Saturday, March 31, 2007


Today I was particularly pleased with myself. I had bought three new pairs of shoes yesterday (FYI: I don't ever hardly buy shoes; I wear them til they fall apart). One of them was a pair of black leather ballet flat shoes that look like Mary Janes. I thought super-cute!!!!

So today we decided to take the inlaws out to the Calgary Tower for lunch. Since the girls have never taken the C-train we thought hey let's take it downtown. I decided this was a perfect time to try out my new shoes!!! Comfy nice shoes. At the terminal, one of the buttons on my maryjanes went and so the strap was dangling uselessly. I was pissed - I had barely owned them for 12 hours!! Nothing I could do, just tried to tuck the strap into the side, and hoped no one would notice my defective shoe.

I guess since I was planning on taking them back; the other shoe figured WTF so it blew the other!!! OK seriously those shoes were out to get me the moment I paid for them. As soon as I got home, I threw them in the box and they are waiting to go back to the store. I am so annoyed: not only because they broke but because I really thought they were cute!!!

And in other news: my bladder decided my life wasn't fun enough so I now have a bladder infection. I will have been on 17 days worth of antibiotics in the last 30 days when I'm done with them. Good grief!!! Things just keep getting better and better let me tell you!!! On the way home from getting my script filled, I was screwing around with my XM radio and heard an old tune "Mr. Wendall" by Arrested Development. I remembered back in the day, I would've danced like a nutjob to that song. How fitting I'm tapping my mediocre shoes to a song I used to really dig. So I'm going to share it with you. Here's to better brands of shoes, and may your toe-tapping not deteriorate your footwear.

Friday, March 30, 2007


You know you are a mother when...

Your child has orange in her pull-up and you automatically think she's got some foreign disease.

Yesterday morning Karis woke up and her pull-up was full of this bright orange. It was neon orange in fact, and it totally threw me for a loop. I wouldn't have been more surprised if a leuprachan jumped out of there and asked me where his pot of gold be. At first I thought she must be really dehydrated or something; automatically think of brickdust. Upon more thought, I don't think that's it because this kid drinks tons. There is no possible way she's dehydrated. I'd better keep an eye on it; see what develops.

Three hours later, I notice AGAIN it's in her pull-up. Now I'm freaking out. I look on webmd; find nothing reassuring (ie: diabetes, renal failure... sheesh). I call our family doctor and explain what's happening. They can fit me in on Friday (don't they know she could have her kidney's shriveling up or laspe into a diabetic coma??). They tell me to call the nurses hotlink; because apparently my family doctor is too busy to hear about my kids bright orange ass. I call the number and sit on the phone for 20 minutes while the nurse tries to figure out what could be causing it. She's coming up blank; bless her heart she tried. Says keep your appointment on Friday, but she didn't think it was anything serious (neon orange pull-ups aren't serious?). Gave me some warning signs that mean don't pass GO, go directly to ER.

I then decide to try to get Karis to pee in a container so I can see the pee better, see if there is blood. We have those stupid blue pucks in our toilets, I couldn't see anything in there. I mean it looks like a smurf peed in it. She had already went in her pull-up again and amazingly enough, it was totally clear!! Odd I think to myself. I still insist she tries. Nothing. She laughs, asks to ride her bike in the snow, I tell her no. She sings a song, butchering up the words badly. Asks if we can have poutine for dinner. She gets off and I notice orange droplets in the container. I KNOW she didn't pee. So now I'm thinking, not area A... must be area B. Try to get a better look; she's laughing cause she ticklish and let's be fair; thinks it's hillarious I want to see her butthole. Then it hits me: I remember my sister telling me my niece had this happen when she took this mineral oil laxative... the SAME stuff I gave Karis two days before. I call up my sister and sure enough, she tells me this is a side effect she knows all too well. She's shocked I've never seen it before. I had to laugh: all that over some shart.

So I guess I can call off the exploratory surgery, the total blood panel and my call to the surgeon general. Boy a mother sure can get worried over the silliest little things can't they?

Thursday, March 29, 2007

TAG.... YOU'RE IT!!!!!

Burg (aka Deeper Shades of Red) tagged me to list the top 7 songs I've been listening to lately. She says I always have neat choices of music AWWWWWWW. I think this is my first official tag - so here I go!!!

1. "GIRFRIEND" Avril Lavinge: I just like this song. I just like Avril. Hey she's Canadian - she's awesome ;) She has such an interesting voice, plus this song has a hint of the Go-Go's to it or something. It's a good mix of 80's and today IMO.

2. "IN THIS LIFE" Chantal Kreviazuk: Ah another Canadian. I love her - I don't like her Fruitesse Garnier commericals though (they are so lame). This song just nails how I feel sometimes. Actually Chantal has so many good songs, you could play most of her CD without fast forwarding through most of the songs (Fergie anyone?)

3. "PUMP IT" Black Eyed Peas: I'm a girl in love with a good beat. Plus I love running on the treadmill to this song. It actually pumps me up and I run a lot faster. So props go to the BEP's for improving my cardio fitness!

4. "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL" Carrie Underwood: This song is great. The whole concept that when life is out of control you must resign yourself to Jesus to help you find your way. She and Kellie are the only ones I've liked from American Idol.

5. "SUDDENLY I SEE" KT Tunstall: I like waking up to this song on the radio. It just makes me feel cheery and bright, and I can shake off the morning groggies easily. I also love "BLACK HORSE AND THE CHERRY TREE". She's just got such a rich voice.

6. "I WOULD DIE FOR YOU" Jann Arden: Man another Canadian... LOL. I had my Jann Arden CD's stolen from my car years ago. Last month I saw some on sale at Best Buy and had to have them. I'm playing it over and over in my van all the time. I especially love this song. Something about how love is so all emcompassing and passionate.

7. "SWEET ESCAPE" Gwen Steffani: I like this song, plus my kids love to rock out to it. They dance like maniacs. I'll be honest, I liked Gwen's debut album much better than this one; it had a lot of great hits on it. This one, I only like really 2 or 3 songs out of them all. But I still love this one. Plus you have to love someone confident enought to pull off a feminized version of the pompador.

So there you have it. The 7 songs circulating my head lately. So I guess if I have to tag; I'm done a mass tag. ANYONE who is reading this right now has been officially tagged (unless you have been already). So turn up the volume and let's hear it!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


No this is not a post about penis envy (lol why anyone would envy that is beyond me; I wouldn't wish being kicked in the sack by my kids every other day like my husband). My husband has cause to be concerned over castration anxiety (you can only get hoofed so many times people!) Ah yes the Theory of Sexuality: if you believe in this one; your children will overthrow your husband in a lust quest for you. A little batty; and that is illegal nowadays no? This is also not a post about my ego and id duking it out. Hell it's bad enough my ass is battling my bathroom scale. Ahhhhh but free association: I think this is something I can give props to Freud for. Besides, I don't think hypnotherapy would be a good idea. Don't want you all typing blogs about how you were a chicken in a past lifetime. Let's give it a try shall we?

SAFEWAY GROCERY STORE: Anililation Why oh why when you get carry out service to they INSIST on putting your fruit or baked goods on the bottom; and then put a 24 pack of Diet Pepsi directly on top? Oh yes that's right, if the bread is only 1 mm thick, it has less calories.

SLEEPING: Farce When people tell you all is great once your baby starts sleeping through they night, they are CLEARLY lying in your face!! They don't mention the 101 times your four year old will wake you up at night to ask you to fix a blanket, give you a hug, or even just to say they love you. At 3:00am all I want to hear is the sound of my snoring!

MOTORHOME: Eyesore I have this neighbor in our cul de sac that insists on leaving his piece of crap 1960's motorhome on the street. This thing is not only an eyesore, but it's in the way of everyone, plus it's against City by-laws. Does that stop him from leaving it out there? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. You'd think we'd all band together and burn it like it was a witch at the Salem Trials but this guy is loco. He's driven out people behind him already. We are afraid he will retaliate and drive his rusty can through our living room window.

CURIOUS GEORGE: Annoying LOL refer to previous post 2 down for a lengthier explanation on that one!

G-STRING: Disillusioned LOL ok the theory that if your panties are half-way up your butt already, why not just put them their purposely is nuts. Last year I decided to rekindle my inner sex goddess. I got rid of all the "mom undies" I accumulated since I had kids, and bought all nice lacy, pretty g-strings. Back in the day I had only matching bra/panty combos. I figure hubby must be missing my sexy undy days. For those of you who don't know, a g-string ain't all that more comfy. I mean you still are picking at that damn thing!! Except now you have to dig deeper - gross you out yet?

SNOW: Depressing You know I can handle winter in normal environments but ever since we moved here, it's been snow one day, spring jacket weather the next. WHY?????? It's like weather foreplay but you aren't getting off. If it's going to be winter fine, give me the snow and then when it melts in the spring; stay melted!!! Yesterday we got a few inches, and today it's lovely out. Rabbits and birds running amuck; flowers still trying to figure out it they are supposed to bloom. Make up your mind!

I could go on for days... is that a bad thing? I'll continue to lie on the couch here and think about it (as my left eye twitches sporadically). Feel free to book your next session. My time has run out.


I'm thinking of universal truths today. Philsophic you say? Ha! I laugh - I can't be very philosophic when I'm tired and cranky, when my shirt has cheese whiz on the boob. Sociological you say? Perhaps a bit; after all it is somewhat of an educational hazzard for me to look at things and dissect it. So here is what I've come up with today: you must have an appreciation for irony in life. Because if you don't, how can you possibly find the humor? Note I said IRONY - not ironing. No one should appreciate a nicely pressed pair of pants; unless it's your significant other. If you can't find humor in irony, I'll supply my own humor at no cost to you: well not at financial cost anyways...

So anyways, I had to stop and wonder why irony exists. It is cosmic forces at hand, showing us that humor does exist in life? Is it God telling us to be more humble? To not take life so seriously? Take a step back and realize that you can't map out every single thing that happens to you on your journey through life. That sometimes no matter how hard we try to control things; we have to resign our control because we are not at the wheel? Are we simply backseat drivers?

There was this guy in high school who always harrassed me and grabbed my ass all the time. I could't stand him and thought he was the biggest jerk. Finally one day I told him I wished he'd drop dead. The next week he died in a horrible motorcycle accident in front of the school. I was the one that called the ambulance.

When our infertility doctor told us we had only a 7% of natural conception we were devastated. Tried for 2 1/2 years to get pregnant and NADA!!! Did IVF 3 times before we finally hit the mark. Then when the twins were 10 1/2 months old I got pregnant on my own with Karis.

In university, I took autism in my abnormal psychology class. I went home and told my husband I could never deal with having a child with autism. Almost anything but that. Low and behold, who do you think has a daughter with autism?

Now you may ask me, how on earth can I find appreciation for any of those things; nevermind find the humor in it. Well with the boy that died, I obviously don't find humor. What I DID learn was that even though I thought he acted like a jackass; he was still someone's son and brother. He was still loved by a lot of people who greatly miss him. I can appreciate that although in life he got on my nerves; in death I still think about him from time to time. He taught me that life is short and uncalculated. And that even though I didn't think he was someone significant to me; he obviously in some sense was.

With the infertility, I appreciate the experience of having undergone the IVF regardless of getting pregnant on my own because if I hadn't gone through that process; I wouldn't have my twin girls. I also learned to be more humble, and that everything in life can't come easy just because it has so many times. Sometimes the greatest things in life are the hardest to achieve. The humor goes to my my mother-in-law in having the satisfaction of saying "I told you so!!" about my conceiving on my own. Her satisfaction is a small price to pay when we have Karis; but it still burns my britches let me tell you.

And last but not least, I can appreciate the fact my child has autism. I appreciate it because I learned that I'm a stronger person than I ever gave myself credit for. I often wondered at first if it was something I did; a reason I was being punished. I quickly realized how stupid that was: God doesn't punish children for the mistakes of the parent. I also realized that my ideals of what my family would be like wasn't something I could control. Sometimes you just have to look at the cards you have been dealt; and not worry about someone else's hand looking better. I appreciate it because Kierra has ALWAYS been Kierra. This has always been a part of her, and it defines her in a way. It also defines me as her mother. How can you argue with that?

The irony of any of these situations may escape some people; but it doesn't escape me. Perhaps that's the greatest lesson of all. Finding your own defintion and meaning in your life's ironies? So the question is now: what have you learned from your irony? Can you look at it and find value? Can you look at it and say you've learned from it? Can you just look at it and laugh? Or are you still failing to see it?


That kid on the Sixth Sense could see dead people... I can see little brown monkeys. They are everywhere. Monkeys eating bananas, monkeys on a freight ship, monkeys painting a penthouse suite... just monkeys!!!! Have you started to wonder where I am going with this? I get confused a lot and tend to drone on and on; on account of all the bloody, mind-numbing monkeys!

And I continue...

Kierra does not thrive on diversity. She loves consistency, predictability; the same old routine. Yes this is a huge problem with some of the kids on the autism spectrum. If they aren't sure what's happening next, they get a tad "annoyed". This is part of what we work on in therapy. She has a very structured day you knows. From 9-12 she has in-home therapy, and then from 1-3 she attends junior kindy for special needs children (mostly ASD kids). She probably works harder than most adults you'll ever meet. So when she comes home, I let her veg out. She's only four years old; we don't want a preschooler with ulcers and suffering from burnout. So every day she wants to do the same thing: get home from school, throw boots on my carpet, throw jacket on floor. Make sure the hall light is on, and then run to the television to see what is on. And you better hope it's not something like Oprah or Dr. Phil.

Case in point: Kierra LOVES the Curious George movie. Every single day; she has to watch this DVD. In fact, she doesn't even have to watch it - it just needs to be playing somewhere in the vicinity of my home. And you can't turn it off if she leaves the room - OH NO SIREE BOB!!! She has sonar or something and knows the exact milisecond you turn it off. And she'll come a running up to you and scream at you until you turn it back on. Now normally I wouldn't condone this sort of behavior. I mean she needs to settle down and realize it's not always about her. Lately she's pretty amicable about things: we can make deals with her whereas we never could before. Especially since her communication has improved over the past few months. But there is one thing she will not comprimise on and that's Curious George.

I can honestly say I hate that monkey. I hate hearing the theme song; which sometimes I sing to myself and then realize I'm doing it. I hate the man with the yellow hat. I don't even want to watch other movies with the voices of Will Ferrell and Drew Barrymore - can't blame them for doing the voice overs for the movie but I can't handle anything to do with Curious George. I could recite the entire movie word for word. Would it be entirely horrible if I "accidentally" scratched the entire surface of the DVD??????? Did I mention we also have numerous Curious George books and even a stuffed Curious George? This shit is bananas (a la Gwen Steffani).

It's more than likely a phase I'm sure. I mean we won't have to watch this movie until she moves out (will we?). So if anyone has a bottle of valium handy, or hey even some Jack Daniels... pass it over ok. Because there is only so much of a monkey any parent can take! Wait a minute, did that stuffed Curious George just wink at me????

Monday, March 26, 2007


Back for more huh? Can't get enough of me - admit it ;) Wondering about the title of my post? Ah, I have you intrigued. Come we have much to discuss.

THE GOOD: This week-end hubby went out and bought me a brand new Buick Terraza minivan (as pictured here). I'm in LOVE with this van. We went to look at it two weeks ago and had been mulling it over since. We previously had a Silouette Premiere, but the warranty is almost up on it; and we've been having problems with it. Of course Jarrett had the thrill of bantering with the salesman. Hubby is definately a business man at heart let me tell you. He takes great pride in getting the deal he wants. I say good for him; because I'm not good at it. I would end up paying more than the average person easily. So I get the van on Tuesday. Now we have a garage full of Buicks (and kids bicycles LOL).

THE BAD: Sunday morning hubby woke up and found that some lights in the house weren't working. Strange since they worked before we went to bed. He went down to the electrical panel and the breaker had tripped. For some odd reason it won't reset. It keep tripping, which means there is a problem somewhere. So he tried to replace the breaker - nope that wasn't it. Now he has to take down all the fixtures to see if it is one of them that is shorting. Not a fun task. We still haven't figured it out (wishes he would just call the electrician). So we have no lights for the kitche, breakfast nook, rec room, spare bedroom, storage room and the furnace room. Honestly; why did this have to happen?

THE UGLY: I have two uglies. First, I have another one of those annoying ganglion cysts on my wrist. Always the same spot, same wrist. Ever since university (from crazy note taking no doubt). This thing gives me the heebie jeebies for some reason. I remember the first time I saw it I freaked. Go to the doctor who went ahead to squeeze it; I yelled a loud profanity at him (FYI a ganglion cyst is basically a raised bundle of nerves - don't pinch your nerves). So now I have to see if this thing is going to bugger off or not. The second ugly is our friends lent us their Borat movie. OK no one wants to see some gross, fat guys scrotum on another naked man's face!! EW EW EW!!! There isn't enough liquid soap to clean my eyes of that image!!

So there you have it: the good, the bad and the ugly. Might I just add I'd much prefer only goods??

Saturday, March 24, 2007


So Slacker-Mom challenged anyone who basically reads her blog to come up with their own defination of what it is to be a real mom. Gotta love her blog; and I definately love her honesty!!! She's a great read if anyone hasn't read her blog.
So I'm up for the challenge. Just let me brush the Cheerios out of my hair, and get serious for a moment (no one can be serious with cereal in their hair).

So after some thought this is what I came up with:

A real mom is someone that never puts up a fascade that being a mother is always perfect and easy. She doesn't put up aires that her children are perfect in every single way; because she's afraid other's may think she's a failure. She doesn't wear a plastic smile and put on a good show, trying to belittle you for giving your kid a Kit-Kat bar when it clearly didn't come for a wholistic foods store. She doesn't look at other moms and chastizes them for not enrolling their children in prep schools when they were still fetuses.

A real mom is someone that isn't afraid to pull her hair in public when her kids are acting like brats. She is someone who is real and feels. She is someone we can all pick out of a crowd, and sympathsize with because we know exactly how she feels. she is someone that realizes that being a mom is hard work; but it well worth it all.

A real mom is someone who doesn't beat herself up because she wasn't able to uphold all the unrealistic ideals she had about what it would be like having children. She is smart and savy enough to know that "what you think it will be like" and "what it actually is like" are different things. She knows that parenting is like flying by the seat of your pants; and that there is nothing predictable about it!

A real mom always tells her children how wonderful they are. She always find the beauty in a picture her child made, even if it's just scribbles. She loves to hear the songs her kids sing, even if it's off-tune and not American Idol quality. She doesn't care if they dress themselves and they are totally mismatched. All her children's stories are grand, and she always has praise for them because she truly feels pride.

A real mom doesn't look at her body and blame her kids for wrecking it. Although she probably doesn't enjoy her stretch marks and saggier boobs, she realizes that it's just part of having kids. She may not admit it; but part of her feels the honor of having her children, even if she doesn't have the same bod she did when she was 18. A real mom doesn't want to be 18 again anyways.

A real mom refuses to limit what she'll do for her children. She refuses to let her kids down. She always has an ear to lend, as well as a hug and kiss. She always has tons of love to spare.

Friday, March 23, 2007


CAUTION: May make men cringe; make women sympathsize

Well Spring is here, which means that bathing suit season is coming around the corner in a few months. And so after months of winter.... ummm growth? .... I'm back on the well beaten path of down there hair removal. Call me crazy; but I am one of those people that DO NOT want their stuff hanging out the sides of their bikini bottom. LOL. Yes you are about to embark on a fanastic journey of me talking about my adventure of hair removal. Don't worry: I don't mention any womanly parts.

So I found myself at Wal-Mart and got myself one of those Veet bikini kits. Looks simple enough. I tried it last year on my pits and legs; and it was great. Plus it takes longer for the hair to grow back. So I got down to the task of trying it out. First off; applying that stuff is nuts. You are trying not to completely scalp yourself down there; cream is going every which way. Trying hard not to get it into any "sensitve" areas. Second, walking around like you have a stick up your butt for 5 minutes while you let the cream work isn't fun. So after the alloted time, presto!!! Things are shaping up (no pun intended - or wait maybe it is intended). They even gave this nice after cream; which smelled like some sort of flower. I was quite proud of myself. It didn't hurt or burn. I felt fancy and wanted to show off to hubby.

Let's fast forward now two days: HOLY CRAP!!! I have depilatory cream rash! Red bumps and they hurt!! That lousy cream ain't helping me now! So what if your nether-regions smell like gerber daisys? Not feeling quite so fancy anymore. Hubby started to laugh and asked me what on earth possessed me to do that. Simple: razor burn hurts like hell. Waxing seems midevil to me: I'm not applying hot wax to my crotch and then pulling the hair out with a piece of cloth! What is left? Tweezers? Blowtorch? Men - what do they know of the tragedies of hair removal? They think they have it bad shaving their faces. Guess what - no one points and laughs at you at the beach if you have facial hair guys!!!

So how many of you have gone through the dreaded bikini hair removal and thought to yourself, "is this even worth it?" Does anyone have any great tips to share? Maybe some secret tonic found in the depths of the rain forest. Or some acient Asian remedy that will permanently remove hair?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


I have to admit; toys sure have changed since I was a little girl. I mean the sheer technology is mind-blowing. But really, I love seeing toys brought back from when I was a kid too. My Little Ponies, Care Bears, Cabbage Patch Kids. My girls have ALL the My Little Ponies I had when I was a little girl. You wouldn't believe the awesome condition they are in! They love them as much as I did when I was little.

So yesterday, I took the kids to look at toys. Karis had some bday money left from my grandma to spend. Jenna and Kierra were looking at the barbies so I told them they could each pick out one. Jenna choose a sunbathing barbie, and Kierra this dog trainer barbie. It came with a dog and all these neat little doggie supplies. I thought it was cool; plus Jenna has the one with the cat already - so now they don't have to fight over the animals (event though they probably will anyways).

So I get it home, take it out of the box. In the dog bowl, I could see little dogfoods. Then I see an additional packet of these little brown bites. They are heavier than I expect and are magnetic. OK keeps them in the bowl better I figure; that way you don't loose them. Then I notice the dog's mouth opens and there is a HOLE in it's butt! OK seriously, you feed the dogs the little brown magnets and then it POOPS them out!! There is a magnetic pooper scooper and a trashcan! First reaction? That's so gross! LOL who wants to play picking up dog crap? I didn't want to do it when I had a real dog! Second, man those are a choking hazzard those little brown turds. Did I mention the cat that Jenna had came with three packets of colored sand for "kitty litter?" I wouldn't give them to her; can you imagine that fine grit all over the place? No thanks. So my question is: when did Barbie get so biologically correct? I mean what's next: Barbie lactating?

I guess things have really changed from the days when you had a babydoll that peed her pants. My girls have babies that suck pacifiers and bottles, cry tears, and pee themselves. Not to mention cry, burp and coo to themselves (we usually turn them off; they are annoying). And now to add to our collection: fecal matter hound and kitty litter cat. When I showed it to hubby; he damn near choked on his dinner! He asked me a simple, "why?" I honestly didn't have an answer for him. I don't know if any of your kids have these but let me tell you; it's pretty crazy when your kid's plastic dog is shooting brown magnets out of it's butt!


I have three free Pogo Club guest passes to give away for anyone that may be interested. You can actually play games for free online there; but I have the "Club" free week membership which have more fun features to try. So if anyone would like a free week, please post your reply. Since I only have 3, it's going to be first post, first dibs. I'll need your email address to send you the pass.

The moose at McDonalds... I just posted that for fun. Seems like the logical thing to do when you don't have a post with my substance right? LOL.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


No I did NOT buy an orange stove... but alas, I did have to replace my other one. It was only 5 years old, and it will be going to the dump this week-end. That part I mentioned earlier last week? Didn't work at ALL!!! Yes the part that was non-refundable if you installed it. OK for a minute let's get rationale: it was told to us that it was compatible... so how's it our fault the thing didn't work after all? Waste of $300.00, Purlolator courier and my husbands time.

So Sunday we went and bought a NEW stove. It came today. Finally I have an oven again. Right now it sits in the room between the kitchen and the family room. Not very functional there but oh well; at least I have it. Hubby will have to install it tonight. Wanna hear something funny? When we pulled out the old one, we noticed it was plugged into a normal outlet. Not the usual stove outlet. Well we figure, that's not good; the stove we are buying requires a stove outlet. So we go to the Home Depot, and I tell hubby to run in quick; it's miserable and I don't feel like hauling 3 kids into a store for 5 mintues. Jarrett comes back all huffy looking less than 2 minutes later. He tells me they won't let him in cause it's "Ladies Night."

OK seriously - ladies night at Home Depot? I had to laugh. I asked him what we needed, and said I'd go get it. I walk in and there is pink balloons, people handing out fresh coffee, and a table with goodies including this huge icing cake! Then this woman runs up to me with a hot pink piece of paper and tells me not to forget to enter the drawing! OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAYYYYYYYY. I just came in for an outlet. It was truly the strangest thing I've ever seen. Displays everywhere with women crowded around. And I'm talking 100's of ladies!! I got out as fast as I could. I mean that was too much estrogen for even me!! Jarrett said that was blatant discrimination: afterall it's not a private club store. He's just sore he didn't get to have any cake ;)

So tonight I'm using my rotisserie for the last time I hope (man that thing is a $#&*$# to clean), and I can resume a normal life of cooking. That and I'm sick of take-out. Wish us happy stove installation!

Monday, March 19, 2007


Now that I have more people checking out my blog, I thought it might be fun to do a "10 Fun Facts". Basically 10 things about myself I would like to share with others. I do hope you'll share 10 things about yourself with me!!

1. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED ALMOST 9 YEARS, BUT BEEN WITH MY GUY FOR 15: We started to date right after I graduated high school and we've been tight ever since!
2. I HAVE DEGREES IN SOCIOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY: I'm a humanities girl, what can I say? I love to psycho-analyze everything. Is that a bad thing?
3. I CONCEIVED MY TWINS THROUGH IN VITRO FERTILIZATION: After trying for more than 2 years, we finally had our twins girls through IVF. That was a LOT of injections btw.
5. I PLAY THE PIANO: Better when I was a teenager, but still. DH recently bought me a piano so I'm honing up on my skills.
6. I AM CANADIAN; BUT MY CHILDREN ARE ALL AMERICANS: We went to university and live in the States for the first 7 years of our marriage. So all our kids were born in the States. Technically they have dual-citizenship on account of their parents both being hoosers.
7. I AM SEVERELY ADDICTED TO CAFFEINE: I had to say it. No I don't drink coffee or even lates, but I love my Diet Pepsi. Don't ever cross paths with me on a day I didn't have a Diet Pepsi.
8. I HAVE A CHILD WITH AUTISM: Most of you probably figured out this one, but one of our twins was diagnosed with Autism just after she turned 2 years old. She's doing great due to the extensive therapies. We are just taking one day at a time; and she amazes us daily.
9. I HAVE BEEN WRITING A BOOK SINCE 2001: You know, ever since the kids, I haven't had much time to write it. It's definately a work in progress but I vow to one day finish it!
10. I LOVE TO PAINT: Not walls, I actually hate that. But I do love to get a canvas and create! I so far have painted one in our house, one for my mom, and my husband has "commissioned" me to do one for his office. Payment for that one is rather... sexy!

Any more questions? Post away!

Friday, March 16, 2007


Hmmmmm, if irish eyes are smiling they sure aren't smiling on me. No I haven't happened upon a four leaf clover lately. If any of you find one, could you kindly loan it to this household? We could use it!!

First of all, the week started out with Karis having a fever for a day, and vomiting on me twice. That, in and of itself, is awful. I am not one of those moms that got used to vomit as her kids got older. In fact, I am the biggest sympathy gagger ever!!! After that she seemed fine.

Me and hubby, however, not so much. Jarrett came home on Monday really sick. He basically slept 28 hours straight and was still tired!! Had a fever, sore throat - whole enchillada. Turns out he had some massive strep throat. GREAT!! Guess who got it the next day? That's right ME! So hubby was off Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday I go to the doc, get some med's and yes for sure I have a lovely assortment of something foreign growing in my throat too! EWWWWW. So I can't swallow anything basically - hurts to much. I pretty much took after hubby, slept most of Wednesday away! It's amazing how much you sleep when your body is tired. I was rocking around with 101-102 fevers, and pretty much just out of it.
Hey but I lost 4 lbs so far this week basically living off of liquids.

Then last week, the panel on my stove went caput! By caput I mean the oven will no longer turn on, and the timer was useless. All that worked was my elements. Not convenient. So we ordered this replacement part. Cost $300.00 but that's cheaper than say $800.00 for a new stove. Get the part, and it doesn't work!! The guy tells us once you hook it up, you can't bring it back. OK so how is it OUR fault that he recommended the part to us, and it didn't work? We're going to say we never hooked it up; wish us luck. Oh so that means I'm going to have to buy a new stove this week-end.

Then yesterday, Karis again with the fevers. Ranging from 100-102 all day with motrin and tylenol. Won't let me take her temperature because her ears hurt. GREAT! Call the doctor, who can't see her until today. All night I was up with this kid paranoid she was going to go into fever convulsions. Hopefully she too doesn't have strep, but I'm pretty sure she has another ear infection (she had one last month yes that's correct). I'm going to have to talk to him about maybe tubes in her ears. She gets way too many infections. Wish us luck at THAT appointment!

Anyways, that's about my manic week!! Hope the rest of you are having a better week than I have. And make sure to spray your screen with Lysol - they say strep is pretty contagious ;)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Clowns. Did you know that is the number one fear of society? Not spiders, not even heights (althought they rank up there pretty high). Yes clowns. And how could you not? I mean has any of you watched the movie, "IT" by Stephen King? Man that's one scary ass clown. I mean seriously; I wouldn't want that mutha at my birthday party!

Now, the "Pates Baroni" clown as shown here, he's not the sewer dwelling kinda clown like King's Pennywise was. Maybe if Pennywise ate something other than the fears of children, he wouldn't have been so bloody crabby. Plus dude was in serious need of a good dental plan. But this fun-loving clown has meaning in this household. Kierra LOVES pasta. And when I say love, I mean this kid would eat it 24-7 if you let her. Every day, there is a box of pasta sitting on my counter top. Doesn't necessarily mean I'm making it; but it'll still be perched on the counter just the same. Kierra adores anything pasta related... cue the picture. This picture is displayed in most eatteries that serves pasta. And that's where Kierra first saw it. She is a girl of few words, but she always smiles and says "pasta" when she sees him. We laughed, and thought it cute. To see her face light up every time she saw it; it was great to see something having such a positive effect on her.

So anyways, I was in Michael's Crafts looking at prints, and happened on this particular print "Pates Baroni". I immediately thought of Kierra and had to buy it. We have a Tuscan themed kitchen, so it fit right in there. So the "spaghetti clown," as he has been affectionately be named, has definately become part of our art culture. It's funny what people consider to be tasteful art. Some people love impressionism, others like abstract... we like the spaghetti clown. People do often look at it; and look at us like "okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay" but hey, it's all subjective. Besides, how can you not love a clown? Oh that's right...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Friendship is based on what it gives,
Not what it gets.

Friendship stays alive by serving the other,
Not seeking to be served.

Friendship is motivated by love,
Not debt.

Friendship is willing to sacrifice,
Without seeing or expecting in return.

It doesn't make sense, but the more it gives up,
The stronger it gets.

I found this little excerpt in a book about friendship. I thought it was pretty insightful. Unfortunately it didn't have the author's name on it. Maybe it was just someone who had something to say; but didn't necessarily didn't want the credit for it. Well, anonymous or not, I just had to share his/her words on here.

One of my closest buds called me last night; out of the blue. It was nice to hear from her. We've both been so busy with our kids; and we live far from one another. But every year we still make a point of visiting. I've known her for about 17 years. It made me think about all the people I have called "friend" in this lifetime. Some I think of some quite often, even though it may have been months or years since we've last talked. Some I've made over the past few years; and it's like I've known them all my life. Hell, there are people I've never "officially" met; and I call them my best confidents in this world. There are people I thought I'd never lose touch with; but I have. There is a few I've known since before I grew boobs (LOL had to say it; but it's true). And there are some people you just can't let go of, even though they've let go a long time ago.

Friendship is something I truly treasure. As a woman, and a mom; I find that it's the one stable thing that keeps me grounded. They are my sounding boards; my sanctuaries when I'm going off the deep end. Of course I consider my husband my "best" friend in this life (I think it's sad when you can't say that about your spouse). But a gal always needs her girls too. There is just something natural and easy about telling your best girlfriends all your troubles (not only because they think your husband is a dick when you think he is), but because they can relate to your thoughts and feelings only like a fellow woman can.

May you all cherish your own friendships; keep them close in your hearts and feel blessed for having them.

Monday, March 12, 2007


During my cleaning rituals of the house I noticed a few things that just annoy me to no end.

WHY OH WHY when you look in your utensil trays, or your utensil holders, there is always that crumbly junk in the tray? Seriously! I wash my forks, they are clean when I put them away (I swear). I never put one away with a hardened piece of rice in there. So where does this stuff come from? It's disturbing! And you know, you can clean it and a few days later, there it is again!!! This stuff comes from the secret portal where missing socks must go to hide for 23 months before showing up a day after you finally gave up and threw out it's mate.

That's another thing; where the hell do the socks go? I paired up the girls socks - I had about 30 pairs. Put them in the wash, put them in the dryer - went to fold them and I'm missing two!!! Do Maytag have some sort of joke going that they sell us dryers that are possessed by lint eatting sock gremlins? I don't get it! It's the same sick little buggers that put that bounce sheet into your pant leg so when you go to the grocery store it pops out.

Why does my Swiffer leave more fuzz behind than dust it picks up? Isn't this thing supposed to be electrmagnetically charged or something? I'm dusting my piano and I pick up the dust alright, and leave 6 billion white fibers behind. Does Swiffer really think I prefer their duster strands to the dirt??? My power broom I have from them isnt' any better. The first 3 mintues is great, then you can hear it dwindle away in power and you madly try to suck up cheerios in a vain attempt. Why bother? Just get out the broom and save yourself the trouble.

Windex really isn't streak free. Birds and people do not walk into my patio doors because there is always that streaking behind. It's blatant false advertising. My husband insists I don't know how to clean glass properly. Am I to believe I am the only person on earth that doesn't know how to use Windex properly? Apparently so. But vinegar and water seems to work out just fine for me!

Why is it that when your pot of water boils over it leaves this burnt up film on your range that you can't get off?? It's WATER!!!!! Come on!! I've had every range top imagineable: coil, glass top, burner tops: they all have the same problems! I spent 15 mintues trying to scrub off the water marks under the burner. I thought white stoves were a pain to wash; believe me a black one isn't any better. It just shows off grease more.

Anyways, that's my cleaning rants for today. What are your biggest pet peeves when you clean?

Saturday, March 10, 2007


Am I the only one out there that thinks you should only have to live through 80's fashions once in your lifetime?

I am going to a birthday party for a friend of mine this week-end. He'll be 36 - he was a teen of the 80's. So his wife decided to throw him an 80's themed party. Sounds fun - until she says we all have to dress like the 80's. I'm going to be honest, by the time I was hip to the 80's, it was 88 or 89, so I really didn't spend a lot of time doing the 80's thing. But I figured I can be a good sport, and yes I have backcombed my bangs 7 feet high, so technically I have experienced it.

We went shopping for outfits and I was blown away. Fashions right now ARE the 80's!! Big shirts, leggings with lace, big ugly belts and those horrid plastic looking shoes. Not to mention the plastic jewelry. I just about laughed! How easy was that! But personally, I don't think I'll be dressing like that on purpose. Seeing the young girls shopping and wearing this stuff; it's hillarious that my purchases were for a costume party. It's funny how these things make a come-back when you are older. I'm guess retro 80's is the "in" thing. Does this mean my grand kids will be wearing low-rise jeans?

All I have to say is if they bring back acid wash jeans, I will have to protest. Nothing good can be said about those - even though I had some and had them pinned and folded at the ankles. What were your favorite memories of the 80's??

Friday, March 09, 2007


When I was a little girl, I used to love the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I could watch that movie 100 times, and I think I did. My grandparents had a dish and they had taped it for us kids for when we came to visit. We must've watched that tape over and over again. The ompa-loompa's freaked me out (they must've had too much carotene in their diets, I don't know about those crazy rickets), but it was a good flick. I especially loved it when Charlie finds the last golden ticket in his candy bar. I have to admit, I always cautiously looked for mine whenever I was given a Kit Kat. I mean you just never know when Willie Wonka might slip one in there!

It got me thinking though - what is your golden ticket moment in life? What stands out to you as being that moment in time where you felt you were on top of the world and that life was shining down on you? Was it the day you married your significant other? Was it the day someone special first said they loved you? Was it when you heard your children's first cries in this world? Maybe that is a hard question because life is full of many priceless moments. How can you single out one and say it was the defining moment of your life?

I have a theory on this: I think your golden ticket is looking back on your life and thinking, "I've had a wonderful journey." I think it's made up of so many different events and memories; that living a good and happy life is the ticket to it all. That's my though on it, you may agree or disagree. Whatever your thoughs; I do hope you find your golden ticket in this lifetime.

Thursday, March 08, 2007


OK and I did steal this idea from MamaLee; because she steals good ideas all the time ;) Maybe we should start copyrighting our blogs? No worries we share everything - even Janis ;)
Google your name as "........ needs" and then see what you come up with. I loved MamaLee's list - here is mine!

1. ELLE NEEDS TO CREATE A REALITY SHOW - If I did would you watch me? I promise not to be like Ricky Lake with the "talk to the hand" or like Maury with the "Who You Baby Daddy?" shows.

2. ELLE NEEDS BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS - Yikes!! Man is that still standing from 2002 when I had the c-section with the twins? That's a long time to need blood. Is a vampire secretly draining me at night? Is it dh? I am partly Romanian you know. No wonder I'm anemic!

3. ELLES NEEDS A PART-TIME ACTING ASSOCIATE EDITOR - OK what exactly is that and why do I need it? Apparently I do. All qualified applicants should have washboard abs, nice fully head of hair, and a manly name like "Chase" or "Sven" or something. Fabios need not apply.

4. ELLE NEEDS DATING HELP - Apparently someone didn't get their wedding invitation back in 1998. If I'm dating again, that's news to me and hubby. Hopefully I'm not on the market anytime soon!

5. ELLE NEEDS INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM - I didn't realize I was so popular. Believe me, any investigative work done on me would be rather boring. No one would win a Pultzer for my life-time documentary or anything.

6. ELLES NEEDS A BEAUTIFUL ION OF INTIMATE APPAREL - What you no like my leather whips and my chaps? C'mon people - let me work with with what I got!!! Apparently I should start shopping at Victoria's Secret rather than that "Adult" store located near the liquor mart.

7. ELLE NEEDS TO RENT A TOUR BUS - But I just got back from tour!! I think me and MamaLee should go on tour together - cut down on the bus rental fees. We could get a small U-Haul trailer to haul the kids in behind the bus. What do you think?

8. ELLE NEEDS TO SWAY SOME OPINION - Isn't that what I'm always trying to do?

9. ELLE NEEDS TWO OMNI ATTENNAS - OKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, I'm not sure why that exactly is. Oh that's right, I'm plotting to take over the world in my evil diabolic plan. I shall reign terror over the world! WOOO HA HA HA!

And my personal favorite....

10. ELLE NEEDS TO BE SHORTER, PUNCHIER AND CHEAPER - LOL OK I totally sound like a prostitute here. Apparently I take too long, need to bitch slap someone, and lower my rates. I dunno, what is the conversion on the Canadian dollar right now? People stop offering me food stamps ok? That's not payment!!


I have been toying with the idea of having a cleaning service come into the house once a week to help me keep up with the house. I have to admit: I have issues with it. Not because I'm particularly picky, but mostly because I don't want people to think I'm lazy (how sad is that?). It doesn't help that my mother-in-law always asks me, "So when are you getting a maid?" Our house is approximately 4,300 sq feet so she thinks that means I need a maid.

When Kierra's annual review was done for her services, they gave us a subsidy for a cleaning services. Bascially 12 hours per month, and they will cover $16.00/hour of it. I won't go into huge detail why this is: let's just say caring for her can be extroidinary circumstances. They offer this to most families with special needs children here; this is the same program I get our respite from. Anyways back to the cleaning service.

So yesterday I interviewed a company. The gentleman seemed nice enough; he gave me his presentation and all that. I showed him the house, he made a few comments. Then he gave me his breakdown of price; to the tune of $35.00/hour! So yes that's $19.00/hour out of pocket for me. The only problem is he's saying 3 hours per week, and that quickly eats up my subsidy. I'm deliberating what I do next. I could try to find someone that is private, but then I don't know if they are bonded or anything. This company carries insurance. Part of me wants to tell dh to forget it; I can do the house myself. And I can; it just takes me a few days. Any imput out there for someone looking to let someone else do the vaccuming?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Buying one of those plug-in air fresheners is somewhat of an aromatic connumdrum. You open up the package, take off those plastic covers and your house instantly smells like a lemon grove or an orchard or something. Even on the lowest setting possible, it gives you a migraine just walking 20 feet from it - the smell is that strong! And here's a warning; don't ever get that liquid on your hands. I swear I touched it accidentally and I can STILL smell pommegrantes or whatever it is. It absorbed into my skin and won't let go! Having fragrant fingers isn't exactly handy... plus people might look at you funny if you ask them to sniff em.

So why is it after a few days or having these things plugged in, you don't smell anything at all? At first I thought I was just used to it; but I really don't think that's the case. Wouldn't I smell it when I was out for a few hours, and came back in the house? I asked my mom and she said she didn't smell anything either. Those contraptions are such a hit and miss. You are either so inundated with aroma that your nostrils are in a 3 inch permanent flare, triggering allergies you never knew you had; or you can't smell a darn thing except stinky kids boots sitting in the closet down the hallway. Why is it so hard for Glade, AirWick, Frebreeze or any of those great companies to make an air freshener that is somewhere in the middle? I mean they charge enough for the bloody things; it would be nice for them to work for more than 3 days (3 days of which you can't even breathe).

Don't ask me why I continue my quest to buy these things; in a hope to find one that actually works. I am definately a "sniff" person: I love scented candles, nice smelling dish detergent, and I love the smell of Downy. I'm nasally fixated I guess. So does anyone have a product to recommend that doesn't peter out in less than a week?


My mother would laugh ... payback always comes full circle!

This morning, I went into our bathroom on the main floor. I absently left a full new package of pantyliners on the counter (sorry guys; but it is what it is). I wasn't even thinking. Yes I could have undid the child safety lock and put them in the cabinet. OR I could be lazy, throw them on the counter to worry about them later.

Turns out later is when you happen by the bathroom and see the light on. You peek inside to see who is using the facilities, and instead find HALF the bag of Always has been un-done and pantyliners are stuck on your wall or on your bathroom mirror!! Not to mention the nifty little pre-packaged wipes they now put on the wrappers are collected in a neat pile in the bathroom sink! I had to laugh; because if I had not noticed it; 15 minutes later Kierra's therapist probably would have! How do you explain approximately 10 pantyliners stuck in your bathroom? A decorative muse? A political statement: I am a woman and I get a period; and I'm not ashamed! Or that you are just lazy and didn't bother to put them away, and that's what happens when your autistic child finds them sitting there.

The reason why I said "full circle" in the begining of my post is I did the EXACT same thing when I was about Kierra's age. My mom came into her bathroom to find me with them stuck all over my outfit and two in my hair! So apparently maxi-pad fashion is hereditary. Maybe we should just stick to Playtex?

Friday, March 02, 2007


OK seriously: do you ever hear your child talk and wonder where on earth they come up with the things that so effortlessly fall from their lips? Ever try hard not to laugh your face off when they make these sudden proclamations? The other night at dinner, Jenna (one of the twins) was monitoring me making dinner. As soon as I pulled the brocolli out of the veggie crisper, I knew it was coming. "Ohhhh what is THAT?", "I don't want to eat that!", "I don't think that looks right." Sheesh kid, at least wait until it's on your plate before you start to dog it!!

Let me back up a second and give you a better understanding about Jenna and meals. Since this kid was born; she's been a picky eatter. Can't breastfeed cause she's too lazy, or because my nipple didn't look sanitary enough (she is a clean freak). Every time she ate, about 10 minutes later, it re-surfaced (of all the matching baby outfits, Jenna's always had the stains). Jenna can live off of one saltine and a juice box for an entire week. The child is 4 1/2 and probably weighs a whopping 32 lbs soaking wet. She'd rather go hungry than eat a meal she doesn't approve of. She gives us the "reject" fries at McDonald's if they have any brown discoloration, any strange "dints" or anything else that doesn't meet her anal non-french fry standards. Ever see a kid try to dust off her food for no aparent reason? She has a meal repetoire of probably 8 things. Got it all? OK back to the brocolli.

So anyways, she tells me she's not hungry (although she is), and when she comes to the table about 10 mintues after dinner starts, she begins to complain about the meal. I made scalloped potatoes with cheese and chicken florentine too; so even in spite of the brocolli, something should have been ok. All of a sudden, Jenna says to me very seriously,

J - "Mom, I have to start making my own choices in life."
Me - "Excuse me?"
J - "I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I need to make my choices."
Me - trying not to laugh "Oh really?"
J - "Yes. I'm making a choice to not eat this brocolli. It has celery on it."
Me - "I'm pretty sure there is no celery on your brocolli".
J - "Yes look" points at the stem
Me - "Well that's part of the brocolli".
J - "I'm thinking my choice is not to eat it anyways."
Me - "You are too young to make your own choices. Some things yes, but not about vegetables."
J - "No fair mom! You are intafrereering with my choices!"

She was so serious, man it was hard not to totally crack up! Where do they come up with this stuff? The next day she was having a pretend yard sale (where did she learn about those?) and tried to sell me a stuff animal for $10.00! Already has her father's business witts about her let me tell you. I have to remember to write some of these antedotes in her baby book, because I think one day it will be funny to read them to her. And by the by; I feel sorry for anyone that goes to one of her yard sales. Make sure to bring plenty of cash!


Remember a few weeks ago I said I was taking Karis in for her 3 year old portraits? Well I decided to skip the Wal-Mart and Sears route (they always screw me with the "accept the first pose for the package" so-called deal. Anyways, since moving here, I've been eyeing this portrait studio. They always have the greatest photographs displayed - the kind you wish you had of your own family. So with the kind urging of my mom; I booked my darling girl a session there. First off, yes it was more than I usually pay but I think the pictures speak for themselves! Isn't she just the cutest??? There were about 75 of them to choose from, and it wasn't easy!!

Anyways, my dear husband looked at the receipt I mysteriously had hidden (well really; it wasn't that hidden) and just about had a coronary. I rationalized that you can't put a price on capturing your children's youth. He objected and said, "Yes you can!" I told him a picture is worth 1000 words - he just decided to let the whole thing go (probably figured you can't reason with a PMS woman). Besides, you go to any quality photographer and you aren't going to get a $9.99 package deal. LOL yes I'm trying to give merit to my case. Anyone would have to admi though (even darling hubby) that they did a wonderful job!


For those of you who missed me; my absence was due to painting. Yes I'm painting again. You'd think I'd run out of things in this house to paint by now wouldn't you? I wish.

I decided to finally re-paint the twins and Karis' bathrooms. The original owner painted the entire house with a flat paint - including the bathrooms. So I had to re-paint with semi-gloss. I decided to go fun with the twins bath, and make it really bright! (oh and it is!!) Karis' ducky-themed bathroom did great with light blue walls. All the kids are in love with their new bathrooms. There is definately no fighting about taking baths now! Of course me being me, I couldn't help but make some handmade crafts for them. I think Michael's Crafts considers me their favorite customer right now. I enjoy making them though; so the pleasure is all mine.

I also finished my laundry room. You might ask, "who in the world decorates their laundry room?" Answer: me. LOL I had bought a wallpaper border for it when we first moved in in 2005. Its' been sitting on the shelf ever since. I finally painted the room, and today applied the border. Not fun when everything in that room is either uneven, or just plain awkward to get around. After a lot of swearing, I finally had it done. So three days of work; things look great but now I have to see my chiropractor to fix my shoulder/neck and whatever else I screwed up over-utilizing my right arm. I look like lurch right now.

Of course I'm including pictures of my hard week's work!! Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed creating them (minus the debilitating physio I'll need).