SLEEP... I NEED SLEEP!!!

I'm having one of those evenings where I'm tired, and I can't fall asleep. It's insomnia for dummies. I took a melatonin about an hour ago, and I think it's finally kicking in. I'm not quite "there" yet (this would mean to the point I'm so tired, I don't care that my husband is snoring in my face). I hope to be there soon.

I get like this every once in a while. It's not for any real reason, mostly because my stupid brain won't shut off. It's stuck in auto-pilot and demanding my conscious attention. Like what I did today, conversations I had... mindless stuff that would make any normal person fall asleep within three seconds from the sheer boredom. I knew from about 8:00 onwards this was going to happen because I was getting the jittery legs. That's usually my tell-tale sign that I'm on a high anxiety level. Perhaps if I did a few jumping jacks, I could mellow out. But since I already took off my bra for the night, I won't be doing that. They aren't mighty, but hey - they still hurt when you jump around unsupported.

So I guess I'll recap today's events: IPP Meeting. It was, more or less, a complete waste of gasoline. By the way... how you liking those gas prices? Pretty grotestque wouldn't you say? It's already 109.9 here in Canada. I remember thinking 103 was high. They say it's going much higher soon. My husband loves it. He works for an oil pipeline company. In the end, it lines his pockets. Sorry it's the truth. Please don't throw flaming bags of poo at my house. I digress: the trip was a waste of over-priced fuel. I reminded myself why I hate the drivers around here - they are idiots. They are practically driving so far up your ass, you feel the need to stop and ask them if they plan on buying me dinner after. But I did arrive at said destination, did the meeting (which was pointless). All we talked about is whether Kierra is saying consonant/vowel words properly, and why she won't go into a public restroom with a self-flushing toilet. Sigh! Educated minds hard at work. On a good note, it was the consensus that she's doing really well, and has been consistent in her progress since she first started up with the Foundation a little over two years ago. Everyone agrees she's always changing in a positive way (tell that to the mom who scrubbed red permanent marker off the same kid three days before). After, I took the kids to McDonalds - that was the highlight of the day since I'm dieting now.

I'm still awake... why am I still awake?????????

Kierra got her first invitation to a birthday party this Saturday. Seems odd to be excited about it, but this is the first time Kierra has gotten invited to a birthday. Usually Jenna is the only one invited. So I'm kinda excited for her! I also took the kids to get their ears pierced last Friday. Jenna has been hounding me forever, and finally we decided "fine let's do it". Karis chimmed in that she wanted some too, so I took all three girls to get their ears pierced. Jenna got hers, and hardly winced. She was very proud. Kierra watched Jenna, and then decided no thanks I'll pass. Karis decided she wanted those earrings, and she got them, along with screaming in my ear for about two mintues after they were finished putting them in. I got the nastiest look from an older woman. You'd think I just branded the child with a cattle prod or something! Sheesh! So Jenna spent the entire day afterwards telling her teacher she was royalty now. Wow - is that all it takes in this day and age? Some purple stone earrings?

I'm slowly becoming delusional with fatigue....

My neighbor keeps asking me how my purse is... like it's a sick child. I get that it's a Louis Vuitton purse, and it's lovely... but why ask me about it every time you see me? She's asked me three times now, "How is the purse?", another day "oh so you are out with your purse huh?" OKAY, it's not like I'm convorting around the City with some hot Italian guy that's not my husband. It's a freakin' purse! I'm starting to avoid meeting her out in the driveways - it's become a source of... well weirdness. I'm begining to think that I'd get less attention if I was carrying around one of those useless teacup dogs around under my arm (which by the way, I totally don't get the appeal of that). Besides, my purse doesn't shit in my house. Case closed - purse wins hands down as preferred accessory. Even so I'm still quite mystified about why so many questions.

Almost ready to go to bed now.....

My husband was kind enough to spring for a plane ticket to go to my brother's engagement social. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept: it's like a social event that charges money for entrance, and for drinks... you booze it up and you exchange nice with other people, and the proceeds go towards the bride and groom's wedding. So this is at the end of April. I'm going alone, since flying with three kids is a waste of money for one week-end. It should be a fun time. Plus, I can poke at my sister's expanding middle.

OK I'm officially done. I don't even think I'm talking clearly at this point. I've forgotten the previous sentence before I even started to write the next. You know you are ready to snooze when it gets to that point. Plus now I have to haul my ass up the stairs.... I wonder if the landing is a comfortable place to crash????

IPP TIME

It's that bi-annual time of year again.... IPP week for Kierra. Bah - can I just say how much of a love/hate relationship I have with this?

For those of you clueless of what an IPP is, it's basically a fifteen inch thick document that spells out all the goals you have for your child, the areas you want worked on, and how those goals are broken down. It's reviewed once a year, and you rate how far your child has come on that specific goal. If she/he has reached it, you add a new goal, or you modify it. Kierra has this ability to fulfill them before the IPP actually is written out and given to the parent to sign. For her, we have a speech therapist, occupational therapist, a child psychologist, me, a child-developmental specialist and our team leader.

So after about a month of the new team leader trying to convince me to have it at the main office, across the City, at 8:00 am (no dice lady - it would take me over an hour to drive there in rush-hour traffic), we settled for this morning. I don't actually want to go there. In the past they held the meetings at my house. Apparently they don't have the burning desire to impress me anymore, because they are making me haul my three kids and the CDS there instead. That and I can't find my actual IPP copy at home.

It is getting harder and harder every year to think of reasons why Kierra should still qualify for her therapy funding. For PUF (provincial funding), she just has to have documentation that supports that she has a disability. For FSCD, we have to prove she is severe in two or more areas. We are loosing the occupational therapy battle at this point. All we have left to counter-attack with is speech (which is an obvious deficiency) and her behavioral issues (ie: psychology). I had to think of all the ways that Kierra basically.... sucks (for lack of a better word). Nothing more unsettling than picking apart your child's weak areas.

So anyways, we'll be reviewing everything, seeing how she's progressed since August, and where she hasn't progressed much, write another IPP, and go from there. I'll be sure to post how it turns out. But for now, I need to get ready for the dragrace I call the Deerfoot to get to this appointment. Pray for our souls as we drive down this vortex of evil where the concept of braking is obsolete, as is the speed limit.

THE GREAT MARK-UP

I was on the phone with my good friend Christy when all of a sudden my husband yells in a horrified way that makes mother's think their child is missing a limb from a freak blender accident or decided to drink Draino. Instead I get a horrified, "Help here please!" I go around the corner expecting the worse and what I find is Kierra with red, permanent Sharpie marker drawings all over her face! I must admit, she did a stellar job because she even attempted to make whiskers for herself.

My first reaction is to laugh, (well maybe not my first reaction: my first is to deliver an "upside of the head" smack to my husband who totally freaked me out). So after that initial response, I would choose to laugh - but only until my husband points out she also had taken the liberty of decorating one of my kitchen chairs and the table top. Ok so maybe not so funny now. My third reaction is to grab a baby wipe and try to get this marker off. All this time my friend is still on the phone getting a good laugh at my expense. She has a 18 month old. I nicely remind her that there will be a day HER daughter marks up her face. She referenced that "Friends" episode when Ross writes on Rachel's face with a permanent black marker and she gets back at him the same way.

Anyways, I think for a moment because this baby wipe ain't doing diddly squat. I tried lotion, I tried oil - NADA. I then remember that hairspray will get rid of ink stains from a ballpoint pen, so why not marker? It's a logical assumption. I go and fetch Jarrett's hairspray (I don't really wear any), and we pin her on the floor. Jarrett is fighting off this blonde, red-faced banshee as I scrub her face with hairspray. VOILA! It's successful and after about 15 mintues of defacing her... er um face, she's squeaky clean again. Work of art disappeared! She's not too impressed with us at this point, but honestly who cares? It's either the hairspray or going out in public with red whiskers and everyone pointing and laughing. The table and chair were easily fixed: I did have a Mr. Clean magic eraser handy. MAN THOSE THINGS KICK ASS!! Don't worry - I didn't attempt to use it on my kids face. Not only would I just never do that, but I have a friend who went for a spray tan and it was poorly done.... she used a magic eraser to try to get it off her legs. All she got for her efforts were very badly rashed legs. I mean it DID get it off quite a bit, but I have it on good authority to say the fake tan looked better than her Mr. Clean mangled legs.

You also know I'M the one that got in shit for the marker. My husband says, "Well why was that marker in the drawer?" Say excuse me? WHO was supposed to be watching? And why can't I have a marker in my kitchen drawer (well except for now the obvious answer). After this I can say I did look through all the drawers and pull out anything permanent. No I didn't think to take a picture (I actually thought she'd be sporting her new look for a week). But let this be a lesson to any of you with children: Just because they haven't done it, and you don't think they'd do it - it doesn't mean they won't!

LURKING AND LURCHING

OK I've noticed that I have a few lurkers that frequent this blog quite often. Now is your chance to introduce yourself and make yourself known! C'mon don't be shy. I promise I won't bite you.

In other news, I decided three days ago that I was sick and tired of being lazy, so I decided to hit my home-gym. Down there I have an elliptical machine, a fancy treadmill I convinced my husband I desperately needed, and a Bo-Flex. Not to mention DVD's on pilates, Tae-Bo, aerobics and anything else remotely "trendy at the time". So the first day I decided to jog a bit, and do some pilates. I did so with as much grace as a hippo getting an enema. BUT I did do it! The next day my inner thighs hurt, and not for the right reasons. So the next day, I run again, and I do much better this time... and then I did about 40 minutes of weight training on the Bo-Flex. I eyed up the elliptical machine and figured, eh I'll get to that another day. This morning I can feel the burn in my legs still from those evil pilates, but I hoist myself on the treadmill, turn up the ipod and give it a go for an hour. I ran about 6 km's in that 60 minutes (which is in hindsight a little over 3 miles). Everything hurts, I refused to do pilates, Bo-Flex and gave the elliptical machine the finger. Ah the quest for better glutes I tell ya.

Don't get me wrong - it's for my own good. I need to stop being the winter hermit I am and repeating "once the snow is gone I'll go running". Well let's be realistic, that's not until May really. So what am I really giving myself? Four months of runable outside weather? Not to mention, I can't control the hills on the real terraine but I sure can on the treadmill. My subdivision is in the foothills so is extremely steep in some areas. Last year it took me a good two weeks of straight running to make it up the hill without stopping, clutching my side and crying on some poor sap's lawn. Not to mention, I don't appreciate having doberman's running after my ass because the guy 6 houses down doesn't believe in tying up dogs.

Anyways, I could use all the moral support you can muster. My husband is supportive in the sense he just likes to see me in those little Nike shorts of mine. That perv. Gives me a creative idea on how to get his lazy butt up off the couch though ;)

HEARING HER VOICE

It's so funny - I realized that I haven't written a "Kierra" posting in a while. Mostly my entries have been mind-fluff. I mean don't get me wrong - I enjoy writing them, and I like having a humorous side when I write. Life can't always be serious. But lately I haven't been really "down-to-earth" about things rattling around in my mind. Maybe I've been so busy lately, I haven't really let the quiet sink in and let my mind wander round. Yesterday, however, I was able to hear my mind talking to me as I watching my child playing in the playground.

Me and Jarrett took the girls to the park to play. It was a beautiful day with +10 weather! It was like springtime in February!! Snow melting, freshess in the air that you can't help but open up a window and let that sunshine in. So I sat on a bench. Jarrett was pushing Karis on the swing, and she was screaming shrilly on the top of her lungs, "higher daddy higher!" Jenna found a little girl about her age to play with - the two of them running around with pigtails flying out behind them. In all this I scanned the playscapes for Kierra, who I found trying to slide herself up and down this pole, happiest smile on her face. This is a child whose smile could light up anyone's heart. I smile to myself and watch as the sun dances on her hair, giving her this golden halo. I can hear her humming to herself as she often does. I sometimes wonder if this is her way of singing... or is just like a happy reflex; kind of like when a kitten purs? I know it's a happy sound, because I can see the sheer contentment on her face. So lucky to have this feeling. It's a sensation adults seem to lose as responsibilities grow.

Then she picks something off of the ground and puts it in her mouth. I quickly ran over to her, and told her to spit it out - finding that it was only a rock. But then it hits me: my daughter is almost six years old. She doesn't really talk a whole lot outside of the babyish words she's developed in the last year (each one of which I'm terribly thankful for). She does things that are obviously not age-appropriate. And with each passing year, she commands more stares than she used to. People "knowing" now that there is definately something not quite right about my child. And while she is not an embarrassment to me, it still makes me sad. Because the ability for her to live in a life that is veiled is dwindling quickly. It's not about living in denial about the situation though. It's about protecting someone I love. It worries me that I can't always be there to shield her from ignorance. People stare at her, whisper behind our backs. Sometimes I want to lash out and yell at them - to stop making my little girl a source of their conversation. It hurts me because I already see how children avoid her because she's "strange". Birthday party invitations have come home for Jenna, but not for Kierra. Emails asking Jenna over for playdates but never for Kierra to join in the fun. And in spite of it all, Kierra always has her beautiful smile radiating strong. I think she might be stronger than me - my autistic child. These things that weigh heavy on my heart and mind don't seem to hold her down in the least bit. I envy this in her.

It's funny but someone labeled Kierra as a disabled child not too long ago. I understand this term, and I know Kierra is, in fact, disabled. However I still look at that word and think it doesn't belong to Kierra. I have never looked at her autism as a disablity. It's strange because at first I thought it was because I refused to accept it. But now I understand it for being something entirely different. Although other people may see her with the label "disabled" - I refuse to look at her any different than her sisters. Not because I'm pretending there is no difference (there is definately a difference), but because all three of my children are unique. Kierra's autism doesn't make Jenna or Karis more "normal" to me. They are each special in their own little way. Karis is a cuddly little girl, who commands the stage and loves to joke. Jenna is more serious and thoughtful and loves to learn the answers to everything. Kierra is my soulful girl that has more to say about life than she can physically put out there. All I really want in this life is for the world to hear her voice. And while it may mean dealing with people who are to careless to listen; I will always be there to shout to the world for her as long as she needs me to.

No I don't look at my daughter as someone in this world living with a diability. I look at my daughter as someone in this world living. I can only hope other people will take a moment and see this too.

WELL....... DID SHE OR DIDNT' SHE?

The question burning on your minds (well the less important burning question) is...


DID I GET THE PURSE????




WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Now ask yourself, would your husband go through the trouble of getting the box, but put something else in it as a joke? Sounds pretty mean doesn't it? I mean whose husband would do something so cold-hearted and mean?



Not mine, although he actually entertained the idea. He decided against it just in case his valentine went postal and beat him to death with the box. So I was kinda surprised but not totally obviously. But I was because with Jarrett, you never can tell what he's up to! He made the statement "I'll never understand why you love these so much, but I understand why I love you so much"........ and then some comment about not bringing it into the bed with us. He had to admit, he was totally stoked about giving it to me. He knows how long I've been eyeing these, and how much I wanted one. My last attempt was thwarted (I got screwed over by a seller on Ebay), so now I have the legit.

Can I just say I know some of you probably are with my husband... you just don't GET it. That's okay - no one ever claimed fetishes were about common sense. You have to look at it from my perspective. I am a purse junkie. I am not interested in rehab either... I LOVE PURSES!!! As my husband laments, I have a LOT of purses. It's not on the verge of being unhealthy yet, but yeah, it's a lot of purses. Think about fetishes if you will (not the kinky ones... please keep those to yourself). Some people love shoes, others love jewelry (well so do I)... hell some people collect Fabrigee eggs. Me? Purses! This is like the ultimate purse for me!!

While I drift in my euphoria of Louis Vuitton, tell me... what is your passion for? What are you addicted to? I'm sure there are a few of you out there who share my insane addiction. But I'm interested in those other items that you just can't live without (or can't stay away from oogling).

I hope you all have a fab Valentine's Day!!!!!! Much love and hugs wished to you all!

IT'S HERE!

I know, I know... how sad am I that I'm greatly anticipating Pottery Barn bedding this much? Probably makes you wonder what I'm lacking in other departments in my life. This morning I went to the mailbox to find the little "delivery" flyer telling me my package was here!!! I was a little worried to look to see how much duty I had to pay on it, but it was only $24.00 (I can handle that). I got to the post office, and they gave me this box that resembled something that a suicide bomber would have strapped to him. I mean there was huge gaps in the side of the box, crushed down... tape missing. I instantly though, "Oh great, another purchase from Ebay gone down the shitter". I even went so far as to take pictures of the package exterior before I opened it, in case things had fallen out and I could prove it was because of the shotty packaging.

And you know what? It was actually ALL there and in one piece! I was pretty amazed. Angels sang from the heavens in perfect harmony. I couldn't even wait to get home to see everything. I opened it in the school parking lot while waiting for the twins get be released. My other two friends were just as eager to see it as I was... and we all ooowed and awwwed over the linens like they were made of 18 carat gold or something. This just goes to show you that once you're a mom, things like cute bedding are exciting. I have to admit, it is exceptionally sweet and Karis' room is going to be so pretty!!! Now lies the task of getting everything stripped, painted, put together and tucked in. This will take a month essentially. But hey, at least I have the fitted sheets LOL.

So yesterday I went to a mommy's lunch with three other schoolyard friends. Not friends from my schoolyard days, but rather my twins. We all decided that we should have a lunch together. Three out of four of us had to bring one kid, but actually it was really nice. Considering the other two children were babies ages one month and 6 months respectively. Even Karis was unusually quiet, and just ate and sang the occassional song to a baby. We sat around gossiping and noshing for a good 2 hours, until we realized how long we had actually been sitting there! I have to say it was really nice to just sit and relax and enjoy someone else's company that isn't wearing Hello Kitty all the time. Hopefully we make this a bi-weekly, or at least a monthly thing!

My last story involves my husband who suggested we go look at the Louis Vuitton store at purses. We spent maybe 20 mintues looking through the catalog, asking to see specific handbags and me modeling them for Jarrett. Even the matching wallets were coming out. I half-expected my husband to say "Happy Valentine's Day early - pick which one you like" as did the lady helping us until he said to me, "You know... Valentine's Day is just around the corner". I could've smacked him!!! So am I actually getting the purse? Who the hell knows. Honestly you never know with Jarrett. Why a husband would dangle a coveted purse like that in front of his wife (who considers the LV to be the holy grail of purses) and then not buy it? He has been teasing me since saying the same catch phrase, "... you know Valentine's Day is just around the corner" ever since. Does someone want to hit this man with a rubber hose please?

STALKING THE POSTAL SERVICE

I have issues (well that was pretty apparent wasn't it? I mean really). But even moreso during the last week. Why? Because I'm constantly stalking the tracking number for a parcel through Canada Post. Actually, I first started stalking it through USPS... THEN once it left the States, I started to follow it like a bountyhunter. I know it left Chicago and went to Mississauga, Ontario. C'mon already!!!!!!

What am I waiting for? Well you'll laugh I'm sure (for many reasons), but I'm waiting for a Pottery Barn Kids bedding set for Karis. Want to hear the story behind it? You know you do, otherwise why on earth would you keep coming back here to hear the deranged ramblings I spew out so sporadically?

I have been hounding the hubby to re-do Karis' bedroom for probably a year now. She's four now, and I thought it was time for her to have a "non-baby" room. Right now it's pink, has ballerina teddy-bears... and very baby-ish. Her bed is technically her crib that converted into a daybed. Which really... not too bad because she's short (she can fit a 2T pant for pete's sakes!), but lately she keeps getting her elbow stucks in the railing side at night, which requires me to haul my sleepy ass out of bed to detangle her at 3:00 am. So I harrassed and harrassed (this technique works wonderfully I might add), and we went out to buy her a bed, and mattresses. NOW, this is where I truly get neurotic... my search for the cutest bedding. I have been scoping out this particular set at www.potterybarnkids.com (it's Alyssa's flower garden), and so once I got the bed on order, I set to getting this bedding for her. I get down to everything and then I'm told they won't send it to CANADA!!!! WTF? Why not? My money is just as good. But no. And we only have three Pottery Barn stores in Canada (all three are in Toronto... why does Toronto need three?). And no, they wouldn't order it for me from the States and send it to me.

I was left with little options. I could have it ordered and sent to my sister-in-laws (who I can't stand). No thanks... I'd rather decorate my kid's room with burlap sacks. I look into having a friend purchase and send it, but it would cost WAY too much after double shipping. Then I go on Ebay (I usually try to steer clear), but I find this woman that actually owns a children's linens business and she happens to have this exact bedding, for about $100.00 cheaper than the website pricing. PERFECT!!! So I buy it, she sends it, and now I'm waiting for it.

The reason why I'm being a total spaz is because I've been burnt SO MANY FREAKIN' TIMES on Ebay. I'd refer you to the illustrious case of the Louis Vuitton purse (but I'm not even going there - it still pisses me off) and the counterfit "Beauty and the Beast" DVD's I ordered (I hope I never get a knock on the door by the Fed's). So hopefully this is legit and my faith in Ebay can be restored. Not only that, I have the whole theme of Karis' room mapped out and all the little things I want to do with it to make it "perfect" (a.k.a my sensationalized version of children's rooms that look like the rooms in the magazines). I have a bit of a problem as you can tell - I'm a decorating freak. I love to make things unique and take a lot of time and put a lot of energy into making it EXACTLY how I want it. For instance, I have already bought a wooden stepstool for Karis (she's short remember) and have hand-painted it to match the bedding and the room theme. See - I told you I have problems!!

Anyways, I have to run.... Hopefully it doesn't come down to my mail carrier filing a restraining order from me. I promise once I get the bedding, I'll get normal as I get again.

TOSS ME A LIFE PRESERVER

These children are driving me crazy!!!! February is the month of "make your kids stay home from school and drive you batty" month. Don't ask why, apparently there is a need for professional days (I think they are boozing it up at the local bar). Don't get me wrong... I love my kids. But I'm use to having an afternoon reprieve from their constant yelling, fighting, and continuous harrassment of me. Next week, I have a five day stint with them.... alone. If I'm woried now, just think what happens when school lets out in June!!!!!!!!

The other night I had a massage. It wasn't one of those massages you go to because you just like to have some strange person rubbing oil all over you. I'm actually going for massage therapy. Well I don't know how therapeutic it is to be kneeded like a lump of dough to the point you are gritting your teeth in anguish and you can't even keep you feet from flying up off the massage table. My point of excruitating pain in around my shoulder blade (specifically on the right side). This is what happens when you decide against your better judgement to haul 90 lbs worth of kids up a hill in a sled. Not one of my brighter moments let me tell you. As a result, I've seen my chiropractor twice, and now the massage therapist. At one point I could feel her pushing the knot in my shoulder, which was very creepy. I told her it hurt and she said, "Oh I'm trying to pin it against your shoulder blade." LOVELY!!!!!!!!! One hour later, and $75.00 less richer... I can barely move or lift my right arm. She wanted me to go again next week (she's evil!), but she didn't have an evening appointments (damn), so I go again in two weeks. Same time, same channel... and probably the same unbearable pain. I might have to take some codeine first.

In other news, Kierra got this voice assisting box (essentially she pushes buttons and it makes sentences). It was a trial application, and we were very excited to see it. This morning the speech therapist comes, and the woman who is my case worker brings it..... and we were a little disapointed to say the least. It only does 8 pictures per sheet, and only takes up to three sheets. That is only 24 commands... for a child with well over 500 words in her vocabulary. So basically it's useless. We have to talk to the case worker about finding something more Kierra's speed. There is one that is 40 commands per screen, and holds up to 10 scrrens worth. This might be more in her league. Funny thing is the cruddy one was $800.00!!! Eight hundred for 24 phrases? I can't even imagine what 400 is going to cost me. Normally we would wait to get the evaluation, and then assigned one. I found out we can buy one out-right if choosen. I kinda like the free idea better, but the catch is it's 1 - 1 1/2 years of a wait. Sigh.

We have a date night on Saturday, which I'm really looking forward to. I have no clue what we are doing, but am happy at the prospect of going out for a meal that doesn't involve a kiddie menu and my saying "would you please behave yourself" 10001010 times. I'm also trying to convince my husband to take his Feb EDO off one of the days the girls are staying home from school. We tried to strong-hold my mother into coming to visit by waiving a pre-paid airline ticket in her face... and my husband's pressure tactics of saying "c'mon..... I'm booking it right now" but alas, it didn't work out. Crap!

Well, that's about it from me. You might be happy to know I'm not in a perpetual frozen state anymore... we got a chinook and are happily thawed out for the time. Let's hope it stays that way (although highly unlikely). Cheers!

GOOD PLANS UNREALIZED

For those of you that do not know, this year me and the hubster will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. I know - shocking!!! What's even more shocking is the fact that we are still married. I don't mean this in a mean way like "he's such an asshat", but statisitically speaking, Jarrett and I should have been divorced twice over by now. I'll explain:

Over half of people who undergo infertility end up splitting. It's just one of those sad things where probably one of the people in the couple is having the infertility issue, and the other person can't get over it (ie: a friend of ours couldn't accept never having her own biological children). Instead of drawing each other closer, it can cause a lot of animosity. Lucky for us, we were the ones that supported each other.

Second, over 70% of parents with an autistic child end up divorced. HOLY SMOKES!!! That's pretty bad! I can see it thoug: parents have no time for themselves anymore, the stress of having an autistic child: it's not easy. So far so good with us though.

So here we are - 10 years in and going strong. Got over the "seven year itch" period (LOL), and I think we just may make it. Which brings me to the point of the post. For our 10 year we discussed what gifts we will be bestowing on each other. Jarrett is buying me a three-stone diamond ring and I'm buying him a Rolex watch. Now I've known I'm getting this ring since 9 years ago... lol and the watch he's known about for the past 5 years. So it's not like "surprise guess what I'm getting you". Now for those of you who don't know this.... we have an anniversary sequence of the number 24. We started dating on August 24, got engaged January 24, and got married October 24. And this past January 24 marked the 10 year anniversary of our proposal.

So my husband has been planning the 10 year anniversary for a few years, which involves a kick-ass trip this year plus other surprises I"m not privy to. All I know is, in his words, this year will be "ten months of surprises". OK sounds romantic!!! UNTIL he tells me a few weeks ago, "I had a really good idea of a surprise for you". I say oh what? I'm curious (ok nosey) and so he tells me:

"You know how you know that you are getting the ring for the 10 year? I was going to give it to you on January 24th and re-propose to you."

My jaw drops open, because honestly, this is EXTREMELY romantic and I would have been totally shocked because I wouldn't have expected it. HOWEVER NEVER TELL YOUR WIFE OF THE ROMANTIC IDEA YOU HAD THAT YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH! I mean c'mon guys! Not to mention before he told me this, he took me out to look at actual rings. Not to buy but to check out to get a feel for what I liked. So I got to try on all these sparkly rings (beautiful rings), and then he dangles the prospect in front of me and says "sorry!"

OK before you think I'm completely horrid yes I know I'm still getting it but still... it would've been an awesome story to tell. I mean c'mon admit it!!! He gets partial credit I suppose for the thought. And as he told me "honey it's really the thought that counts".

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA

Drama... need I really say more? It's part of this all-inclusive package we call life. Honestly, some of it is entertaining, while the rest is stress. And usually I do my best to avoid stress; especially as of late because I've been having physical stress reactions (eg: muscle twitching/spasms).

This past week has me twitching like I'm totally impulse-control free.

So story goes: my brother is getting married in August to this girl. She's fairly nice, and I get along with her relatively well. So she asked if one of my daughters would be a flower girl in the wedding. Sure I say. Emails are exchanged about flower girl dresses, nothing too outlandish. Well my sister's daughter is ALSO a flower girl and I get a call from my sister telling me that the flower girl dresses (which are actually mini-maid dresses) are around $300.00!!!! OKAYYYYYYYYYY back that thing up! There is no way in hell I'm buying a dress that is that much. Not to mention the thing is Harvest Gold (barf) and honestly... it's not like my child will ever wear this thing again.

So I send a very nice, poetic letter to the sis-in-law-to-be pointing out that I don't think the dress A) is appropriate for a six year old and B) it's a little pricey. I wait about four days to hear back and nothing. I'm a little surprised as she's usually prompt with her responses. So I call my mom and ask if she's talked to the two of them to which she replies, "Um Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Apparently after I sent the email, my brother calls my mother blasting her about what is my problem and why is she trying to stress us out? Ummmm excuse me? First off why are you calling up mom and crying to her like a bunch of 5 year olds? If you have issues, call me directly you imbeciles. Second, I read the email to my mom, and she agreed that I wasn't confrontagious or anything. And also, that I had a good point.. to which the reply was it's not like we're going to dress our nieces like hookers OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYY, talk about getting a little carried away with one's self. No one mentioned the words "provocative", "sleazy" or "trampy" - I DID say that I thought the dresses were a little too mature for a six year old. I didn't say she would resemble one of those hooker-esque BRATZ dolls (don't get me started about those things...)

So as of now, they still haven't responded to me, and I talked to my sister who is all riled up and hormonal now about the whole thing, and the fact that she's not included in the wedding (same sister who didn't have me or my brother in HER wedding a mere 5 months ago). Again, my family - drama. Then she starts going off on how she doesn't support this wedding, and that the sis-in-law is just a bitch. I know better to feed into this until she says, "you know she criticizes your parenting".

STOP

What?

I can't help it, I bite and she says that sis-in-law-to-be is always ragging on me and the hubby behind our backs. I ask for specifics and I get some... but to be perfectly honest she does the EXACT SAME THING in reverse with me. So it's not exactly far-fetched. So now I'm a little pissed off on top of it all. Pretty rich coming from a 22 year old that doesn't have kids. That's like Kelly Pickler trying to describe quantum physics. I don't like this little revelation, so now I'm feeling particularly bitchy about the whole flower girl dress/tattle-tale fiasco.

However, not to worry. I'm just ignoring it and going on my merry little way. To me it's not worth starting a whole family feud on, and honestly, it's my brother's decision in the end. However I don't think he'll be getting my sister's vote of support.

FROZEN THOUGHTS

I'm freezing off my poor, sad Canadian ass off right now. The reason I haven't posted is for fear my fingers would freeze to the keyboard and I would be forever plagued with a keyboards dangling from my fingertips. That's worst case scenario. Low-middle cased scenario, I would only have the keys "D" and "L" stuck to them... and quite possibly the space bar.

IT IS COLD!!!

It was -29 yesterday (without windchill). You factor in the windchill and you get yourself something in the range of -40ish...... that's cold people! I won't do the conversion for the Yanks because A) I suck at conversions and B) my brain is frozen and I couldn't do a satisfactory job at converting it. It's so cold, when I open my kitchen cabinets that are on the exterior wall, cold air comes shooting out of them. I swear I saw a frozen steak behind the dessert plates. It's so cold, I can't even sit in the back end of the house, only the front because that's where the sun beams are located. I'm like some deranged cat trying to find the sunspot on the living room floor. I'm so cold that I'm wearing my housecoat over my clothing, and yes my furnace is working in case you are wondering. I'm a perpetually cold person, and this doesn't help matters at all. The worst part is my husband is out of town on business, and I don't have any food because I was too lazy to get my ass in gear over the week-end.

They also cancelled school... well kinda. Kierra's aide called in sick (she was probably frozen to the tile on her bathroom floor), and the furnace in the classroom couldn't handle the pressure of doing a half-assed job of not freezing 17 five year olds. Their classrooms is one of those satellite classes - you know what I'm talking about. Those sad little buildings in the back of the actual school? So the principal called to see if I still wanted to bring the girls. In a couple of eloquent words? FUCK NO!! So instead I had marathon long-distance phone calls with my mom, made foam valentine bear bookmarks, and looked up my family lineage on ancestry.com.

However, I couldn't avoid the inevitable. I mean I made this nasty can of chicken and wild rice soup for lunch (barf), and had nothing more than that to offer for dinner. So rationalizing this, I decided to whip over to Wal-mart to pick up some stuff, and they also have a handy little McDonald's there I can throw at my kids. Win/Win situation. I bundle them up, strap them in the van, I open the garage door and I swear if garage doors had feelings, this was the saddest door in the City. It creaked like ice was in between the cracks of it. This whoosh of cold frosty air attacked me like a Stephen King murder fog. I raced around the front of the van, jumped in, and thought to myself "what that hell am I doing?" Too late - we are in the van and I'm not getting out. So I drive off and spy my newspaper sitting on the porch (I wouldn't even open the door to get it). Drive around the corner and see drifts of snow on the sides of the road, each with a car stuck in it. Now I don't understand this you see.

A) Calgary is a well-endowed City yet they never have snowplows go down the side roads of sub-divisions at all. They just plow the main roads (aka anything a bus would go down), and screw the rest of us stuck in the back. So there are cars littering the sides of the road now; owners who gave up after they realized that no a smart car can't plow itself through a 5 foot drift of snow. Enough SUV's and pickups forged a little path which I managed to get my van through as well. I get to Wal-Mart and brief the children of the plan. I sounded like a drill Sargent "ok troops, when I open the door, you must evacuate the van immediately! Do not, I repeat do not open your mouth, breathe through your mouth. You will freeze your lungs and I will have to leave you. Do not run into the pile of snow Wal-mart left in the middle of the parking lot for some unknown reason, so you loose a boot. Any boot lost in the snow pile will remain in the snow pile. We will amputate your frozen foot with a fork in the McDonald's. GO GO GO!"

So I ran my poor children for the coldest two minutes in Canada to the store, yelling at them to stop yelling about how cold it is because they start complaining it's too cold (well der). Immediately blast of warm, happy re-cycled contaminated air in the door openings - thaws my insane body. We take our time shopping (no rush to go back out there!). I get what I need (minus the blowtorch that I'll need to get into the frozen van afterwards), and then we go eat. I can see through the windows that there are other people just like me who don't know any better. People slipping in their running shoes they thought could withstand the icy roads. Fools really. I cue up the command start and decide to put all three kids in the shopping cart. I was shocked the greeters at Wal-mart didn't yell at me to tell me this is not a good plan I have. I don't care - three kids pushed by their mom in a shopping cart go a lot faster than said mom dragging three kids through a parking lot. I ran, my kids squealed in delight. I get to the van and apparently my command start didn't activate (piece of crap), and I throw all the children into the van, telling them to curl up in a ball and let their 20 inch thick parkas cushion their fall. Get everyone strapped in, go to back out... and SOME COMPLETE ASSHOLE decides to park behind me in the row across but not pull in entirely! NO he's half-way in the aisle! I'm thinking "I know it's cold but come on!" So I fiddle back and forth to get the van out of the parking lot. If I was one of those road rage people, I would've just backed my way and smashed his Lincoln Continental ass (must've been an old person's car). Got home - my garage door screamed at me again, and got back in the house.

So there you have it. For those of you who live in this country, you feel and share my pain. For those of you who say "Oh Canada's so pretty, I've always wanted to visit" ... yah don't come until the two months of summer okay?

BLACKBERRIES, WHITE HILLS OF SNOW, AND BLUE PANTYHOSE

I have fully recovered from my internal injuries sustained from the Gymboree expedition last week! Not to mention, I had my daughter's photos done wearing one of the outfits that caused so much bloodshed. The photo shoot was AWESOME. I had a friend who is a photographer take them, and I have to say, she did a wonderful job!!! Not to mention I got a CD of 80 photos that have all been touched up, and she's only charging me $2.00 per sheet I order - WHAT A DEAL!!! Last year I took the kids to Kidsphoto. The sitting fee was cheap, but each sheet was $28.00 (ya you read right - $28.00). HOWEVER, the pictures were phenomenal. Besides, I was sick of the slack-jawed yokels at Wal-Mart who barely even knew how to center a picture, or the teenagers at Sears who seemed more interested in text messaging than taking a picture. Anyways, I will post a few of those new pictures.

Friday, Jarrett surprised me with a new Blackberry to replace my own cell phone. The battery was dying on it, and you know, it's always nice to have something that is so complicated you can't possibly figure it out on your own. I have managed thus far to put in addresses, phone numbers and fill up my calendar. I was pretty happy to get it though. Although my hub's jokingly tells me I'm turning into one of those text-nerds that gets carpel tunnel's from trying to spell with those tiny keys. So what? I guess he doesn't like my claw-like hands?

This past week-end, me and the hubs went out on our first date since August. We finally got a respite worker to replace Sara, our last one who left the Province in hopes of full-filling her dream of owning her own clothing store. Alas, this left us in the lurch, since we aren't exactly going to have a thirteen year old come and babysit for us. Cue Deanna, who actually was Kierra's old case worker. She's decided to pick up some respite hours on the side, so we were more than happy to snap her up!!! So we went out, ran some errands, went perusing at a jewelry store for my 10 year anniversary band (just to give hubby an idea), and then out for a spectacular dinner. I had a Bellini, calamari, and this chicken with Bearnaise sauce, asparagus and scallops. Not to mention this dessert which was best described as an orgasm on a plate, covered with almonds. Seriously - it was THAT good!

Sunday, we decided to brave the cold mountain weather, and bundled up the kids to go sledding. Things we learnt? 1) Bundling up kids is time consuming, but even harder when you are trying to belt them into a car seat. 2) Just because your kids have snow pants on, the warmth of them doesn't miraculously offer you any protection as you wear a pair of work-out pants and a pair of sweats over top. 3) It's funny as hell to watch your one kid ditch the other to pull the sled up the hill. 4) It's not so funny when you have to pull your kid up the hill ON the sled. And last but not least 5) When two parents go down on the same sled you are going to go REALLY fast, hit bumps exceptionally hard, and your husband is going to pull the same number as your youngest and ditch you to pull the sled up the hill. The kids were tired out, which was part of the plan.

Monday, I did my first in-class volunteer at the twins kindy class. Usually I'm the annoying person that calls the other parents to tell them to get their asses in there and put in the time they PROMISED on the blue sheet I have on my desk. Well I got an offer to watch Karis, so I went in. It was interesting to say the least. I was surprised to see how well Kierra really does sit and listen... if only she did that at home LOL. But it was kind of neat to see how she acts in a classroom. Apparently she put on a show for me, because she was doing things she normally doesn't do. Nothing bad mind you, but the teachers were amused at her change in demeanor. In the evening, my husband made me get out of my bed because of his constant bitching about not having any navy dress socks. I told him yes he does. He goes on and on, incessantly about it (I think he inherited this trick from the mother-in-law). So I get out of the bed, look in the drawer as he goes downstairs to the laundry room still complaining in an obvious loud voice. Sure as shit what do I find? THREE pairs of navy socks. I go to the landing and yell down "Way to look dear! What's this? Why it's NAVY socks" (and muttered dumb shit under my breath). Too bad the house has really good acoustics. Oh well. Don't get me out of bed for socks that are in plain sight. So he looks at them and declares that they are black. No they aren't. I put them up against black pants. He then says "these aren't socks, they are pantyhose". Um huh? He says they are too thin, these are pantyhose. OK, first off, they aren't pantyhose. They are men's dress socks. They are thin but they aren't made by Secret. My mother bought them for him for Christmas for his stocking, and I KNOW my mother would not buy him panty hose. So I tell him, look either wear the socks, or don't wear his navy suit tomorrow and wear the tan one. He says fine, he'll wear the blue ones but he still thinks they are panty hose (sure ok dear).

After lying in bed in the dark I can't help myself and say, "You know, you might get that promotion if you let your boss get a gander at your lady hose". ROFL - I'll be surprised if he actually wore them today (he leaves at 6:30am, I'm not even up so I'm not going to look at the man's feet). And tonight, I'm going to treat myself to an one-hour massage! AH I can't wait! I'm just waiting for my hubby to get home (with his pantyhose) so I can go! Wish me relaxation vibes!

REFEREE AT GYMBOREE

HOLY CRAP!!! I just got back from what could be nothing less described as complete pandemonium. I'm lucky I made it out of there alive, and I believe I will be later dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder!

I'm speaking of the first day of "Gymbucks" at Gymboree. Those of you that have never experienced this... HA you call yourself a warrior? I'm talking thrashing through hoards of crazed women, waving their blue and green Gymbucks in the air, and grabbing virtually anything that has a sale tag on it! I mean the funniest was the lady with the 3 week old baby - she's buying size 7T jeans and 3T shirts. I'm sorry, is it so much a deal that you're willing to buy them 3-7 years in advance? I mean, I'm sure they'll have Gymbucks in the future.

I took Karis with me, and I'm shocked I didn't loose my third-born in the wave of shoppers. I kept her close to me, trying to make it to sections of the store, unsure if I'd ever see the light of day again. I couldn't help myself - they had the cutest little blue tulip dress and matching sweater in Karis' size. It wasn't even on sale for God's sakes, and I was still fighting with some top-heavy broad with 12 coats-to-many of mascara and a cheap-ass hair extension. Tip: if you are going to weave fake hair onto your hair, make sure the quality is a little better looking than horse hair... I mean c'mon! One woman just stood there as I was pinned into the corner by the little floral print dresses, refusing to move. I was ready to tell her Karis had explosive diarrhea... until she finally made eye-contact with me and rolled her eyes and moved over.

After I finally got my selections (which were hard to find seriously - the store was picked over already and it was only 4 hours into the first day), I made my way to the end of the line, which was approximately 10 people long already!! At first I felt like saying screw it and just leave, but then I thought if I came back A) these items would more than likely be gone, B) I didn't just get elbowed in the head to leave without my bounty and C) I already drove out there and I sure the hell wasn't going to go back! I had $250.00 worth of Gymbucks for pete's sakes! So I waited, and waited... and waited some more, finally making it to the counter. I slapped it all down, as I heard one of the cashiers mutter, "I hate Gymbucks". Amen sister!! She rung in my purchase (which totalled about $500.00 - but remember the Gymbucks) and I go to whip them out and low and behold - I forgot them at home!!!!!!!

Just kidding! Wouldn't that have been hilarious? Seriously - I mean in a mean, twisted sort-of-way I think you started to smile didn't you? No I had them with me and got my $250.00 discount on all the cutest clothes you could imagine. The chick next to me only had $50.00 - I think she was waiting to see if I would have an extra I wasn't using. Sure - and you can pay me $10.00 for every $25.00 coupon I have!! HA - I'm not giving those away!!! So purchase completed, and I swear to God, and this is no lie, the cashier gets a box of white Glad garbage bags out, and puts my purchases into the garbage bag! I look at her with a "are you facking kidding me?" amazed expression, and she says "Oh well we don't' have any more large bags... it's either this or 8 of the tiny bags". So basically my choices are numbered to carrying insanely stuffed, multiple bags or one white garbage bag. I say fine, give me the garbage bag (without handles either you know!), and leave the store embarrassed beyond belief because I look like some strange beggar woman trying to pay for clothes with pop cans at Gymboree.

Anyways... any of you that are planning on braving this event I have some tips for you. Bring water (it's hot in the stores), bring earplugs (lots of babies screaming with mother's just trying to find 2-3T socks), and a tazer (because some of those bitches shopping just need a good jolt!). Happy shopping!

P.S. This Hannah Montana song is dedicated to Karis - because she claims it's "her song" and she does a pretty good dance to it. I'll have to post the video when I have the time - it's a hoot!

NOT A HAPPY DAY

Mostly because I took Kierra for her first wart freezing session, and it was horribly difficult to be there for!!! I used this cream that supposedly is supposed to freeze the area. I don't know if it just didn't work, or if it did but it wasn't enough, because Kierra screamed like someone was torturing her!! It took two full-grown adults to hold her down, plus the fact that she was kicking me in the neck the entire time! She kept yelling "mommmm!" and "it hurts" - I just wanted to kick the doctor, pick up my kid and run out of there!!

At the end, she was pretty pissed at Dr. D so I had to apply the band-aid myself, and then when we got to reception, she yelled "LOLLIPOP" at the receptionist LOL. They told her she could have two. I told her I'd take her to Burger King. Fun part is I get to do this again in 10 days. *Sigh* this sucks.

We decided to enroll Karis for Kindergarten this fall. We think that if she can't handle it within the first month, we'll pull her out and enroll her the following year. Makes sense. Even Kierra's psychologist told me that she thought Karis could handle it. I do appreciate all the feed-back I got though - thanks!

We have a date night scheduled for Saturday. We haven't had once since August, because our respite gal moved away. I finally found someone - actually she knows the family, the kids and used to be Kierra's team coordinator. So it works out perfectly. We're going to look at three houses, then do some shopping, and go out for dinner.

Other than that, not much else going on. I'm waiting for tomorrow because that is when I can spend the $250.00 Gymboree Gymbucks I have. Sad I know but I'm not letting those babies go to waste!!!!!!

TTYL!

LIKE DANGLING A CARROT IN FRONT OF YA

How was your week-end?

Mine... was a great lesson in "why you should never look at things you can't possibly afford". You know I'm going to start where I left off on my last post dontcha? Houses... or more correctly said... a new house.

Ah yes, so last time we spoke I told you a tale of how much my husband was interested in looking at a new house. He shows me one in particular, and we decide to take a drive out to check it out. Now most people would think to make an appointment with the realtor of this property. My husband? No... he thinks we should just check out the area. This line of thinking never works. Why? Because once you get there, you actually want to SEE the house. Not do what we did... which was skulk around the perimeter and peer into windows like a bunch of yuppie burglars. I mean seriously - I'm sure the locals were looking at us and wondering who the dude in the Docker's and the chick swearing about her new leather boots getting dirty were. That'd be us - complete nerds. Not to mention the van full of kids watching "Toy story" on DVD in the driveway. We locked them in there - no worries. Don't report our asses to CFS. You just don't drag out three children into a yard that hasn't even been landscaped just so you can spy into what seemingly was a pretty nice house.

Since we were there, we did decide to hit a few open houses. To get a feel of the builder's out there. There is really only five major ones, and they each have their own flavor. So we go to one, which was really nice but entirely too small (one bedroom on main floor, and two in the basement? no thanks). After we go to this house that I SWEAR TO GOD, has ruined me forever. Why? Because it was perfect, and awesome, and beautiful, and wonderful and delightful... and it was also $1.5 million dollars. The worst part was absorbing every feature in that house, and saying "OMG a hundred and fifty times". Seriously... walk in the entry and I'm OMG! Go into the master suite OMG..... master bathroom a MAJOR OMG!!! I mean seriously, this house was so nice, it makes mine now look like a freakin' hovel. We talk casually to the realtor there and when she says the price, me and Jarrett start to laugh. She looks confused (she should think so; we are not in the right house obviously). I gaze adoringly at the sub-zero, brushed stainless steel double fridge, and OH the beautiful stove and gorgeous granite countertops... and the Bosch dishwasher (wait I have one of those) - and sigh. Jarrett explains we are looking $900,000.00 to 1.1 and nothing more than that. Realtor says, "What's an extra $400,000.00?" Um the difference between my family eating, and being featured in the local paper as family of five resorts to cannibalism after going house poor.

OK and before people go all crazy and think "holy shit seriously - did they rob a bank" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't forget where I live and the property values. This same house in say.... Houston, TX would probably only be $500,000.00 and my house now would be around $250,000.00. It's all relative. Here, you don't get the Playboy Mansion for a couple million. You get yourself a five bedroom house, that is around 4,600 sq feet. With lovely, lovely, lovely kitchens. And no fake hooter chicks.

In any case, the experience marred me. Why? Because anything else I look at now will be compared to the can't have house. I know it's horrible but how can you not? Unless we win the lottery (which we didn't - we checked our numbers), it's just not happening any time soon. But we haven't given up on the idea of moving out to this area. Because in spite of it all, it was extremely peaceful, the yards were large, and it was just relaxing!! Plus the view of the mountains were just wonderful. It renewed my interest in why I was trying to build a house out in that surrounding area last year... that is until Peter the Prick Contractor skewed my interest (jerk). In fact, I happened to notice that they poured the foundation on the lot we were going to build on, and I'm pretty sure it's the same foundation for the same house I actually designed myself (jerk).... that jerk. Still bitter? Just a tad.

And of course, once we got home we decided to make a list of all the things we had to do to this house before we could even put it on the market. My list contains 36 items. This sounds like a lot. Some of the chores are more cumbersome than others... but most of them are those little nit-picky things you just don't get around to because you just don't feel like being bothered. Like in the gym "fill in the nail holes on baseboards". Seriously not a big task but eh... I don't feel like it. "Fix the small hole in the entryway in the hardwood that your kid's therapist made"... yeah haven't done that either. I will say since she did that, she went on Jenny Craig and lost about 90 lbs.... plus the 5 wooden vent covers she stepped on and broke. Gotta replace those too (I just tried to re-glue them best I could). But our game plan is simple... go back to the house we didn't have access to today (the one we stalked), and if we like it, we get our house ready to list and go from there. Plus I told Jarrett he'd better make sure his company isn't planning on transferring him to freakin' Oklahoma this year or something. The fact that he had to re-order business cards for the same position is a dead giveaway this is possible (he's never been in the same position long enough to ever have to do this). That and the fact that we finished out our house. Every time we do that - BAM we get re-located.

Hopefully next week-end I'll shed some light onto this on-going pursuit of housing.

IMPULSIVE PRE-BUYING

Yesterday had great potential to be expensive. My husband thanks the cosmic forces that his wife had great impulse control. I don't think the cosmos had anything to do with it... all I had to do was envision the look on my husband's face when he walked in the door.

What could I be talking about?

One word: puppy.

Ok Ok, one wonders what the hell kind of dog would cause the good people at Mastercard to smile in delight. Well - a purebred yellow lab puppy worth $980.00. Don't look so shocked. I mean really - it was a very cute puppy and besides that - it's not like I bought her. But it has been a year since my sweet chocolate lab Roper passed away, and today actually would have been his 8th birthday. I miss him a lot, and I miss him even more whenever I see someone walking down the sidewalk with a happy brown, furry fellow. Labs have this incredible humanity about them. They actually think they are people, at least Roper did. And they have this way of "smiling" when they are happy. Yes they have the biggest ole lips around, they sag, and they slobber. But you always can see a lab smile. I miss Roper's smiles.

So of course I pried myself from the automatic doors of Petland and ran myself to the van and drove away; telling myself "Jarrett will kill you!"

That evening I couldn't help it. Well yes I could, because Karis bluntly announced, "Daddy we went and saw yellow puppies today!" SIGH - so much for my suave introduction to the topic of dogs. Jarrett gives me this look, and I smile and look down at the granite counter tops, tracing swirls of stone with my fingertip. He says,

"So ... what's up with that?"

I tell him innocently enough that we were just near the pet store because I had to buy new boots (by the way, he never asked me how much I spent on the new, beautiful brown leather boots - because he was too distracted by the dog-issue! HA!). So we popped in to see "all the animals" and they just "happened" to have yellow labs there. He asked me a few questions and then asked how much. He just about choked on his salad. He studies me for a moment and says, "So are you thinking about buying a dog?" I told him well I would, but I know he doesn't think we should. Our yard is way too small after all. I blurt out "Well I wasn't going to go behind your back and buy it!"

"I never said you would, I was just asking if you were thinking that you wanted to buy a dog".

I start to load dishes into the dishwasher and say well yes, now that a year has gone by since Roper died, I have opened myself to it again. Before I didn't think about it too much, it hurt still alot. Of course I start to cry - SHEESH!! Nothing more attractive than said housewife blubbering over the utensil tray. By the way, this is not a tactile maneouver to get what I want. I get emotional a lot, and start to bawl. It's horrible really; I get all blotchy and stuff. He tells me that he wouldn't buy one from Petland, they are over-inflated in their prices, and that he'd buy one from a local breeder. Which prompts us looking on-line at local breeders. No we didn't put in an order LOL. But it brings me to the next topic of the evening... our house.

Jarrett tells me that we don't' have the room for a dog right now. I know he's right. He says that he wishes when we were going to build, that we had just built in Montero Lakes, same area different location of the "house from hell that never did get built". I say well it's too late for that now, because of the housing market (give you an idea, I bought our house for $400,000.00 and it's now worth $725,000.00 two years later). He says, "Wellllllllllllllllll........"

HA he's sneaky too people because he goes into his brief case and pulls out this housing listing IN Montero Lakes. He shows me this house listed, that has a huge yard, is bigger than ours... and about 200 G more than ours. I smile at him and say "yeah?" We go online, and look at it. Of course it is gorgeous. It's brand new, never lived in. And he suggests we take a drive out there this week-end to "check out the area". Then says, "oh then we could have a dog". Now I don't know about you, but I think my fantom dog set the ground work for him to bring up a new house!! He was just bidding his time this guy! Next thing I know he whips out his calculator (that's not a metaphor, it really was his calculator) and starts figuring out how much the mortgage would be - which only turns out to be an extra $500.00.

So, am I getting a dog and a house? Oh who knows! I mean with us you can never tell. Things we do are outlandish, and not exactly pre-planned too often. We aren't impulsive, but we go with the flow. When opportunities present themselves, we are always willing to explore the possibilities. Anyways, I'll keep you all up-dated on the whole dog/house conundrum.

KIDS DO AND SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS

I have to tell you all this one, because I just about bust my gutt laughing over it.

I was at the chiropractor's this afternoon with Karis. She's been with me a few times, so I didn't really think anything of it. Dr. M was massaging out my neck and Karis asked him who he was and what he was doing. He explained to her that he was trying to fix the muscles in mommy's neck to which she said VERY loudly,

"Why are you feeling up my mommy?"

Stunned silence followed by a brief look at each other of "ummmmmmm" and then I did what anyone else would do, I started to crack up laughing to break the tension. Of course Dr. M laughed too and I quipped, "Well at least she said it here and not to my husband later". Kids - honestly they really do say the worst thing at the worst time.

In other news... I noticed the other day that Kierra was picking at her foot and went to see what the hubabub was about, and she had this really gross open sore on the underside of her middle toe. In fact it look like the skin was dug out and was very fleshy (sorry graphic, gross and possible vomit-a-la-mouth). I was disturbed because A) it was very deep and B) I wasn't sure what caused it. So being the wonderful mom I am, I took her to my doctor who looked at it. He frowned and told me he thought it might be a wart that split open. Didn't know that could happen, and really I was shocked he thought it was a wart. He said it wasn't infected (which is good), and that he wanted to do three sessions of freezing it. Well see here's my problem. I'm not sure it's a wart because he didn't even sound convinced. And I really don't want to do this to her skin if I don't have to. I obviously don't have a medical degree though, so I have to rely on him. My mom said possibly Kierra was picking and digging at it, and that she picked out most of it. The only part I could see is that it looked very calloused around the edges. Well I have to take her starting next week. I'm sure it will be traumatic.... for her too.

In other traumatizing news... I called around to find a pre-school for Karis for the fall where I was informed that she could actually be enrolled for Kindergarten! KINDERGARTEN??????? Apparently as long as she is four years old before March 1, 2008 - she can start Kindy this fall. Now I thought I had another whole year before I had to think about this. I mean I thought she'd start in 2009. And of course I'm conflicted as to whether or not I should send her? Do I think she can do it? Yes. Do I think she's ready to be separated from me? I hate to admit it but yeah - she's not clingy or "my mommy". She is independent and wants to do what the twins are doing. I'll admit I'm a little depressed about it. This is my baby!!!!!!!!! Enrollment starts next Monday. I'm sure to be brewding about it all week.

So anyways, that is my last few days worth of happenings. One would hope that next week will be a bit better, however considering we are freezing off warts... I wouldn't exactly count on it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARIS!

OMG - I have to pinch myself to the point I have to slap myself to stop the pinching... my BABY IS FOUR YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!! How can this be? Didn't I just spend last week complaining, "Is this kid ever going to get out of me?", "Jarrett seriously, I can't get my panties on - you need to help me..." and "why the hell did I agree to an elective c-section tomorrow morning?"

Yeah this is me one week before my bundle arrived (and when I was the hugest pain in the ass to walk the face of this earth barefoot and pregnant.


Fast forward (very fast forward) four years and now I'm looking at a chipper little girl with big brown eyes, funky pigtails and an insane adoration for Hello Kitty. My baby isn't a baby anymore. What makes it even more clear is the fact that I went through her closet and found actual baby blankets on the top shelf that she hasn't been swaddled in for over three years. SIGH - they still smell like Dreft baby detergent.



Funny thing is Karis should have never existed. I don't mean that in a mean "man you were an accident" way. Seriously, we were told we had about a 7% chance of ever naturally conceiving. So basically - don't expect too much. We did the IVF and all that fun stuff, got the twins - and figured perfect! Who knew when we celebrated their first birthday I'd have a 2 months worth of gestating bundle in my tummy? I was so shocked that when the pregnancy test turned positive, I turned white, yelled "holy fuck!" and ran out of the bathroom with my stunned husband staring at the little pee stick. And don't get me wrong, after the shock we were ecstatic! I mean never in our wildest dreams did we ever think I'd ever have another baby. I mean we choose to drop the birth control when the twins were 9 months and said "we'll leave it in God's hands". We just didn't think God would throw us a bone two months later! But I always refer to Karis as one of my miracle babies. Sure she wasn't the result of years of fruitless attempts at conceiving, or incessant needles in my backside, and surgeries and anything else sterile you can think of. But she was still my 7% miracle baby that decided to prove to me that sometimes life is full of surprises. It was no wonder my 7% was born on the 7th.

Am I sad? Yeah - nostalgic too. I was looking at her first year photo album and remembering all the funny little things she used to do. Like: she was such a sweaty baby that every time I breastfed her, the side of the head resting on my arm was completely soaking (as was my sleeve), that she used to try to suck Jarrett's face all the time, that she held her hair when she had enough to hold onto... I MISS those things. But you know, for all that I miss, I look forward to even more. First days at school, first sleep-overs, first ...... well we'll skip the traumatized mommy teen years. Let's just hope she'll be a little better-behaved than I was.

So this week-end we had the big party. Hello Kitty (shocked aren't you?), and it was a huge success. Child got so much Hello Kitty, I feel I should own 50% stock in that company. She is constantly telling me that she's growing (even though she still has 3T pants that are too long for her - she inherited MIL's stubby legs). Today is the actual day though, and it's bittersweet for sure. The only thing stopping me from crying my eyes out is how apparent it is that she still needs me. She still needs mommy when she's hurt, she still needs mommy to help her wipe her bum (lol well that's not my hi-light), and she still just needs mommy. What else can you ask for on your daughter's fourth birthday?

WHEN 2008 STARTS OFF A LITTLE "OFF"

First... Happy New Year to all!! Hope you had fun ringing in the New Year, and sending out the old in style!!!

Me? I spent it with an incurring migraine headache. Yeah I know - my cranium sucks. Thank the Lord above for the bounty of which is Axert. Without it, I might be functional the next day, but in a lot of pain. Instead, I get to walk around in the cloud defined best as medhead, but hey - at least I can stand the light of day. Just so you don't feel completely sad for me, I treated myself to a massage for one hour today. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also, there is the potential of a family feud to start up in any given moment. Not MY family - we are talking about those in laws of mine. Let's just say they did something rather stupid, thoughtless and ignorant last summer and it's finally caught up to them. The key player being one of his sister's who innocently sent hubby an email asking if he was mad at her, because if so, she was sorry. HOWEVER, she had no clue what he could be mad about. Here's a clue dumb shit: you purposely didn't bother to invite your own brother to your baby's baptism because of something that happened 3 years ago (which you never had any business getting mad about in the first place). WE figured it out ourselves the week-end before the event, but no one told us anything, has mentioned anything about it... just went on their business. His parents don't even mention her name during the weekly phone call (probably because it gives us a window to bring it up). Instead, we decided to let the issue of how big of assholes they all are to twist in the wind a little; why bring it up? Instead it's been rather amusing watching his family dance around it so as to not cause a controversy. I guess this is what happens when the best laid out plans aren't so best laid out. We have made a point of not calling her (she's not called us either) since August. Jarrett figured she can call him if she has something to say. I guess she had nothing to say (or was scared of a potential confrontation). So when his mom on Christmas Day asked if Jarrett wanted to talk to his sister, and he said "no that's okay" - this started the ball rolling so to speak. It started with "did you two have a falling out" to Jarrett's non-commital answer, and then to his sister sending him an email to his work (he's been off since the 21st) to ask him what's up. So far he hasn't even replied to her email asking if he's mad.
I'm sure this is driving her insane - as she knows he opened the email because she gets a notice when her emails are opened. Asking my husband why he hasn't said anything yet, he replies with a smile "I just don't feel like it". Lordy - you know this is going to get very ugly, very quickly.

The thing that intrigues me is HOW IN THE WORLD she can't think this would cause a problem? I honestly don't know if they haven't figured out that we KNEW ALL ALONG about this baptism we weren't invited to. Maybe she didn't want to bring it up as a possible "pissy factor" because she's not sure if she'll be putting something out there that we weren't aware of. Or maybe she's just ignorant. Or maybe she just doesn't feel sorry at all about it. I'm going with either option 1 or 3. In any case, she won't be getting off scott free by the time Jarrett is done with her. The worst part is his whole family obviously knew about it, because NONE OF THEM said anything to us about this baptism either. Bad mistake in our books. It's essentially admitting to choosing sides to something that is utterly ridiculous.

ANYWAYS.... as you can see, my family issues are already prevalent so little into a new year. At least I'm not in Britney Spears' shoes (ugh she's got issues), but here's to hoping for better, and happier, things to come.