It's a hell of a lot better than being some old lady who is so hunched up, all she see's is her sagging tits and her orthopedic shoes.

Back to my point: so I'm trying to function the last few days in pain. I could see if I had been in a car accident or something, but when you are just sitting there and all of a sudden - BAM - it's odd. It also freaks me out because I don't want this sudden back issue to spring up on my during my trip. So cross your fingers that things are put back in place easily, and stay the hell there!!!

DON'T FORGET...

2007-08-11T08:12:00.000-06:00

If you are into scrapbooking, and would love the chance to win some free scrapbooking materials, enter K8's contest and you could win some great stuff.

All you have to do is copy and paste the link from her page and mention her name, where she's at, and you are entered to win! You also need to email her to let her know that you are in the contest!

As you can see, I would really like to win because I totally am a scrapbooking junkie and hey, free stuff is awesome!

OK I'll stop now, because I'm being rather obnoxious....

OK maybe just once more LOL

And just because I saw this and thought it was funny....

My blog is worth $17,500.74.
How much is your blog worth?

Who would've thunk my thoughts were worth something?

DRESS IT UP

2007-08-10T08:07:00.000-06:00

Dear Shop Owner,

I am wondering what kind of business you are running. I had come into your store over two weeks ago, looking for a dress to wear to my sister's wedding. I found one that was perfect, except for the fact it was one size too big. After what seemed like a lengthy conversation, you told me you could get one from a store 3 hours away (although you first suggested I DRIVE there to get it myself). I suggested you have it delivered here since I was paying over $250.00 for it. You told me that your store policy requires a 20% down payment on the dress, which I readily paid. You told me you would call when the dress came in (in about a week).

I called your store last week, to ask about the status of my order. The clerk simply said, "Have we called you?" I said no, to which she snipped, "Well we'll call you."

Yesterday I was at the mall, and decided to check on the order status. The first question was "Did we call you?" Me, getting a bit pissy, told you I'm leaving town for two weeks, and I would rather find out NOW when the dress would be here. You flipped through your little binder, couldn't find it (because apparently you filed it by my first name, not my last name), and then finally found it and declared the dress was UNAVAILABLE. I wasn't sure what that meant, since you were standing there like an idiot. When I asked for clarification, you checked your computer and said that the smaller size I needed was sold already from the store you were supposed to get it from. I asked when you knew about it, and apparently two days after I first came in.

Now, here is my issue. You KNEW the dress wasn't coming in, but you didn't call me. When I called you last week, you could have found out then it wasn't coming in, but you refused to look. When you knew it wasn't coming in you didn't offer me back my 20% down payment, which you should have considering you weren't trying to get the dress from another store elsewhere. After I got in your face, you look in your computer and see there are several dresses in the size I require, in other stores in Ontario, which is three Provinces away. I ask if you can get it from there. You hmmm and hawww, and I remind you that you still have my money, and that you should have called me when you found out you couldn't get the other dress. You tell me that you can fax the store in Toronto, but it'll take a few weeks to get here. Then you tell me you can't guarantee that I'll have it in time for my sister's wedding.

By now, I'm ready to pop a vein in my head. I try hard not to yell at your ignorance, since my children are with me. Your clueless clerk tries to show me other dresses, which are totally hideous. One is metallic bronze (am I from the 80's and a streetwalker?), and another is a black and white polka dot fru-fru dress that would be appropriate for a 16 year old girls' Sweet Sixteen party (I'm 31 by the way). I demand I get my money back, and you are shocked. After all, why should it bother me that I may or may not have a dress five days before my sister's wedding. You then suggest I buy the larger size and alter it (we went over this already - you can't alter a dress that is hand beaded by the seams). THEN you insult me by telling me that the size small wouldn't fit properly anyways, even though I have over an inch on each side in the larger one.

Decided to be distinguished, I leave your store without punching one of your clerks in the head or kicking the crap out of a mannequin. I would just like to add, I will NEVER set foot in your store again EVER! And if this is your idea of customer service, I'm shocked you are still in business.

Sincerely,
Unsatisfied Customer

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

2007-08-08T12:18:00.000-06:00

How many of you parents out there are currently, or have experienced, the dreaded "bad dream" phase? I urgently wave my hand in the air. I did it with Jenna for almost a year (very aggrivating when your kid won't tell you WHAT the dream is about), I'm doing it with Karis (same as the first, second verse).

Hubby and I figured maybe Kierra doesn't dream - or that her dreams are a lot different than typical children. I mean, how should I really know? I can't exactly simulcast the dreams she has. But the one thing I have noticed is that ever since she started sleeping through the night around eight months of age, Kierra simply NEVER wakes up at night. She certainly has never cried out in her sleep, or had a bad dream. I found it fascinating really - why wouldn't she? My question was answered last night - Kiera does in fact, have bad dreams.

Around 3:00 am I woke up to crying, figuring it was probably Karis. As I woke up a little more out of my Advil PM stupor, I realized the cry was Kierra. I was startled, and ran out of the room and down the hall to her. She was just lying in bed, crying and very upset. When I tried to comfort her, she asked for her daddy (sheesh that's kinda a kick in the pants). So I went to get Jarrett and as soon as he walked in the door, she calmed down and went back to bed.

Jarrett and I are stumped. Not only because less than a week ago went by that we were talking about this EXACT subject, but we have no clue what the dream was about. With the other kids, they are capable of telling us, even when they don't. But Kierra doesn't really have much of a means. She does talk somewhat, but it's equivalent to a 1 1/2 to a 2 year old's speech ability. My husband asked me if this revelation is good or bad. I looked at him in surprise and said, "How can it be bad?" I guess he was worried this was a negative impact in her progress. I, however, think the exact opposite. Shouldn't it be encouraging that Kierra's mind would work in a way that would produce a dream that would worry her? That she is thinking beyond perhaps her rigid ways? Or maybe it means totally nothing - she's just a five year old girl that finally had a dream scary enough to make her want her daddy.

But really - I can't help but wonder about it.

MOVING ON UP, DOWN... ALL AROUND

2007-08-07T10:42:00.000-06:00

Whoops - I've been absent (smacks own hand). With the week-end, and it being the August LONG week-end here in Canada, you'll have to excuse me for not wanting to be a slave to the computer. To be perfectly honest, I don't spend much time at home lately, or at least in my house. It's too nice to sit inside. Soon enough our whole month of summer will be over, and I'll be held captive in this house once again.

So new on the home front... my husband is determined to get us relocated to Houston, Texas next summer. It's his so-called mission in life. He was there again on a business trip last week. He says he truly misses living in the States, and being in Calgary never has felt like "home". *Sigh* - who am I to argue? I made living in Michigan a living hell. I was so unhappy there - if it hadn't been for the three babies I was taking care of, I might've had more time to complain. To be honest though - I'm not exactly vetoing the whole Houston move. I too enjoyed living in the States. And I'll say it - there are things that I miss about it. For one, adequate medical care. 'Nough said. It may be "free" here (it's not, you pay for it in your gargantuan taxes), but you get what you pay for. This is particularly bad in Calgary because we are had a major population influx, and didn't get the matching influxes in our medical care, police, fire department or schools. Too many people - not enough resources. It's really sad. Plus, service when you go anywhere completely blows. You can sit in a drive thru at Burger King for at least 30 minutes because I think only two people are working there, each for $25.00 an hour. It's insane.

For now, Calgary is the place to be. It is probably the best place in North America to be with an autistic child. Only because Alberta is a debt free Province, and they have the best therapeutic resources for the disabled. Back in Michigan, Kierra was considered "lucky" to get two hours a week in therapy services. Here, she get's 3 hours a day, five days a week. PLUS she got her special ed pre-school services damn near free, and that was 20 hours a week as well. I think the move here was the best thing we ever did - because it is when we saw the most progress in Kierra. Plus I actually do like it here. We met good friends, I love my house, and I love living the City life. I don't think I could do the small town thing again. I've been acclimated to the hustle and bustle of city life. However, once Kierra hits grade one (next fall), she'll no longer have those extended services (she'll just get what the board of education offers), so we have no reason to stay other than we want to. The great thing about hubby's company is that it's international, so he can move pretty much anywhere they operate a pipeline.

Part of me wishes we could move back to where the family is. Even living in Calgary, I'm still isolated from them. I haven't lived with or near family since I moved out after high school graduation. I'm used to it I suppose - not being there for all the holidays and missing out on birthdays and what not. Unfortunately, Manitoba doesn't exactly have the financial gain for hubby that Alberta does. But I wonder if I'll ever look back and regret not being closer to family. I'm sure I will at some point. I remind myself constantly that we have to do what's in the best interests of "our" family. Still, I wish I could pick up selected members of the extended one, and bring them where ever we go. Others... I'm content to let em rot where they are (LOL I'm not full of animosity or anything).

One thing is for sure, we just never know where we'll end up next. Occupational hazard and all. But that's the way we roll. Never stay anywhere too long, and always looking for new adventure on the horizon.

RECALL FOR LEAD PAINT

2007-08-02T08:39:00.000-06:00

So I'm sure many of you have read about the massive recall of Fisher Price toys. It is a nationwide recall - because these toys have lead paint on them. When I first heard about it, I didn't really worry too much. Until I saw that over 900,000 toys were being recalled. When I scanned the list, my heart dropped. My children own almost ALL of the Dora the Explorer products being recalled. Some of the figures which Kierra puts in her mouth.

I'm now in seek and remove mode. Once I do that, I'll re-check all the serial numbers (I'm sure they are the ones though), and do what I have to to get my money back. This is complete bullshit though. I'm also calling our pediatrician to make sure that the girls don't need blood tests to check for lead poisoning.

Please look at this list and check all your toys that you think could be subject to this recall.

http://www.service.mattel.com
Recall hotline: 800-916-4499

Consumer Product Safety Commission
http://www.cpsc.gov

GOOD NIGHTS... GOOD FRIGHTS

2007-07-31T08:50:00.000-06:00

I am one of those people that cannot stand to be in this house at night by myself. Children excluded of course; it's a give-in that they'll be with me. So I'll elaborate and say I hate sleeping in this house when my husband isn't home. He is gone for two nights - which normally isn't a big deal. In fact, he barely goes on business trips (especially over night ones). This is a special circumstance however, and so I have to deal with it. During the day it's fine, although by the time I put the kids to bed, I am silently cursing his name for not giving me the usual 2 hour reprieve I usually get from the time he gets home until the kids are tucked in. As I said, it's part of work and can't be avoided. But the night is different. That's when I start becoming a total freak.

I think I have separation anxiety or something. I'm always envisioning that someone will break in the house or something like that. I sweetly remind my husband if we had an alarm on the house, I wouldn't be so paranoid. He tells me that the chances of someone breaking into our house are slim. We live in a highly populated area, in a cul de sac without many escape routes. Statistical analysis aside, I still don't feel secure if he's not here with me. I jokingly told him I know I can outrun him in case of a home invasion - so he's increasing my odds considerably for a narrow escape. If he's not home, I have to book it with three kids. Plus the house is so big, I probably wouldn't even know someone was there until they were standing over my pillow. Yes I have issues.

Also, I think part of it is I hate to sleep alone. I'm used to my lumbering bear beside me. He's been there for the better part of 14 years - so when he's not there, I feel his absence. He admits he sleeps like crap in hotel rooms because of this exact same reason. So last night I lying in bed at 12:20am, with no inkling of falling asleep. I decided maybe it'd help to have a bed mate... so I went to Karis' room, plucked her out of bed, and snuggled with her in mine. At first she had no clue what was going on. She was snoozing away contently. Then at one point, she opened her eyes, smiled at me in the dark, and turned around and farted. Lovely - just like her father. We had a nice little cuddle for about an hour. Then I remembered she is the worst person in the world to share a bed with. She wriggles, flips, kicks and clings to you like saran wrap. After I had enough of our little hug session, I delivered her back to her own bedroom, where I gratefully spread-eagled across my own mattress happy to have the bed to myself. By this time I was so tired, I couldn't care less if three axe murderers came in and had a tea party at the foot of my bed.

It's amazing how sleeping with a three-year old can change your perspective of lonely nights.

PARENTING 101

2007-07-30T09:26:00.000-06:00

It's so funny when you meet "new" parents. They seem so self-assured that they have a handle on things. They politely turn down years of parenting advice because they, in fact, have their own parenting ideologies by which they live by. And nothing is funnier than watching a new parent realize they don't have all the answers after all.

This week-end, we went to a birthday party for our neighbors child. We are all good friends, so we all came bearing gifts. The girls all decked out as princesses (as this was the dress code). One of our mutual friends (and one of J's poker buddies) came with their six month old daughter. I haven't seen her since she was a newborn and she was such a sweetie pie. Of course we all came out with our horror stories about when our own kids were babies. Funny things they did, embarrassing instances where we were in public and they threw up on us.

As we started to discussion introducing solids, the mother took a red bell pepper from the vegetable tray and let he baby gum it. Since she didn't have any teeth, she figured it was reasonable to do so. I kind of looked at my other friend with a "what the hell is she doing" look, since they just finished saying they introduced rice cereal the same week. Figuring I'm not about to interject, she goes on to say that the baby really seems to enjoy the pepper. All I'm thinking is for a tiny little tummy, perhaps a gassy old pepper isn't the best thing to give her. That and what if she got a piece of it off. The mother assures us that since she doesn't have any teeth, this can't happen (see where this is going yet?).

So she hands the baby off to the daddy, who continues to let her suck on this pepper. All of a sudden, I catch a flash of red chunk in her mouth and yell, "She's got a piece off in her mouth!" and proceed to push her forward and sweep her mouth. By this time, the mom is frantic and the dad looks like he's in shock. They get the piece out (as big as a dime) and the baby starts to cry. No doubt because she was a little taken aback by these adults assaulting her over a piece of red bell pepper. However, she quickly calms down - no harm, no foul. You can tell she's rather embarrassed though. After all her expert proclaiming and such. All the veteran parents just eye each other with the "you'd think they'd listen" expression and say nothing, only offering comfort to the newbies who's six month old almost choked on a piece of veggie.

After about five minutes, we were all over the incident and talking amongst ourselves, when the father, still holding the baby, offers the baby the red pepper again! At this point I'm thinking, "Are you total void of intelligence here?" and finally say, "Do you really think that's a good idea seeing she just had a close call?" He blushes and puts the pepper away. You know of course, after they left, we all talked about how amateur they really are.

But that gets you to thinking... or at least me anyways. Was I like that when I first had my kids? I don't think I was, but then again... For me, I was so overwhelming with having the twins, I was happy to accept any tidbits of help I could possibly get. I also learned quickly that all my preconceived notions of how I would parent were idiotic and coming from the brain of someone who never had a child. It's so funny though - how some of us refuse to budge from those mindsets even after they are in the game already. Perhaps to admit they were wrong is a lot worse than to be made an example of in public. In any case, I was happy the baby was fine. However, I highly doubt they learned that they didn't have all the answers. They just learned not to give a baby a pepper to munch on.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

2007-07-27T07:52:00.000-06:00

Whew!!! Kierra has been giving me a run for my money that last week. I'm not exactly sure what is going on with her, but to sum up in one word: Tantrumrama!

Every little thing seems to set her off lately. She spied a favorite shirt of hers in the laundry pile and when I wouldn't give it to her, she followed me around the house for about 4 hours screaming and pitching fits. When working with her therapist, she's being extremely rigid and doesn't want to do the task asked of her. Every time she gets upset, she's either screaming or crying. It gets to the point I just want to cancel her therapist for the day just to get some piece and quiet. I can see how hard she is pushing her, and how frustrated Kierra is becoming. Maybe it's hard for us to remind ourselves how little she still is. Maybe we've been so hell-bent on getting this kid on a roll; we focus more on the autism than the child. If I need a vacation from it all, I think maybe Kierra needs a vacation for it all as well.

So me and the man have made an executive decision to go to my mom's for a week in August. All we are going to do is sit poolside and relax. I think it would be great for Kierra (and for me!). Thinking logically, this kid works longer and harder than most adults. Until school vacation, she was doing therapy all morning, having 1/2 hour lunch, and then going to school for therapy all afternoon. She's been doing this since she was three years old (she just turned five). Although she has made great advances by leaps and bounds, part of me is scared of her suffering a therapy burn-out. So hopefully our little get-away will do her some good.

Today I've decided we are doing therapy at the Zoo. Social outings actually are a part of her therapy, but in a way, it's not really work. It's fun - which I think she could use. After that, I'm putting out the kiddie pool, and we are just going to sit in the sun and mellow.

For me, I've pretty much hit stress toleration points. It's those moments in your mommy hood where you honestly say if you don't get away from your kid, you are going to put her in the drop box for the homeless at the grocery store. I've usually prided myself on my ability to tough it out through some miserable times. But when it's every single day for a week - after a while your cool starts to shake loose. Last night I declared shopping night, and ditched the kids with hubby. In hindsight it was a good trip: I bought two gowns and two bathing suits for upcoming occasions. I just hope the next day brings a happier Kierra.

A FUZZY GRIM REAPER

2007-07-26T08:17:00.000-06:00

I came across this article on the web today (some of you may also have read it), about this cat Oscar. Oscar lives in a nursing home where most of the elderly are living with dementia or terminally ill diseases. He has been living there for the past 2 years - he was adopted by the staff when he was a kitten.

The thing about Oscar is he can predict when someone is about to die, within a 4 hour time frame. Sounds crazy huh? But apparently he has been right about over 25 deaths. He simply curls up beside the person who is about to die. Doctors and nurses first thought it was a strange coincidence but now think he can actually tell when someone is about to die. Apparently when the staff sees him take his place beside a resident, they immediately call the family members so they can arrive in time.

So people are speculating whether he knows this based on the cues of the nurses, or if he really have an ability to perceive when someone is about to die. I personally think it's instinctual. I mean if an animal can tell a storm is coming, why can't they know death is coming? We already know that animals have sensory abilities much more magnified than humans. Perhaps it's the release of a chemical before death or something. I mean how does a bloodhound track people? Smell. There are even pets that can sense when someone is about to have a seizure. Is it so hard to believe that a cat wouldn't smell death?

Hopefully the residents don't really know the association with this cat and the life beyond. I know I would be freaked out if this cat perched beside me! However, perhaps it is a comfort to have a furry friend puring beside you as you slip away. In any case, I thought this was reallly interesting.

VACATION HI-JACKING?

2007-07-25T10:56:00.000-06:00

OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

So my intimate cruise for two to Baja has now become party of four and very un-intimate cruise to Baja. Care to know the gory details? Ah I knew I'd peek your interest my pretties!!! This is why you come here no? To get the nitty gritty on my so-called life.

So right after we booked, Jarrett went to a poker game with some friends of ours. You know how it is: they let their guts hang out, talk about their wives, and most likely watch porn as they play Texas Hold Em ... basically dare to act in the most extreme opposite way they possibly could when out of the delicate earshot of women who could make their lives miserable. I can't blame them - let's face it. Not all about the trip to Vancouver was divulged. He would have a tad of a coronary I'd think. Anyways, Jarrett mentions to our friend and neighbor we are going on this fabulous cruise in October. No biggie - it wasn't exactly a secret. They themselves were planning on renting a house in Mexico in January. Sharing vacation plans - it's just something we always do.

Fast forward a few days: they are coming with us now. At first I was a little put off. I honestly didn't think they would come when we first started to talk about it. I mean I was just being courteous at first, saying yes it would be fun if we all went. No of course I wouldn't feel like they were imposing. After all they are our friends; and I didn't want to hurt them by saying we'd rather this be a two-some trip. Jarrett pointed out it wouldn't be so bad. I mean he was sure they'd do their thing and we could do ours, and we'd meet up at points to hang together. I said okay, I guess that's not bad. We can still have a romantic time. And so yes, they decide to book with us as well. It's fine really ... it'll still be fun.

Then she drops a bomb: she books the room RIGHT BESIDE US!! Ummmm okay. Jarrett agrees this creeps us out a tad. I mean it's not like they are in the same room, but lets face it. If you are having some loud, raunchy sex - you don't want the people you live next door to, to hear you. There is something to say for space. Well apparently not for them! She then tells me her travel agent said if she could get our booking number, she could book us together for everything!

Say what now?

I surrender this information. What else can I do? It's a classic scenario of being between a rock and a hard place. Too bad it wasn't more confined and didn't squish my head.

I'm not exactly one of those people that would say, "Whoa now!" Like I said, I'm kinda a sucker and I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Jarrett says well dinner arrangements would be okay, since we'd have to sit with 4 total strangers otherwise. I agree with this, saying ok - no biggie. Then she calls Jarrett last night to ask him if he wants to do something with her hubby on a shore excursion so that way we can do something "girly." We only have two ports of call: Ensenada and Cabo San Lucas. No offense to them, but I kinda wanted to do something with my hubby. This vacation wasn't to divide and conquer... it was to spend some relaxing time together sans kids. I suddenly feel like my entire vacation has been hi-jacked. Jarrett told her that we already had some excursions in mind and that we would be doing one of those. Implying if they wanted they could join us, but we aren't doing our "own" thing. I personally think he took the wind out of her sails. Sorry kiddo - but you know that's what we had planned from the get-go. Hell I'd even go marlin fishing with the man. I just want to spend some time with him.

Jarrett assures me it will be okay. It just feels like the ideology of our trip has really changed. I do enjoy our friends company (don't get me wrong; they can be a TON of fun). But part of me feels we need to address this just so we get some guidelines in place now. They are an enthusiastic bunch (could ya tell???) but at the same time, we have our own ideas of what we want out of this vacation. Could someone please send me a hostage negotiator????

FEELING LEFT OUT

2007-07-24T08:21:00.001-06:00

So I should take a break for some honesty here. Something has been kind of bugging me a little. So I'm just going to do a rant about it, and then I'll be fine.

My sister.

She's getting married on September 15th, which I've mentioned. Me and my sister have had a different kind of relationship. As little kids, we were extremely close. As teenagers, I basically couldn't stand her. Once I left the house, I could tolerate her again, for only a minuscule moment. Jarrett would hedge bets with me how long it would take her to really piss me off. Usually within two days. The main problem was I didn't share her logic about why her life was in the shitter. I mean she was very young, had three children, and was already divorced by the time she was 24. All her problems were because of everyone else. She never owned up to her mistakes. Honestly, I didn't like her too much.

Then she met her soon-to-be husband. And she found religion. She made some new friends (ones that weren't idiots). And she changed for the better. She no longer picked fights, acting like a bitch. She was nicer to be around and definitely more calm. We all admitted that at the age of 29, she finally got her shit together and I couldn't be happier.

Herein lies the problem: For her first wedding, I was her matron of honor. For this wedding, I am no one. True she had 6 attendants in her first wedding, and this one she only has one. It is a close friend of hers. Logically I understand this. They are close. For the most part, I don't talk to my sister much. It's not because I don't like her... it's mostly because I can't relate to her even after all this life change. Instead of complaining and bitching, she's reciting Bible verses. Don't get me wrong: having Jesus and God in your heart is wonderful. But I don't want my morals/ethics attacked every time I have a conversation with her. I almost feel like being on the phone is a sermon. I have told her time and time again, I'm glad she's found her spiritual peace, but don't shove it down my throat.

But to be perfectly honest, I do feel left out of her wedding. One could argue I've been her M.O.H. before the first time. Yes to creepy, jerk-off husband number one. The useless sack of crap she was married to for less than a year. Part of me wants to feel included in her new marriage because this one is "right". The other guy we all knew was wrong but what can you say? I feel like a by-stander. I do realize I'm being totally whiny right now. I mean Jarrett is the Master of Ceremonies (he's a great public speaker). So even he is a "part" of things. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm not in my brother's wedding next year either (did I mention both of them were in my wedding party?), and my sister-in-law's alienation of me as a Godmother.

Don't worry - I will get over these things. I just figured I'll let it spill and get it off of my chest. I just can't help but feeling like I'm being left out.

SAIL AWAY WITH ME....

2007-07-23T07:58:00.000-06:00

I'm very excited to report that my darling, awesome, fantastic, endearing husband...

Booked us a Baja cruise for my birthday this October!!!!

I'm so totally excited! We are leaving out of San Diego on October 14th, and going on a 5 day cruise. The ports of call are Ensenada and Cabo San Lucas. My mom is coming to watch the girls for us. We went on a cruise of the Western Carribean back in 2005. It was awesome!! Of course you can't do the Carribean in October. Unless you want a hurricane to pick your ass up and land you in New Orleans somewhere. I prefer my vacations to be free of swails, typhoons and other earthly/waterly disasters.

In other news, my nephew went back home. Our visit was brief and strange. At one point he said he wished his mom was more like me (gee that didn't make me feel weird), and that he'd rather live with us (again, that didn't make me feel weird). I think that's probably typical 14 year old rationale at large there. The mom always looks greener on the other side I guess (or so I'm told). I remember being 14 years old - I'm sure I was a complete pill for my poor parents. In any case, the awkward silences and the fleeting capacity of my fridge have now ceased. And so there goes my crazy July. I had people coming and going - and I did some of the going out of town myself. I'm hoping August is a little slower, because I already have my sister's wedding in September and now my trip in October.

In other news, I have a new niece. She was born actually last Saturday. She's healthy and great. I wish I could be a lot more enthusiastic about it, however she was born to a sister-in-law who has made it clear I'm not considered part of this family. To elaborate, when asked about Godparents, the phrase, "There's no one left in the family to ask" was kicked about. Gee thanks. I guess I know where I stand. I won't go into detail about past problems we've had concerning our children, and Christenings. But let's just say SHE is a Godmother to one of my children. Apparently I'll never be one to any of hers. I'm not sure what upsets me more: not thinking I'm good enough or the fact I'm not considered part of the family enough to be included. I shouldn't let it bother me. I've pretty much washed my hands of them and their immaturity. But you know, it hurts just the same.

So I guess I have some dress shopping to do for my sister's wedding (which means the same dress for one of the formal nights on the cruise, and of course, buying a new bathing suit. ICK!!! This has also prompted me to loose some weight. I don't consider myself horridly overweight or anything, but I could stand to loose about 50 lbs. I have a problem with diets - I love food and I hate to eat salads LOL. But so far, I'm down about 6 lbs. It's a start, nothing I can really see as of yet, but at least it's six down and now six up. Wish me luck.

That's about it for me. Going to be hot this week. Nothing like feeling hot and sweaty. I can only think of one situation that makes that an enjoyable situation. African safari - sheesh you all have dirty minds!

TEEN SPIRIT

2007-07-19T08:29:00.000-06:00

I have a teen living in my house. No, some long-lost child from my past didn't resurface. I'd think I'd remember THAT! I have my 14 year old nephew staying with us for a few days. I thought it would be nice - seeing as we don't see him very often. He was only 8 months old when I started to date Jarrett. It's crazy to see him so big and with a deeper (albeit cracking) voice.

So the one thing I didn't anticipate on? Teenage boys are strange. I mean he barely talks. I don't know what to say to him, and I certainly don't know what to do with him. He just says "Yeah ok" or "that's fine". Sheesh kid would you talk or something??????? Jarrett informs me all teen boys are this way and to thankful he's not a girl. Ha ha - oh wait he has a point.

Another thing I didn't anticipate was how much they eat. Holy crap!!! I bought a rack of ribs only to find out he can polish off an entire rack on his own. Dang!! This kid is going to eat me into the poor house in a matter of days. I feel like I'm National Geographic or something. Today we will be watching the life cycle of the elusive teenage boy of the Serengeti. All I need in the background is some guys with gourds hanging from their packages and chicks with a stack of rings around their necks. Taking him to the Mall was an experience. He just mumbled, shuffled around. I'm wondering if he's in some sort of catatonic state that allows him to walk among us. Tried to add caffeine to him - that didn't do much.

Sadly enough, I know this isn't a taste of things to come for me. We have GIRLS only. Girls aren't like this. Teenage girls aren't quiet. They are loud, obnoxious, rude, hormonal and crazy. I will not have quiet moments. I will have "Please daddy can I have money" and "mom I hate you!" moments instead. I will have a lot of Tampax and Midol in my house. I will have tractor trailers pulling up to the front door stocked with them every month. My husband will invert into himself, inundated with estrogen and fearing for his life. Fearing his Visa will fall into the wrong hands. I'm sure every night, we will hold silent vigils in our bedroom, praying for their 18th birthdays to come, that we survive, and that they graciously take the sets of matching luggage we bestow upon them and leave our home.

Until then, I'll enjoy my sweet girls while I can. And until then, I will try to understand the brewding young man sleeping in my guest room. And go buy another $300.00 worth of groceries.

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!!

2007-07-16T19:58:00.000-06:00

Did you miss me? I missed you. Let's give us a hug here. MMMPHHHH!!!

So I know you are all eagerly awaiting this post, to tell you how my week-end with Lee and Janis was. It was FREAKING awesome!!! First off - these two are possibly the most funniest ladies you'll ever meet!! I'm serious! It's very seldom you find people who get your sense of humor dead on! I found two of them! Let me tell you more!!!
Friday, I got to Vancouver around noon, got to the hotel, where I was having a bit of a problem with the guy behind the desk. Apparently he couldn't find record of Lee leaving me a card key. Finally I told him to look under Janis, and then some crazed lunatic comes up behind me and grabs me - making me scream Alfred Hitchcock style in the Marriott!! Yes - it was Janis!! After my heart stopped palpitating - we hugged and went to the lounge for a drink (to wait for Lee who was doing the grande tour of Vancouver). While we were waiting, we spied three soap opera actors from the soap Y & R - Michael Baldwin, Lauren Fenmore and Esther. We thought that was pretty cool. Not Carrie Underwood - but then again - that's not all it's cracked up to be apparently right Lee?

Once Lee got there the party began!! We decided to grab lunch since Long Island Iced Teas and nothing in your stomach makes you kinda giddy. We went to this little joint, and I commissioned my first Bellini of our trip (A Bellini is a peach and grenadine slushy with lots of nice tequila). After that, we walked about, did some shopping. With some inspections of Lee's grande bra (both my and Janis head's fit nicely into the cups), and some flirting with the bellboy named Duncan (he was into the older ladies!) - we continued on taking Vancouver by storm. We even drank fishbowls FULL of Bellini. After that, my head was swimming like a fish let me tell ya!!!

Saturday brought on a wee bit of a hangover - and breakfast at Denny's (which didn't sit well). We then went down to Granville Island to do some shopping for the kids (in spite of no kids, we still managed to buy stuff for them - sad huh?). Then we hit the mall and shopped some more!!! We all got the neatest silver necklaces with these pendants that had sayings about friendships. I love em!! And, of course, sparkly martini glass toe rings - because they didn't have Bellini ones but that's close enough!!! We then hit Joe Forte's for some nice dinner (and bad behavior). Followed up by the drinks we started the whole trip with - L.I.I.T.'s. This is when Lee spilled her drink and we laughed like hoot owls!!! Swimming in the pool and hitting the hot tub came next (once the one-Triscut-a-week girls finally left - sheesh girls - eat a freakin' sandwich will ya??). Lee showed us her synchronized swimming moves - very eloquent. We decided to let it be known to Duncan we didn't appreciate his shunning us upon our latest traipse through the lobby.

Sunday morning, we had our breakfast, said good-bye to Michael Baldwin having his brunch, and gave lots of hugs. Me and Lee shared a cab to the airport, where we managed to have yet another fit of laughter! Honestly - these gals are so my comedic triplets! We did invent some catch phrases during our trip. One of which was "Says YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" which is in part of my altercation with a 90 year old woman in Walmart the day before I left. "Dontcha" - which stems from the Pussy Cat Dolls song... and Lee's favorite saying, "Yummy!" We also adopted southern accents for some reason - which is strange but nonetheless - it was comedic as hell.

I have in all honesty, never laughed so freakin' hard in my entire life. Like crying so hard you could pee your pants laugh!! I feel like I've been friends with them since childhood!! There was never that awkward moment (unless you count the french guy asking Janis to lick his nipple when she wouldn't give him any change). These are definitely women I consider to be my bestest buds, and will always be friends with. So girls - thanks for the bestest mommy vacation!!

AND I'M OFF!!

2007-07-13T07:54:00.000-06:00

Well today is the big day!!! In approximately 3 hours I'll be on my way to the airport. I'm very excited. I talked to Mamalee yesterday after she got to Vancouver. She insists the hotel is beyond awesome. I can't wait to get there!!!

So I'll be signing off until Monday!! Wish me an uneventful flight, and a great time!!! I will be back with lots of pictures and I'm sure, funny stories!!

Take care!!

SERIES OF RATHER UNBALANCED AND UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

2007-07-11T08:26:00.000-06:00

The scales of my sanity are tipping back and forth erratically right now. I'm actually a Libra. This means balance. I'm imbalanced... but you probably gathered that a while ago. Here are some instances of my life and it's tipping scales.

On one hand, I had a WONDERFUL hot stone massage for an hour last night, courtesy of my lovely, dashing, and debonair husband Jarrett. It was great and relaxing. Then later than night, I got a severe Charley horse in my left calf muscle, and screamed like a man getting a vasectomy. Ironically Jarrett had the exact same thing happen two hours before. He didn't scream like I did. He stood up, did the dance of pain on the carpet before telling me what he was doing. I thought he was doing a rain dance. We could use the precipitation.

I woke up to birds chirping happily this morning, sat up glad to be alive and well rested (minus the pain in my leg still)and realized my period started this morning. Mad dash like Olympic runner on steroids to the bathroom. Thank the Heavens I gave it some thought the night before. These are new jammie bottoms. I bought them especially for Janis (lol kidding Jan). Content to mash Midol pills into my maple sugar oatmeal this morning. The sublime crunch of ibuprofen and whatever else makes those so wonderfully relieving. AHHHHHH that's good PMS fighting plus wonderful for your cholesterol. When I'm in menopause, I'll just switch the Midol to my HRT pills.

Leaving for my trip in two days which I'm estactic about... only to realize I should have washed some clothes by now that I actually WANTED to wear on my trip. I will not wear Jarrett's polo shirt or a pair of My Little Pony panties, size 3T. Sense my guilt of leaving the kids and Jarrett is overly compensating for washing of all clothes that are not mine. Running out of lavender scented Tide. Will use reserves of the non-nice smelling stuff on my own laundry.

Treated myself to a French Manicure last night. Took the time to make sure the tips were done nicely, dried long enough, did the top coat, filed them. Then realized after should've painted my toe nails first. Using nail polish remover to clean off toes from last pedicure results in removal of new French manicure. Swear to self, drink some wine. Start again.

And last but not least, my neighbor is finishing her landscaping at the expense of my front yard and my fence. At first it was the removal of my fence post and then a panel of my fence. Then 6 inches of front yard dug down and missing. Yard looks like excavation for a new Donald Trump high rise. They didn't re-set my post deep enough and my gate doesn't close properly. Asked for a ride to the airport as a return of favor to molesting my yard with a backhoe. Informed she wants to go to the gym instead, sorry. I'll remember that the next time someone wants to dig for leprechauns or whatever in my yard.

Anyways, that is my day thus far! Hope you are having a more balanced day than me!

THE WEARY TRAVELLER

2007-07-10T08:20:00.000-06:00

I was cruising around blog land and read one of my usuals, MamaLee and had to laugh... As usual she's thinking like me!! This doesn't surprise me in the least. We refer to one another as each other's evil twins (I'm not sure which one is supposed to be evil though...). Once again she has stolen my thoughts.

Our big trip is coming up in exactly three days! THREE!!! She leaves on Thursday because she has to trek across the continent. She's a little worried you see. She's A) travelling alone, B) travelling Internationally (customs is always fun!) and C) coming to a place she's never been. I must reassure her that this, is in fact, Canada. We are a simple people (simple as uncomplicated LOL - not simple minded). Our immigration folks aren't quite as intense - and I say this with a lot of immigration experience. In the U.S., I hear they use a fish scaler to do cavity searches. Here in Canada, we are a lot more laid back. I mean we have animals on our coin currency. How can a place with caribou on the quarter, and a beaver on a nickle be intimidating? As I've already told her, just be mindful of our grizzly bears and mountain lions dragging you off and you'll be fine (LOL that's a joke by the way Lee). However, my comment about the crazy Canadian geese wasn't really a joke. Those feathered bastards will attack you!! I should know - I had a gaggle run after me once. But in all fairness, water foul seem to attack me often. Don't get me started on what happens to me whenever I visit a farm!! Birds sense fear you know!!!

Now I'm not going to pretend that I have quite as much to be worried about in this trip. But just the same, I'm already starting to get nervous jitters. Not because I'm scared to meet the girls (well maybe Janis a little - did you read about her chicken tendencies? I told you already how I feel about the birds!) We've given each other fair warning about each other's quirks. Janis has told us about her pocket change holding stretch marks (at least she doesn't have to carry a change purse) and well... Lee's heavy artillery (and I don't mean guns... or do I?) And I've already warned them that my Tommy Hilfiger pj tank top doesn't always hold my lovely bosom in at night. I mean I could wake up and one of the gals might be getting some fresh air (my husband doesn't seem to mind). LOL but I digress. Getting back to my main point of interest: I'm not a happy traveller unless both feet are planted firmly on the ground.

To back up, when I get nervous, I tend to get a very upset stomach. In fact, when I was in university and had a big exam, I tended to keep a lot of Immodium on hand. LOL nice huh? Now that I painted a pretty picture for you, you can appreciate what I'm getting at. You know, you're sliding into first? I figure as long as I starve myself for a few days prior, all should go smoothly. Besides, it's only one measly hour in the air. How bad can that be???? Right????

Well two years ago I took a similar length flight, flew first class for the first time, and upon take off, probably 10 seconds before the wheels of the plane left the ground, we hear this huge bang (Lee, probably stop reading this now). The pilot immediately hit the brakes and THAT was scary! I thought the plane was either going to flip or that we were all going to die. There was another huge bang after that. We all thought we had a bad tire. Stop on the tarmac and in the distance can see a fleet of fire engines tearing after us. A lot of fuss for a tire. After what seems an eternity they tell us we need to deplane (they towed us back to the gate). We get off, look at the plane from the window and do you know what we saw? Our engine, blown to bits and hanging off the wing because it was cracked!! HOLY SHIT!!! Good thing I took that Immodium before huh (and something to calm my nerves before!). What was worse, if that had happened any time after it did, even 30 seconds... we would've fallen like a rock to the ground.

I won't speculate past that. Jarrett's theory is if that's the closest thing to a "close call" in a plane I'll ever have, then I'm good to go from now on. Let's pray he's right!! He'll have to sell the children to gypsies or something. So MamaLee, don't you worry girlfriend!! You're going to do swell. Just make sure to take advantage of the in-flight cocktails they offer, and as Toni said, write you name on your panties (in Janis case, on her bare butt), and you'll be fine. Until then, I will eagerly anticipate meeting the girls in a few days!!!!

YIPPPE KAY YAY!!!!!

2007-07-09T09:12:00.000-06:00

Nothing like watching hundreds of pounds of untamed animal throw a cowboy in the dirt. LOL. We went to the rodeo - which was something else!! It's always amazed me how any human being would think it's a good idea to sit on a 1,800 lb bull and hope he lives another day. Then again - such is the spirit of the Wild West!!! We had a great time!!!! The show afterwards in the evening was great. Indian hoop dancers, Circ de Soleil acts - it was a real show-stopper!!! The weather was great. Beats last year where the rain pounder us and killed my cowboy hat. The best line of the day came when one of the bulls would NOT leave the stadium. I mean he was hell-bent on standing where he was, and no lasso or cowboy was making him go anywheres. So finally the announcer quipped, "Hey this bull is just like Paris Hilton." The other announcer says, "Paris? What do you mean?" And he retorts, "Paris didn't want to go into the pen either!"

I must also say there is absolutely nothing emasculating about a cowboy wearing pink. The theme for Stampede this year was Breast Cancer Awareness (which I think is an awesome cause). The catch phrase was "Are you tough enough to wear pink?" Apparently a lot of men are!!! There were men in pink shirts, bandannas, and hats. Women of course were donning the color as well... including myself. I bought a hot pink cowboy hat which I proudly wore!! The first night, they raised $140,000.00 to donate to cancer research! Now that's great!! I personally think next year they should do Autism awareness. I have half a mind to write to the President of Stampede and give him this suggestion.

I did find out the deal about deep fried coke? Are you ready for this because I don't think you are!!! It was NASTY!!! They basically take batter, drizzle it with coke syrup and then deep fry it. It amounts to a cup of twisty looking deep-fried worms. I'm thinking worms would've tasted better. Jarrett wasted $5.00 - he threw it in the garbage almost immediately. That's ok - I lost $5.00 in video poker later on in probably less than 10 minutes. Of course I had to sample "Those Little Donuts". Oh you know what I'm talking about!!! LOL. YUM!!!

On a happy note, my in-laws left this morning. I feel envious of those of you that truly enjoy your in-laws. Really I do. My father-inlaw INSISTS on reading newspaper articles out loud, even if you have no interest in hearing them!! I could be watching t.v. and he's telling me something about dingos in Africa. That and he's constantly asking what building are. How should we know? It's a city of over 1 million people - and we don't make it our business to know every street address and building! GAH!!!!!! Mother-in-law is more discrete. She likes to make innuendos as jabs at you. I just don't bite anymore - it's not worth it. It's like whatever I say, she'll find opposition to. Needless to say - they are gone... my sanity (what's left of it) can now mend itself and be restored. Besides, I'm going on mommy's vacation on Friday (which they told me to behave on - yes because I'm going to have crazy adultry sex and come home pregnant with some bastard child @@). I'm too psyched to let this last week sit badly with me!!

Anyways, I thought you might enjoy some pictures of us donning our cowboy gear. I particularly enjoy the girls hats. They are true rodeo princess fashion!

GIDDIUP DOGIES!

2007-07-07T08:16:00.000-06:00

So as I previously mentioned, we Calgarians are now kicking off our annual Calgary Stampede (dubbed the greatest outdoor show on this Earth). In all actuality it's the richest rodeo in the entire world. Cowboys here become millionaires! I wish I was a cowgirl.......

I also mentioned my in-laws are here (round of applause insert here). It's been okay thus far. We did the zoo (Mother in law almost ripped the skin off my forearm because she saw a snake and she's deadly afraid of snakes). We saw a good portion of the zoo (it's pretty big to walk the entire thing). We also went to Callaway Park, which is our local amusement park. I have to say that it was EXTREMELY hot. So hot in fact, skin could've boiled off of bones. Not what you'd normally expect in the Rocky Mountain region. But nevertheless HOT!!! We also spent a lot of time outside watching the girls play in their pool.

Yesterday we went to the parade. This is a LONG parade but I have a story associated with it. We bought assigned seating on bleachers late last year. That's how far in advance you need to buy them. But anyways, we get downtown and they assign the seats. These crappy bleachers that are done with plywood and that no normal human ass could fit comfortably on unless you are under the age of 10. So anyways, we are in row 4 of 5. Get up there, and these two large people sit on the row below us. First off, my knees are in their backs, and then the girls can't see over them. This sucks. Jarrett sees that the usher is letting people with small kids sit lower. He asks if we can too and she says "Sure as long as the people don't claim the seats." We accept and leave the in-laws, and sit on the first row. We wait for the parade to start. Now the disclaimer on the tickets CLEARLY states that if you aren't at your assigned seat by 8:30, you forfeit your seat. We were there by 8:00 am (did I mention we woke up at 6:00 am, took the smelly ass train downtown?). The parade starts at 9:00. So at around 8:50 the people who had tickets for our new seats arrive. The usher explains our situation and they get all confrontagious and tell the usher we need to get our of their seats. We say fine (fair is fair) but she's given away OUR seats now! I tell the usher that if she can kick us out of these ones, she can kick out the other people in our seats then! She's freaking out (you can tell she f'd up; she shouldn't have juggled people around). I LOUDLY mention I thought after 8:30 seats were forfeited anyways (LOL you know I have to make a point in everything). So she finds new seats a little further down in the front row. We accept. Sit down and the parade is NOW starting. Fifteen minutes into the parade, some guy comes up to us and asks if we have tickets for this particular seat. I look him square in the eye and say, "No because they gave away our seats to someone else so we are sitting here." He didn't know what to say. I don't think he was anticipating going head to head with bitchy mother of three wearing a pink cowgirl hat. Jarrett just tipped his cowboy hat over his eyes, probably trying not to laugh. I mean they moved us twice, and Kierra was getting really upset about it. The parade already started. In other words, get out of my face Mr. Bean, the clydedales are coming. So then the usher comes over, tries to find him a place. The whole bleacher is full!! So he ends up sitting on the pavement with his kid (not my problem you should've got there on time!). He didn't even shoot me a sideways glance either. Smart move buckaroo!

Oh before I forget, there was a pre-show. We all applauded emphatically as the cops took away some transient in handcuffs. I'm not sure what he did exactly, but three cops had him and he didn't look happy. You can tell we are all high-caliber people for entertainment!! Homeless dude in cuffs, and the crowd goes wild!! The parade itself was great. That was a lot of horse poo!!! They actually had three street cleaners (dressed up like broncos and bulls) come in waves every so often to clean up the crap. Jenna informed me she wanted to be in a marching band... and she wants to play the flag LMAO!!! It's a two hour parade (did I mention this) and we took turns with Kierra on our laps. We only had about two inches of our butts on the actual bench so she was killing us slowly. Finally after 1 hour and 40 minutes I told Jarrett I couldn't feel my arse anymore. Jenna announced she had to pee so we decided to collect the in-laws and leave (beat the rush for the train). I try to get through the crowd to no avail. Finally I ask someone to move and this woman gets in my face and says, "I'm trying to take a picture of that buffalo!" Then she hits me with her elbow as I try to go by. I just looked at her (it's not even a real buffalo okay?) and say "Well my kid has to poop so unless you want to summon one of those street cleaners, get out of my way!" If she really wanted a picture of a buffalo, she should've asked someone to take a picture of her butt!

We get to the porta-john and Jenna is freaking out. She doesn't want to go in. I get her in, open the lid and almost threw up. She wails, "I don't like it in here!" Dear, no one does! No need to elaborate past that - the mere thought send my stomach into convulsions. Took her a while but finally convinced her to go. Finally get to the train station, and the train is ALREADY packed. It took every fiber in my being that people didn't squish my children. But we did learn a few things. Next year, buy front row bleachers, buy some of those bench seats and bring nose plugs.

Today we are doing the chucks and the rodeo. We are leaving the kids at home. YAHOO!! LOL. I love my kids but sometimes you need to go be a cowgirl! Anyways, I should get moving along little dogies. My little dogies are running amuck as I type. My husband and in-laws are sleeping in. Would I be terrible to sic my little ones on them? Nawww!!!!!!!!

1,000 PARDONS

2007-07-06T13:07:00.001-06:00

My in-laws are in town and I don't have much time to get to the computer. Plus... we haven't been home much at all lately. Calgary Stampede officially kicked off this morning. We sat on assigned bleachers for 2 hours, our asses totally numb. The girls had a blast. I still say 2 hours for a parade is TOO long!!! Tomorrow is the rodeo and chuck wagon races.

Other than that, I do promise to post some pictures later on. I just don't have much time to sit in front of the computer. Please don't disown me LOL. I promise I will be back and be as fiesty as ever!! Please return to your regularly scheduled postings!

IT'S TAG TEAM TIME

2007-06-29T17:01:00.000-06:00

This is a yummy post of epic proportions. Anything to do with food, I swear I psychologically gain 5 pounds and lick my salivating lips.I was tagged by Jenny, who is new to blogger. I actually had been following her story on another site, and couldn't resist checking out her new blog! She's a charismatic writer, and her little one is truly adorable! I'm always a sucker for a cutie-pie (I have three - it's an occupational hazard ya know!).

Here are the rules:

1. Link to name of person that tagged you.

2. Include state and country you live in.

3. List top 5 favorite local restaurants.

4. Tag 5 other people and let them know they’ve been tagged.

OK, I think I did number one already in my intro. As most of you know, I live in Alberta, Canada. I have lived in both Canada and the States for some time. Love both countries, but I will give a shout out to our maple leaf lovers. Canada Day is July 1st!!! Woot woot eh???

HMMM the top five local restaurants for me would be:

1) Chiantis : Yes like Silence of the Lamb's (makes obscene slurping sound a la Hannibal Lector). They have the most amazing pasta and they have this wonderful hazelnut ice cream ... OMG seriously. It's almost better than sex (after note: I say this in caution - my husband could be reading it).

2) The Silver Dragon: This is an AWESOME Chinese restaurant. It's in downtown Calgary's Chinatown district, and OMG is all I can say. Everything there is just insanely great. The only thing I don't like is when I sit by the fish tank in the wall - the fish stalk me. Nothing like Koi staring at you when you are eating tempura shrimp.

3) Salt Lik: This is a great steak house here. I'm in love with it. The ambiance is awesome, but they have the best calamari I've ever eaten. You haven't had good calamari unless you've tried this (no distasteful groans - embrace the calamari!)

4) Hy's Steakloft: Steak again? Hell yes!! It's yummy!! LOL. I love going here whenever we can get a sitter. Although the last time I went didn't go so well. I came home with a horrible flu bug 3 hours later and let's just say it was a waste of whatever paid for my dinner.

5) Mi Ranchito: This isn't where I live; but back in Indiana where I used to live. It is family owned by this great Mexican family and only their family works there. It is by far, the best Mexican food I've ever eaten. The day before I had the twins, we went there and I totally pigged out (hoping to get things started - that didn't work). But man - they had the best seafood enchiladas!!!

So now for the tagging... OK - I'm going to tag Dari, Mamalee, Teri, Twisted Cinderella, and Sunshine. So grab your napkins and think munchies! Cheers!!!

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LOL oh this is funny - I'm taking the kids today to see Disney's new movie Ratatouille. It's about a mouse in Paris that wants to be a chef. Funny coincidence huh? That and I had to share a funny story. I was sunbathing in the backyard as I drank my crystal light and was giving Jarrett shit because he NEVER wears sunscreen. He's annoying and tans (not like albino me), but Jenna was listening and came and sat in the next lounger. She told me that I should marry someone else. I was completely shocked and said why and she told me, "Momma, daddy doesn't listen and you told him to put on his sunscreen. Daddy should always listen when you tell him what to do, and he's not listening and he could get the sunburn and that's not good. I think you should marry Jeff (our friend's husband) because he'll listen to you better." I started to crack up and Jarrett did too. Then I told her that it was a pretty harsh reason to dump poor daddy. She then told me, "Oh that's ok, I'll marry daddy then." LOL sheesh!!! She'll make a fine wife to some man someday.

MY THINKING HAT IS ON AGAIN

2007-06-29T16:18:00.000-06:00

Two posts in one day... hey I reserve the right to be a complete on-line blabbermouth. But in all actuality - there is a good reason for my bi-posting.

I went to the grocery store today and picked up a copy of the recent PEOPLE magazine. For those of you not aware of this, I'm a PEOPLE junkie. Not mostly for celeb reasons - but I like the human interest stories. Obviously my being a total people person and psychoanalytical by nature - I gravitate towards these types of things. Beats the heck of reading psychology and sociology journals (hey I had my fill of that in university thank you very much!).

I found myself reading a story about parents who are involved in one of the first legal fights against immunization's link to autism. They are claiming that their daughter developed autism after her MMR shots. For those of you that aren't on the up and up of the whole vaccine/autism theory - it is believed by some that the preservative thermasil is the reason why children become autistic. Thermasil is a mercury derivative.

Now I have to be honest. I feel for these parents. I too know what it is like to watch your perfect little one transform into a child that is barely recognizable. It is a painful thing to go through, especially when there is no logical explanation for it. It is unfair, and it is undiscriminating. However, I'm not a believer in the vaccine/autism link. I'd go so far as to say that the only correlation is that the onset of autism is roughly the same time that a MMR vaccine is admitted. There has also been enough research to show that the brain of an autistic child is hard-wired much differently than that of a typical child. Different lobes of the brain are working in ways that they normally shouldn't. In fact, brains of children who are autistic tend to be larger than their peers (from birth: this is true of Kierra as well). Looking back, I could see the early earmarks of autism in Kierra BEFORE she was ever administered a vaccine (ie: arching her back, not holding on, not recognizing her name).

I understand how hard it is not knowing where to lay the finger of blame when it is your child afflicted with this disorder. It is hard not to know why YOUR child. I think that placing the blame on vaccines where there is no evidence to really support it though, is doing more harm than good. Using scare tactics to keep new parents from not vaccinating their children is a disservice. Even though autism is a relatively "new" disorder (it was only 20 years ago that it was being identified by the DSM); who is to say a lot of the children long ago weren't autistic and no one knew what it was? Odd Uncle Ed may not have been eccentric - he might have been autistic. Mutes could have been children that were non-verbal autistics as well. Also, it was far more common to institutionalize people that were thought to be "mentally-retarded" or a "black cloud" in the family. There definitely isn't a thorough history of autism. Also, it would not explain why the rate of children affected with autism is climbing. MMR's have been around for a long time. Why the sudden influx?

I'm not so brazen to say I know why the autistic mind develops the way I do. I go by the scientific facts they have already established. It is a malfunction of the brain so it's neurological (rather than psychological - although it does have psychological factors involved). They know that the brain does not develop in the way it should (as I mentioned larger brains FYI: Kierra is five and has the brain size of a 15 year old girl). They have also identified DNA markers for autism, which suggests two things. It could be genetic (there are higher rates of autism in families with one child already diagnosed) and that it is something that probably starts to occur in the fetal brain). They have done studies in Europe with autism affected mice, and have actually developed a vaccine of sorts that have CURED the mice of their autistic traits. If this was a simply case of brain damage caused by mercury, how could such a thing happen?

As I have said - I know the heartbreak of autism. I don't wish it upon anyone. And I too seek the answer as to why my child is the way she is. I want to know if it was something I exposed her to, or if it was just dumb luck so to speak. Of course any parent who thinks along of the immunization cause theory is more than welcome to believe this. I think we are all entitled to our opinions and my thoughts aren't written in stone as being the "more correct." Far from it. I just wanted to throw out my thoughts on the subject and let you come to your own conclusion. But I think the one thing we would all agree on is we all want to know the reason WHY.

YOU THINK I ROCK?

2007-06-29T08:36:00.000-06:00

I just had to mention that I got nominated for the Rockin Girl Blogger award twice matter of days by two fellow, awesome bloggers for this same award (Thanks Teri and Jenny!). I'm always amazed at people that really dig the things I write. Makes me feel like my thoughts are important. Don't get me wrong, I don't only feel validated on-line LOL. But you usually can't have an in-depth, stimulating conversation with pre-schoolers. Why just earlier today, Jenna told me she wants to have a baby brother, and we should name it Mr. FeatherPuppet. Don't ask. Anyways, it's nice that people actually think of me when they have a chance to pick someone to pass it onto!

For my part, I now get to nominate five people of my own. I've been noticed that some of you have already been nominated. So don't get all bent out of shape - you already got your kudos. You know I love you all. In fact, anyone that is reading this right now should be able to be a Rockin Girl Blogger (especially Slick - he's more feminine than any of us). LOL So I'll use this opportunity to name some other people that haven't gotten an honorable mention yet.

1) Cat - I love her. I love all Canadians. I love Americans too though (I gave birth to three Yankees after all). But I love her style. She's fab!

2) Janet - there is just something about her that makes you feel like you've known her for years. She's an easy read (not easy in other ways LOL - God why am I being crass today?)

3) Maria - She was one of the first people I started to read about when I started to blog. I love her openers about her life. It's like curling up on a chair and reading your favorite book.

4) Tulipmomm - she and I have similar lives. I like the way we seem to think the same way; experience things. She's a great gal.

5) Janis - not many of you may be familiar with her (shame on you!) She's also one of my bestest buds but don't think that was the reason I choose her. Janis has an amazing writing skill and she's funny as hell. So she definitely rocks!!!

So thanks to all my loyal readers!!! You know I love you all!

MEETING FACES/PLACES

2007-06-28T08:15:00.000-06:00

As I had mentioned in fleeting passing the other day, I am going on a "Mommy's Vacation". Wondering what this is? Are you intrigued? Me too - because I've never been on one before. But I'm expecting it's going to be three glorious days of relaxation and forgetting for a brief moment that back home, I wipe bums all day long.

Approximately 6 years ago, I was part of an on-line mommy's chat called BabyCenter. I'm sure a lot of moms are aware of this site. Back then, I was "just" pregnant with the twins, waiting to find out how many were actually in there (we did IVF and put back more than came out!). I met this fabulous woman named Lee. She was a great spirit to have met; and I liked her immediately! She had a little guy already and was pregnant again. Me, being totally inexperienced, came under her prenatal wing. She gave me great advice, and I always looked forward to finding her name in the chatbox. Even better, she had the same, weird sense of humor I had!! How great is that to have someone else on this planet get you?

Around the same time, I met another gal Janis. She also also pregnant with her first baby, and was actually due one month before I was with the twins. She was probably one of the craziest chicks I could've met. She too was good friends with Lee, and whenever the three of us got into chat together we had a blast. We complained about our hubbies, our stretch marks. Once the babies were born, we complained about how sleep-deprived we all were. True bonding moments. During the course of the next two years; we all popped out one more baby. In fact, me and Janis both took to the same name for our last little girl (different spellings/ same attitudes!). We joined a mom's group board, found each other on MSN more often... it was awesome.

In the last six or so years, I have talked on the phone with these women, chatted for endless hours, been on web cam shaking our booty at each other. We send cards, pictures and gifts for special occasions. We are each other's online support team. I can honestly say that in troubled times, they are the first ones I go to. They are always there with a sympathetic ear and a good shoulder. I feel like I've known them forever. So you can imagine how excited I am to finally be putting faces to the names. On July 13th (lucky day huh?), I'm meeting them in person.

I must say I'm so excited to be doing this!!! I can only imagine what a blast they both are in person. One would think I might be a little nervous, but honestly - it's like I know them so well already. So, my friends, I know you are reading this.... so I just wanted to say I can't wait to meet you both!!!! This has been a long time coming!

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P.S. I activated the van alarm again yesterday instead of the automatic door opener (with the kids standing in front of it). What in the world? I'm loosing it. See I told you all I needed a vacation!

SUMMER SHACKLES

2007-06-27T12:59:00.000-06:00

Ah ... the beginning of summer vacation. My kids are officially in my care and control 100%/24-7 - for the next 70 days. Here that metallic clink in the background? That would be the sound of my summer shackles. My official summer imprisonment has begun. I'm not talking lame-ass Paris Hilton-esqe imprisonment (who catwalk struts out of jail for pete's sakes?) I'm going to be doing some hard time over the next few months.

Now I know what you are thinking... you should be happy to be able to spend all this wonderful, bonding, quality time with your daughters. Okay get with the program will ya? FACT: I'm used to having my afternoons low-maintenance. Karis naps, and I get two glorious hours to myself!! Now I get nothing - nada!! My low-maintenance has now become high-maintenance because I now have to entertain Kierra (who, by the way, isn't always a dream to entertain). I have Jenna and Karis fighting like cats and dogs every other minute. I won't get to take my leisure afternoons walks anymore (because my kids can't walk the pace I want to go or the distance). There will be no break for my sanity until September. As I write, Kierra has already destroyed two crayons (written on my coffee table - good thing they are washable) and has been digging through my fridge. Commence hair ripping.

I think the big problem is I've been spoiled by my leisure time. The last five years of motherhood have been hectic to say the least. Having three kids in a year and a half - hectic. Having a special needs child - hectic. I finally got to shift into low gear. I'll admit it - I rather enjoyed it. What full-time parent doesn't? So you'll have to excuse my incessant ramblings and bitchiness from now until September. I promise not to be too snarly. My only saving grace is my looking forward to my "mommy's vacation" in approximately 15 days. I'm meeting my two bestest buds in Vancouver for one glorious week-end of husbandless, childless, uninterrupted sleeping, no drink minimum, shopping spreeing, G-rated fun!!! Until then, I will lapse into my acutely aware but vegetative state which alleviates my stress just enough to get me through the day.

Drama queen much?

THE ANSWER IS THE KEY

2007-06-26T08:15:00.001-06:00

Holy crap - I've pulled some major knob moments in my life. I think I have surpassed previous expeditions of all past brain-farts commited by myself.

This morning I get up, get the kids their breakfast and see a little pink sticky note on the counter top. I figure Jarrett has left me a little love note (he just left for a 4 day business trip to Chicago). I pick it up with a loving smile on my face to read in his large, bold and obviously distraught printing,

"WAY TO LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE FRONT DOOR LAST NIGHT!"

Ummmmm whooops! Did I do that (in my best Steve Urkel voice)? Yes I guess so since I went to the drugstore last night, and I was the last one to drive the car. Must've been my purchase of electric toothbrushes and three new CD's that got me excited. Thank God we have a large bolt on the front door (although you jump the fence and go into the backyard, you're in the house). Worse was his car is parked in the driveway so that could've been stolen too. When I read that I immediately felt stupid. How could I not? I'm surprised he didn't come upstairs and ream me one. Probably because he had to get to the airport stat. I'm sure I'll get a phone call later in the day. Collect call, "Ma'am will you, an irresponsible home-owner, accept the charges from a husband who is going to tell you what you did was incredibly careless?"

I have no clue what my problem is - but lately I've been doing careless things. I guess I'm preoccupied or something (yeah cause you know the titans of intelligence in my head are battling it out lately @@). Honestly, nothing fab going on, nothing stressful. I think it was just one of those dumb things. Like yesterday I also momementarily left my purse at the girls school and when I was in the parking garage of the mall, instead of hitting the command start button, I hit the alarm. There goes my van, screaming it's engine out in a confined space with amazing ecoquistics. People turn and look and of course, I sheepishly make my way to the van and start it. LOL I was trying to disable it by hitting the button again (guess what - that doesn't work). Honestly, I never had to engage or disengage it. Case in point - I'm on a streak lately. What next? Tube top pulled down in a public place? Sure a lot of dirty little men would get a cheap thrill only Cialis could conjure up.

Anyways, short of being elected by the Darwin awards committee (which I possibly could win), I need to be on my best behavior for a while. My vow is to think before I act... or try anyways.

STARTING THE DAILY GRIND

2007-06-25T08:16:00.000-06:00

Friday, I spent the most glorious day outside on my deck. I mean it was AWESOME. It was sunny and hot, and I loved every iota of it!!! I invited my neighbor and her kids over to play. I just bought a new kiddie pool and the kids were going nuts. Me and my friend (minus the much needed margaritas), sat under the deck umbrella just vegging out. And then another neighbor came into the backyard unannounced. He just came home from work, is a mutual friend of ours, and asked if his wife and kids were in the backyard. Me and Alana were overcome with an uncomfortable silence and said, "Ummm no." It wasn't that she wasn't invited or we don't like her... honestly we just do stuff alot without her because me and Alana are more alike one another. We threw out the "You guys should come over" line... thinking boy that sounds like a humoring quip - and he left. After we just looked at each other in horror like we just got caught giving a hand job in the boys lockeroom in school or something. We questioned whether we should always throw her an invite. Then reasoned she never calls us to do anything... only us calling her. I think that rationale alleviated our guilt a tad.

Saturday, I was in party mode. This meant cleaning the house, setting up decorations, combing my children's' impossible rat-nest hair (I'm serious - they are follicularly challenged). Jarrett went to pick up some stuff and then called me to ask if the birthday cake should have color on it. Say what? Apparently they just transferred the image of Curious George in black and white and didn't color any of it. There you go - wonderful cake for a five year olds birthday. White plain ass cake with gray picture. I told him to get them to color it in - I mean CMON!!! They did and the job was sub-par at best. I will not be getting cake from them ever again. Luckily the kids didn't care. As for the clown - two children clung to parents wildly and screamed like he was Hitler the Clown. My children thought he was great. He truly was. He did a magic act, and then did animal balloons. Jarrett quipped he wanted some bunny ears for me later, and I got some. LOL no I didn't wear them to bed that night. It would've been a safety liability anyways. You pop one of those off, my hubby couldn't have lost an eye or something worse!!! Other mom from Friday was there too of course (Hey we don't not invite her to everything). Since me and Alana decided to go to a movie on Sunday, we asked her if she would like to come. She said no, she's too busy. We were sure if it's just because she was upset she didn't come to the backyard pool party or if she doesn't like us... or she was really busy. In either case, we did extend the invitation.

Sunday the weather sucked. I was supposed to get my sleep-in day but Kierra ran into the room at 7:30 screaming, "Mama, mama, mama!" at me. Jarrett apologized and took her downstairs. I was awake though. But instead of going downstairs, I spent the next two hours watching "Bridget Jones Diary" on t.v. I figured I may be up, but no way I'm getting out of bed! We decided to go to Rona to look for the deck box we desperately need. It was the kids' soccer wind-up party; but with those clouds in the air, no dice!!! We ended up buying two lounge chairs and the deck box. I had to argue with Jarrett that they would all fit in the minivan - with the kids. Him admitting I was right must've been hard. I must have a Tetrus brain or something, because I had it all mapped out. Unfortunately this didn't accommodate the fire pit we also wanted. It was either that, or leave one of the kids in the Rona parking lot. We opted to keep the kid (although it was a really nice fire pit). When we got home, we had the brilliant idea to have lunch outside. It ws cold and miserable but the kids insisted we stay. After we put the chairs together, and were talking when again, neighbors came back unannounced. I don't know about you, but I get irritated when people just invite themselves over. I mean we could have been talking shit about them or something and then we turn around and there they are. As it turns out, we were discussing the shed we plan to get next week-end. Note to self though: don't talk about anyone that could suddenly come unannounced in your backyard.

So that in a rather large nutshell, was my week-end!! My in-laws are coming next week (blah), but Jarrett has all of next week off. The twins have their last day of school this Tuesday and then my prison summer sentence starts. Also the Calgary Stampede starts this coming week-end (can I get a yahoo?). I'm sure I'll have some interesting tales to tell in the upcoming week. Ciao!