Wednesday, February 21, 2007

NOTHING TO FEAR - BUT FEAR ITSELF



I had to laugh at this. I was cruising around on Yahoo and came across this article about the top 15 things that men fear. I know probably 3 of those things off hand: commitment, unwanted pregnancies and vascetomies. OK I just added that to make a grand total of 18 things men fear. But anyways, I thought I would share them with you.

#15 Hair in the drain. Apparently the fear of male-pattern (or maybe un-baldness) is a big one. I think dh worries about it; but I told him no worries. He said nope; they are making great headway in plugs these days. He's still not folically challenged though (knocks on wood).

#14 Getting caught noticing another woman. Ha Ha Ha!!! Do men really think we don't notice them checking out the rack on the girl half our age? C'mon guys - get real. Ok I'll admit, we do it to. I'd be a big-ass liar if I said we didn't. The only difference is we are much less obvious.

#13 Rejection. Relationships, business, sports - it doesn't matter. I think this has to do with the alpha-male thing. They all want to be number one. Helps them feel manly and spray their pheramone around and impress the ladies and all.

#12 Super Nanny. Hell this woman scares me too; not to mention all the children in Western civilization. No one wants to hear how much they suck at parenting. However, I have adopted her "naughty matt" and it works wonders! But have you seen some of those parents? Lordy, a chimpanzee could be better parents.

#11 Speedos. OK if you guys fear them, why do you wear them? And it's not just the hot guys that actually look good in the Speedo that wear 'em. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you got your 80 year old man with a shriveled package, strutting around in it!! You don't appreciate a 300 lb woman in a bikini? Our sentiments exactly for you guys! I boycott the Speedo (spits).

#10 His dad's death. OK I can't poke fun at this one. I have a hard enough time wrapping my head around the inevitable death of my own father. I can't imagine how it will be the day hubby's dad passes. I guess when you think of your biggest hero on the earth, it's a hard thing to admit that he is only human (even though he's always been immortal to you).

#9 Her tears. Ha Ha Ha! The only reason you fear it is because you know you did something ultra-crappy and now are going to have to make up for it for days on end!!! I know my husband HATES to see me cry. I don't use it as emotional blackmail though. I mean some women cry to get what they want... I have more scrupples. I have other ways to make him do what I want (no withholding sex isn't one of them!)

#8 Being a lousy lover. Guess what? We fear you being lousy too. LOL just kidding; but really women are just self-conscious about it. Guys got to realize that insecurities only inhibit them. So relax, get your groove on and I'm sure you'll be fine. And if not, we'll give you a few hints (no worries).

#7 Not being a god to his kids. So true. Especially my husband: he has three daddy's girls!! I couldn't think of a better role model for them.

#6 Living paycheck to paycheck. Again, we fear this too. Nothing better than financial security. No one wants to claim bankruptcy. We certainly don't want to be dragged down with you when you claim bankruptcy. I think the biggest lesson anyone could learn is how to live within your means. It's simply a case of what you "need" and what you "want".

#5 Beautiful women. I've heard from countless drop-dead gorgeous ladies that men never approach them. They are too intimidating. Women feel intimidated by hot guys too you know. Exept we don't get into car accidents staring at your boobs as we drive by LOL. I guess the phrase, "It's hard being beautiful" is true.

#4 Getting naked. OK my major hang-up when I started to date my hubby. It's hard to "bare it all" because then you are showing your partner you may not be as perfect as they might think you are. It's nice to know men feel the same way. So I guess we should just all get over it and get naked! A little pudge here, a little sag there - it's all good.

#3 Tofurky. This just isn't right. I mean seriously; don't pass it off as turkey when it's clearly not. It's a slap in the comb to all those poor turkey's getting their heads chopped off at Thanksgiving.

#2 Not seeing his kids grow up. That's every parents worst nightmare. I know it's one of mine. No one ever wants to out-live their children; but no one ever wants to go before they are finished watching them grow up.

# 1 Public humiliation. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no one likes this!! Everyone has heard the story of the girl going to prom in a white dress and her period comes early? No that didn't happen to me, but let's face it... life is full of embarrasing moments that scar us. I can think of a few; the rest I think my trauma has blocked from my mind.

So there you have it: 15 things men fear. So what do you fear the most?

4 comments:

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

That's funny.

I thought they'd fear buying maxi pads in CVS or PMS.

I know that's what my hubs fears.

Em said...

That's a pretty funny list. And I'll admit, a few of those make me want to hide under the blanket! But not all. Hair in the drain is gross, but not scary.

Maria said...

great blog....

Let's see...I fear losing my health more than anything. I never had this fear until I had a child.

Tuesday Girl said...

My husband fears hair in the drain. My hair not his. He freaks out if he sees one long hair on the bathroom floor or on his pillow.