Thursday, July 19, 2007


I have a teen living in my house. No, some long-lost child from my past didn't resurface. I'd think I'd remember THAT! I have my 14 year old nephew staying with us for a few days. I thought it would be nice - seeing as we don't see him very often. He was only 8 months old when I started to date Jarrett. It's crazy to see him so big and with a deeper (albeit cracking) voice.

So the one thing I didn't anticipate on? Teenage boys are strange. I mean he barely talks. I don't know what to say to him, and I certainly don't know what to do with him. He just says "Yeah ok" or "that's fine". Sheesh kid would you talk or something??????? Jarrett informs me all teen boys are this way and to thankful he's not a girl. Ha ha - oh wait he has a point.

Another thing I didn't anticipate was how much they eat. Holy crap!!! I bought a rack of ribs only to find out he can polish off an entire rack on his own. Dang!! This kid is going to eat me into the poor house in a matter of days. I feel like I'm National Geographic or something. Today we will be watching the life cycle of the elusive teenage boy of the Serengeti. All I need in the background is some guys with gourds hanging from their packages and chicks with a stack of rings around their necks. Taking him to the Mall was an experience. He just mumbled, shuffled around. I'm wondering if he's in some sort of catatonic state that allows him to walk among us. Tried to add caffeine to him - that didn't do much.

Sadly enough, I know this isn't a taste of things to come for me. We have GIRLS only. Girls aren't like this. Teenage girls aren't quiet. They are loud, obnoxious, rude, hormonal and crazy. I will not have quiet moments. I will have "Please daddy can I have money" and "mom I hate you!" moments instead. I will have a lot of Tampax and Midol in my house. I will have tractor trailers pulling up to the front door stocked with them every month. My husband will invert into himself, inundated with estrogen and fearing for his life. Fearing his Visa will fall into the wrong hands. I'm sure every night, we will hold silent vigils in our bedroom, praying for their 18th birthdays to come, that we survive, and that they graciously take the sets of matching luggage we bestow upon them and leave our home.

Until then, I'll enjoy my sweet girls while I can. And until then, I will try to understand the brewding young man sleeping in my guest room. And go buy another $300.00 worth of groceries.


MamaLee said...

Reminds me of growing up with my 2 older brothers. Hopefully this odd time goes by fast, and that your VISA survives!

Cuz I certainly cant help ya, with my debit card not working in Canada, as you

Catwoman said...

Hysterical!!!! I don't know which sex is worse during the teenage years, I just think we should ship them off for five years and not deal with any of it. Are you in?

Noemi said...

Groceries HA! They do not last, with one teenage boy and two younger boys at home I can tell you that we spend over 600 $$$ a month... And that does not include dinner outside the house!

Jenny said...

My hubby's nephew is the same way, though he doesn't come over anymore since all the in-law crap went down. Teenage boys are strange characters. And even at 11, my son ate 2 plates of spaghetti and then asked if he could eat the leftover chicken in the refrigerator. Good God!

Scattered Mom said...

Having had a variety of teenaged foster kids (all boys) in my home over the course of 10 years, I learned a few things.

1. Don't take their silence personally. They are just checking your out and are nervous themselves. He will eventually come out of his shell.

2. Video games and/or movies (they choose) loosens them up a bit.

3. You will be utterly astounded at the amount of food they put away. At one time we had 4 boys, and I cooked recipes that said "16 servings", and we had NO LEFTOVERS. No joke. $1500 a month for groceries. To make it a little less painful, I baked a lot of cookies and muffins, and had a lot of fruit around for snacks.

Having said all that, I loved having teen boys around. They are a lot of fun.

Vee said...

I couldn't help but laugh when you were describing your nephew because that is my son when he visits anyone. He always gives short answers and appears to be interested in the everything else but conversation. Ohhh but give him a game controller or a tv remote to view sports and you won't be able to shut the teenager up. LMAO I also understand how the whole eating things goes...they have a bottomless pit for a stomach.

Hope he comes out of his shell soon. :)

littlemama said...

So funny! I have 2 boys and have NO idea what to expect -- thanks for the insight.
My teenage twin cousins eat like maniacs (they're string beans) so I think I should start saving up now -- so much for a vacation, new furniture, etc.

tulipmom said...

I've heard this about teenage boy's eating habits. It's hard to imagine my little bird of an eater having a huge appetite... sounds good to me now but I can see how it could get very expensive very fast.

~JJ! said...

Oooohhh...Don't boys have cooties or something...Or his he too old for that now????

Boys scare me..Always have.

Dawnelle said...

". I will have a lot of Tampax and Midol in my house. I will have tractor trailers pulling up to the front door stocked with them every month."

That made me laugh outloud! Funny post. Found you through momblogs. Where in Canada are you? I lived in Ontario for 3 years. :)

Tuesday Girl said...

My seven and two year old nephews eat SO much. I told my sister she is in for it when they hit puberty!

Slick said...

Girls are overrated anyhow. Who doesn't like silence??

Rejoice in that young man's quiet disposition!

Or hell, let me borrow him so he can set a good example for my kids!

Twisted Cinderella said...

too funny! I do NOT look forward to Princess's upcoming hormone years (also known as the teenage years)

Laura said...

Mine is 13 (and Aspergers so talking is optional anyway...hehe) and can easily eat me under the table!! He's been like that for about 2 years so I dread to think what will happen when the others join in. I may have to go back to work at this rate.

Really enjoying reading your blog, how refreshing to find someone who doesn't blame vaccines for autism. My hubby is from Cowtown and two of our kiddos were born there.

Hope you're having a great summer.