Saturday, April 28, 2007

WHEN MOMS FLASH THE CHANGEROOM


If you see a show on FOX about mom's that flash in change rooms, and there is this woman wearing hot pink panties with two small children screaming - that's me!!!

I decided to surprise Jarrett and I bought tickets to the opera "Carmen" for this Sunday. He's never been to one and has always wanted to check one out. I was delighted to find great seats in the balcony!!!! I did pay a premium for the seats, but I figure if you are going to try out opera, you might as well do it right. He was pretty excited about it, as I was. How often do you have an excuse to get dolled up and go out for a nice evening?

Therefore... I needed to buy myself a gown. Now I have gowns and stuff, but they are all summery. Plus I didn't feel like digging around the wardrobe box in the basement trying to find them. The last time I wore them was on our Caribbean cruise in 2005. Oh who am I kidding, I probably am a size too big right now to fit into them. Damn you Tim Horton's timbits! I not so graciously admit that since I stopped running, things haven't been as firm. I promise myself I will start again. I bought the treadmill and the new Nikes. Don't pressure me!!!! So finally I had a moment to go shopping with Karis and Jenna. Kierra has specialized services at school on Friday, so Jenna stays home that day. I figure I can hop over to the mall, peruse the dresses, and hopefully find one.

We get to the mall, and I bribe the girls with the promise of Dairy Queen cones if they behave themselves in the store. Nothing like a treat to get immediate behavior. Jenna is having a field day looking at all these dresses. She keeps running to every one imaginable asking me if this was a nice one (um no, I don't think mommy is looking for something that a 17 year old girl would wear). I pick out about 8 of them and head for the change rooms. Now in this particular store, there are no doors on the change rooms, just these heavy curtains. First off, why no doors? Second, don't they see the potential hazards of not having more than a piece of fabric separating patrons and waiting husbands?

Jenna and Karis owed and awed over the dresses. Apparently I looked like Cinderella in all of them. Every once in a while, I would traipse out to see myself in the three way mirror, just to get a full appreciation of what I look like from all angles. At about the sixth dress, Jenna exclaims, "mommy why are your boobies showing? You have pink boobies." (Took off bra to try on strapless gowns). I told her to hush, and that was impolite. I knew full well people could hear her in the adjoining rooms. They were probably laughing; and they were probably smarter than me for not bringing their kids to the store with them. Then Jenna proceeded to comment about my bum showing, and basically wouldn't shut up about it. When I tried on the seventh dress, Jenna gets this ingenious idea to open the curtain. Here I am, bra less and wearing underwear that mostly resemble dental floss!!! I quickly grabbed the curtain and pulled it shut. A woman and her daughter got a good show I'm sure. Lord!!!! I accidentally yelled something like, "Why did you do that? Don't you use your brain?" Nice I know - but remember I just showed two women my nipples ok? I decided on a black dress, and got dressed quickly, deciding to show the back end to the curtain in case there was a repeat unveiling.

At the counter, the saleslady rung up my purchase, and then commented on how lovely my children were and how well behaved!! I just about died laughing. I hardly think she'd agree if she was just giving a free peepshow in the backroom. Hopefully there aren't any cameras in that store. I'm sure I'll be downloadable on the internet in a few days if there are!

15 comments:

Janis said...

Well Elle you never disappoint....I was in hysterics here with everyone asking me what was soo funny (get a life people)

TOO FUNNY!! I hate those stupid curtains!! WTF?? saving money? maybe you won't steal the dress if someone can come up and pull it back and say "ah HA! it's YOU in the stall with the gownless evening strap!!" @@ I'm loving your kids more and more tho!! hehe

Have fun at the Opera!!

Em said...

Very funny. We all get our 15 minutes of fame...and yours will be in your pink undies. :)

MamaLee said...

Nipples, aisle 5! LMAO

Jacks said...

lmao gotta love that - I tried on bathing suits with kids in tow once nothing like walking toward the dressing room and having your 4 year old yell out - so mom you know you're going to have to take off your underwear to try those on ewwwwwwwwwww! People didn't even try to stifle their laughter with that one.

Jolene said...

Kids - never a dull moment when they're around. I've never personally experienced the changing room comments, but my girls like to comment in restroom stalls. Truly embarrassing.

Since I don't shop with the girls as a rule, strangers have been the reason my business has been put on view. A little kid and an old lady, on separate occasions, busted in on me while I was half naked in the changing room. And there were doors, not curtains. Ughh!

tulipmom said...

LOL ... You are very brave to go gown shopping with two kids in tow ... but hey what's a little (over)exposure in exchange for all the oohs and ahhs from your girls?? I hope you both enjoy the opera!

Scattered Mom said...

Elle, don't worry, you're not alone.

I accidentally flashed thousands on Main Street USA in Disneyland a few years ago, without the help of small children.

Maybe we should start a club or something.

mcewen said...

You deserve several awards
a] for going shopping [yuk]
b] taking the girls
c] keeping your sense of humour
d] sharing with us.
Cheers

DariDonovan said...

This is hysterical, lmao. As I read along, I got a visual and am gonna be laughing about this all day! Thanks for a great start to an otherwise boring Monday morning, tee hee hee.

Slick said...

Ok Elle...I'm going to ask you an important question.

Uh....

Where do you shop?? ;)

Slackermommy said...

Too funny! My kids are notorious for opening the stall door in a public bathroom while I'm on the pot or standing with my pants at my knees. God love em!

Lene said...

How was Carmen?

Those moments in the dressing room are just priceless, aren't they? I have often wondered why they don't put doors on the dressing rooms. WTF!

Your experience gave me a good laugh! THanks! lol

Maria said...

I've been to the opera but have never taken Liv clothes shopping with me. And now I never will.....:)

Catwoman said...

I'm sure you look better than Cinderella with your pink boobies and your dental floss underwear!

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