Monday, April 09, 2007


Oh I truly feel like a real mother now. Not in the 13 lbs of twins at 38 weeks gestation, 36+ hours of induced labor without epidural; ending in c-section anyways "feel like a real mother." (THAT felt more like gereatric possum hit by 18-wheeler and lived to tell about it). Not even chapped nipple breastfeeding mother whose 8 month old took off a chunk of areola with new teeth and laughed in cute baby laugh "feel like a real mother." (THAT felt like human bitter biscuit in need of antibiotics and Playtex Nurser bottles from that point on).

My darling daughter Jenna, told me her FIRST lie!!!! Oh it's a proud, proud day in our home!!! At first I didn't know whether to laugh or be shocked. She's not even 5 yet; isn't that a little young to tell a lie? I have no clue. I mean she comes from a long line of experienced liars. I, myself, told my third grade class I owned 50 cats (yes that's right 50). Imagine trying to explain where they all were when you had your birthday party and there was only one fat cat sitting in your house. (Oh and let me tell you; I had a good explanation). My teen years - I prided myself of the doosies I told. I had a boyfriend in my bedroom closet for 8 hours (not kidding); because my parents came home unexpectedly and I couldn't get him out fast enough. Now that doesn't make me the liar... the liar would be mom who KNEW he was in that closet but tormented me by letting me think she didn't. Why else would your mom come sit on your bed and all of a sudden tell you horrible stories for no reason, or insist on hanging up your clothes for you when she normally would make you do it? LOL to see you sweat of course!!! Ah we have lying genetics let me tell you.

So anyways, back to Jenna... She has this nasty habit of sucking on her shirt cuffs sometimes. She knows I hate it... she doesn't do it often. But the other day she comes upstairs after watching "Flushed Away" and the whole bottom section of her top is soaking wet. And it's all bunchy looking. I asked her what happened to her shirt. She didn't want to answer me at first. So I kept asking her, and finally she said, "Mommy, I was just watching my movie, and my imaginary friend came and did that to my shirt". LIE #1. I asked her again, and again with the imaginary friend who is really bad; did that to her shirt. LIE #2. Then I asked her did she suck on her shirt. NO mommy. LIE #3. She's seasoned already huh? Then I finally said, "Jenna did you suck on your shirt or did you get it wet using the sink?" OOOOOOHHHH now she has options; she knows I'm one to her imaginary friend being a farce. She thinks and decides the sink is a better option. So she tells me she got it wet washing her hands. LIE #4. I ask her which bathroom, she tells me the hall one. The sink is totally dry. LIE #5. So I ask her point blank, "Jenna did you suck on your shirt because I know it's not from the sink, and it's not from your imaginary friend." She tells me she doesn't want to talk about it....

LOL now if you know me (which some of you do), I quite enjoy watching a liar twist; even if they are only 4. So I told her I don't like it when she lies to me, and that she'd better come up and tell me the truth because I already KNOW the truth. Finally she cracks and tells me she sucked on her shirt and she was really sorry. SHEESH!! All that over some spit on cotton?

I find this kinda funny. I mean she was pretty ingenious to come up with a plan... and when she had to abort that one, she carefully weighed options in a way that would favor her best. Man this kid is going to be a great politician some day!!! Hopefully she doesn't tell people she has 50 cats though one day. That could prove to be a tough one to get around!!


Catwoman said...

Too funny! What's hysterical about them lying at that age is that the lies don't even make SENSE!!!!

In grade 7, I once told my entire class I had a boyfriend with multiple personality disorder. Whose eyes changed colors when he changed personalities.


Maria said...

I LOVED the story of you hiding your boyfriend in the closet for 8 hours. I mean, I was actually chortling.

Liv recently lied to her friends at an ice skating party. She told them that her dog, Skippy recently died and she was feeling sad. They all came up to tell me how sorry they were and Liv just stood there looking at me with pleading eyes. I probably missed teaching her a great lesson because I actually BACKED HER UP! I still can't believe that I not only let her lie but I added my lie to hers!

Bad mother!

We did have a long discussion on the way home about not lying. Both of us.

Em said...

It is a proud moment when the kids tells the first lie. Even the next few are pretty humorous...cause they aren't skilled enough to really pull it off. And then...well...they get really good at it! LOL

Anonymous said...


No, it isn't too young for lying. Welcome to the club!

Burg said...

I have a deal with my oldest: If she tells me the truth when I ask her something, then she doesn't get in trouble.. If she lies, she's in for it.

Tonight she fell in the bathroom because she was standing on the legs of her stepping stool while it was flipped over, which I told her not to do just yesterday.. I can tell when she's lying by the way she looks around when she talks.. After prodding her and being lied to five times, she finally told me the truth thinking she'd be protected by the "deal."

No dice..

Lene said...

Oh what a post! I love the long line of liars!

When I was in the 2nd grade, I told the priest at our church that the following day was my birthday. He showed up at my Grandparent's house with a birthday present for me. Rut roh! I got in big trouble for lying to a priest!

Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

You know what I think is great? How you find songs to match your posts...You must have a catalogue of songs in your head to go with each post! Nice.

Welcome to the liars club Jenna!

Anonymous said...

That's funny! I'm surprised she made it to 5 before her first lie. My son was about 3.

It's amazing when you see them try to lie and sneak around - even when they're so obvious you totally know what's going on. I wonder if we were that transparent when we thought we were being so slick?

And I'm with you on the breastfeeding thing. There just isn't supposed to be blood involved...

JessNickKatieRyanEmily said...

Let the fun begin!!!