DEATH BY ONIONS

I am currently under the weather. After another famed Kierra "taco night", Jarrett and I both succumbed to the wretchedness of food poisoning. Before you think "hell I'm never going to her house for dinner", let me get one thing straight. It wasn't my fault! It was the blasted green onions! It is the only logical explanation because the kids ate everything we did EXCEPT for the green onions. They are fine -no explosive diarrhea, no projectile vomiting, no pounding headaches. WE didn't get off so lucky. I started to feel ill half-way through my massage last night. At first I passed it off as nothing, got home around 8:00pm and thought I was going to vomit on the couch. I ate about a truckload of Tums trying to soothe my boiling stomach. My darling husband complained he has "gas", and asked how I felt. I just layed on the couch with my eyes closed. I soon went to bed and found out soon enough Jarrett had it worse than me (he ate more of the onions), as he spent most of the night throwing up in the basement bathroom as to not wake the rest of the family. Unfortunately for him, he didn't quite make it there in time, and spent a good forty minutes cleaning up his mess. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to clean it up for him because I'm not good with puke messes. Case in point: if one of my children is throwing up in the toilet, I'm throwing up in the bathroom sink alongside. This morning so far consists of running to and fro from the bathroom, and feeling like my stomach is eating itself. FUN!!!

I will say yesterday did start off having the potential of being a lovely evening. First off, I managed to get my crafty little hands on a Nintendo Wii system quite by accident. I've been looking for one for the hubster for months, but to no avail. They are hard suckers to get a hold of (unless you want to be completely ripped off on Ebay). I was in Wal-Mart Monday afternoon and all of a sudden, like a voice from the Heavens, an announcement was made that a shipment of Wii's just came in, and it was first come, first serve! I grabbed Karis' hand and dragged her to the electronics - dodging between other frantic mother's with small children, who were bounding down the aisle like gazelles. I managed to be third in line. The patrons were mostly women - all looking to buy this system for their A) son, B) husband or C) significant other. We all laughed how crazy it was that we were so insane about buying one - yet none of us would give up her spot. If the fire alarm had gone off, most of us probably would have sat there with our hair on fire, waiting with our Visas. It didn't matter if babies were crying or a child lost his shoe back in the Hallmark card section. All that mattered was receiving the coveted game system. They just took them straight out of the crate, and put them in bags for purchase. $285.00 later - I was the proud owner of a Wii (this is such a sad statement .... really it is).

The funniest part was going through the store afterwards since I had shopping to do still (and had to find my discarded cart from before) - was the men in the store that weren't fortunate to get in the line before they all sold out in about ten minutes flat!!! They could see the black letters "w i i " through the bag, and were longingly looking at the bag. It was almost dirty in a way. I felt like Indiana Jones or something - ready for this tribe of crazed husbands to take me out for my bag. People asked if there were anymore - I shock my head and considered trying to make a buck off this Wii. I mean surely I could make at least $100.00 in 10 minutes time? However, I re-thought it, because I really wanted to surprise Jarrett. This would be the one thing he'd never expect.

When I gave it to him last night, he laughed... he almost picked up an XBox 360 on the way home for work!!! He wanted Guitar Hero III but you can only get it around here for the PC or XBox. He resigned to the fact it's either the XBox or nothing. Since his huge Guitar Hero blister (I mean boys night) - he has been absolutely insistent that we get this. Don't think I didn't try to get Guitar Hero. I went canvassing the local stores but I was laughed at by numerous salespeople. I was told unless I was standing at the door when they opened, on the day the shipment came in - good luck! REALLY? Are people this crazed? (says the woman who just ran through Wal-Mart like a psychiatric patient). Jarrett had a huge smile and probably looked the way I looked when he gave me that Louis Vuitton purse. His smile quickly became loud cussing, as he spent the better part of two hours trying to figure out why it wasn't hooking up properly. I suggested having a receiver, a switch box, stereo system, ipod docking station, and DVD player hooked up already could make it a trickier issue than he originally thought. I actually went to bed at 10:00 (already feeling nauseous), and he woke me up around 11:00 to brightly declare "I got it hooked up!" He actually made me get out of bed, so I could watch him play the Simpson's Game. This didn't do wonders for my stomach though, since I already feel like blowing chunks. However, we did go online to Ebay and bought a new Wii Guitar Hero III bundle with the second guitar for $235.00. So in less than 24 hours, I spent $520.00 on my husband.

I try not to think of the starving children in Africa.

I also try not to think about tacos.