LOTS OF ANNOUNCEMENTS

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a ton of announcements so let me just start by saying, I know I've been away a while, but after you read this you'll fully forgive me.

First off, I had my in-laws here for a week about two weeks ago. During that time, my twins turned 6 years old!! I hosted a party for them with 13 children (yes you read that right!). It went really well though. The girls had a blast and felt extremely nostalgic. During the inlaw week-long visit, it rained. I don't mean it rained a little. I mean it rained the ENTIRE time they were here. Therefore we didn't do too much of anything!

After that we had company coming for another 10 days. These were our good friends from North Dakota. We went to university with them, they were in our wedding party when Jarrett and I got married. Long history!!! We had a BLAST!! Honestly I haven't had that much fun in ages!! We went to Banff, we went to the Zoo, we went shopping and to lunch.... She was even awesome enough to come with me to my next job and help me paint a bedroom!!!!! Honestly, was very sad to see her have to go home, but it was such a good visit that I just look forward to doing it again!!!

Kierra's cast is off!!! Thank God!!!! Jarrett took her to a clinic where they do cast removal, he started to saw it, she started to scream, and the doctor states, "I can't do this, you have to take her to the ER at Children's!" Jarrett just looked at him with a you gotta be kidding me look. I mean who clogs up the ER with a cast removal? He insists he can't do it because she's screaming. Jarrett pretty much calls him a pussy, and then proceeds to the ER, where he spent five hours waiting. Once he gets in, they decide that they could sedate her (which isn't happening), so then they get four other adults to help Jarrett hold her down while they take off the cast. It took all five of them to hold her down, and they were amazed how strong she was!!! So one tramatized kid later, Kierra is now cast-free and running about like a mad child!!!

The twins are done school, so I officially have Kindergarten graduates!!! Jenna was really sad because she loves her teacher and doesn't want a new one in the fall. I'm trying to tell her that it's just the way it is, and she'll love her next teacher too. She wasn't convinced and had grand hysterics in the schoolyard on her last day. Poor kid!!! They both passed (does anyone "fail" kindy anymore?), and now the countdown of 60 days begins.

Karis and Jenna also had their dance receital, which was extremely cute and done at the worst possible time of day 11:00 to 1:30. By the time it was over, I had children crying and screaming at me because they were hungry. I had to shower them to get the make-up and hairspray off of them. Try to shower children who are screaming at you with all they got!!! It's insane!!! After daddy got McDonald's and you never heard so much content chewing in your life!!!!

Anyways, that's about it for me. I am really busy with my business (oh I registered it btw!), and I'm working on three rooms simultaniously right now. No I don't mind the stress really LOL. Hope everyone is doing well, and I'll be updating soon!!!

I NEED A BREAK

Well lots has happened since my last post.

To start off with: Kierra is now sporting a cast on her lower leg. Last Saturday she had an accident on the swing where she must've gotten her foot caught as she swung up. I wasn't there (I was on a date with my hubby), however she was with her babysitter who didn't actually see what happened. She just knows Kierra started to cry, which is something that doesn't happen often when she gets hurt. I find out about this incident around 10:30 pm when we get home. She says her ankle is really swollen. THAT was an understatement! It was huge!!

The next day, hubby takes her to a walk-in and they decide it's probably sprained but they want to send her for x-rays. So he takes her for the x-rays, comes back to the clinic, and they say they suspect a bad sprain. However they will call us if there is anything that comes up from the radiologist. The next day, she goes to school.

Tuesday morning I get a call from the doctor clinic asking me to bring Kierra in. I ask why but they won't say. FINE! So I pull her out of school for the afternoon and head to the clinic, where they actually misplaced her file, asked me three times why I was there (um derr cause you called me in!). Get into the room and the doctor wants to know what I want...... again derrr. Finally he figures it all out and says, "Oh well the radiologist thinks there is buckling on her tibia and fibula from a greenstick fracture". Oh nice..... Wait there's more! "looks like there could be a hairline fracture on the top of her foot too. She should have been casted on Saturday".

So basically the idiots that sent her home on Sunday, and then didn't call on Monday, but waited three days while she hopped and walked around on it decided she should have a cast. Then he tells me to take her to Children's Hospital ER with this note from him.

So I get Jenna out of school, take her and Karis to the neighbors and head up to Children's Hospital. Where the parking meters (both of them) are broken. I figure fuck it, I don't have time to go looking for a functional meter somewhere else. I get in and wait for triage and one of the guards tells me I could go to the parkade to pay. Why the hell should I? You guys have an ER where parents bring in children who are sick, but you want us to run around like chicken's with cut off heads because you're parking meters in the ER parking lot are broken? Screw that! I told him let them write me a ticket, I'd love to see it (btw: I didn't get a ticket after parking there for over 5 hours).

After a long while, the doctor comes in and decides he wants to see the radiology CD I had from the week-end. He goes off, and I think he must've left on sabitical or something. He finally comes back and decides he's not sure (huh?), so let's call someone down from Radiology to look at it. In that time, he kicks us out of our room and makes us sit in chairs in the hallway. 20 minutes later he comes back and says two greenstick fractures in the leg, one in the foot and badly sprained ankle - we have to cast it. So we gather up our stuff and go back into the room. And wait.... and wait.... and wait..... They bring in the casting cart and I'm hopeful but I wait... and wait... and wait. I see the doctor put on a gown to keep his pants clean and guess what? I wait some more as I listen to some poor child screaming because they are trying to put an IV in. Then a code blue (that was accidental apparently). FINALLY he comes and puts this cast on. He finishes and tells me to suspend her foot by hanging onto her toes for 15 minutes while it dries because he's done. Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Kierra giggles the entire time thankfully - but I mean you can only laugh so long when someone is holding up a heavy casted leg that hurts, by your toes no less. Finally the thing sets (she picked green), and we get ready to leave. I'm waiting for discharge papers or directions or something. Nurse comes in, shoves a pamphlet at me and tells me to come back in 3 weeks and they'll remove it. Then Kierra get's pissed because her shoe obviously doesn't fit over her cast. I inquire what does she walk with. She won't use the crutches. So the nurse brings this little walking sandal. How summery! Now it's 7:30pm and we haven't had dinner. Me being nice mom, takes her to Wendy's.

All this time my husband is out of town by the way. He's in a conference that he company has every year.... in Banff. I call him to tell him I'm in the ER, then later to say Kierra is being casted. So he took my cue and came home a day earlier. What a sport! Of course he's pissed (as am I) at the original doctor from Sunday.

Ask me if this has slowed Kierra down..... no. She's runnning and doing this little gimpy hop cast and all. The child is insane!!! She'd ride her bike if you let her. In fact she wants to play at the playground. I have a feeling it's going to be a long three weeks .... for both of us.

A MONTH GONE BY?

.... since my last post? Wow I'm officially the crappiest blogger in blogland LOL. In my defense - I have had more than my fair share of stuff going on in the last month. So I'm just going to use that as my excuse and get down to business...

1) SCHOOL SITUATION: Has been resolved in a manner that is favorable to us. Basically had a sit-down meeting with the Principal.... the first half of the meeting was negative and seemed to be going no where fast. The second half did a drastic 180 in which we were told that all the kids could attend the school. It eluded me to the point I didn't quite understand what had even happened. Jarrett had to actually interrupt my continual bantering to say "we are very happy" - to which I immediately shut my mouth. So that is over and done with! I must admit - a little shocked it worked out. Jarrett concedes that he always knew it would. I'm just going to say I'm happy it's over. I can sleep again (which is good - I need to sleep otherwise I'm a total crab-ass).

2) BUSINESS I'm in the midst of completing my first project... which I am very happy with and am having tons of fun! It's a little girl room, and I basically have full discretion to do whatever I please. One would think this is a good thing... it's double-edged because I have to now meet my own insane standards which is quite possibly worse than anyone else's when it comes to sheer pickiness. I hope to be done by the end of May. I will post before/after pictures.

3) RING: Did I mention in the midst of the school explosion that my husband gave me our 10 year anniversary gift a little early? He gave me a 3.75 total weight diamond ring!! The middle stone is about 1.5 carats, accented with two side stones and pave about 3/4 of the way around the band. I'm in love with it!!! He decided either give it to me now, or let it sit in the safety deposit box. He opted for the first... and I'm most happy he did! Our actual anniversary is October. Can I say this man just is the most amazing husband?


(These pictures were added for Schmitty who wants to give her husband a hint. Dear Schmitty's Husband.... hint hint hint!!!)





4) SOCIAL EVENT: I also went to my brother's engagement party for a "just me" week-end. Me: no kids, no husband. Actually it was Jarrett who decided I needed to go to "represent" us. It was nice (except I got a nasty cold just before) - and I had the best time! I went with my friend from high school and, according to my mother, it was like high school all over again. I'm not much for drinking but I did my best to pretend I was seasoned at it during this party. By the end, my friend crashed with me at my parents house and we did shots with my mom in the bar until 3am. Needless to say I had a hang-over. However, I am told that we were a ton of fun! I also got to rub my sister's pregnant belly multiple times. Aunty loves her baby bellies!

5) VISITING: I'm so happy that our great friends from Grand Forks (C & S) are coming to visit us in a month!!!!!! It was such a surprise that "S" had a conference here in Calgary! I'm totally stoked since we don't get to see them very often (unless one of us is popping out a baby and are hosting a Christening). I can't wait to see them and I know we are going to have an awesome time!!!!!!!!!!

6) LOUIS VUITTON: Anyone that has read this blog since the beginning knows of my unnatural infatuation with Louis Vuitton. It's a sickness really. However, a friend of mine just came back from Paris and bestowed upon me a LV wallet! I just about dropped over when she gave me the little brown box. For those of you that don't "get" this that's okay. My own husband doesn't get it, but says the sheer bliss on my face is priceless. That and he accidentally almost spilled syrup on my LV purse at the Mother's Day brunch and almost had a panic attack. He must have feared for his life. Rightfully so! LOL.

7) FAMILY GET-AWAY: Jarrett's company decided he works too hard (they are right), and that he needed to have a family get-away (right again). Therefore they decided to send us on a week-end together, all expenses paid! We decided on West Edmonton Mall. Those of you not familiar, it is the biggest mall in North America (bigger than Mall of America). It has an amazing indoor waterpark that has this massive wave pool, and amusement park! We had a BLAST! The girls had a blast!! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!! Here I am with water up my nose, trying to keep my kid's head from being bombarded by a wave, and I'm giggling like a dope!!! I practially lost my bathing suit top from the sheer force of simulated rip tides - I'm laughing like a hyena. Honestly it was wonderful!!!

So that's my month in a nutshell. I realize it's much to absorb. Sorry that I'm been basically a shit about keeping up with this blog (and keeping up with all of you). I guess life has a way of keeping you so preoccupied, you don't know whether you are coming or going. I guess as long as you are smiling in spite of the confusion - it isn't too bad!

JUST CRAP

There is so much crap going on in my life this last week, it's just draining to even really get into the whole nitty gritty of it all. First though, I'll answer the previous question about the business everyone wants to know about.

I am looking to start a business in home design, specifically children rooms and nurseries. I have my first "client" coming next Wednesday to discuss ideas... she has two rooms for me to do. I'm excited about it, unfortunately crap this week is really put a damper on that excitement.

On Tuesday I got a call from the girl's school saying there was an issue for funding for Kierra's educational needs for the next school year. They said that the Board of Education (BE) would only give funding if the girls were at their designated school (which is in a crap part of town, no thank-you!). This is why we had them released from this school, so they could register at this one. In fact, Karis is also registered to attend Kindergarten this Fall. The principal wants me to drive to the school every day to monitor Kierra during the lunch hour, and volunteer every day. So essentially sit at school all day and babysit my child. I told her I have Karis still at home (half days, she's registered for Kindergarten this Fall there), and that I can't be at the school. She suggested I hire a nanny to watch Karis... and then said I could hire a nanny to volunteer at the school instead. SAY WHAT? I asked if this could be solved by us hiring our own aide, to which she said no, we can't do that. The school can only hire aides, but it's not in their budget to do so.

The next day I get another call saying I have to withdraw all three of my children from this school because they will not use their budget for Kierra's needs. I needed to register them at their designated school. First off, why are you kicking out all three? Second, why on earth did this just become an issue now? They KNEW this obviously beforehand. The BE did their own eval last spring for Kierra, determined she could be intergrated into a normal school, and that she could attend this school. Now they don't want to fund her education? She had provincial PUF funding, but that ends at six years old (this June). They never told us that there would't be funding after Kindergarten. In fact I didn't even know of this little tidbit until AFTER she kicked my kids out. I know that she had her mind made up the day before, she was just called me as a guise so it didn't totally come out of left field. She prattled on and on, and I told her I had to go, because I was upset and couldn't finish this conversation right then. Hung up and basically bawled my face off.

Needless to say I've been a wreck. I can't sleep, I'm stressed to the point I'm physically ill, and losing weight (this isn't actually a bad thing). As of this morning, we sent a letter to the school, asking for all these facts to be responded to by writing, sent a copy to the Trustee of the Board of Education, two MLA's, the Superintendant of the school, and the Director. If this doesn't work, we'll be going to the press and contacting the Canadian Society for Autism.

We want to know why they would accept a child out of their designated area, with full disclosure of her autism diagnosis if they weren't prepared to take care of her educational needs? It's not like they didn't know. We want to know why they won't transfer this funding (or if she even asked if it could be done)? We want to know why the other two are being asked to leave, and if other children that are not part of this district are being asked to leave as well? I know they aren't because our neighbor's son goes to the same school. In fact, they opened their doors to other undesignated districts because of low enrollment rates, and that they were at risky for being shut down. I want to know how they can use a loophole to basically turn my child away from a school she loves and excels at? If any of you can answer this, I'd love to hear it. But honestly, anyone that could rationalize this to me is basically as ignorant as the people I'm dealing with right now.

CUE THE TUMBLEWEED TO FLOAT BY THE DESSERTED BLOG

Hi. I wonder if anyone even comes by here anymore? LOL. I'm not sure why they would considering I've been missing for almost a month now. I've been so preoccupied lately, I just don't even have the time to sit down and write.

So much has been going on I couldn't even possibly sit here and type about it. It's all a jumbled mess. I'll do a quick re-cap:

* Kierra got her contract for services extended another year
* I started running and exercising more
* Jarrett bought a new barbeque
* my mom and sister had a huge fight (with me in the middle of it) but now it's resolved
* I've been decorating my kids' rooms
* I'm in the process of starting up my own business
* My kids are driving me nuts!

So that's it in an eggshell!! Hope everyone is doing okay!!

YOU KNEW I'D BE BACK

Don't worry - I didn't succumb to the evil green onion e coli rampage. I've just been extremely busy the last week, I haven't had time to even think about putting together any tangible thoughts. But I'm back now - so all is good.

Since I left off, me and the hubby got the Guitar Hero package. We spent Friday and Saturday night jamming. I had to laugh at how addictive this game actually is. That and me and Jarrett have a "friendly" competitive nature between us. Actually he kicked my ass in most face offs. The only time I could kick his when it was a complicated song like Santana or Metallica's "One". I told him this means I have more raw talent. Plus he played before when I hadn't - it's no wonder he dominated. His friend's found out that we have it, and actually invited themselves over this week-end. Not sure how that happened: seems one guy said "Hey I'll come jam with you" and then texted another one to join in. I said, "Wow nice of them to let us know they are coming". Sheesh! You will laugh when I tell you that I decorated my guitar not with the standard rock n roll stickers that come with the set, but rather with Karis' Hello Kitty stickers. Yes you read right - I put Hello Kitty all over my guitar! So I'd like to see the look on the guy's faces when one of them is forced to play on the Hello Kitty guitar. It may be a little immasculating. I think it's funny as hell. I might even offer to paint their toenails when they are between sets.

Sunday afternoon I was invited to a friend's house and she had a spa party. It consisted of new age tranquil music, a glass of white wine, and a facial, and hand and foot treatments! AHHHHH!!!!! My pores are refined, my face is dermabraised and supple, my hands look like I don't wash dishes, and my feet don't look like cloven hooves. All in all, it was a good time. PLUS I didn't have to contend with any children whatsoever! Of course the ackward part was at the end, when the hostess was trying to pimp out all the products. I loved the line, "All these products are valued at $650.00 - but if you buy into the plan, you can get it all for $150.00". I mean c'mon! I'm more than happy to go to London Drug and buy my Vichy stuff. And I'm not so old yet that I need special cream for crow's feet. Give me some time before that phase of my life. I jokingly said, "Whatever a cream can't fix, botox can". Watch, the next invite I'll get will be to a Botox party.

The girls will be out on Spring Break starting in T minus two days. Ahhhhh, 13 glorious days in a row with my children. I sound like a cold-hearted bitch. Actually I'm at a loss how I'll occupy Kierra that whole time. Whenever she's bored, she gets busy. Busy to her means being destructive and making me want to hit the liquor cabinet. Jarrett was kind enough to take a day off to help break it up a bit. I was initially hoping to go to my parents for Easter/Spring Break, but when that plan fell through, I knew I was going to have to go solo.

Anyways, that's about it for me. I'm trying to think of reasons why I shouldn't make the trip to the dry cleaners to drop off Jarrett's shirts, but since I can't - I best be on my way. Cheers!

DEATH BY ONIONS

I am currently under the weather. After another famed Kierra "taco night", Jarrett and I both succumbed to the wretchedness of food poisoning. Before you think "hell I'm never going to her house for dinner", let me get one thing straight. It wasn't my fault! It was the blasted green onions! It is the only logical explanation because the kids ate everything we did EXCEPT for the green onions. They are fine -no explosive diarrhea, no projectile vomiting, no pounding headaches. WE didn't get off so lucky. I started to feel ill half-way through my massage last night. At first I passed it off as nothing, got home around 8:00pm and thought I was going to vomit on the couch. I ate about a truckload of Tums trying to soothe my boiling stomach. My darling husband complained he has "gas", and asked how I felt. I just layed on the couch with my eyes closed. I soon went to bed and found out soon enough Jarrett had it worse than me (he ate more of the onions), as he spent most of the night throwing up in the basement bathroom as to not wake the rest of the family. Unfortunately for him, he didn't quite make it there in time, and spent a good forty minutes cleaning up his mess. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to clean it up for him because I'm not good with puke messes. Case in point: if one of my children is throwing up in the toilet, I'm throwing up in the bathroom sink alongside. This morning so far consists of running to and fro from the bathroom, and feeling like my stomach is eating itself. FUN!!!

I will say yesterday did start off having the potential of being a lovely evening. First off, I managed to get my crafty little hands on a Nintendo Wii system quite by accident. I've been looking for one for the hubster for months, but to no avail. They are hard suckers to get a hold of (unless you want to be completely ripped off on Ebay). I was in Wal-Mart Monday afternoon and all of a sudden, like a voice from the Heavens, an announcement was made that a shipment of Wii's just came in, and it was first come, first serve! I grabbed Karis' hand and dragged her to the electronics - dodging between other frantic mother's with small children, who were bounding down the aisle like gazelles. I managed to be third in line. The patrons were mostly women - all looking to buy this system for their A) son, B) husband or C) significant other. We all laughed how crazy it was that we were so insane about buying one - yet none of us would give up her spot. If the fire alarm had gone off, most of us probably would have sat there with our hair on fire, waiting with our Visas. It didn't matter if babies were crying or a child lost his shoe back in the Hallmark card section. All that mattered was receiving the coveted game system. They just took them straight out of the crate, and put them in bags for purchase. $285.00 later - I was the proud owner of a Wii (this is such a sad statement .... really it is).

The funniest part was going through the store afterwards since I had shopping to do still (and had to find my discarded cart from before) - was the men in the store that weren't fortunate to get in the line before they all sold out in about ten minutes flat!!! They could see the black letters "w i i " through the bag, and were longingly looking at the bag. It was almost dirty in a way. I felt like Indiana Jones or something - ready for this tribe of crazed husbands to take me out for my bag. People asked if there were anymore - I shock my head and considered trying to make a buck off this Wii. I mean surely I could make at least $100.00 in 10 minutes time? However, I re-thought it, because I really wanted to surprise Jarrett. This would be the one thing he'd never expect.

When I gave it to him last night, he laughed... he almost picked up an XBox 360 on the way home for work!!! He wanted Guitar Hero III but you can only get it around here for the PC or XBox. He resigned to the fact it's either the XBox or nothing. Since his huge Guitar Hero blister (I mean boys night) - he has been absolutely insistent that we get this. Don't think I didn't try to get Guitar Hero. I went canvassing the local stores but I was laughed at by numerous salespeople. I was told unless I was standing at the door when they opened, on the day the shipment came in - good luck! REALLY? Are people this crazed? (says the woman who just ran through Wal-Mart like a psychiatric patient). Jarrett had a huge smile and probably looked the way I looked when he gave me that Louis Vuitton purse. His smile quickly became loud cussing, as he spent the better part of two hours trying to figure out why it wasn't hooking up properly. I suggested having a receiver, a switch box, stereo system, ipod docking station, and DVD player hooked up already could make it a trickier issue than he originally thought. I actually went to bed at 10:00 (already feeling nauseous), and he woke me up around 11:00 to brightly declare "I got it hooked up!" He actually made me get out of bed, so I could watch him play the Simpson's Game. This didn't do wonders for my stomach though, since I already feel like blowing chunks. However, we did go online to Ebay and bought a new Wii Guitar Hero III bundle with the second guitar for $235.00. So in less than 24 hours, I spent $520.00 on my husband.

I try not to think of the starving children in Africa.

I also try not to think about tacos.

PARADE OF CHILDREN

WOW! The last few days have been complete and utter chaos. Yes, I did get a good snooze in after my last posting. Thank you Melatonin!!! However, I needed the Z's .... you'll see why in a minute.

Thursday I started off my day very leisurely. Kierra had just left with her therapist for Kids Day Out, and I was hand-painting some crafts for the twins new bedroom. When I get a call from the twins school. I answer and the receptionist tells me my friend "A" needs me to go pick up her daughter at her pre-school because she is having a medical issue. I guess after dropping off her daughter, she was taking her son to school, and she started to get vertigo and feel faint. She got to the school and had them call me, her emergency contact. A few months ago, I got a call from the same friend who had passed out and hit her head at home. I had to call the ambulance then. So I get Jenna and Karis into the minivan, get over to the pre-school, and pick up the daughter. Then I go to the other school, to go pick up the son from Kindergarten. I figured I better do it while Kierra was still out with her therapist since I only have three carseats in my car. Have you done the math yet? I had two kids, picked up one, and was getting one more.

I get to the school and "A" has called a cab to take her to the doctor's office. She tells me to take the booster carseat out of her van and shove it in mine. I say great! Until I realize the space between the two carseats on the third row is way too narrow. And of course, the middle seats are buckets, and one is out of it since we never use the thing. WHOOPS!! So I say, "Now what do I do?" She tells me to just strap him into the seat between the carseats without the booster, it's only 10 minutes away from home. I'm freaking... he's not restrained in a carseat? But what other option do I have now? I can't even carry the second bucket seat out of the basement if I wanted. Her husband is in the air to Toronto.... So I tell her O.K., but if I get a ticket she's paying for it! (I find out after that as long as your child is over 45 lbs, they can sit in the car like that, even though not recommended - which is good from that standpoint). So I buckle this poor kid in so tight, he can barely breathe, and drive half the speed limit home.

About an hour later, she calls to say her doctor told her she had a panic attack, and he's putting her on some med's. I told her come to my house and she can hang with us. She gets there, has a bit of a meltdown, and we try to get a hold of her husband. He just flew for four hours... and he gets off his plane and his wife tells him "turn around"... and he humps it over to the ticket counter to get onto the next flight home... another four hours in the air. She also has no vehicle because it's still at the school (although she can't drive anyways). I decide to take the twins to school, go get her prescription, and give her a phone and tell her "sit on my couch, don't move and call me if you have any problems. I can't take all five kids with me in the van. After all this, she feels okay enough to go home. Since she lives next door I say ok, and she's to call if anything goes wrong. Her husband's plane was delayed two hours, he didn't get home until 9:00pm!

The next day, I'm getting the house organized because I have another friend's son coming over for lunch and I'm taking the three of them to school (the girls are in the same class as him). The night before Jarrett has to haul up the second bucket seat for the van, so I can put his booster seat into the van (I didn't like driving around a child like that). Around 9:30am, I get a knock on my door. It's "A"'s husband who says they are going to pick up the van, could I take their daughter for a bit since her carseat is in the van. I say sure, send her downstairs with the girls. The husband comes back, without the van, telling me that "A" had another panic attack while driving to go pick up the van... so the van is STILL at the school! So me being nice tell him why don't they leave their daughter with me for a bit, so "A" can take her med's and settle down for a bit. This turns out until 15 minutes before the other boy comes over, I get a fifteen minute reprieve, and then get my new tenant for lunch. For the next hour I get a taste of what having triplets would have been like, stuff all these kids into the van, and take them to this church, because they are having rehearsals for a play they are doing later that night. I get to the church, basically toss three children out of a still-moving van (I'm just kidding) and now I only have one. One little girl who harrasses me continously where we are going. I can't give her back to her mommy ... because I AM her mommy!!

Two hours of "ME" time at home, and I run back to the school to collect my children. Then that evening they had their concert, so we had to doll up the twins, shove everyone back into the minivan, trying to manuveur around the stupid second bucket seat in everyone's way. I tell Jarrett "would you take this freakin' thing out?" and he does, and knocks my side mirror out all to hell. SIGH - we get to the concert and the line is insane! Our neighbor-husband is there with his son and "A" stayed home since she was tranquillized. We decided to adopt him for the evening (well Karis did), and he sat with us for the next hour and half for this performance. I will add now it started at 7:00 pm, and my kids go to bed around 7:30pm. So we watched, it was cute. Karis did a insane jig everytime music came on - most parents were watching her instead of their own kids. At 8:30 - I collect my girls and Jenna is standing next to a classmate that is wearing the exact same frilly peach dress as her! Oh lord! Who would guess? I mean I bought it two years ago? So Jenna is lamenting about having this major fashion faux pas happen to her. We tell our friend we'll swing by the school, and Jarrett can drive his minivan back to the house for him. Get home, brush our children's teeth by putting all their faces smooshed together and making one broad brushing motion - and tuck them in. I swear - less than five minutes and they were ALL sleeping!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So this concludes my last two days of panamonium. I hoped you enjoyed reading this - moreso than I enjoyed living it! Lesson in all this? There is none LOL.

SLEEP... I NEED SLEEP!!!

I'm having one of those evenings where I'm tired, and I can't fall asleep. It's insomnia for dummies. I took a melatonin about an hour ago, and I think it's finally kicking in. I'm not quite "there" yet (this would mean to the point I'm so tired, I don't care that my husband is snoring in my face). I hope to be there soon.

I get like this every once in a while. It's not for any real reason, mostly because my stupid brain won't shut off. It's stuck in auto-pilot and demanding my conscious attention. Like what I did today, conversations I had... mindless stuff that would make any normal person fall asleep within three seconds from the sheer boredom. I knew from about 8:00 onwards this was going to happen because I was getting the jittery legs. That's usually my tell-tale sign that I'm on a high anxiety level. Perhaps if I did a few jumping jacks, I could mellow out. But since I already took off my bra for the night, I won't be doing that. They aren't mighty, but hey - they still hurt when you jump around unsupported.

So I guess I'll recap today's events: IPP Meeting. It was, more or less, a complete waste of gasoline. By the way... how you liking those gas prices? Pretty grotestque wouldn't you say? It's already 109.9 here in Canada. I remember thinking 103 was high. They say it's going much higher soon. My husband loves it. He works for an oil pipeline company. In the end, it lines his pockets. Sorry it's the truth. Please don't throw flaming bags of poo at my house. I digress: the trip was a waste of over-priced fuel. I reminded myself why I hate the drivers around here - they are idiots. They are practically driving so far up your ass, you feel the need to stop and ask them if they plan on buying me dinner after. But I did arrive at said destination, did the meeting (which was pointless). All we talked about is whether Kierra is saying consonant/vowel words properly, and why she won't go into a public restroom with a self-flushing toilet. Sigh! Educated minds hard at work. On a good note, it was the consensus that she's doing really well, and has been consistent in her progress since she first started up with the Foundation a little over two years ago. Everyone agrees she's always changing in a positive way (tell that to the mom who scrubbed red permanent marker off the same kid three days before). After, I took the kids to McDonalds - that was the highlight of the day since I'm dieting now.

I'm still awake... why am I still awake?????????

Kierra got her first invitation to a birthday party this Saturday. Seems odd to be excited about it, but this is the first time Kierra has gotten invited to a birthday. Usually Jenna is the only one invited. So I'm kinda excited for her! I also took the kids to get their ears pierced last Friday. Jenna has been hounding me forever, and finally we decided "fine let's do it". Karis chimmed in that she wanted some too, so I took all three girls to get their ears pierced. Jenna got hers, and hardly winced. She was very proud. Kierra watched Jenna, and then decided no thanks I'll pass. Karis decided she wanted those earrings, and she got them, along with screaming in my ear for about two mintues after they were finished putting them in. I got the nastiest look from an older woman. You'd think I just branded the child with a cattle prod or something! Sheesh! So Jenna spent the entire day afterwards telling her teacher she was royalty now. Wow - is that all it takes in this day and age? Some purple stone earrings?

I'm slowly becoming delusional with fatigue....

My neighbor keeps asking me how my purse is... like it's a sick child. I get that it's a Louis Vuitton purse, and it's lovely... but why ask me about it every time you see me? She's asked me three times now, "How is the purse?", another day "oh so you are out with your purse huh?" OKAY, it's not like I'm convorting around the City with some hot Italian guy that's not my husband. It's a freakin' purse! I'm starting to avoid meeting her out in the driveways - it's become a source of... well weirdness. I'm begining to think that I'd get less attention if I was carrying around one of those useless teacup dogs around under my arm (which by the way, I totally don't get the appeal of that). Besides, my purse doesn't shit in my house. Case closed - purse wins hands down as preferred accessory. Even so I'm still quite mystified about why so many questions.

Almost ready to go to bed now.....

My husband was kind enough to spring for a plane ticket to go to my brother's engagement social. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept: it's like a social event that charges money for entrance, and for drinks... you booze it up and you exchange nice with other people, and the proceeds go towards the bride and groom's wedding. So this is at the end of April. I'm going alone, since flying with three kids is a waste of money for one week-end. It should be a fun time. Plus, I can poke at my sister's expanding middle.

OK I'm officially done. I don't even think I'm talking clearly at this point. I've forgotten the previous sentence before I even started to write the next. You know you are ready to snooze when it gets to that point. Plus now I have to haul my ass up the stairs.... I wonder if the landing is a comfortable place to crash????

IPP TIME

It's that bi-annual time of year again.... IPP week for Kierra. Bah - can I just say how much of a love/hate relationship I have with this?

For those of you clueless of what an IPP is, it's basically a fifteen inch thick document that spells out all the goals you have for your child, the areas you want worked on, and how those goals are broken down. It's reviewed once a year, and you rate how far your child has come on that specific goal. If she/he has reached it, you add a new goal, or you modify it. Kierra has this ability to fulfill them before the IPP actually is written out and given to the parent to sign. For her, we have a speech therapist, occupational therapist, a child psychologist, me, a child-developmental specialist and our team leader.

So after about a month of the new team leader trying to convince me to have it at the main office, across the City, at 8:00 am (no dice lady - it would take me over an hour to drive there in rush-hour traffic), we settled for this morning. I don't actually want to go there. In the past they held the meetings at my house. Apparently they don't have the burning desire to impress me anymore, because they are making me haul my three kids and the CDS there instead. That and I can't find my actual IPP copy at home.

It is getting harder and harder every year to think of reasons why Kierra should still qualify for her therapy funding. For PUF (provincial funding), she just has to have documentation that supports that she has a disability. For FSCD, we have to prove she is severe in two or more areas. We are loosing the occupational therapy battle at this point. All we have left to counter-attack with is speech (which is an obvious deficiency) and her behavioral issues (ie: psychology). I had to think of all the ways that Kierra basically.... sucks (for lack of a better word). Nothing more unsettling than picking apart your child's weak areas.

So anyways, we'll be reviewing everything, seeing how she's progressed since August, and where she hasn't progressed much, write another IPP, and go from there. I'll be sure to post how it turns out. But for now, I need to get ready for the dragrace I call the Deerfoot to get to this appointment. Pray for our souls as we drive down this vortex of evil where the concept of braking is obsolete, as is the speed limit.

THE GREAT MARK-UP

I was on the phone with my good friend Christy when all of a sudden my husband yells in a horrified way that makes mother's think their child is missing a limb from a freak blender accident or decided to drink Draino. Instead I get a horrified, "Help here please!" I go around the corner expecting the worse and what I find is Kierra with red, permanent Sharpie marker drawings all over her face! I must admit, she did a stellar job because she even attempted to make whiskers for herself.

My first reaction is to laugh, (well maybe not my first reaction: my first is to deliver an "upside of the head" smack to my husband who totally freaked me out). So after that initial response, I would choose to laugh - but only until my husband points out she also had taken the liberty of decorating one of my kitchen chairs and the table top. Ok so maybe not so funny now. My third reaction is to grab a baby wipe and try to get this marker off. All this time my friend is still on the phone getting a good laugh at my expense. She has a 18 month old. I nicely remind her that there will be a day HER daughter marks up her face. She referenced that "Friends" episode when Ross writes on Rachel's face with a permanent black marker and she gets back at him the same way.

Anyways, I think for a moment because this baby wipe ain't doing diddly squat. I tried lotion, I tried oil - NADA. I then remember that hairspray will get rid of ink stains from a ballpoint pen, so why not marker? It's a logical assumption. I go and fetch Jarrett's hairspray (I don't really wear any), and we pin her on the floor. Jarrett is fighting off this blonde, red-faced banshee as I scrub her face with hairspray. VOILA! It's successful and after about 15 mintues of defacing her... er um face, she's squeaky clean again. Work of art disappeared! She's not too impressed with us at this point, but honestly who cares? It's either the hairspray or going out in public with red whiskers and everyone pointing and laughing. The table and chair were easily fixed: I did have a Mr. Clean magic eraser handy. MAN THOSE THINGS KICK ASS!! Don't worry - I didn't attempt to use it on my kids face. Not only would I just never do that, but I have a friend who went for a spray tan and it was poorly done.... she used a magic eraser to try to get it off her legs. All she got for her efforts were very badly rashed legs. I mean it DID get it off quite a bit, but I have it on good authority to say the fake tan looked better than her Mr. Clean mangled legs.

You also know I'M the one that got in shit for the marker. My husband says, "Well why was that marker in the drawer?" Say excuse me? WHO was supposed to be watching? And why can't I have a marker in my kitchen drawer (well except for now the obvious answer). After this I can say I did look through all the drawers and pull out anything permanent. No I didn't think to take a picture (I actually thought she'd be sporting her new look for a week). But let this be a lesson to any of you with children: Just because they haven't done it, and you don't think they'd do it - it doesn't mean they won't!

LURKING AND LURCHING

OK I've noticed that I have a few lurkers that frequent this blog quite often. Now is your chance to introduce yourself and make yourself known! C'mon don't be shy. I promise I won't bite you.

In other news, I decided three days ago that I was sick and tired of being lazy, so I decided to hit my home-gym. Down there I have an elliptical machine, a fancy treadmill I convinced my husband I desperately needed, and a Bo-Flex. Not to mention DVD's on pilates, Tae-Bo, aerobics and anything else remotely "trendy at the time". So the first day I decided to jog a bit, and do some pilates. I did so with as much grace as a hippo getting an enema. BUT I did do it! The next day my inner thighs hurt, and not for the right reasons. So the next day, I run again, and I do much better this time... and then I did about 40 minutes of weight training on the Bo-Flex. I eyed up the elliptical machine and figured, eh I'll get to that another day. This morning I can feel the burn in my legs still from those evil pilates, but I hoist myself on the treadmill, turn up the ipod and give it a go for an hour. I ran about 6 km's in that 60 minutes (which is in hindsight a little over 3 miles). Everything hurts, I refused to do pilates, Bo-Flex and gave the elliptical machine the finger. Ah the quest for better glutes I tell ya.

Don't get me wrong - it's for my own good. I need to stop being the winter hermit I am and repeating "once the snow is gone I'll go running". Well let's be realistic, that's not until May really. So what am I really giving myself? Four months of runable outside weather? Not to mention, I can't control the hills on the real terraine but I sure can on the treadmill. My subdivision is in the foothills so is extremely steep in some areas. Last year it took me a good two weeks of straight running to make it up the hill without stopping, clutching my side and crying on some poor sap's lawn. Not to mention, I don't appreciate having doberman's running after my ass because the guy 6 houses down doesn't believe in tying up dogs.

Anyways, I could use all the moral support you can muster. My husband is supportive in the sense he just likes to see me in those little Nike shorts of mine. That perv. Gives me a creative idea on how to get his lazy butt up off the couch though ;)

HEARING HER VOICE

It's so funny - I realized that I haven't written a "Kierra" posting in a while. Mostly my entries have been mind-fluff. I mean don't get me wrong - I enjoy writing them, and I like having a humorous side when I write. Life can't always be serious. But lately I haven't been really "down-to-earth" about things rattling around in my mind. Maybe I've been so busy lately, I haven't really let the quiet sink in and let my mind wander round. Yesterday, however, I was able to hear my mind talking to me as I watching my child playing in the playground.

Me and Jarrett took the girls to the park to play. It was a beautiful day with +10 weather! It was like springtime in February!! Snow melting, freshess in the air that you can't help but open up a window and let that sunshine in. So I sat on a bench. Jarrett was pushing Karis on the swing, and she was screaming shrilly on the top of her lungs, "higher daddy higher!" Jenna found a little girl about her age to play with - the two of them running around with pigtails flying out behind them. In all this I scanned the playscapes for Kierra, who I found trying to slide herself up and down this pole, happiest smile on her face. This is a child whose smile could light up anyone's heart. I smile to myself and watch as the sun dances on her hair, giving her this golden halo. I can hear her humming to herself as she often does. I sometimes wonder if this is her way of singing... or is just like a happy reflex; kind of like when a kitten purs? I know it's a happy sound, because I can see the sheer contentment on her face. So lucky to have this feeling. It's a sensation adults seem to lose as responsibilities grow.

Then she picks something off of the ground and puts it in her mouth. I quickly ran over to her, and told her to spit it out - finding that it was only a rock. But then it hits me: my daughter is almost six years old. She doesn't really talk a whole lot outside of the babyish words she's developed in the last year (each one of which I'm terribly thankful for). She does things that are obviously not age-appropriate. And with each passing year, she commands more stares than she used to. People "knowing" now that there is definately something not quite right about my child. And while she is not an embarrassment to me, it still makes me sad. Because the ability for her to live in a life that is veiled is dwindling quickly. It's not about living in denial about the situation though. It's about protecting someone I love. It worries me that I can't always be there to shield her from ignorance. People stare at her, whisper behind our backs. Sometimes I want to lash out and yell at them - to stop making my little girl a source of their conversation. It hurts me because I already see how children avoid her because she's "strange". Birthday party invitations have come home for Jenna, but not for Kierra. Emails asking Jenna over for playdates but never for Kierra to join in the fun. And in spite of it all, Kierra always has her beautiful smile radiating strong. I think she might be stronger than me - my autistic child. These things that weigh heavy on my heart and mind don't seem to hold her down in the least bit. I envy this in her.

It's funny but someone labeled Kierra as a disabled child not too long ago. I understand this term, and I know Kierra is, in fact, disabled. However I still look at that word and think it doesn't belong to Kierra. I have never looked at her autism as a disablity. It's strange because at first I thought it was because I refused to accept it. But now I understand it for being something entirely different. Although other people may see her with the label "disabled" - I refuse to look at her any different than her sisters. Not because I'm pretending there is no difference (there is definately a difference), but because all three of my children are unique. Kierra's autism doesn't make Jenna or Karis more "normal" to me. They are each special in their own little way. Karis is a cuddly little girl, who commands the stage and loves to joke. Jenna is more serious and thoughtful and loves to learn the answers to everything. Kierra is my soulful girl that has more to say about life than she can physically put out there. All I really want in this life is for the world to hear her voice. And while it may mean dealing with people who are to careless to listen; I will always be there to shout to the world for her as long as she needs me to.

No I don't look at my daughter as someone in this world living with a diability. I look at my daughter as someone in this world living. I can only hope other people will take a moment and see this too.

WELL....... DID SHE OR DIDNT' SHE?

The question burning on your minds (well the less important burning question) is...


DID I GET THE PURSE????




WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Now ask yourself, would your husband go through the trouble of getting the box, but put something else in it as a joke? Sounds pretty mean doesn't it? I mean whose husband would do something so cold-hearted and mean?



Not mine, although he actually entertained the idea. He decided against it just in case his valentine went postal and beat him to death with the box. So I was kinda surprised but not totally obviously. But I was because with Jarrett, you never can tell what he's up to! He made the statement "I'll never understand why you love these so much, but I understand why I love you so much"........ and then some comment about not bringing it into the bed with us. He had to admit, he was totally stoked about giving it to me. He knows how long I've been eyeing these, and how much I wanted one. My last attempt was thwarted (I got screwed over by a seller on Ebay), so now I have the legit.

Can I just say I know some of you probably are with my husband... you just don't GET it. That's okay - no one ever claimed fetishes were about common sense. You have to look at it from my perspective. I am a purse junkie. I am not interested in rehab either... I LOVE PURSES!!! As my husband laments, I have a LOT of purses. It's not on the verge of being unhealthy yet, but yeah, it's a lot of purses. Think about fetishes if you will (not the kinky ones... please keep those to yourself). Some people love shoes, others love jewelry (well so do I)... hell some people collect Fabrigee eggs. Me? Purses! This is like the ultimate purse for me!!

While I drift in my euphoria of Louis Vuitton, tell me... what is your passion for? What are you addicted to? I'm sure there are a few of you out there who share my insane addiction. But I'm interested in those other items that you just can't live without (or can't stay away from oogling).

I hope you all have a fab Valentine's Day!!!!!! Much love and hugs wished to you all!

IT'S HERE!

I know, I know... how sad am I that I'm greatly anticipating Pottery Barn bedding this much? Probably makes you wonder what I'm lacking in other departments in my life. This morning I went to the mailbox to find the little "delivery" flyer telling me my package was here!!! I was a little worried to look to see how much duty I had to pay on it, but it was only $24.00 (I can handle that). I got to the post office, and they gave me this box that resembled something that a suicide bomber would have strapped to him. I mean there was huge gaps in the side of the box, crushed down... tape missing. I instantly though, "Oh great, another purchase from Ebay gone down the shitter". I even went so far as to take pictures of the package exterior before I opened it, in case things had fallen out and I could prove it was because of the shotty packaging.

And you know what? It was actually ALL there and in one piece! I was pretty amazed. Angels sang from the heavens in perfect harmony. I couldn't even wait to get home to see everything. I opened it in the school parking lot while waiting for the twins get be released. My other two friends were just as eager to see it as I was... and we all ooowed and awwwed over the linens like they were made of 18 carat gold or something. This just goes to show you that once you're a mom, things like cute bedding are exciting. I have to admit, it is exceptionally sweet and Karis' room is going to be so pretty!!! Now lies the task of getting everything stripped, painted, put together and tucked in. This will take a month essentially. But hey, at least I have the fitted sheets LOL.

So yesterday I went to a mommy's lunch with three other schoolyard friends. Not friends from my schoolyard days, but rather my twins. We all decided that we should have a lunch together. Three out of four of us had to bring one kid, but actually it was really nice. Considering the other two children were babies ages one month and 6 months respectively. Even Karis was unusually quiet, and just ate and sang the occassional song to a baby. We sat around gossiping and noshing for a good 2 hours, until we realized how long we had actually been sitting there! I have to say it was really nice to just sit and relax and enjoy someone else's company that isn't wearing Hello Kitty all the time. Hopefully we make this a bi-weekly, or at least a monthly thing!

My last story involves my husband who suggested we go look at the Louis Vuitton store at purses. We spent maybe 20 mintues looking through the catalog, asking to see specific handbags and me modeling them for Jarrett. Even the matching wallets were coming out. I half-expected my husband to say "Happy Valentine's Day early - pick which one you like" as did the lady helping us until he said to me, "You know... Valentine's Day is just around the corner". I could've smacked him!!! So am I actually getting the purse? Who the hell knows. Honestly you never know with Jarrett. Why a husband would dangle a coveted purse like that in front of his wife (who considers the LV to be the holy grail of purses) and then not buy it? He has been teasing me since saying the same catch phrase, "... you know Valentine's Day is just around the corner" ever since. Does someone want to hit this man with a rubber hose please?

STALKING THE POSTAL SERVICE

I have issues (well that was pretty apparent wasn't it? I mean really). But even moreso during the last week. Why? Because I'm constantly stalking the tracking number for a parcel through Canada Post. Actually, I first started stalking it through USPS... THEN once it left the States, I started to follow it like a bountyhunter. I know it left Chicago and went to Mississauga, Ontario. C'mon already!!!!!!

What am I waiting for? Well you'll laugh I'm sure (for many reasons), but I'm waiting for a Pottery Barn Kids bedding set for Karis. Want to hear the story behind it? You know you do, otherwise why on earth would you keep coming back here to hear the deranged ramblings I spew out so sporadically?

I have been hounding the hubby to re-do Karis' bedroom for probably a year now. She's four now, and I thought it was time for her to have a "non-baby" room. Right now it's pink, has ballerina teddy-bears... and very baby-ish. Her bed is technically her crib that converted into a daybed. Which really... not too bad because she's short (she can fit a 2T pant for pete's sakes!), but lately she keeps getting her elbow stucks in the railing side at night, which requires me to haul my sleepy ass out of bed to detangle her at 3:00 am. So I harrassed and harrassed (this technique works wonderfully I might add), and we went out to buy her a bed, and mattresses. NOW, this is where I truly get neurotic... my search for the cutest bedding. I have been scoping out this particular set at www.potterybarnkids.com (it's Alyssa's flower garden), and so once I got the bed on order, I set to getting this bedding for her. I get down to everything and then I'm told they won't send it to CANADA!!!! WTF? Why not? My money is just as good. But no. And we only have three Pottery Barn stores in Canada (all three are in Toronto... why does Toronto need three?). And no, they wouldn't order it for me from the States and send it to me.

I was left with little options. I could have it ordered and sent to my sister-in-laws (who I can't stand). No thanks... I'd rather decorate my kid's room with burlap sacks. I look into having a friend purchase and send it, but it would cost WAY too much after double shipping. Then I go on Ebay (I usually try to steer clear), but I find this woman that actually owns a children's linens business and she happens to have this exact bedding, for about $100.00 cheaper than the website pricing. PERFECT!!! So I buy it, she sends it, and now I'm waiting for it.

The reason why I'm being a total spaz is because I've been burnt SO MANY FREAKIN' TIMES on Ebay. I'd refer you to the illustrious case of the Louis Vuitton purse (but I'm not even going there - it still pisses me off) and the counterfit "Beauty and the Beast" DVD's I ordered (I hope I never get a knock on the door by the Fed's). So hopefully this is legit and my faith in Ebay can be restored. Not only that, I have the whole theme of Karis' room mapped out and all the little things I want to do with it to make it "perfect" (a.k.a my sensationalized version of children's rooms that look like the rooms in the magazines). I have a bit of a problem as you can tell - I'm a decorating freak. I love to make things unique and take a lot of time and put a lot of energy into making it EXACTLY how I want it. For instance, I have already bought a wooden stepstool for Karis (she's short remember) and have hand-painted it to match the bedding and the room theme. See - I told you I have problems!!

Anyways, I have to run.... Hopefully it doesn't come down to my mail carrier filing a restraining order from me. I promise once I get the bedding, I'll get normal as I get again.

TOSS ME A LIFE PRESERVER

These children are driving me crazy!!!! February is the month of "make your kids stay home from school and drive you batty" month. Don't ask why, apparently there is a need for professional days (I think they are boozing it up at the local bar). Don't get me wrong... I love my kids. But I'm use to having an afternoon reprieve from their constant yelling, fighting, and continuous harrassment of me. Next week, I have a five day stint with them.... alone. If I'm woried now, just think what happens when school lets out in June!!!!!!!!

The other night I had a massage. It wasn't one of those massages you go to because you just like to have some strange person rubbing oil all over you. I'm actually going for massage therapy. Well I don't know how therapeutic it is to be kneeded like a lump of dough to the point you are gritting your teeth in anguish and you can't even keep you feet from flying up off the massage table. My point of excruitating pain in around my shoulder blade (specifically on the right side). This is what happens when you decide against your better judgement to haul 90 lbs worth of kids up a hill in a sled. Not one of my brighter moments let me tell you. As a result, I've seen my chiropractor twice, and now the massage therapist. At one point I could feel her pushing the knot in my shoulder, which was very creepy. I told her it hurt and she said, "Oh I'm trying to pin it against your shoulder blade." LOVELY!!!!!!!!! One hour later, and $75.00 less richer... I can barely move or lift my right arm. She wanted me to go again next week (she's evil!), but she didn't have an evening appointments (damn), so I go again in two weeks. Same time, same channel... and probably the same unbearable pain. I might have to take some codeine first.

In other news, Kierra got this voice assisting box (essentially she pushes buttons and it makes sentences). It was a trial application, and we were very excited to see it. This morning the speech therapist comes, and the woman who is my case worker brings it..... and we were a little disapointed to say the least. It only does 8 pictures per sheet, and only takes up to three sheets. That is only 24 commands... for a child with well over 500 words in her vocabulary. So basically it's useless. We have to talk to the case worker about finding something more Kierra's speed. There is one that is 40 commands per screen, and holds up to 10 scrrens worth. This might be more in her league. Funny thing is the cruddy one was $800.00!!! Eight hundred for 24 phrases? I can't even imagine what 400 is going to cost me. Normally we would wait to get the evaluation, and then assigned one. I found out we can buy one out-right if choosen. I kinda like the free idea better, but the catch is it's 1 - 1 1/2 years of a wait. Sigh.

We have a date night on Saturday, which I'm really looking forward to. I have no clue what we are doing, but am happy at the prospect of going out for a meal that doesn't involve a kiddie menu and my saying "would you please behave yourself" 10001010 times. I'm also trying to convince my husband to take his Feb EDO off one of the days the girls are staying home from school. We tried to strong-hold my mother into coming to visit by waiving a pre-paid airline ticket in her face... and my husband's pressure tactics of saying "c'mon..... I'm booking it right now" but alas, it didn't work out. Crap!

Well, that's about it from me. You might be happy to know I'm not in a perpetual frozen state anymore... we got a chinook and are happily thawed out for the time. Let's hope it stays that way (although highly unlikely). Cheers!

GOOD PLANS UNREALIZED

For those of you that do not know, this year me and the hubster will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. I know - shocking!!! What's even more shocking is the fact that we are still married. I don't mean this in a mean way like "he's such an asshat", but statisitically speaking, Jarrett and I should have been divorced twice over by now. I'll explain:

Over half of people who undergo infertility end up splitting. It's just one of those sad things where probably one of the people in the couple is having the infertility issue, and the other person can't get over it (ie: a friend of ours couldn't accept never having her own biological children). Instead of drawing each other closer, it can cause a lot of animosity. Lucky for us, we were the ones that supported each other.

Second, over 70% of parents with an autistic child end up divorced. HOLY SMOKES!!! That's pretty bad! I can see it thoug: parents have no time for themselves anymore, the stress of having an autistic child: it's not easy. So far so good with us though.

So here we are - 10 years in and going strong. Got over the "seven year itch" period (LOL), and I think we just may make it. Which brings me to the point of the post. For our 10 year we discussed what gifts we will be bestowing on each other. Jarrett is buying me a three-stone diamond ring and I'm buying him a Rolex watch. Now I've known I'm getting this ring since 9 years ago... lol and the watch he's known about for the past 5 years. So it's not like "surprise guess what I'm getting you". Now for those of you who don't know this.... we have an anniversary sequence of the number 24. We started dating on August 24, got engaged January 24, and got married October 24. And this past January 24 marked the 10 year anniversary of our proposal.

So my husband has been planning the 10 year anniversary for a few years, which involves a kick-ass trip this year plus other surprises I"m not privy to. All I know is, in his words, this year will be "ten months of surprises". OK sounds romantic!!! UNTIL he tells me a few weeks ago, "I had a really good idea of a surprise for you". I say oh what? I'm curious (ok nosey) and so he tells me:

"You know how you know that you are getting the ring for the 10 year? I was going to give it to you on January 24th and re-propose to you."

My jaw drops open, because honestly, this is EXTREMELY romantic and I would have been totally shocked because I wouldn't have expected it. HOWEVER NEVER TELL YOUR WIFE OF THE ROMANTIC IDEA YOU HAD THAT YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH! I mean c'mon guys! Not to mention before he told me this, he took me out to look at actual rings. Not to buy but to check out to get a feel for what I liked. So I got to try on all these sparkly rings (beautiful rings), and then he dangles the prospect in front of me and says "sorry!"

OK before you think I'm completely horrid yes I know I'm still getting it but still... it would've been an awesome story to tell. I mean c'mon admit it!!! He gets partial credit I suppose for the thought. And as he told me "honey it's really the thought that counts".

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA

Drama... need I really say more? It's part of this all-inclusive package we call life. Honestly, some of it is entertaining, while the rest is stress. And usually I do my best to avoid stress; especially as of late because I've been having physical stress reactions (eg: muscle twitching/spasms).

This past week has me twitching like I'm totally impulse-control free.

So story goes: my brother is getting married in August to this girl. She's fairly nice, and I get along with her relatively well. So she asked if one of my daughters would be a flower girl in the wedding. Sure I say. Emails are exchanged about flower girl dresses, nothing too outlandish. Well my sister's daughter is ALSO a flower girl and I get a call from my sister telling me that the flower girl dresses (which are actually mini-maid dresses) are around $300.00!!!! OKAYYYYYYYYYY back that thing up! There is no way in hell I'm buying a dress that is that much. Not to mention the thing is Harvest Gold (barf) and honestly... it's not like my child will ever wear this thing again.

So I send a very nice, poetic letter to the sis-in-law-to-be pointing out that I don't think the dress A) is appropriate for a six year old and B) it's a little pricey. I wait about four days to hear back and nothing. I'm a little surprised as she's usually prompt with her responses. So I call my mom and ask if she's talked to the two of them to which she replies, "Um Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Apparently after I sent the email, my brother calls my mother blasting her about what is my problem and why is she trying to stress us out? Ummmm excuse me? First off why are you calling up mom and crying to her like a bunch of 5 year olds? If you have issues, call me directly you imbeciles. Second, I read the email to my mom, and she agreed that I wasn't confrontagious or anything. And also, that I had a good point.. to which the reply was it's not like we're going to dress our nieces like hookers OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYY, talk about getting a little carried away with one's self. No one mentioned the words "provocative", "sleazy" or "trampy" - I DID say that I thought the dresses were a little too mature for a six year old. I didn't say she would resemble one of those hooker-esque BRATZ dolls (don't get me started about those things...)

So as of now, they still haven't responded to me, and I talked to my sister who is all riled up and hormonal now about the whole thing, and the fact that she's not included in the wedding (same sister who didn't have me or my brother in HER wedding a mere 5 months ago). Again, my family - drama. Then she starts going off on how she doesn't support this wedding, and that the sis-in-law is just a bitch. I know better to feed into this until she says, "you know she criticizes your parenting".

STOP

What?

I can't help it, I bite and she says that sis-in-law-to-be is always ragging on me and the hubby behind our backs. I ask for specifics and I get some... but to be perfectly honest she does the EXACT SAME THING in reverse with me. So it's not exactly far-fetched. So now I'm a little pissed off on top of it all. Pretty rich coming from a 22 year old that doesn't have kids. That's like Kelly Pickler trying to describe quantum physics. I don't like this little revelation, so now I'm feeling particularly bitchy about the whole flower girl dress/tattle-tale fiasco.

However, not to worry. I'm just ignoring it and going on my merry little way. To me it's not worth starting a whole family feud on, and honestly, it's my brother's decision in the end. However I don't think he'll be getting my sister's vote of support.

FROZEN THOUGHTS

I'm freezing off my poor, sad Canadian ass off right now. The reason I haven't posted is for fear my fingers would freeze to the keyboard and I would be forever plagued with a keyboards dangling from my fingertips. That's worst case scenario. Low-middle cased scenario, I would only have the keys "D" and "L" stuck to them... and quite possibly the space bar.

IT IS COLD!!!

It was -29 yesterday (without windchill). You factor in the windchill and you get yourself something in the range of -40ish...... that's cold people! I won't do the conversion for the Yanks because A) I suck at conversions and B) my brain is frozen and I couldn't do a satisfactory job at converting it. It's so cold, when I open my kitchen cabinets that are on the exterior wall, cold air comes shooting out of them. I swear I saw a frozen steak behind the dessert plates. It's so cold, I can't even sit in the back end of the house, only the front because that's where the sun beams are located. I'm like some deranged cat trying to find the sunspot on the living room floor. I'm so cold that I'm wearing my housecoat over my clothing, and yes my furnace is working in case you are wondering. I'm a perpetually cold person, and this doesn't help matters at all. The worst part is my husband is out of town on business, and I don't have any food because I was too lazy to get my ass in gear over the week-end.

They also cancelled school... well kinda. Kierra's aide called in sick (she was probably frozen to the tile on her bathroom floor), and the furnace in the classroom couldn't handle the pressure of doing a half-assed job of not freezing 17 five year olds. Their classrooms is one of those satellite classes - you know what I'm talking about. Those sad little buildings in the back of the actual school? So the principal called to see if I still wanted to bring the girls. In a couple of eloquent words? FUCK NO!! So instead I had marathon long-distance phone calls with my mom, made foam valentine bear bookmarks, and looked up my family lineage on ancestry.com.

However, I couldn't avoid the inevitable. I mean I made this nasty can of chicken and wild rice soup for lunch (barf), and had nothing more than that to offer for dinner. So rationalizing this, I decided to whip over to Wal-mart to pick up some stuff, and they also have a handy little McDonald's there I can throw at my kids. Win/Win situation. I bundle them up, strap them in the van, I open the garage door and I swear if garage doors had feelings, this was the saddest door in the City. It creaked like ice was in between the cracks of it. This whoosh of cold frosty air attacked me like a Stephen King murder fog. I raced around the front of the van, jumped in, and thought to myself "what that hell am I doing?" Too late - we are in the van and I'm not getting out. So I drive off and spy my newspaper sitting on the porch (I wouldn't even open the door to get it). Drive around the corner and see drifts of snow on the sides of the road, each with a car stuck in it. Now I don't understand this you see.

A) Calgary is a well-endowed City yet they never have snowplows go down the side roads of sub-divisions at all. They just plow the main roads (aka anything a bus would go down), and screw the rest of us stuck in the back. So there are cars littering the sides of the road now; owners who gave up after they realized that no a smart car can't plow itself through a 5 foot drift of snow. Enough SUV's and pickups forged a little path which I managed to get my van through as well. I get to Wal-Mart and brief the children of the plan. I sounded like a drill Sargent "ok troops, when I open the door, you must evacuate the van immediately! Do not, I repeat do not open your mouth, breathe through your mouth. You will freeze your lungs and I will have to leave you. Do not run into the pile of snow Wal-mart left in the middle of the parking lot for some unknown reason, so you loose a boot. Any boot lost in the snow pile will remain in the snow pile. We will amputate your frozen foot with a fork in the McDonald's. GO GO GO!"

So I ran my poor children for the coldest two minutes in Canada to the store, yelling at them to stop yelling about how cold it is because they start complaining it's too cold (well der). Immediately blast of warm, happy re-cycled contaminated air in the door openings - thaws my insane body. We take our time shopping (no rush to go back out there!). I get what I need (minus the blowtorch that I'll need to get into the frozen van afterwards), and then we go eat. I can see through the windows that there are other people just like me who don't know any better. People slipping in their running shoes they thought could withstand the icy roads. Fools really. I cue up the command start and decide to put all three kids in the shopping cart. I was shocked the greeters at Wal-mart didn't yell at me to tell me this is not a good plan I have. I don't care - three kids pushed by their mom in a shopping cart go a lot faster than said mom dragging three kids through a parking lot. I ran, my kids squealed in delight. I get to the van and apparently my command start didn't activate (piece of crap), and I throw all the children into the van, telling them to curl up in a ball and let their 20 inch thick parkas cushion their fall. Get everyone strapped in, go to back out... and SOME COMPLETE ASSHOLE decides to park behind me in the row across but not pull in entirely! NO he's half-way in the aisle! I'm thinking "I know it's cold but come on!" So I fiddle back and forth to get the van out of the parking lot. If I was one of those road rage people, I would've just backed my way and smashed his Lincoln Continental ass (must've been an old person's car). Got home - my garage door screamed at me again, and got back in the house.

So there you have it. For those of you who live in this country, you feel and share my pain. For those of you who say "Oh Canada's so pretty, I've always wanted to visit" ... yah don't come until the two months of summer okay?