Friday, March 23, 2007

BARELY THERE DOWN "THERE" HAIR



CAUTION: May make men cringe; make women sympathsize

Well Spring is here, which means that bathing suit season is coming around the corner in a few months. And so after months of winter.... ummm growth? .... I'm back on the well beaten path of down there hair removal. Call me crazy; but I am one of those people that DO NOT want their stuff hanging out the sides of their bikini bottom. LOL. Yes you are about to embark on a fanastic journey of me talking about my adventure of hair removal. Don't worry: I don't mention any womanly parts.

So I found myself at Wal-Mart and got myself one of those Veet bikini kits. Looks simple enough. I tried it last year on my pits and legs; and it was great. Plus it takes longer for the hair to grow back. So I got down to the task of trying it out. First off; applying that stuff is nuts. You are trying not to completely scalp yourself down there; cream is going every which way. Trying hard not to get it into any "sensitve" areas. Second, walking around like you have a stick up your butt for 5 minutes while you let the cream work isn't fun. So after the alloted time, presto!!! Things are shaping up (no pun intended - or wait maybe it is intended). They even gave this nice after cream; which smelled like some sort of flower. I was quite proud of myself. It didn't hurt or burn. I felt fancy and wanted to show off to hubby.

Let's fast forward now two days: HOLY CRAP!!! I have depilatory cream rash! Red bumps and they hurt!! That lousy cream ain't helping me now! So what if your nether-regions smell like gerber daisys? Not feeling quite so fancy anymore. Hubby started to laugh and asked me what on earth possessed me to do that. Simple: razor burn hurts like hell. Waxing seems midevil to me: I'm not applying hot wax to my crotch and then pulling the hair out with a piece of cloth! What is left? Tweezers? Blowtorch? Men - what do they know of the tragedies of hair removal? They think they have it bad shaving their faces. Guess what - no one points and laughs at you at the beach if you have facial hair guys!!!

So how many of you have gone through the dreaded bikini hair removal and thought to yourself, "is this even worth it?" Does anyone have any great tips to share? Maybe some secret tonic found in the depths of the rain forest. Or some acient Asian remedy that will permanently remove hair?

10 comments:

Burg said...

LMAO!!

I have no real advice.. The best thing I've found is to go ahead and use a razor and then use that Bikini Zone stuff or believe it or not, deodarant.. We have to do something or else we look like we've got Chewbacca in a scissor hold!

Elle said...

ROFL!!!!!!!

Tuesday Girl said...

I have wzxed int eh past but now I am shaving. It is SUCH a PITA!

Mom on Coffee said...

OMG BURG!!!!!!! Chewbacca in a scissor hold, that is AWESOME!

First, I want to thank you for putting your "down there" on the line for the good of all womenkind! Its people like you who save the crotches of America!!!

Secondly, I don't have any advice. I actually use clippers to get real close and then shave. HATE IT!

Jolene said...

I have tried almost everything except waxing. Waxing my eyebrows and upper lip hurts bad enough. I cannot imagine waxing anything else.

I have tried Nair and Nudit and I just find them to be a useless pain. I usually just shave and I don't get razor rash because I only do it once a week (However, I have a five o'clock shadow by the end of the day). Makes beach dwelling two days in a row tricky. If I tried to do it every day, that's when I get razor rash.

I have four friends who get the bikini wax done. Two go all the way and have the Brazilian done.

Not going to happen unless they offered general sedation too :)

Maria said...

Ok, I had the Brazilian thing done and lived to tell the tale....barely. I don't recommend it and will NEVER do it again. I still have nightmares about the experience.

But, I admit that the hair did not grow back for months. That was the ONLY good part about the experience.

Plus, I got the chatty attendant who insisted on telling me gross stories about women who had this procedure done while MENSTRUATING!

I was nauseated AND it hurt.

Actually, hurt is the wrong word. It looks so innocent and this was...just...not.

Janis said...

omg Elle...LMAO!! I soo hear you tho. I get these nasty 2 inch long hairs on my backs of my legs...NASTY. You should see me twisting and contorting to reach THOSE! @@..umm maybe DON'T picture that.

I find those creams just don't work for me...might as well put whip cream down there...might be a more pleasant experience for me in the end ;)

nancy said...

PMPLMFAO! One of the most funniest things I have read in a long time!

I have done it all. It ALL sucks. I am a hairy gal (hey guys - wanna date me now?) and can put Chewbacca to shame.

What I eventually did was laser. It is expensive, but it works, and it is FOREVER.

PERMANENT.

FOREVER and EVER.

I am so thrilled I did it, I recommend to everyone, but I do realize the cost. I saved and DH agreed, and we are both very happy.

;)

P.S. I did months worth of research before making that decision, email me if you want.

homemom3 said...

I tried this ONCE, never again...hubby even asked me if I wanted him to buy me one of those before I had the baby so I wouldn't have hair down there. I was all NO WAY. lol.

Dustanne said...

Oh my goodness that is sooooo funny....thanks for the product knowledge.
Me personally I shave and I occassionally pluck....yup, I am able to do it. I hate stragglies so gotta get em while I can....lol