YOU'RE INVITED... BUT YOUR TWIN CAN'T COME

Not very often am I at a loss for words. Ask anyone that knows me well (aka MamaLee - she'll verify this in a second)... that when it comes to rants, discussions or anything vocal - I'm in my ultimate element. However, right now I'm truly stumped as to how to handle a certain situation.

For those of you that are not familiar, I have fraternal twin girls, one that is autistic. Both of them are attending a junior kindergarten program at a specialized school. It's an intergrative program that allows typical children to mix with the disabled children; which I think is great! So for JK I wanted them both in the same class; to help them with their communication (Kierra lost pre-acquired speech and is just recently starting to talk again). There are other children in their class that are typical. Most of them are autistic though; so there are 3 other typical little girls that are good friends with my daughter Jenna. I'm told that Kierra prefers to seek out the same girls to play with in class as well.

Well the other day, Jenna brings home a birthday party invitation. She's waving it wildly at me and tells me "M" is having a party!! She's so excited because this is her very first party that is not neighbor or relative related. Of course I'm delighted for her; as she goes on and on about the cake and games and such. I look in Kierra's backpack looking for an invitation and find nothing. I check her pockets of her coat and nothing. I gently ask Jenna if "M" gave Kierra an invitation to the party as well. Jenna tells me, "No only I'm going to M's party." My heart falls and I feel so sad all of a sudden. I can't understand how anyone can invite one sister and not the other, even if the other sister has a disability. I understand that the invitee is a typical child; but still.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. Part of me feels that if both weren't invited, then they both shouldn't go. Then I think why should I punish Jenna for it? I hate the fact I have to even deal with this. This is a reality of having a special needs child. It's nothing foreign to me unfortunately. People invite Jenna to play at their houses without extending an invitation to her sister. Kids play with Jenna more at playgrounds than with Kierra. It's a sad thing for me to see because it truly breaks my heart. I know sometimes it's hard to understand why a four and a half little girl can't talk like the other kids. So do I email the mom and ask if it would be ok if Kierra came? I could assume she didn't know that the girls were sisters? Or do I just let it go? I honestly don't know... but how do you explain to your little girl when her sister heads out the door with a present in hand, that sometimes the world just sucks?