PARENTING 101

It's so funny when you meet "new" parents. They seem so self-assured that they have a handle on things. They politely turn down years of parenting advice because they, in fact, have their own parenting ideologies by which they live by. And nothing is funnier than watching a new parent realize they don't have all the answers after all.

This week-end, we went to a birthday party for our neighbors child. We are all good friends, so we all came bearing gifts. The girls all decked out as princesses (as this was the dress code). One of our mutual friends (and one of J's poker buddies) came with their six month old daughter. I haven't seen her since she was a newborn and she was such a sweetie pie. Of course we all came out with our horror stories about when our own kids were babies. Funny things they did, embarrassing instances where we were in public and they threw up on us.

As we started to discussion introducing solids, the mother took a red bell pepper from the vegetable tray and let he baby gum it. Since she didn't have any teeth, she figured it was reasonable to do so. I kind of looked at my other friend with a "what the hell is she doing" look, since they just finished saying they introduced rice cereal the same week. Figuring I'm not about to interject, she goes on to say that the baby really seems to enjoy the pepper. All I'm thinking is for a tiny little tummy, perhaps a gassy old pepper isn't the best thing to give her. That and what if she got a piece of it off. The mother assures us that since she doesn't have any teeth, this can't happen (see where this is going yet?).

So she hands the baby off to the daddy, who continues to let her suck on this pepper. All of a sudden, I catch a flash of red chunk in her mouth and yell, "She's got a piece off in her mouth!" and proceed to push her forward and sweep her mouth. By this time, the mom is frantic and the dad looks like he's in shock. They get the piece out (as big as a dime) and the baby starts to cry. No doubt because she was a little taken aback by these adults assaulting her over a piece of red bell pepper. However, she quickly calms down - no harm, no foul. You can tell she's rather embarrassed though. After all her expert proclaiming and such. All the veteran parents just eye each other with the "you'd think they'd listen" expression and say nothing, only offering comfort to the newbies who's six month old almost choked on a piece of veggie.

After about five minutes, we were all over the incident and talking amongst ourselves, when the father, still holding the baby, offers the baby the red pepper again! At this point I'm thinking, "Are you total void of intelligence here?" and finally say, "Do you really think that's a good idea seeing she just had a close call?" He blushes and puts the pepper away. You know of course, after they left, we all talked about how amateur they really are.

But that gets you to thinking... or at least me anyways. Was I like that when I first had my kids? I don't think I was, but then again... For me, I was so overwhelming with having the twins, I was happy to accept any tidbits of help I could possibly get. I also learned quickly that all my preconceived notions of how I would parent were idiotic and coming from the brain of someone who never had a child. It's so funny though - how some of us refuse to budge from those mindsets even after they are in the game already. Perhaps to admit they were wrong is a lot worse than to be made an example of in public. In any case, I was happy the baby was fine. However, I highly doubt they learned that they didn't have all the answers. They just learned not to give a baby a pepper to munch on.