Wednesday, July 11, 2007

SERIES OF RATHER UNBALANCED AND UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

The scales of my sanity are tipping back and forth erratically right now. I'm actually a Libra. This means balance. I'm imbalanced... but you probably gathered that a while ago. Here are some instances of my life and it's tipping scales.

On one hand, I had a WONDERFUL hot stone massage for an hour last night, courtesy of my lovely, dashing, and debonair husband Jarrett. It was great and relaxing. Then later than night, I got a severe Charley horse in my left calf muscle, and screamed like a man getting a vasectomy. Ironically Jarrett had the exact same thing happen two hours before. He didn't scream like I did. He stood up, did the dance of pain on the carpet before telling me what he was doing. I thought he was doing a rain dance. We could use the precipitation.

I woke up to birds chirping happily this morning, sat up glad to be alive and well rested (minus the pain in my leg still)and realized my period started this morning. Mad dash like Olympic runner on steroids to the bathroom. Thank the Heavens I gave it some thought the night before. These are new jammie bottoms. I bought them especially for Janis (lol kidding Jan). Content to mash Midol pills into my maple sugar oatmeal this morning. The sublime crunch of ibuprofen and whatever else makes those so wonderfully relieving. AHHHHHH that's good PMS fighting plus wonderful for your cholesterol. When I'm in menopause, I'll just switch the Midol to my HRT pills.

Leaving for my trip in two days which I'm estactic about... only to realize I should have washed some clothes by now that I actually WANTED to wear on my trip. I will not wear Jarrett's polo shirt or a pair of My Little Pony panties, size 3T. Sense my guilt of leaving the kids and Jarrett is overly compensating for washing of all clothes that are not mine. Running out of lavender scented Tide. Will use reserves of the non-nice smelling stuff on my own laundry.

Treated myself to a French Manicure last night. Took the time to make sure the tips were done nicely, dried long enough, did the top coat, filed them. Then realized after should've painted my toe nails first. Using nail polish remover to clean off toes from last pedicure results in removal of new French manicure. Swear to self, drink some wine. Start again.

And last but not least, my neighbor is finishing her landscaping at the expense of my front yard and my fence. At first it was the removal of my fence post and then a panel of my fence. Then 6 inches of front yard dug down and missing. Yard looks like excavation for a new Donald Trump high rise. They didn't re-set my post deep enough and my gate doesn't close properly. Asked for a ride to the airport as a return of favor to molesting my yard with a backhoe. Informed she wants to go to the gym instead, sorry. I'll remember that the next time someone wants to dig for leprechauns or whatever in my yard.

Anyways, that is my day thus far! Hope you are having a more balanced day than me!

11 comments:

MamaLee said...

This day WILL get better.

Of course, it'll take mushed up midol, some wine, some chocolate and a pool boy, but it WILL happen!

XOXOXO

Janis said...

I had to laugh at the nail polish remover on the nails..omg I have SOOO done that!@! doesn't it just PISS you?? ugh...

the midol in the oatmeal does sound like a good idea. Have to try that next cycle!

hehe..thank god it's not NOW...muhahahahahaaaa

Slick said...

I'm never balanced and unfortunately, it's not because of any events.

Your husband gave you a massage? I'm turning him in.

JessNickKatieRyanEmily said...

LOL at the nail polish to funny you know I never gave enough thought to not do it that way!!
dh gave you a massage? Ohhh did he get dropped on his head?
LMFAO sorry I had to fit that in here somewhere!!
There seems like there is NEVER a dull moment at your house!
Can I move in?





Please?

~JJ! said...

Hardly....yours sounds quite nice...

Erin said...

LMFAO
You are soooooo funny!!
You are gonna have so much fun on your trip, go wash some clothes :)

Elle said...

Oppps I need to clarify.... he didn't GIVE me the massage. He paid the massage therapist to give me the massage. It was my twice-rescheduled massage from mother's day. LOL.

mcewen said...

Poor you! I fully sympathise with the moving fence / boundary lines - we had precisely that same nightmare ourselves.
Hopefully peace will reign again shortly.
Cheers

Maria said...

I have always wanted to have a hot stone massage. Are they really that wonderful?

It has been a long time since I worried about new jammie bottoms. I now worry about hot flashes and sweating through my sheets. Womanhood could never be survived by men....

Em said...

Wow, that really was a lot of ups and downs in one short period of time. But telling the whole story with such a sense of humor lets us know you got through it all without too much mental damage. LOL

Pendullum said...

Sometimes Midol are like M&M's...