Tuesday, March 27, 2007


I'm thinking of universal truths today. Philsophic you say? Ha! I laugh - I can't be very philosophic when I'm tired and cranky, when my shirt has cheese whiz on the boob. Sociological you say? Perhaps a bit; after all it is somewhat of an educational hazzard for me to look at things and dissect it. So here is what I've come up with today: you must have an appreciation for irony in life. Because if you don't, how can you possibly find the humor? Note I said IRONY - not ironing. No one should appreciate a nicely pressed pair of pants; unless it's your significant other. If you can't find humor in irony, I'll supply my own humor at no cost to you: well not at financial cost anyways...

So anyways, I had to stop and wonder why irony exists. It is cosmic forces at hand, showing us that humor does exist in life? Is it God telling us to be more humble? To not take life so seriously? Take a step back and realize that you can't map out every single thing that happens to you on your journey through life. That sometimes no matter how hard we try to control things; we have to resign our control because we are not at the wheel? Are we simply backseat drivers?

There was this guy in high school who always harrassed me and grabbed my ass all the time. I could't stand him and thought he was the biggest jerk. Finally one day I told him I wished he'd drop dead. The next week he died in a horrible motorcycle accident in front of the school. I was the one that called the ambulance.

When our infertility doctor told us we had only a 7% of natural conception we were devastated. Tried for 2 1/2 years to get pregnant and NADA!!! Did IVF 3 times before we finally hit the mark. Then when the twins were 10 1/2 months old I got pregnant on my own with Karis.

In university, I took autism in my abnormal psychology class. I went home and told my husband I could never deal with having a child with autism. Almost anything but that. Low and behold, who do you think has a daughter with autism?

Now you may ask me, how on earth can I find appreciation for any of those things; nevermind find the humor in it. Well with the boy that died, I obviously don't find humor. What I DID learn was that even though I thought he acted like a jackass; he was still someone's son and brother. He was still loved by a lot of people who greatly miss him. I can appreciate that although in life he got on my nerves; in death I still think about him from time to time. He taught me that life is short and uncalculated. And that even though I didn't think he was someone significant to me; he obviously in some sense was.

With the infertility, I appreciate the experience of having undergone the IVF regardless of getting pregnant on my own because if I hadn't gone through that process; I wouldn't have my twin girls. I also learned to be more humble, and that everything in life can't come easy just because it has so many times. Sometimes the greatest things in life are the hardest to achieve. The humor goes to my my mother-in-law in having the satisfaction of saying "I told you so!!" about my conceiving on my own. Her satisfaction is a small price to pay when we have Karis; but it still burns my britches let me tell you.

And last but not least, I can appreciate the fact my child has autism. I appreciate it because I learned that I'm a stronger person than I ever gave myself credit for. I often wondered at first if it was something I did; a reason I was being punished. I quickly realized how stupid that was: God doesn't punish children for the mistakes of the parent. I also realized that my ideals of what my family would be like wasn't something I could control. Sometimes you just have to look at the cards you have been dealt; and not worry about someone else's hand looking better. I appreciate it because Kierra has ALWAYS been Kierra. This has always been a part of her, and it defines her in a way. It also defines me as her mother. How can you argue with that?

The irony of any of these situations may escape some people; but it doesn't escape me. Perhaps that's the greatest lesson of all. Finding your own defintion and meaning in your life's ironies? So the question is now: what have you learned from your irony? Can you look at it and find value? Can you look at it and say you've learned from it? Can you just look at it and laugh? Or are you still failing to see it?


My Comfy Chair said...

"Wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans." That's my definition of irony.

Maria said...

Oh, yeah. There I was all through my 20's and 30's swearing that I had no biological clock and then at forty, there was this weird little noise going off inside of me...

Tick, tock. Tick tock.

I gave up trying to define myself a long time ago. And isn't it ironic that the woman who swore that children were to be avoided at all costs now is so besotted with one that she can hardly see straight some days?

Anonymous said...

Him thanks for stopping by and I see you went to visit Slick. Isn't he a hoot? His poor fiance' must go nuts sometimes, lol.

Twisted Cinderella said...

This is one of the most well-written posts I have seen in a long time. I was moved to laughter and tears and even the occasional case of goosebumps. I am so glad that you stopped by my blog today and I am going to add you to my blogroll.

btw elle, you are my personal hero if you have the bins in your kids rooms labelled! I have been wanting to put picture labels on all of Little Princess's bins!

Slick said...

Geeez, this was deep. Actually, I was riveted to the story...

Great writing!

Lots of moronic stuff...errr ironic stuff happens to me but I've learned how to just go with the flow so to speak.

I hope being a hoot is a good thing? ;)

Jana said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment! It always brings me such joy to know someone's reading!

This post. Oh my! HOW I CAN RELATE! I always said I'd never work in a restaurant. Out of 5 jobs, 4 were in restaurants. I always said I wouldn't marry a man with earrings, tattoo, long hair, or hairy chest. Guess what!! I always said IF I had kids, it would be only two and they'd both be boys. Well, my two oldest are girls and we couldn't stop there! Then we had Alexander, and what I wouldn't give to have many more!!

Great post!

Em said...

I taught special education...specializing in kids with autism...for many years prior to switching to other positions in our school. I could not imagine being the parent of one of the kids...it seemed impossible. So yes, now we have a kid on the autism spectrum.

I do see the irony. LOL