Monday, October 29, 2007


Such an adequately entitled post - you'll see why in a moment.

First of all, Week One of project "rid child of all dairy/casein" has been completed. I actually did pretty well - there was no incidence of sneaky cheese, covert-op milk or surprise attack whey. And for the most part, I didn't get much of a fuss from Kierra. Then again, she hasn't drank milk since I took her bottles away, and she doesn't like cheese unless it's melted. It really never was the casein part that worried me (although it's surprisingly in a lot of stuff), it's more the gluten/wheat. Which brings me to the next topic...

I decided to search the web for a GFCF (gluten free/casein free) cookie recipe. I found one in bloggerland actually, from a mom that is also doing the same diet for her child. I went to the whole foods store, stocked up on all the stuff I needed.... came home and disaster struck!! Now I don't know what to tell you. Yes I do - that person is on crack if she thinks THAT is a good recipe!! I mean it was bad enough the dough had the texture of chewing gum... and it was worse when the girls started to giggle gleefully when the cookies started to "boil" on the baking pan. I'm not exaggerating people - those "cookies" were bubbling. I took them out of the oven and it looked like a gremlin exploaded on my Farberware. The smell probably wasn't all that better. Of course I took pictures because:

ok a picture because honestly

A) who would believe me and B) It's almost Halloween and I thought it was scary as hell those cookies. To add insult to injury, Jarrett backed into a wall with the car, trying to avoid another guy who was backing into him. In short, car messed up and we pay 100% for the damages. Jenna summed it up well at the end of the day:

"Mommy.... your cookies were just horrible and daddy crashed our car. This isn't a good day for our family."

Amen kid.

And before you start to wonder why I entitled the post "a pirate's life for me".... as my husband was crashing my car, I took Kierra out for a mommy-daughter outing to Michael's Crafts, so I could get little orange boxes for the hand-made treats for the Kindergarten class. No I don't give out candy like normal people. I buy orange "Chinese take-out" boxes, make foam Halloween finger puppets that have each kids' name on it, plus stuff in candy and stickers, and then seal them shut with candy corn stickers and top off with a "pumpkin patch" ribbon. Yes I am strange, and yes I realize the bag of Wal-mart candy was the cheaper way to go. But in the clearance isle (because you know, Halloween isn't over but make way for Christmas!), Kierra found a delightful pirate foam hat. Huge and tacky - and of course she loved it. She smiled her big smile at me, and of course I caved (it was $2.00 too). She was so excited at the register, she was jumping and squealing in her special way... which drew the attention of all the nearby customers. I could tell people were staring at her, and not in an endearing way. More of a "what's wrong with that kid" way. I actually was going to hold her hand to stop her skipping around and tell her to hush and then thought WHY??????????? What do we have to be embarrassed about? So instead I smiled into her happy face and announced loud enough for all to hear, "You know what Kierra? Mommy is happy it's the pirate's life for her!" That turned all heads back around and eyes facing shoes.

I may make horrible cookies, I may have in-home therapy for my child every week day, and I may even have to chase her around the playground in sub-zero weather because she won't wear her jacket... but me hearty's it is a good life.


Anonymous said...

That is one sad pan of cookies! I hope you find a much better, actually successful recipe very soon. Really sucky about the car too. Definitely not a good day.

The pirate hat is adorable, and she looks totally thrilled with it. Isn't it nice when $2 can do that? :o)

Anonymous said...

Love the pirate hat. Too cute. But those poor cookies, awwww lle, they are just so sad. :-)

Noemi said...

She looks adorable with the Pirate Hat. And yes the blogger who said those cookies were good is definetly on CRACK! They look horrible! LOL

Anonymous said...

Good morning Elle! My newest contest is up and open to anyone with a blog. So bring yourself on over and enter.

M said...

Those cookies? Just horrific.

The story about the pirate hat and your reaction in the store? Tearworthy for me. What a beautiful moment. Good for you. And good for her.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Yuck! Those cookies are scary.

Anonymous said...

Hey woman, glad you entered. Sorry about the graphic thingy, it was my own fault. I had all graphics on the site "locked down" to prevent theft, lol.

I temp disabled that so you can grab the graphic now. So sorry, my goof!

I will add a voting poll in the next day or so.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I almost forgot, you have to tell me in MY comments WHY you want or think you need a blog makeover, lol.

Slick said...

I'm not sure even I would eat those cookies :p

Sorry about the car! Sucks...

Anonymous said...

Hope you had a great Halloween Elle.

tulipmom said...

Ok, I'd probably be willing to try one but that's only because I haven't had a cookie in so damn long! They definitely don't win any awards for looks.

Kiera looks adorable in that pirate hat!

And for the record, the whole going overboard with the goody bags (or boxes) .... yeah, that's me to a T. I can't help myself.

GFCF Mommy said...

I just discovered your blog and your girls are such cuties! I hope I am not the blogger mom whose cookies you tried, but if I was--hey I'll share my stash! LOL!

But I might have a suggestion. Were those cookies chocolate chip in disguise? I recommend using a GFCF mix at first, like Gluten-Free Pantry. They are stingy on the chips but you can get some GFCF chips, we like the Tropical Source brand and mix in extra chips.

Also, it helps if you roll the dough in wax paper and chill it for a few hours before you slice and bake. This is generally true of all GFCF cookie recipes.

But they neglect to tell you that on the box!

Trying to blend a bunch of flours is hard and takes practice. I take the pragmatic approach of mixes, since cookies and cakes are a special occasion kind of thing.

Hang in there with the GFCF stuff. Your daughter sounds like a great candidate.


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