WANT YOU TO WANT ME?

How many of you are guilty of buying US Weekly, People or any of those weekly magazines devoted to celebrity life? C'mon don't be shy. OK so if you don't buy the magazines, how many of you will click on the "celeb news" on MSN or Yahoo and read all the gossip? I raise my hand, and wave it defiantly at everyone. I have no life and must live vacariously through people who are overpaid, over-rated and over-exposed. OK OK, looking at it through a sociological perspective; it's a perfect example of the Conflict Theory: the have's vs. the have-nots. We always want to compare our lives to those who seem to exemplify the "good life." Personally, I think it puts things in perspective. Who really is the "have-not" here? The hard working people who drive reasonable cars, eat at Wendy's and like to watch LOST every Wednesday? Or the people who are so screwed up that every mistake they make is splashed up on the covers of magazines all over the country with the most unflattering pictures of themselves they could think of?

Wonder where I am going with this? Here it is: I honestly don't think being a celebrity is all that it is cracked up to be. Some of them are just so overly talked about; even they must be sick of themselves! You know what I'm talking about: you can't go ANYWHERE without seeing their names in print, or seeing them on ET or Extra. We kinda hate them, yet we are still completely fascinated with their lives. So here is my list of people I could deal without hearing about for a LONG time.

#1: Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie: Ok seriously people who cares? It's been over a year; let's move on from it. I mean this isn't the first time a guy cheated on his wife with someone hotter. If I have to read one more time about those two saving another poor orphan child I'm going to scream. I mean are they really spectacular people that are better than everyone else? I know people who adopt; and they aren't given the "Humanitarian of the Year" award. Give it a rest already!! And all the boo-hoo's that Jen is crying over those two. First off, if she is, she needs to get some therapy because she's better off without him. Second, you don't want him anyways if he was that willing to throw away your marriage. ENOUGH!! No more pictures of that Maddox kid with the crazy hair or the "blob" baby Angelina so lovingly referred to as her daughter. Stop the insanity!!!

#2: Paris Hilton: SHE'S SO SICKENING! She's not talented, she's not even that pretty for God's sakes!! She's always doing that same generic pose of hers. I mean no one stands with their ankles crossed unless they really have to pee or something. And with all her millions, I mean seriously spring for the nose job already!! That schnooze must dip into her Starbucks. No more "Simple Life" please; no one cares that you treat people like crap and have no appreciation for people that actually work for their money. She needs to take her 3 lb dog, ferrett or whatever else she has that is furry, along with her fake ass hair extensions and get lost already. Honestly, I've never heard of anyone so useless getting paid so much!

#3: Nicole Richie aka "I don't have an eatting disorder": OK girl, who are you trying to kid? I'm so sick of everyone going on and on about how worried they are about her. Give her a Big Mac already - the girl can't survive on tic-tacs!!! I don't understand how someone who must idolize Mary-Kate Olson thinks she's ok? Before it was how much her and Paris Hilton hated one another... and now they are BFF again. Personally I liked it better when they hated each other... nothing good can come out of pairing up these two doofuses together. Between the car accidents they create, and the tacky catch-phrases them try to stuff into pop-culture... do us a favor and let your 5 mintues of fame fade gracefully.

#4: Tom Cruise: Enough said!!!

#5: Britney Spears: I kinda feel sorry for her. I mean putting Fed-Ex aside; this girl is a mess. It seemed she almost had things together after she dumped her bum of a husband, but lately YEESH!!!! Who saw those pictures of her... um neather-regions? I did and I'm telling you NOT pretty!! Who doesn't wear panties when you are being photographed 24-7??? Plus hanging out with #2 on the list? Man this girl needs an intervention. It's like watching a plane falling from the sky and there is nothing you can do about it. Speaking as a mother I can't imagine raising kids and being that messed up. I think all those years of wearing too-tight trucker hats has gotten to her. The girl SHAVED HER HEAD BALD!!!! On the one side, at least we don't have to see her hair color of the week... I mean that hair was more a nest for endangered condors than anything else. Then she checks into rehab... for a whole 2 hours. They need to seriously get that girl some help. SOS - save Britney!

#6: Jessica Simpson: What the hell is she doing to her face? I mean her sister gets a nose job, and all of a sudden Jess is starting to look like Michael Jackson! I don't know how many of you saw her MTV show with her now ex; but that girl mostly has her looks to work with. She's not rocket scientist material that's for sure. For someone in her 20's, seems she's kinda getting a little neurotic with the fixer uppers. Hell I'm 31 and I don't need Botox yet; and that's with 3 children! Note to Jessica: girl stop messing with your face or you're going to be Joan Rivers long lost twin. She should invest her money in more worthwhile things... like adding Louis Vuitton purse 450 to her collection (OK I'm jealous because we all know I'm a purse fanatic). And trading down Nick Lachey for John Mayer? EW EW EW. Too much peroxide people - it can be a dangerous thing to brain cells.

Ok I think I'm done ragging on the celebs. I guess it just goes to show that the grass is not always greener on the other side. People are just people, and still have real world problems. I guess it's just more of an interesting read when you make a bazillion dollars. So who is on your list?