A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME

Such an adequately entitled post - you'll see why in a moment.

First of all, Week One of project "rid child of all dairy/casein" has been completed. I actually did pretty well - there was no incidence of sneaky cheese, covert-op milk or surprise attack whey. And for the most part, I didn't get much of a fuss from Kierra. Then again, she hasn't drank milk since I took her bottles away, and she doesn't like cheese unless it's melted. It really never was the casein part that worried me (although it's surprisingly in a lot of stuff), it's more the gluten/wheat. Which brings me to the next topic...

I decided to search the web for a GFCF (gluten free/casein free) cookie recipe. I found one in bloggerland actually, from a mom that is also doing the same diet for her child. I went to the whole foods store, stocked up on all the stuff I needed.... came home and disaster struck!! Now I don't know what to tell you. Yes I do - that person is on crack if she thinks THAT is a good recipe!! I mean it was bad enough the dough had the texture of chewing gum... and it was worse when the girls started to giggle gleefully when the cookies started to "boil" on the baking pan. I'm not exaggerating people - those "cookies" were bubbling. I took them out of the oven and it looked like a gremlin exploaded on my Farberware. The smell probably wasn't all that better. Of course I took pictures because:

ok a picture because honestly

A) who would believe me and B) It's almost Halloween and I thought it was scary as hell those cookies. To add insult to injury, Jarrett backed into a wall with the car, trying to avoid another guy who was backing into him. In short, car messed up and we pay 100% for the damages. Jenna summed it up well at the end of the day:

"Mommy.... your cookies were just horrible and daddy crashed our car. This isn't a good day for our family."

Amen kid.

And before you start to wonder why I entitled the post "a pirate's life for me".... as my husband was crashing my car, I took Kierra out for a mommy-daughter outing to Michael's Crafts, so I could get little orange boxes for the hand-made treats for the Kindergarten class. No I don't give out candy like normal people. I buy orange "Chinese take-out" boxes, make foam Halloween finger puppets that have each kids' name on it, plus stuff in candy and stickers, and then seal them shut with candy corn stickers and top off with a "pumpkin patch" ribbon. Yes I am strange, and yes I realize the bag of Wal-mart candy was the cheaper way to go. But in the clearance isle (because you know, Halloween isn't over but make way for Christmas!), Kierra found a delightful pirate foam hat. Huge and tacky - and of course she loved it. She smiled her big smile at me, and of course I caved (it was $2.00 too). She was so excited at the register, she was jumping and squealing in her special way... which drew the attention of all the nearby customers. I could tell people were staring at her, and not in an endearing way. More of a "what's wrong with that kid" way. I actually was going to hold her hand to stop her skipping around and tell her to hush and then thought WHY??????????? What do we have to be embarrassed about? So instead I smiled into her happy face and announced loud enough for all to hear, "You know what Kierra? Mommy is happy it's the pirate's life for her!" That turned all heads back around and eyes facing shoes.

I may make horrible cookies, I may have in-home therapy for my child every week day, and I may even have to chase her around the playground in sub-zero weather because she won't wear her jacket... but me hearty's it is a good life.