OK seriously: do you ever hear your child talk and wonder where on earth they come up with the things that so effortlessly fall from their lips? Ever try hard not to laugh your face off when they make these sudden proclamations? The other night at dinner, Jenna (one of the twins) was monitoring me making dinner. As soon as I pulled the brocolli out of the veggie crisper, I knew it was coming. "Ohhhh what is THAT?", "I don't want to eat that!", "I don't think that looks right." Sheesh kid, at least wait until it's on your plate before you start to dog it!!
Let me back up a second and give you a better understanding about Jenna and meals. Since this kid was born; she's been a picky eatter. Can't breastfeed cause she's too lazy, or because my nipple didn't look sanitary enough (she is a clean freak). Every time she ate, about 10 minutes later, it re-surfaced (of all the matching baby outfits, Jenna's always had the stains). Jenna can live off of one saltine and a juice box for an entire week. The child is 4 1/2 and probably weighs a whopping 32 lbs soaking wet. She'd rather go hungry than eat a meal she doesn't approve of. She gives us the "reject" fries at McDonald's if they have any brown discoloration, any strange "dints" or anything else that doesn't meet her anal non-french fry standards. Ever see a kid try to dust off her food for no aparent reason? She has a meal repetoire of probably 8 things. Got it all? OK back to the brocolli.
So anyways, she tells me she's not hungry (although she is), and when she comes to the table about 10 mintues after dinner starts, she begins to complain about the meal. I made scalloped potatoes with cheese and chicken florentine too; so even in spite of the brocolli, something should have been ok. All of a sudden, Jenna says to me very seriously,
J - "Mom, I have to start making my own choices in life."
Me - "Excuse me?"
J - "I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I need to make my choices."
Me - trying not to laugh "Oh really?"
J - "Yes. I'm making a choice to not eat this brocolli. It has celery on it."
Me - "I'm pretty sure there is no celery on your brocolli".
J - "Yes look" points at the stem
Me - "Well that's part of the brocolli".
J - "I'm thinking my choice is not to eat it anyways."
Me - "You are too young to make your own choices. Some things yes, but not about vegetables."
J - "No fair mom! You are intafrereering with my choices!"
She was so serious, man it was hard not to totally crack up! Where do they come up with this stuff? The next day she was having a pretend yard sale (where did she learn about those?) and tried to sell me a stuff animal for $10.00! Already has her father's business witts about her let me tell you. I have to remember to write some of these antedotes in her baby book, because I think one day it will be funny to read them to her. And by the by; I feel sorry for anyone that goes to one of her yard sales. Make sure to bring plenty of cash!